The Erotic Highway

I can't find the review in question but
inicky46 61 Reviews 94 reads
posted

it involved a bird and a babbling provider who was clearly nuts or on drugs and wouldn't shut up to the point where I think sex may have never actually happened. I wish someone would find that one. It was kind of infamous years ago as the goofiest review ever.

BoardAdmin1053 reads

Don’t mention username or provider. Just copy and paste part of General or Juicy details here.

moneyball5110 reads

and you just want to through up :

..It began with the same spark and excitement as previous times, yet always with a hint of something different and wonderful.  Something new to be explored.  As the time for an evening together nears,  I see this memorable sight.  A view of ***** on a beautiful day, with the vast Pacific Ocean in the backdrop.  Her hair flowing in a gentle breeze.  Her smile.  A breathtaking view capturing her beauty, charm, and spirit.  We walk and talk, and slowly make this journey to the rest of the evening.  At dinner I am captivated again by that beauty and charm. To my delight, she is dressed very enticing yet elegant, and the conversation flows.    

As this already perfect evening unfolds, we are now in our room, sitting on a couch, having drinks.  Continued engaging conversation.  I could listen to her talk for hours.  The sound of her soft voice is briefly interrupted by her light kisses.  More conversation and then somehow she is sitting on my lap.  At some point light kisses turn into deeper ones.  During  these deep long kisses, she starts guiding my shy hands over her amazing body.  The touch of her soft skin, the feel of her breasts.  Her warmth.  A peek of her breast, then a nipple exposed.  Then both are released.  So beautiful.  So perfect.   I hold, kiss and ravish them.  I don’t even realize how or when, but she has my shirt off, then at some point my pants undone.  This erupts to something like teenagers in a furious rush of passion.  My shyness gone for the moment.  Again, I don’t remember exactly how it got to this point, but I know it was heaven getting there and heaven being there.   My face is  buried between her thighs.  I hear and feel her intense passion, with her wetness all over my face.  She then shifts position and takes me in her mouth.  Looking at me with those eyes as she gives me unbelievable pleasure, taking my pleasure.   Ecstasy.  Then a pause as I need to  catch my breath.  Back to conversation, again shyly touching.  She guides my hand between her thighs.  She then suggests  we go to the bed.  We do, with mutual touching and playing and then I am inside her.  More passion, more ecstasy, repeated often.  New adventures explored, with moments where I am so content just holding, feeling, looking at her.  

******* has this unique combination of a beautiful soul with intense erotic sensuality, with an incredible body and hypnotically beautiful face and eyes.  It is all just so right.  

****** is beautiful.  ****** is special.  ****** is unforgettable.  She is perfect.

I particularly love the line  

 
"I could listen to her talk for hours"

 
What do you want to bet this poor pussy whipped slob actually did have to do exactly that. That poor, emasculated fool. ROFL

 
I wonder if "she" really thinks ANYONE believes this drivel?  

 
GREAT post BTW. I will try to find one to do your's justice. You've set the bar pretty high

moneyball559 reads

When  he mentions her beauty and brains in every 2nd sentence, you know hahaha

 
Here is another review, where you can tell that hobbyist wrote it.

"She turned around and presented herself for RCG and asked me to gently remove her plug. I did as instructed and she generously applied silicone lube to her ass and my now throbbing cock before lowering herself flatfooted down on to me. It took a couple of minutes but she finally worked me in to the hilt. She paused before gently rocking back and forth. As she relaxed and picked up speed she started to use a vibe on here pussy and clit. the sensation of that being transmitted through her ass to my cock i knew would send me over the edge. And it soon did, which she ignored and kept forging ahead until she came hard with me still deep in her ass. She fell forward with her hips still pinned against my pelvis. I came still fill her ass pulsating... after a few minutes she raised herself off of me and spun around to remove the condom. When she did, she proceeded to clean me with her mouth. When she was satisfied she had accomplished the task, she slid up my body to kiss me again."

 
 He even gave her 8/9 lol

moneyball571 reads

*** was a bit. . . quirky about being clean in our first meeting.  The greeting BBBJ after entering was done with a mouth full of mouthwash.  Which actually felt really unique and was really good. . . I feel like asking her to do that again next time.  She sings a little bit to herself while getting you ready and washing you in the shower, which really helps provide an atmosphere of comfort.

John_Laroche94 reads

I actually posted this in a contest on the Let's Play board shortly before things went bad 2 years ago. Here are a few of my favorite lines int he review:

General Details
...She looks good. Her pics don't show her giant gap tooth, her stretch marks, or the cake of makeup on her face, but she looked good.  

The Juicy Details
Okay, so I arrive at her hotel, take a giant dump in her toilet (huge),....
...A few minutes later I try to reach my head around to kiss her, and she immediately flips shit. "Aah! Okay! *smack* *smack*". She then says "No more kissing! You're all sweaty and it's grossing me out!"

it involved a bird and a babbling provider who was clearly nuts or on drugs and wouldn't shut up to the point where I think sex may have never actually happened. I wish someone would find that one. It was kind of infamous years ago as the goofiest review ever.

but yes, I remember the birdlady review too, I also seem to remember her panhandling on either the Carolinas or FL board a few years back. Yes, I looked for it too, but I can't seem to locate it either.

 
BUT, I bet you don't need Storm's help in remembering who "took the giant dump", ROFLMFAO

time zone in the middle of the Pacific, but the time difference is NOT 4 days, so your guess is as good as mine. Lol

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