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The Erotic Highway

Damn that missing edit button!
SolaLove See my TER Reviews 7906 reads
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I guess I shoulda' just not posted with an alias to begin with if I was going to toughtlessly out it in my reply lol!  


ALovelyLady9859 reads

Dear Love Goddess,

I've been sharing time with a friend who is experiencing RE, apparently as the result of hard and fast masturbation with very little intercourse.  Of course, this opinion was arrived at after many questions and giving the standard disclaimers to have a full work up by a medical professional to rule out physical reasons this may be happening.

After I gave the advice to let his nervous system adjust by not stimulating himself, he asked me if there was any scientific evidence showing how and why this might effective.  At first I just laughed because, of course, most people will ignore that advice and look for any reason to avoid pleasuring themselves... but then I started thinking, really, is there?!  I've spent years studying different healing modalities and realize that sometimes the things I believe fully are old wives tales with minimal scientific support.  Is this one of them?  I honestly do not know.  Do you have any links I can send to my friend about this specific method of trying to move past RE?

Also, when the time is over, I obviously have my own plan... but do you have any good recommendations as to what I can do to have the most positive first play date?

Thanks for your time and your insite!

xoxo,
A provider who really cares for her friends

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Love Goddess7217 reads

Dear ALovelyLady,

Well if pointing to the responses of yours truly doesn't work - you can do a search under "retarded ejaculation" or "RE" and go back about 700 days or so - then how about the good old U.S. Government? Dunno if that's trustworthy enough for your friend, but there it is; delayed ejaculation, with "conditioning caused by unique or atypical masturbation patterns." What is meant by "atypical" is really a nicer way of saying 'overdoing it without counterbalancing the sexual experience by engaging with a partner.' If that's not enough, then do a search on "RE and masturbation." There's plenty out there.

It's not about avoiding to pleasure oneself, it's about doing only that and getting into a rut. And yes, indeed, it's about situational habituation, etc. Breaking one's patterns is difficult but most effective.

If your friend can possibly trust a sexologist here, just tell him that I recommend the "no mas masturbation" plan - 30 days of no self-pleasuring while consorting with as many women as one's mood [and wallet] may afford. I've got several clients in my private practice on this method and yes, it is working.

Your second question is a bit unclear to me. "When the time is over," you have your own plan. What does this mean? A positive play date? With whom? The client? Someone else when the time is over? I'm sorry, but this one completely eludes me. If you could please be more clear about the significance of this question, I'd be very happy to answer...

Have a great week,
the Love Goddess

-- Modified on 1/28/2009 6:15:56 PM

Related Link: The National Institutes of Health - the government's take on masturbation and delayed ejaculation

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SolaLove8410 reads

I've done lots of searching and start to get frustrated with the ***many*** sources out there.  I was specifically looking for information on the "no mas maturbation" plan.
; )

As to when the time is over, yes, we're planning a positive play date with him for next month... with no pressure, though admitted, high hopes.

: )

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SolaLove7907 reads

I guess I shoulda' just not posted with an alias to begin with if I was going to toughtlessly out it in my reply lol!  


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mrfisher7446 reads

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Love Goddess7393 reads

That information resides the anecdotal database of my old noggin'! As to statistical information or research articles on if RE has been resolved with the "no mas" plan, I haven't come across any. Part of doing such research - as you can imagine - is establishing proper conditions, which in this day and age is very difficult, what with grants being affected by political ideology etc. Since this involves having some sort of reporting by an additional sex partner, those who engage with more than one individual may have difficulty involving said people in research. Alas, we seem to worry more about disease prevention and longitudinal studies involving "long-term couples." As for college students, oy vey, no university wants to fund actual sex studies, and certainly not RE, which doesn't seem to be a huge issue among those 18-24, LOL.

All I can tell you is that those who have followed the plan have been very successful - if that indeed is what has derailed their natural ejaculatory pattern. So your guy will just have to trust this clinician's word and try it.

A positive play date - well my dear, you are the courtesan and I'm sure you have something fabulous in mind!

When you got it, flaunt it ;-)
the Love Goddess

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xc222ea8090 reads

If I could just chirp in here as a guy . . . I think one thing to realize is that the masturbation may not be a straightforward act of sexual release but a compulsion. To me, one indicator would be this guy's age. I know everyone differs, but there's no question that as I've gotten older my need to release pent of juices has diminished considerably. But you can easily get to the point where masturbation is a lot more complicated than just sex. It can be a way of relieving stress, it can have a lot of guilt tied up in it, and it sounds in his case that there might even be a masochistic element. There's certainly an element of repetition.

So when he tried to defend his behavior in the face of your suggestion, you really want to just say "duh." It's so obvious that excessive masturbation makes other forms of sex more difficult. But why the defense on his part? It sounds like he's pretty attached to this behavior.

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