I just do not get it at all I am a handsome intelligent funny very muscular guy and at gym women are always smiling and stairing.  when I go up yo them most are cold but women over 30 and 40 are very friendly.  I am 27.  I would love a womens advice, opinion on this.

Thanks

Dear MJ63987,

While I understand your frustration, it seems to me that you have been exposed to some good old human mating strategies. From an evolutionary standpoint, the scenario you describe makes total sense.

You see, the younger types are still in the market for a "primary" mate. As such, they signal their availability by smiling and giving off cues - they are, in an evolutionary sense, "available." But please be aware that WOMEN ALWAYS DIRECT TRAFFIC in the initial stages. Your job, should you sign up to do it, is to COMPLETELY IGNORE THEM. Yup, that's right. Don't pay dem bitches no mind!

I know it's tough, but just ignore them until you show them that you are so desired by women in general that you don't give a rat's behind about some female making goo-goo eyes at you. THEN, their competition gene gets going, and they will redouble their efforts - if they truly are interested. This will then slowly escalate until one of you - in this day and age, either one of you could make a first move - begins to signal an interest in further involvement. But, if you reciprocate before THEY are ready, then you'll get exactly what you are describing - an icy shoulder. This is so that the male shouldn't get any frisky ideas. Oftentimes among chimps and other simians, you'll see this behavior among alpha versus betamales. The female chimps act coquettish, but will only respond to the alpha male. When the beta boys - or the younger, inexperienced males approach, the females chastise them or simply turn away. It's like you have to "earn your mating stripes," and muscles don't really cut it. Now, if they knew that there was a Bentley parked in the garage, that might be a different story. In our society, money signals alpha, for better or for worse.

Now why is it that the 30-40 year olds are much more relaxed about this? Quite simple, my friend. These women have more than likely already scored their "primary" mate, and are either in the market for a new one or possibly interested in "short term mating." This means exactly what it sounds like - nothing serious, just a flirt or possibly some extracurricular activity that may or may not lead to something more permanent. In other words, these women have already done their initial mating dance. They are seasoned primates, cunning chimps if you will, and they know what they want, since they already had a taste of what mated life means.

If you really want to know more about this, I'd suggest an easy read, like David Buss' book "The Evolution of Desire." There, you can see why the 98.2% of DNA we share with our simian cousins plays out in the human arena even today, despite our superior neocortical faculties.

In the meantime...work on your financial assets as much as you do on your muscles and see if it changes the picture...

the Love Goddess



-- Modified on 7/13/2008 3:29:13 PM

Can you get them at WalMart?

Maybe they're just starting at you because you've got food between your teeth.

Get a life!!!

I guess my look (deer in the headlights while drooling) isn't what you're talking about. Now you tell me! No wonder I haven't been lucky.

Hey, MJ, I'll get a life as soon as you get a sense of humor, if that's even possible.

Or maybe because he uses the word "stear" when he speaks out loud.

Am I too old to be sexually alluring to cougars?  I was born in the early 80s; and I heard they only want 21 year olds.

Best,
Expired Cougar Bait

PS Gym guy should go read Neil Strauss' The Game

Wow, LG!  I may have to start reading a bit more of your posts because I believe you are 100% correct on this.

It is hard for some men, myself included, to come to this realization, but this is exactly how you have to pursue (or not pursue) in this situation.  It may lead to some lonely nights, but in the end your success rate does climb.

I have a very attractive, intelligent friend who, in the past, I showed interest in.  Nothing. Nada. Not available.  Ok, so I accept our relationship as what it is, just friendship.  It remains so, UNTIL you let another woman, especially attractive, come on to the scene when we may be out for an evening.  Its almost comical to me how her attitude and actions change instantly. Suddenly she's all over me.  Its all about that primal competition thing.  Play it cool and act like you're not interested and she'll eventually show her cards if she's into you.