I'm refusing to meet again with a girl who embarrassed me at dinner.

 
I reserved the best booth at my favorite steakhouse to meet a late-20s Asian chick, attractive face and shape. She communicated well online, albeit strictly business and no flirting. We agreed to all details including allowance and BCD activities.

 
She stunned me with her arrival. While I dressed in a suit, she dressed like a peasant. She was expressionless. I had planned a 2+ hour dining experience. She seemed ravenous. She devoured the bread basket, never speaking to me unless spoken to.

 
I changed my strategy to just eating quickly and leaving as soon as possible. She greedily ate every morsel. She wiped the potato dish with her fingers and licked them. We split a huge, bone-in prime rib. When finished, she literally picked up the bones with both hands and gnawed off the remaining specks of meat, elbows out. I was mortified.  

 
All the more so because I know the two head men on the floor of this steakhouse. They were nothing but respectful to me, but they knew I had brought a girl who didn't know how to behave in their establishment.

 
She was more than ready to go back to my room. (She even asked me, twice, if I "have the room.") I paid. I hugged her on the sidewalk and said it just wasn't going to work out. I just couldn't imagine enjoying fucking a girl who had just embarrassed me so much. I gave her half the agreed-upon allowance. She seemed fine with that.

 
I returned the next night to apologize to the head men for bringing a girl who did not know how to behave.

 
Now she has texted me three more times, asking to get together. I simply cannot bring myself to do so.

 
Please share if you've been mortified by the behavior of your sugar baby on a date. Misery love company, I guess.

Yes, but in a different way.  I meet my SBs at my condo.  Frequently, they dress very sexy, even though I ask them to dress casually.  About six months ago, one showed up wearing a tube dress that was half way up her ass with no underwear.  Not exactly what you want your neighbors to see. Last week I had another new SB show up dressed like she was going to a nightclub showing off her many curves.  One of my neighbors saw her walking to the elevator and was eyeing her admiringly. Fortunately, he couldn’t pinpoint me as the destination since I ducked out of his sight.

Isn't this where you take the young thing under your wing and mold her into the Pretty Woman she wants to be?

I can't argue with your implied suggestion, LP. Now I wonder why that wasn't my precise reaction, instead of being offended and embarrassed.  

 
Perhaps I could overlook the embarrassment if I sensed any chemistry whatsoever. A young lady who lacks refinement, yet who is also into you, is not only forgivable, it is adorable and endearing. This girl wasn't rude to me, strictly speaking. She just completely ignored me and ignored our surroundings.

 
If I change my mind with this girl, we will definitely not dine at a fancy place beforehand.

...but she is not an SB, she is a hooker.  

 
Maybe she is trying to up her game from Johns met on backpage or on the street. Or maybe her pimp/bf thought he had a good idea.  Or maybe she's poor as fuck and was hungry.  I've had similar situations.  

 
The first was way back at the start of my Sugar journey. In fact, it was before Seeking was launched. We met on WhatsYourPrice (WYP). She was a 21-year-old Asian spinner, attending classes at a local community college and living in a dorm next to campus.  She had me pick her up from the school parking lot and off we went to the best steakhouse I could afford.  Now WYP uses a "pay her for the 1st date" model, with the assumption that you will continue to date if you like each other.  I was getting "1st dates" for between $75 and $125, and the site had several boxes in the profile section for dating objectives, which included sugaring, along with LTR, and other options. She had checked Sugaring, and as I said, this was my very 1st attempt in the space. Now after decades of business dinners at high-end steak houses, I was no stranger to the upscale scene.  I asked for a table in a quiet corner and ordered a bottle of wine. Turns out she didn't (couldn't) drink...her profile age of 21 was a lie. She was only 20.  

 
She looked at the menu and ordered the biggest, most expensive steak they had, plus a lobster, plus about 4 sides. Now, this girl was all of maybe 98 lbs., and she ordered at least 4 pounds of food!  I rolled with it, ordered a ribeye and we chatted.   Once the steaks arrived, she took about 3 bites, told me she was full and that she would ask for to-go bags for the rest.  

