Hello LG, thanks to you (and others) for your thoughtful response on my earlier question on 'Body Types'.

My persistent unease about this "hobby" is the fact that so many "providers" are actually used and controlled by other people (pimps, nefarious agencies, relatives, etc.) - quite often against their will or they are desperate women who are feeding a habit or are desperately poor. It's one thing to visit a provider who is entirely independent, has chosen this profession willingly, and makes a good income. It's another thing entirely to pay some poor, coerced young girl 50 bucks for sex with 90% of that 50 bucks going to some nasty pimp.

In reading your advice you generally offer a "go get 'em lads" sort of message. What sort of advice would you offer "hobbyists" to do the right thing when they "go get 'em" and what sorts of community action (and well-meaning hobbyists should lead this) do you think should happen to combat the dark side of this 'the world's oldest profession'?

Dear Pogo71,

Very good questions! Oftentimes, I ask women the same questions when they buy "fashionable, must-have" shoes or clothing made in China - are they aware that these "trendy" goods oftentimes are produced by more or less enslaved FEMALE workers? Or how about buying the latest Bratz doll for your little daughter, made by female sweatshop workers somewhere in Southern China? The list goes on. I also wouldn't advocate buying diamonds - and that's not just because of "conflict diamonds," but also because diamond mines create gigantic scars in our environment and the lives of miners are heinous to begin with. Or how about just eating meat? I would never do it, among other things because of what goes on with workers in meatpacking plants..read Eric Schlosser's "Fast Food Nation," and you'll see what I mean. So the list goes on, and on, and on...

The answer to this is that it's a judgment call on your part. Unless you specifically ask each and every provider why and how she got into the business prior to arranging your encounter, there will be no way you can ascertain that you are not contributing to the further use and abuse of someone who isn't working out of her own free will.

But...here goes my personal bias in the matter: I probably would never visit an AMP. Who knows how these gals got into the country and under what circumstances? Who knows what sort of conditions they labor under? Maybe I'm naive, but the whole idea of women who don't seem very assimilated into our society doing sex work for low fees; an authoritarian "mama-san" who runs the show; an assembly line of men daily...that just can't be good for any woman's health.

Now, contrast this with an escort in her late 20s and beyond; who charges $500 per hour and more; who lives or operates out of a nice building or her own home; who has some formal education or schooling; and, who SEEMINGLY has chosen commercial sex work for a variety of reasons only known to herself..but who enjoys and is able to communicate with you beyond just the sexual..Would I go see her? Yes, probably...and feel OK about the fact that she's driving a nicer car than I am driving, and taking vacations way over my budget. She works hard and she deserves whatever comes her way. Now if she chooses to give away 50% of her income to a boy-toy, or to Harry Winston, well, there ain't much I'm going to be able to do about it.

Another thing to avoid is providers who actively use drugs during the session, or who seem intoxicated or drugged out upon meeting with you. Pay the cancellation fee [or the whole amount if necessary] and bow out. And maybe point out, gently, that doing drugs while working is not a good idea and you don't condone it. Feeding someone's addiction is not a good idea. Your leaving is probably not going to stop her from continuing, but at least you're not an enabler in the moment.

As to what you can do, community-action wise: Do NOT go to foreign countries and condone the sex trade because you want to spend less money on screwing; if you do, it's guaranteed that you'll indirectly support a system which keeps women as possessions and chattel. There is a huge overflow of women from Laos into Thailand; kidnappings of girls, families selling their youngest daugthers for their virginity, etc. is very common. Just don't engage in that type of trade, and you've already come a long way.

As to closer to home: don't pick up street prostitutes, because chances are they DO have pimps and are enslaved to drugs.

One last comment: when I say "go get'em lads," I generally mean "do your homework on TER, find a lovely person and have a good time." I am not trying to 'shill' [luv that discussion-board wurd, hehe] for our website, but quite frankly, it's a darn good way for meeting women who have CHOSEN to link their websites, services etc. to the site. Meeting with a reputable provider you found through TER definitely will minimize your chances of indirectly contributing to the dereliction of a sex worker, particularly since the reviews are good indications of her lucidity, mood and affect during the session.

Buy organic and save the cows,
the Love Goddess

-- Modified on 7/20/2007 4:58:57 PM

I've never visited street girls or overseas brothels or anything like that. Aside from that, you can't do anything other than any other citizen. There will always be girls with pimps and girls feeding addictions. You can't clean up the problems of the world. I don't see street girls and suggest others don't either, for a lot of reasons.  

That's great advice, LG, especially about the AMPs. I don't know if most people know the ugly truth about many (most?) AMPs. There was an Asian strip club in Montreal (now closed) where the girls begged guys to help them get out because their passports were seized and made to work in the club.

I don't doubt that some Asian women are exploited and treated badly, but I also know that this is not universally true.
I know because I have had a ten year relationship with a Korean massage parlor worker whom I have seen approximately once ever other month during this whole time.

We have spent time together on mulitple night stays in NYC and Boston and I have also visited her NYC apartment on several occasions where she and her roommates have feted me to home made Korean banquets (You haven't lived until you've experienced that.)

She is very lucky to have a green card and is treated very well, owns a car and even takes ESL lessons.  She has a large family over here and has enough time to enjoy going to discos (I tried but I'm too old for that stuff

True, if she has to go out to work in Ohio for a few months, she does as told, but she loves the work she does and all and all she fairs much better than her relatives back in Seoul who are making those high priced dolls we buy our kids over here.

Just thought I'd balance the discussion a bit here.

LG, you're a woman after my own heart!! Yup, I'm one of those guys who tries to buy local as far as possible, is vegan, encourages boycotts of places like Wal-Mart, worries all the time about what we humans are doing to each other and to the planet. It's this biology that gets in the way - all those hormones and the conflicts between what we profess to believe and practice as "civilized" human beings and the imperatives of our DNA driving us in all sorts of other ways (Carl Sagan said something about that). Thanks again for a great answer!

-- I have seen the enemy and it is us

Excellent discussion.  In the region where I live, I would guess the AMP quality ranges widely.  The ones I used to frequent were neither squalid nor sordid, the women generally attractive and presentable.  The basic fee ranged from $60-80, with expected tips from $60 - 100, often negotiated in advance.  I don't know what the split was, but I assume most of the tip went to the provider.  Of course, she could be paying off some exorbitant fee for transportation, etc here, and possibly working against her will, although there were no indications in my experience.  Some come for a few months and return to their home countries.   I've thought about this issue a lot, and I personally don't feel I have contributed to anyone's degradation.  I admit there is ambiguity and uncertainty, and probably always will be, and that still bothers me.

I have to admit, that's one reason why I don't visit AMSs. That, and it's often a mystery as to who you're going to get and what kind of services.

I've met a lot of women who move in and out of AMPs, go back to Korea and come back; they go on vacation and then return, or move to a different city. Hard to say if they are being 'exploited' or assisted in a country they don't know well. But I don't see any evidence they are 'slaves.'

Economically, if you calculate it out I think these girls can take home as much or more than the average escort. Assume they get the full (let's say $100) tip for the session .. compare that to the escort who collects $300 and has to split 50-50 with agency and pay some of expenses. I don't have any inside info but I think these AMP girls are not much different from the other escorts.