I also would like to add that.... if the lady was not giving me a BJ or when we were not kissing that I would get "soft" really fast. But when she was BJing me or when we were kissing I got hard, but I was not hard to my full potential. Then when I get to putting the cover on, I start to get soft before I even put the cover in all the way. Then I try to penetrate, it would get soft, and I cannot go through because it was too soft to penetrate.
I have read a lot about my problem, and I also did a search about this problem on these boards, and on google.
From what I read I am thinking this is a psychological problem because I do fine when I am at home with "righty" and "lefty", where I am comfortable.
There are so many things that could be wrong but I was wondering what your input might be, Love Goddess.
When I first had my first experience with a provider I did not cum.
Recently I met up with another provider and I did not cum again. I even felt that the second session was more intimate. The lady was so wonderful, she tried to help by doing all kinds of things! Still I did not cum.
Next time I will try not to jack off for 1 week instead of 2 days before the scheduled day.
What could be the problem now LG? I can easily cum if I jack off watching a porno. You think in my next meeting that I should have a porno playing while I am with the provider or something?
Don't "jack off" for at least a week, possibly two. I really mean this. Stop the porno, stop the jacking off and BREAK YOUR PATTERNS. No porno playing with the provider, just try to be as natural as possible.
Try again - no jacking off, no porno, stay off the pecker COMPLETELY until you see a provider.
I also would like to add that.... if the lady was not giving me a BJ or when we were not kissing that I would get "soft" really fast. But when she was BJing me or when we were kissing I got hard, but I was not hard to my full potential. Then when I get to putting the cover on, I start to get soft before I even put the cover in all the way. Then I try to penetrate, it would get soft, and I cannot go through because it was too soft to penetrate.
I have read a lot about my problem, and I also did a search about this problem on these boards, and on google.
From what I read I am thinking this is a psychological problem because I do fine when I am at home with "righty" and "lefty", where I am comfortable.
There are so many things that could be wrong but I was wondering what your input might be, Love Goddess.
Dear Zaraki, My input is that you should stop masturbating to porn and ONLY interact sexually with live females. Masturbating without condoms (obviously) is such a different experience from interacting sexually with live females, that the change of activity can lead to interruptions in the natural flow of the sexual response cycle.
You may need to retrain yourself. Stop masturbating for 14 - 30 days while meeting with as many females as you wallet can afford. Avoid porn. Concentrate on LIVE ACTION. Don't push yourself. Let her stimulate you with condomless handjobs, BBBJ (if your risk tolerance allows it) and then build up to penile-vaginal sex with condom.
If anxiety with unfamiliar providers is the case, then keep repeating with the same provider until you get things going. Of course this means a provider you are attracted to...hopefully that won't be too hard.
Follow this advice and see what happens, the Love Goddess
To avoid the interruption of putting the cover on, you could have the lady use a female condom, inserting it a little before time for penetration. That way you can go straight the BJ to penetration while still erect.
You can try to masturbate with her first. Ask her to caress herself too. Once you are close to the point of no return, put a condom on and go inside her. You'll probably cum in a few seconds after that, but it's a good start, and mutual masturbation can be fun too..
I already tried that. Even my own hand did not do much. At my home, where I feel more comfortable, it does wonders! I was trying so hard that my hands started to ache, lol. And I thought masturbating was a healthy habit =/
I've had the same type of thing happen and had to finish by hand...I'm only 35. the first time was alittle nervousness/feeling of having to releave myself. the second however confused me because i was so comfortable and was completley erect the entire session...i think it was lack of sensitivity...could this be type of condom or another issue?
Or lack of familiarity with the provider, despite overt relaxation. Or masturbation as the main source of sexual outlet, thereby confounding the orgasm/ejaculation process when exposed to a live female. There could be a zillion reasons. One of the main ones - I believe - is that having sex during a specified time, for a specified time, for a specified amount of money (or other goods/services traded) can put so much unconscious pressure on someone, that s/he can totally clam up sexually. I guess the most natural situation would be found in the Garden of Eden...naked man/woman, available at all times, no pressure, no hassle, no exchanges. Unfortunately, Adam and Eve screwed it up for the rest of us, and now we're banished to the sweat of our brows, painful childbirth, and taxes. I guess that's why so many people do drugs...to relaaaax....and to somehow "have a good time."
Sorry about the puerile philosophy here, but I think you get my drift, the Love Goddess
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