with a provider and she was in love with me as well.  Unfortunately for both of us I could no longer be in love with a woman who was willing to share her body with other men. She is a very orgasmic woman but claimed she could never have an orgasm while working.  She was especially able to orgasm while daty.  Is it possible that a woman like this can control their orgasms to the point that they don't cum. Our relationship is over but I still am curious if she was being truthful with me or prefeered not to hurt me.

Good grief my dearest bigless,
I think this is the "I've-fallen-in-love-with-a- provider-and-I-can't-get-up" week!

In all seriousness, however, I'd like to pose the following logical question: You say she is a very orgasmic woman, but she could never have an orgasm while working. So does this mean that when you first met as client-provider, she couldn't orgasm, but by some miraculous transmutation, she was able to once you fell in love?

If the answer is yes, then you're dealing with a woman who definitely compartmentalizes (very common and almost necessary for sanity in the provider profession)and does not let herself go with clients. Also, let's face it, how many clients do you really think she's clit-quiveringly attracted to? If she's a good performer, then she'll have her clients feel very appreciated and hot. But the reality is that few women, providers or civvies, are attracted to as many men sexually as men are attracted to women that way. Men have more forgiving standards than women, bar none. In the service of evolution, nature has made most women very, very choosy. In the service of Short Term Mating Strategies, however, particularly when financial remuneration is present, women can set all preferences aside and are able to turn in a very credible performance. But most of the time, it ain't the real thing you're seeing. She doesn't have to control her orgasm, it's simply not there because she's not turned on enough.

Now, as to her being "truthful," I'm not sure what you mean. Was she able to truly orgasm with you? Maybe, because she found you genuinely attractive and you ceased being a client. Now this doesn't have to mean specific looks, it means attracted to you as a complete human being. And so she let herself go and she was able to enjoy the sexual interaction. So in that sense, I think her orgasms were truthful indeed. I see no reason for her to lie about them. After all, it was you who broke it off because you couldn't handle her profession (understandable.)And of course, I hope you weren't still paying, because then we're dealing with projection and not mutuality.

Still, the mere fact that you are asking these questions lead me to believe that you still carry somewhat of a torch for her, and that the relationship ended on an emotionally unanswered note. Yes, it's difficult being in love with a provider. My heart goes out to all providers as well. How difficult and how many emotional sacrifices they must make, in order to keep their jobs. Many providers lead total double lives with unintentional and stressful duplicity. Yes, the money may be good, but it surely takes an emotional toll. That's the hard part...that, and worrying where the next call will come from, just to mention a few difficult issues. So the money isn't earned that easily, and the sacrifices are great. Then again, it beats working a joyless 9-5 or the graveyard shift at the Postal Service....

It's all a conundrum of great magnitude,
the Love Goddess

I am in love with a wonderful provider, the inimitable Ms. Beverly Fisher.

Since she is a provider, I guess you might say that I share her body with other men.  But that is not the case in truth.

The way the question gets posed, it assumes that a SO like me has a ownership of the other's body.  That is not love, it is slavery.

Love means recognizing the essence of the person, the essence to which you are attracted to and which in turn, is attracted to you.

This is all that you are entitled to.

When you understand this, you will be much closer to love and be so liberated that it is like leaving a prison and walking in the morning air.

It takes two to come to this, so if you love a provider (and they make wonderful lovers and soulmates) ask to view your relationship this way and you will definately be on your way to heaven.

Thanks for letting me express this and thank you again LG for such elevating posts.

.In answer to your question she did orgasm while I was a paying client. She claims that once we fell in love that was no longer part of her M.O.  I was not still paying.....Our relationship lasted a number of years.  Unfortunately I was unable to "buy her out of her prefession" like I have heard others do because of my financial position.

You are extremely right.  I still have her in my heart as does she for me.  It did end on an emotionally unanswered note.  Your words are so right on and true about providers leading double lives.  I do wish I could continue our relationship but as you can imagine our sexual relationship reached levels that I never knew could br reached.  We are both extremely sexual and both of us went to heights that we never thought we could reach.  We experimented with I think everything known to man so to speak and I think that was at the core of our downfall.  The more levels  our sexuality climbed the more diffilcult it was for me to accept her profession.  Amazing one meets such a wonderful compatible person thru this profession and it ends up the culprit while we are apart now.

Thanks for your insight ......It is greatly appreciated.

With no dis-respect to your ability to do such, We are all different and we all beat to different drums.  I am not able to accomplish viewing my relationship with her as you are able to. Interesting question for other TER posters !

My heart goes out to you, bigless. I really hope you will find happiness with someone with whom these issues will not play an unsolvable part..

the Love Goddess

Yes, it's possible. I cannot cum unless I'm into the guy no matter what he's doing down there.