I'm sorry, thefuzzbuster, but...

this is such a "made-up" problem with such arbitrary factors that I find the first question almost disingenuous. It implies that your status as a BFE is A UNIVERSAL FACT, and that this must somehow be dealt with in order not to "hurt these girls." Did it occur to you that the provider who was offering her deeply rooted analysis of you, the client, was laying it on just a little thick?

To flip this around, I can GUARANTEE you that there are plenty of providers out there who WON'T find you attractive beyond your status as a nice client, and who WON'T have the slightest desire to consort with you beyond the contracted time/fee for service.

What you need to do is to raise your b.s. detector just a little higher so that YOU won't be under the impression that every provider out there who flatters you, gives you compliments in the moment, etc. wants to have a relationship with you. That's a very old dilemma that gets processed periodically on this board - client starts imagining that he has to fend off so-and-so, just because she suggested that they should "hang out more," or perhaps do social things off the clock [while he still pays for sexual services, of course.] So the short answer to this "problem" is very simple: pay for play, and if someone wants to "get involved," simply do not take her calls [ever heard of dialing for dollars, buddy?] and avoid further contact. Hurting them? Please. That's George Clooney territory and I can guarantee you that you're not there yet, despite your 7/10 rating (an arbitrary, made-up scale for clients, very interesting quite frankly.)

Your second question is slightly more realistic, although I'm not sure who you're talking about - the provider who gave you a 7/10 or someone else? How to start "on the right foot?" Well, since it's supposed to be a "civvie" relationship, then how about DON'T PAY HER FOR SEX, ever. Start going Dutch, or at least let her pay 1/3rd of the time - if you're dating a successful provider, she can afford to treat you with a few Franklins now and then. And above all, don't get involved in her job. Just realize that you're with someone who fucks other people for a living, but that it has very little to do with the feelings she has for you. If you can do that, the rest will probably sort itself out, at least in the beginning.

Hmmm again....sorry, but we need to have a TER icon for smirking or at least a face with raised eyebrows,
The Love Goddess

"That these women meet so many guys that range from barely decent to assholes to scary freaks." I don't know what kind of women you are seeing, but this is just not true for myself or for any girl I have met (in the $300-100/hr price range). Most of the men we deal with are nice people...not perfect, but not "assholes" or "scary freaks." But, many clients hold this assumption - that they are different from the others, who they imagine as a bunch of derelicts or a Fugly parade. When a client says something like that to me, I will respond in the same way that your friend did - reassure the client that yes, he is much nicer than the rest, that he is the best looking, and DEFINITELY that he is the best client, by far, in bed. HA!

And this: "when they encounter someone that gives them a BFE, it's like a honey trap." Ummmm, maybe only two or three clients in 3 years of escorting, have NOT wanted to provide a BFE. That is why there is such a demand for GFE.

So, by being halfway decent-looking, and providing a BFE, you are the stereotypical client of a GFE provider. You only set yourself apart by making such ridiculous statements, lol. Yes, as LG said, your friend was "laying it on thick." You'd be surprised what a huge part of our job consists of stroking our BFE's egos. Reality check here!

Had to chuckle at this one! I'm sure you mean well and are a very nice client, by all means keep that up

LG,

I know there's plenty of instances of clients falling for their ATF. But what about the reverse?

I'm in my late 40's and the last couple of providers I've seen are late 20's early 30's and fairly new to the hobby. I was dicussing this with another provider in the same age range who is not new to the hobby. She knows that I've dated a couple of providers and due geographical issues we drifted apart but maintained our frienship (probably more like FWB). So she's laid it out the following way:

I'm attracted to young beautiful women (personally, I find beauty in most women and have no problem communicating that discovery) and unfortunately not a model myself. She rated me a 7/10 on the TER scale. It seems when the date is over, they've been the one to initially begin communicating and wanting to see me OTC.

She knows me well and said that since my preference are GFE women and that from her experience with me, she knows that I'm a BFE. That this is where the problem lies.

That these women meet so many guys that range from barely decent to assholes to scary freaks, that when they encounter someone that gives them a BFE, it's like a honey trap. I told her I couldn't turn off the BFE, it's just who I am. I'm non-judgemental and not the type to hold a girl's past against her as well.

So my question is:
1. How do I hobby and not hurt these girls? I don't want to just reject them and turn them bitter. That does no one any good.

2. Now that I'm done roaming the planet. If I do decide to enter a LTR civie relationship. How do we start it on the right foot given the circumstances that brought us together?

Thanks in advance LG

I've already had a few "been there, done that" experiences, and got burned for my troubles.

If you want to ever "start out on the right foot", I suggest a long, hard objective look at the situation you are in.

So…..your problem is that your BFE is a “honey trap”, and it’s driving providers to fall in love with you? And, you’re worried that rejecting them will turn them bitter?  

And, you want to know how to ‘start on the right foot’ with a relationship with one of these fallen providers (given the circumstances that brought you together)?

This feels like on of those situations in which I put a tasty treat on the floor for my cat, and point to it. And all he does is keep staring at my finger.

I'm only a 5/10 although they all tell me I'm a 10/10!!!! LMAO

Sorry, I'm not normally a dick but I couldn't help it this time. I just found the whole post a little too funny. Remember this is their job and the main goal being business preservation.

Now I believe you're partly right about some of the clients they see being.......well undesirable to put it nicely, I don't know that I buy the asshole and freak part of that statement. Although you won't hear many ladies back you up, remember (business preservation) that would not be good for business if they said that.