 
Then came the biggest non-sequitur I've ever heard:  "Do you like hand jobs?"  Do you remember that line from Ghostbusters:  "When someone asks you if you are a God, you say YES!" Well, same thing when it's about hand jobs. LOL  

 
She told me she would give me a hand job in my car after dinner if I could add another $100 to our previously agreed $100 date fee. I was stunned and thought "This sugar dating thing is AWESOME!"  

 
We finished dinner.... er I mean packing dinner, and headed to my car. Happiness ensued and we went on to date, albeit not without other quirky moments, for about 5 months.  

 
The next was years later, after I had moved back to LA, but was still developing my SD master-level skills.  Specifically, I was still ok with booking a high-end diner as a M&G.  She was a slutty-sexy blond. Her profile looked good, message chat was good, and she was DTF after dinner. But we had not yet agreed on allowance (huge mistake!).   I had not yet encountered very many GPS POT's in LA yet... which meant my Spidey Senses were almost non-existent.  She arrived at the restaurant (a very high-end steak house) by Uber, and my eyes popped out of my head. She was dressed in a sparkling, bandana-style wrap around top, no bra, and you could clearly see her nipples through the fabric, along with a ton of side boob.  Add to that she was wearing tight cut-off shorts that exposed serious cheek and had fur trimming along the edges, plus she had bright pink leather cowboy boots.  You'd think I picked her up right from a Las Vegas Strip movie set.  

 
The female hostess greeted us as I gave her my reservation info.  She wisely put us in a booth in the far corner, where most of the diners would not see us.  As we ate, my date frequently "pointed" to things around her with her tits. I can't really describe it better, but you could see those things moving around as she looked at various objects.   The wait staff remained professional of course. I wasn't the first old fat guy to walk in with a floozy and I would not be the last. But I did notice that the entire busboy staff was always hovering around my table ready to help as much as possible. LOL  

 
Now I will admit that parallel to the embarrassment felt, she was making me as hard as any stripper has when grabbing my junk during a lap dance.  But - she wanted $800 for BCD with a cover, and at that time in LA (pre-covid, maybe 2016), that was a high-end, 2-hour hooker-level rate. Prior to that I had never provided more than $400 allowance, usually $250-$300.  Considering I was in for at least $500 for the dinner, I was just not going to end up with a $1.3k out of pocket night. I sent her on her way, multiple lessons learned, and moved on. Eventually I returned to the restaurant and am now an infrequent but high-tipping, regular.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Yeah, I think you're right, HTC. She's a hooker whether she realizes it or not. But most hookers at least dress up to go to one of the city's most sought-after steakhouses. And most hookers at least try to talk. Maybe she's on one spectrum or another, but she sure ain't on *my* spectrum.

 
Rockford

She's a pig! What happened? She's famine victim?

I was still living in Silicon Valley and my job had me on travel 2-3 times a month. I had a 3-day trip to Portland coming up, so I decided to scope out profiles there.  She was late 20's, brunette, slim with a pretty face, and well-dressed in her pics. We started chatting and I explained that I would be in her area and was likely to be returning on a regular basis.  

 
She was interested in meeting but told me she was concerned if I "was real."  She let me know she was divorced from a Navy guy who worked on subs out of the nearby Navy base.  He had cheated on her and she was carrying a lot of baggage from the breakup. Since this was in my earlier "Padawan" days of sugar dating, I did not understand that this news should have been my cue to GTFOT (Get The Fuck Outta There). Instead, I spent a lot of time reassuring her and promising that I was who I say I am. She finally agreed to meet - but not in my hotel room. She wanted a dinner date 1st to make sure she would be comfortable.  We scheduled for my 1st night in town, and tentatively agreed that we could meet again the next night if all went well.  I found a nice restaurant in the building across the street and asked her meet at the hotel bar (and NOT my room) and we could walk to the restaurant. She agreed.  All seemed well at that time...I had no idea of the total shit show that was before me.  

