I want to have an arousal dial installed.  Most of the time, everything works fine and I enjoy sex very much.  Sometimes however, I'm either too excited and cum too quickly or not aroused enough and lose the erection.

 It seems clear to me that it's all in my head.  Either way, as soon as something doesn't go as I'd like I get anxious about it.  Trying to force something to happen (get hard!) is very rarely successful, usually it just exaggerates the problem.  It's easier to deal with if I'm too excited, but either extreme leads to a less-than-fulfilling experience.

 So, I just thought that if someone could tell me where I can get an arousal dial installed I'd do it.  Then I can just turn it up to 8 or so for sex, turn it all the way up when we're ready for the big finish and even be able to bump it down some when things happen in inappropriate times/places  In the meantime I'm trying to learn to relax and better control/regulate my emotions.

 Sometimes I envy women for their ability to do what they want/need to do even if their state of arousal isn't right where it should be.

Well, HungLikeABunny,
if it's in your head, then you'll need to address the head.

I recommend reading the late Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld's book "The New Male Sexuality" (1992). It contains very good material on performance anxiety. I'm attaching a link to Amazon.com for your convenience. The book may be out of print, but available from used book sellers.

In the meantime, taking it slow might be a good idea. Investigate tantra, either in books, or do a search on tantric providers out there. Devotees swear by its positive effects on sexuality in general and eroticism in particular.

Another kind of BunnyHop?,
the Love Goddess

"...even if their state of arousal isn't right where it should be."
In whose judgement?
And who passed on the qualifications of that judge?
Maybe it is where she wants it to be.
Which would, actually, be a good thing - except for the over-expecter who passes judgement.

I think he was just trying to state that physically a woman can have sex (i.e. intercourse) when she is not fully aroused but a man must be erect to perform...

-- Modified on 8/25/2006 1:57:56 PM