Now I call BS on the rest of your post. I know client/provider relationships do happen and work on occasions but it is extremely rare. Most providers are not looking for anything other than an envelop from you, or anyone else for that matter.  Most established upscale ladies are very well equipped to handle this profession so I really don't think you have to worry about turning them bitter.

This is just the way I see it but who knows.......

Thanks LG for taking a rolled up newspaper and swatting Fuzzbuster on the snout.  I love this line:
"I couldn't turn off the BFE, it's just who I am" (oh yeah!).  Why is Fuzzbuster wasting time AND MONEY on providers when he could be running his BFE sex-magic on the rest of the female population.  You know, those crazy mixed up girls who don't charge for sex (they typically fall into two odd categories, wives and girlfriends).  

Can we ban the following made-up questions:

1.  I'm so hot that providers fall in love with me.  Please help.
2.  My dick is so big that I don't know what to do. Please help.
3.  Combo play:  I'm so hot and my dick is so big that providers go crazy, like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.  Please help before a provider boils my pet rabbit.  

rage away,  --z

and that the ladies did indeed enjoy your company enough to explore the idea of a caring relationship with you. Regardless of the answers you've gotten so far, it happens.

If it happens, treat it just like you would treat such a relationship in the civvy world. If you're also interested, go for it. If not, then be honest and tell the lady that you're not interested in that type of relationship. You're an adult- communicate like one.

As for turning them bitter- don't flatter yourself there. There are plenty more where you came from. The ladies will get over you just as they do in civvy relationships.

Are you saying that in the P4P world, ladies are never interested in establishing a caring relationship with any of their clients?

 Wormwood:  I'll answer your question with another question:  Think about the people you love & care about (family & friends).  Do you charge them to spend time with you?  Why not?

 My Magic 8 Ball tells me you're heading for trouble.  If you're looking for a 'caring relationship' via P4P, then you'll get what you deserve.  I have an ATF that's really sweet, she often spends off-the-clock time with me.  My guess is you've found someone like that.   But my ATF would disappear quickly if I couldn't pay her.  Remember that.  --z

In P4$, that caring should pretty much be limited to caring that her client had a good time, and the client should care that he was a good client who will remain in the provider's good graces.

It is the extent of caring that is often the issue on these boards.

"Hurting them? Please. That's George Clooney territory and I can guarantee you that you're not there yet"

 
LOL I can guarantee if Clooney wasn't rich he would struggle as much as the average guy
in the dog park.
Maybe the OP is rich and his providers know.
Perhaps the OP is TDK, and in comparison, to his providers,Clooney looks like a tired runt.
 There is no way of knowing what type of provider he seeks out since he used a alias.There is also no way of knowing how many providers he has seen. If the providers are truly contacting him after the fact for OTC there
"might" be a connection she feels towards him.
Contrary to popular belief, there are many providers who are extremely lonely and are
actively looking for a special friendship with someone.
Many could very well only be three out of a hundred.If the OP got lucky or unlucky depending on POV with his first few,the law of averages will soon set him back down in the real world.
I have met a couple desperate providers who harassed me for OTC after our appt.  I know they are out there. For the curious,I did not
review them,nor would I repeat for free.
I admit they were not 9's by any longshot and IMO they seemed unstable.
Some guys enjoy unstable,not me.
Personally I would be disappointed if a provider gave me a 7 rating.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I realize you can look up his review records. If he has more than five reviews, my view,
he made the whole thing up.

LG"To flip this around, I can GUARANTEE you that there are plenty of providers out there who WON'T find you attractive beyond your status as a nice client, and who WON'T have the slightest desire to consort with you beyond the contracted time/fee for service."

TRUE TRUE TRUE.. I will add that goes for EVERYONE,no matter who they think they are,both in and outside the hobby, including George Clooney

LMAO!!! I know these guys exist but REALLY... Get a reality check, please.  Your delusions of grandeur are out of control.

I actually had a provider asked me if I wanted to be her girlfriend for real after seeing her 3X.  
I was in my early 30s and it actually scared me that I didn't go back to see her.
Unless there's no money involved or she actually paid you,  LG is right  - your BS meter needs to be checked.

"I actually had a provider asked me if I wanted to be her girlfriend for real after seeing her 3X."

  I would also be frightened if she wanted me to be her GF . Have you seen the size of some of the Strap Ons in the Adult shops? Perhaps if she was extremely desirable, and would agree to only shop for toys at the mini marts, and guarantee absolutely no supersizing.
Cheers

"If you can do that, the rest will probably sort itself out, at least in the beginning."
In the beginning? What happens in the middle and is there a successful end? Is it ever possible to successfully date a provider?
I am 'dating' a girl . I have a key to her house. Can come and go when I like. We hang. She cooks. She tells me she loves me. We have mind blowing sex. She tell me she loves me. That she doesnt make love with anyone else but 'only has sex'. Yadda Yadda Yadda. However I am having a difficult time. I cannot separate the sex she has with other guys from the 'love' she makes with me. I keep thinking that the same mouth that tells me she loves me, had another penis in it a few hours back and the vagina that i'm licking had a cock or another tongue in it.
These relationships are very tough and not for the fainthearted. She has sex with other guys, rationalizing that its business. But its not. She enjoys it. She comes. Would I get the same consideration from her if I was having sex - 'its only sex dear and I love YOU' - with another woman? I dont think so.