 
My flight landed on time, and I checked into my hotel with no problems. At the appointed time, I went down to the hotel bar and waited.  I had her profile pic on my phone - maybe 5'4", 115 lbs, brown hair.  Twenty minutes late, she texted me that she had parked.  I didn't see her walk in... 3 mins, 5 mins, and I only saw a woman who resembled Violet Beauregarde from Willy Wonka - post-blueberry expansion. She had to be at least 165 lbs and 10 years older than my expected date. Did not look like my date. But you guessed it - that was here. Now I don't fat shame - mostly because I am a fat bastard myself. But if I'm financing this romance, I damn well want my SB's skinny and young, thank you.  Again, I should have just turned her away and headed upstairs alone. Instead, we headed off to dinner across the street while I figured we'd have some nice conversation over a good steak, and we would part ways. But no...  

 
We got the restaurant and were seated. I asked for the wine list and mentioned that I was a bit of an oenophile and would be happy to order something that would pair well with our steaks.  She told me she prefers beer, so I just ordered a glass of a Napa Cab. To my utter amazement she ordered large pitcher of Coors. Not a glass, not a bottle, a LARGE pitcher.  Ok, well maybe she wants to get drink enough to feel comfortable about escalating to something in my room after dinner. I mean if you get a BJ in a dark room does it matter what she looks like? I never found out...    

 
The drinks came and we ordered food.  After the salads arrived, she did something I have never seen before. She asked the waitress for ice for her beer. But wait! That's not all! She didn't want the ice to water-down her beer, so she asked that it be put into a plastic bag and the bag be put INTO the pitcher. But wait! That's not all! Since she didn't want to get smacked on the chin by the bag of ice (a sure sign she would not like getting smacked on the chin by my "bag" during a BJ) she asked for a straw, for her beer, in a pitcher, with a bag of ice inside.  

 
I was stunned. Mortified. It brought up visions of skanks I had met in local-yokel bars outside of Nashville (with apologies to any Nashville folks here).  The waitress handled it all without a stumble or misstep. But I could see it in her eyes... I must be an idiot to be out with this woman. And she was correct.  

 
We finished dinner after what I thought was a month at that table. I walked her back across the street and offered to walk her to her car for safety. She declined still worried that I may be a bad actor.  Realizing I at least partially dodged a huge (and I mean 165lb) bullet, I headed back to my room, still holding the $100 in cash I was going to give her for dinner.  

 
Of course, I never contacted her again, and my guess is that "proved" her concerns were correct that I was "not real," as she never contacted me again either.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Honestly I think she is just totally out of her element at a civilized/nice establishment. She may well be a hooker as HTC suggests. Her English is poor and maybe this is how she survives?

 
She texts me every 1-2 weeks wanting to get back together. She's pretty and I'm tempted, but I just cannot forget how she mortified me at an establishment where I have worked hard to be well known and well treated.

A different Asian chick (hmm, is there a pattern?) pressed me for a meeting in DC. Pretty, petite, flirty, good English. No dice; bad timing; put her on the back burner.

 
She contacts me a couple weeks later when we're both in Manhattan. Stars align this time and we make a date for a fairly famous steakhouse with a great view on 6th Avenue. She arrives perfectly on time and is delightfully perky and flirty and makes heads turn. We are seated in a cozy, wraparound booth on the upper level with a great view of the dining room and the city/street below. Our waiter knows me, so I know we will be treated very well.

 
I don't remember what cocktail she ordered, but she asked for a "wide straw." (I didn't know that was a thing.) Waiter served it to her and she sucked down the whole cocktail through the "wide straw" in seconds. She ordered another and repeated. Our meals arrived and she ate daintily. And shared my wine.

 
She could barely walk when it was time to leave. Staff asked if we needed help before we exited to the sidewalk. Offered to call an ambulance! Outside, she fell over a cordon while I ordered our car. Everyone outside, including me, got to see the leopard panties her short skirt couldn't hide when she fell. A big, loud girl said, "Yeah, she gonna take care o' him tonight!"

 
I helped her to her feet and kept her planted. When the car came, I picked her up and placed her in the car. The Uber driver was not happy. I assume he thought she was going to puke.

 
I took her to my room. She couldn't tell me her address. She couldn't tell me if she wanted me to take her there when I read it from her driver's license. She conked out the minute I put her head on my bed. In the morning she asked if we did it. I asked her if she'd still have her panties on if we did it.  

 
Still think about those leopard panties. But try not to think about her guzzling multiple cocktails through a straw and one of my favorite steakhouses. She wanted to meet again but I declined.

