I HATE being late. Absolutely fucking hate it. It comes from a 30+ year career of knowing I could blow a $200+ million dollar deal by being 5 minutes late. Accordingly, I always plan on getting to the agreed-to location 15 to 30 minutes early. More if I need to meet a business colleague there who will be with me in the meeting.
Having said that, lateness of SB's, especially on the M&G is part of the process.
Note that I always message a confirmation a day and two hours before the meet. In addition I message when I arrive (always early) that I am there, where I am (i.e.: sitting at the bar) and what color shirt I am wearing. I might also send a quick selfie at my seat so she can quickly find me.
Then my rules for dealing with it vary according to three scenario's:
1. I do NOT have her cell/text number (even though I always offer mine when we initially confirm the date/time/location):
- This is the category which has the highest occurrence of late and no-shows.
- At 5 mins. late I will message through the site that I am here and ask if she's on her way. I include my phone number again.
- At 15 mins. late, I will message her that I guess she's having some conflict, hope she is OK, and I will be leaving in 5 minutes.
- At 20 mins. late I bail.
2. I do have her cell/text number and she has not responded to my previous texts.
- At 10 mins. late, I will message her and ask if she is ok? If she responds, I'll cut her some slack up to 30 min. late (if she's otherwise been non-suspicious).
- At 20 mins. with no response, I'll text her the "guess you have a conflict" message and tell her I'll in 10 minutes if she doesn't reply.
- At 30 mins. late, I bail.
3. I have her cell/text number and she HAS responded to all past messages in a reasonable amount of time.
- At 15 mins. late, I message her asking for status and I hope she's ok. If she responds, I'll cut her some slack up to an hour late (if she's otherwise been non-suspicious.
- At 45 minutes with no response, I'll text her that I am about to leave. Please let me know if she still wants to meet. Then I bail.
In the first two scenario's, if she eventually contacts me, usually asking for forgiveness and a reschedule, and she has a reasonable excuse (phone battery died, flat tire, overslept, couldn't get out of work, forgot, decided she needed more $, are all UNREASONABLE excuses) I explain the Tony The Tiger Rule: "I have a one-flake policy and you just had your one flake. Bye bye." If she actually tries to contact me again, she'd need to offer some pretty incredible value to make me consider trying to meet her again.
In the last scenario, if she has a reasonable excuse, I will generally work out a reschedule. This usually works out well for me, as long as I don't get a vibe I'm being played.
Underlying philosophy:
I- No matter what she thinks her time is worth, MY time is several orders of magnitude more valuable. The proof is obvious: she is willing to suck at least one (maybe several) dick(s) to pay her rent. I am not.
II- There are more POT SB's available. Always. Every day, every week, every month, and every city.