First of all NN, sorry your sugar is ending with her. But that's how it goes in the bowl, it lasts until it's over. I suspect your agreement to furnish her with an apartment is rare among SDs, at least among those on this forum. It does add a significant layer of complexity to ending an arrangement. Since your name is on the lease, you can't simply stop dating her and be done with it. I think that's why most of us prefer a simple ppm system. It works great as long as both parties are happy and is easy to stop whenever things end. I've never provided an apartment, but my messiest learning experience was buying a car for a SB. It was a disaster! Not only did she fail to hold up her end of the bargain, which was to have been dates with me every 2 weeks in lieu of car payments, but the car was registered in my name so when she got arrested and taken to jail for a DWI, I got in trouble myself! Never again!
After nearly 4 years I ended my relationship with my main SB. We've been through a lot together but she crossed some lines and lashed out at me when she was caught.
She didn't cheat. It was something stupid and small. But her behavior about it has been too much. She did something dumb. When I asked her to fix it she refused. Two months later she still will not and only argues. I let her get too entitled. Gave her too many chances. Let her excuses fly. I put my foot down.
This month, she had to pay her rent. In full. I told her she could keep the apartment till the lease runs out. But she is now responsible for all bills. Utilities, insurance, and rent. If she is late on any of it I'm kicking her out. We will see how she behaves after this. I haven't decided if I'll take her back or not. But there better be a lot of changed behaviors for me to consider it.
First of all NN, sorry your sugar is ending with her. But that's how it goes in the bowl, it lasts until it's over. I suspect your agreement to furnish her with an apartment is rare among SDs, at least among those on this forum. It does add a significant layer of complexity to ending an arrangement. Since your name is on the lease, you can't simply stop dating her and be done with it. I think that's why most of us prefer a simple ppm system. It works great as long as both parties are happy and is easy to stop whenever things end. I've never provided an apartment, but my messiest learning experience was buying a car for a SB. It was a disaster! Not only did she fail to hold up her end of the bargain, which was to have been dates with me every 2 weeks in lieu of car payments, but the car was registered in my name so when she got arrested and taken to jail for a DWI, I got in trouble myself! Never again!
Thanks Sweet. It hurts. I've met her family. We've discussed marriage even. But. She's young and dumb. And my patience with her being a child came to an end.
She literally just did something dumb. Easily fixable. All she had to do was say sorry and fix it. Instead, she's been lying about it for weeks. I even told her several times, I know you are lying, just fix it.
As far as rent, the deal is simple. I come over when I want. I have a key. We have consistent dates. Great sex. If she can't keep a weekly schedule then we do full weekends together or she starts paying a portion of the rent. If she keeps slacking, she gets booted. If she trashes the place she gets arrested.
Sorry to hear this, NN. Tough letting a long term one like this go. You get attached after so much intimacy, regardless of the circumstances. Can't be easy for you, but rest assured it's the right thing to do.
I think the lesson here is much as Sweetman has echoed and Herb as well. Things just don't work out well when we 'barter' things like rent and cars to these gals in exchange for pussy. They just aren't responsible enough in most cases to handle commitments of any sort over the long term. This is one of the reasons many of them do sugar. They can't handle life without the constant financial support of an SD and it always goes south at some point.
Hell, it's tough enough just getting them to show up on time and be reliable.
Same goes for advancing money, paying their bills, co-signing and so on. It will almost never work out to your benefit.
PPM is the only way to go. Do NOT let the erratic behavior slide as it only gets worse. You have to be a diligent taskmaster, fair but firm and recognize the shit tests as soon as they appear.
NN, time to move on from this one with a hard earned lesson learned.
IMHO, Netnoy is an experienced, savvy and knowledgeable player in the SB/SD universe. He knows exactly what he is getting into by these arrangements. He just wants to let us know what is going on in these endeavors.
Comfort is well, comforting. But, staying in a bad situation for the sake of simplicity doesn't help either of you. She certainly won't learn from the experience.
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