 
Rockford

Wow.  Both of your stories sound like an episode from Rod Sterling's "Sugar Daddy Twilight Zone."  I hope to never go there.

I'd start off by saying "good on you" for not taking advantage of the situation, but always being a gentleman and getting SOBER consent is our stock in trade - at least on THIS board. So you did the right thing, of course, but that was expected.  

 
On one hand, I can see a nervous newbie SB deciding that some alcohol will help her relax enough to have sex with an older guy she just met an hour ago.  But obviously she over did it and left you to pay the price, so to speak.  On the other hand, I have more than one time had a date who turned out to be an alcoholic, and I only found out after her 3rd, 4th, or 5th shot.  Add to that the high cost of an upscale dinner - with no dessert - and you redefine blue balls in way we all fear.  

 
This is one of the reasons I no longer defer to dinners for M&G's.  Paying north of $300 (or more) and then not converting to BCD was happening too often for me. To be honest, the other reason I now prefer short coffee M&G's is that as much as 40% of my POT's are under 21. Not a humble brag (ok, sort of a humble brag), but a legit challenge when you want to date a POT who isn't old enough to drink, but is old enough to give consent.  

 
Still the silver lining for you I see in your stories is that you seem to have a pretty good record of getting a M&G and more with Asian POT's. I don't know if that is an aspect of your market area - DC, NY, etc. - while I am in Los Angeles, or if your profile just checks all the right boxes for that demographic. I have 3 Asian SB's in my rotation now, but that took years to develop.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

So sorry this happened to you, but major props for the way you handled the situation.  I've encountered 2 alcoholic SBs (that I know of) in my career so far.  One requested that I provide a bottle of wine each date, which she drank most of.  I was too dumb to see there might be a problem until she wrecked her car on the way home from one of our dates.  The other was much more tragic.  I had zero clue she had a problem with alcohol, never asked me for it, never showed any signs whatsoever.  Until she landed in the hospital after one particularly bad binge and died from alcohol poisoning a month later.  I'm still trying to deal with the grief.

HTC, I just carefully re-read your post.

 
First of all, you deserve some acknowledgement from at least one of us for her PITCHER OF BEER with A BAG OF ICE IN IT where she CONSUMED THE BEER WITH A STRAW. Hell, nobody else has those three things on their bingo card. Bro-woe to you.

 
Second, "post blueberry expansion" is hilarious.

 
Rockford

I appreciate the acknowledgment of gentlemanliness, HTC.

 
I've tried coffee M&Gs but they don't work as well for me as dinner dates.  

 
1. I travel a lot (3 weeks a month?) to different cities. My schedule can be unpredictable even one week out. So I often have little time to lock down BCD. I need a girl who is likely to go BCD at first FTF contact. I can't afford M&Gs that don't translate immediately to pussy.
2. I haven't figured out how to consistently transition a coffee M&G to BCD on the same date. I get a peck and a promise to meet again, but I'm about to leave the city.
3. Dinner dates, for me, are FAR more reliable for converting first FTF contact to pussy same night. Often overnight. (It requires, in my experience, significant, focused DMing beforehand, which may give the girl what she thinks she gets on a coffee M&G.) She really likes the dinner date (unless she's a pro lurking on SA).
4. I truly enjoy a dinner date with a new girl. By the time we meet I almost always know she will be a good conversationalist (stories in this thread contain the exception). A waiter or waitress fawns over us, sees what I'm up to, and does everything to make her feel special and make me look good. By the time we leave, SB is wet or expecting to be wet soon.

 
As for Asians, the stories in this thread skew the reality. My best LT arrangements have been with Asians but I don't think I'm attractive to Asians in any particular way.

Dodged a bullet....good luck to you next time!

In regard to the bag of ice in the beer, I remember Hooters  placing a bag of ice in pitchers of beer in the 90s. Maybe they still do. In regard to her using a straw in beer, you get a better buzz. Not that I’ve ever tried this. Lol. But, it’s been a few years. Thanks for the story.

I had to make frequent business trips to Irvine last year. Unable to get into the K-girl scene in OC without giving up PII, I decided to try my luck on Seeking. A 23 yr old Asian girl from the San Gabriel Valley agreed to drive over to Irvine for dates whenever I was in town. Her profile pics on SA were GND, no red flags surfaced during our text communications. Our first date was going to start with dinner at a Japanese curry place (her choice) located in a strip mall in Irvine. It's one of those Asian food themed malls not far from UCI. I got there early to scope out the place and quickly realized that I stood out both for my age and my clothing. I probably had 30 years on the other diners, and my work uniform of a sports jacket paired with button down shirt, jeans, and nice shoes made me look like Carlton to the other diners.

Already feeling uncomfortable, I was mortified when POT showed in anime costume. I'm talking full-on Sakura Pink with knee high pink boots on six inch platform heels, pink hair, glitter on face, glowing wrist bands etc.. She was coming straight from a cosplay event. Self-awareness wasn't one of her core skills. The best part was when she finally felt the stares of the people seated around us at dinner and asked me "do I look like a prostitute hanging out with a much older guy?".

Did I bail on the date or the arrangement? No. As Coach Prime said (video in link), I had to ignore the opinions of the diners around me. I did ask the POT to dress more conservatively going forward. To her credit, she did.

-- Modified on 7/23/2024 9:44:06 PM

I lived in San Jose/Silicon Valley for 9 years and was on Seeking most of that time.

 
One of lesser-known facts about that town was that in addition to being the Tech-center of the interwebz, it is also home to the annual FurCon hosted at the DoubleTree hotel a block away from the San Jose Airport. My job had me driving past this hotel daily, so I always got a kick out of the outrageously hawt babes in full furry costume. As you may suspect, the majority of these girls, maybe 65%, were slim, Asian and young, maybe 18-28. I was always amused and turned on by how each participant seemed bent on being more sexy-slutty-almost-naked than the next girl.  

 
But I never found an angle to connect with any of them.  I went so far as to go to the hotel bar (like I was staying there for business) and try to chat up any babes in the area. No joy.  

 
I suppose if I had a M&G where she showed up in full anime costume, I'd probably find my dick making a 2x allowance offer before she even said "Hello." LOL  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

How many of them are there to fuck in the costume or just look like a ho and take pics for instagram?  And get lots of attention from lonely guys?

From what I've heard, there are a lot of people there who take being a Furry very seriously. Seriously enough to hook up AND fuck in costume.   Maybe they need a bit to drink, or smoke to get into the mood. But if I ever got an option, my fantasy would be to take off the Chun Li costume, not play-fuck a Smurf, or whatever....  

 
But that's me...  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

This is a long time ago now, over 10 years, back in my SD4Me days, before SA. [What happened to that site? - used to be popular]

One of my first SBs was a Korean woman, early 30s - very cute, slim, trim. She spoke accented but passable English, and was very easy to get along with. I liked her. Her cover story was that she was a nursing student, but I suspected from our first BCD date that she was actually working in or formerly worked in a Korean spa, or even with a Korean agency (but maybe those girls never have any time off, haha). That suspicion was due to her bedroom routine - mouthwash, shower together, BJ in shower, then bed. Not that I have ever been to an Asian spa, but I do know what their standard routine is. Other than that routine there was no other pro feel. No clock watching or "these are my rules",  in fact the opposite, as she used to whisper in my ear that I could do anything. No one else has ever said that to me!

Anyway, I am discreet and always want to keep a low profile, so from the start of my SD adventures, I always specifically asked POTs/dates to dress and behave discreetly - not to attract attention.  First two BCD dates with my Korean friend went well, no issues, and great sex. But for our third date, in a "nice" and popular LA hotel, what did she turn up in but a pink, very short and skimpy dress. It looked for all the world like what a Korean agency or spa girl would wear - and undoubtedly was.  I was mortified. We had already agreed we would have dinner before heading to the bedroom, and I was hungry, so we went to the restaurant. Our previous visits we had looked like a businessman and a younger associate or assistant. Not this time - I could physically feel all the eyes staring at us. I wanted to sink into earth, and could not wait to get out of there. One of the things that I noticed and annoyed me is that my friend did not seem to notice the attention she was generating.  

We went to the bedroom, and again had great sex, but my heart was no longer in it. That was the last time I saw her, but I do miss her whispered "you can do anything"...