of the effects of childhood physical abuse? (I don't think sexual abuse is an issue.)

Especially as a teenager I didn't have the world's greatest relationship with my father, but I don't think I ever suffered from anything that I would remotely call abuse. Thus, there is nothing in my own background to draw upon.

Someone I have known for about two years has just shared that she was physically abused by one of her parents. This is probably important, but I don't know what, if anything, I should do with the information. More data on the general effects of child abuse might help me to keep from doing anything incredibly stupid.

Dear Mathesar,

If you want to read something on the effects of childhood abuse, go to Google Scholar, type in "effects of childhood abuse" and watch the search engine go. There are hundreds, perhaps thousands of very good research articles on the subject.

If you just want to read some lay literature, anything by John Bradshaw will do, or why not Jean Jenson's book "Reclaiming your life." Many people who have been physically abused as children find it very useful and productive in their steps toward healing.

Hope your friend is OK,
The Love Goddess

Hi Mathesar,

I hope all is well for you honey.

And I really hope your friend is OK too!

I wasn't abused as a child myself. My father and mother were extremely loving and I never had to witness any type or form of abuse.

However....
My ex-husband was abused terribly by his father who also abused his mother as well. So I do know personally that sometimes it makes the person abusive in their own relationships/marriages. Heck, it's why I'm divorced now and need to supplement my income. Some people just grow up surrounded by it and think its the normal way for a relationship.

Anyways, I hope your friend is doing well.

Smooches, Lynn805

Most of the books seem to be self-help books aimed at the person who has been abused.

However, John Bradshaw's "Reclaiming Virtue: How We Can Develop the Moral Intelligence to Do the Right Thing at the Right Time for the Right Reason" looks interesting and I've decided to order it and give it a read. For now, I really just want to understand some of the issues and this looks like it might be helpful.

On thing that scared me a bit at first was the issue of co-dependency. However, based on reading http://www.nmha.org/go/codependency I don't think I fit the definition. Obviously, I can't be of much use to anyone else if I don't maintain a clear sense of my own identity and worth.

I think my friend will be OK. Time will tell.

Fortunately, I don't see any indications she is abusive in her own right nor do I see any signs of addiction of any kind. I think she will be OK.

Check out "Walking the Tiger" by Peter Levine and And Frederick, and see if that might be of interests. It is one of the most highly rated books on trauma. If you want a real in-depth analysis, Allan N. Schore's book, "Affect Dyregulation and Disorders of the Self," is very good. Probably not a book you'll read cover to cover, but will have sections that address your concerns.

"Affect Dysregulation and Disorders of the Self" is a bit expensive and may be technical enough to be over my head. I'm going to read the other two books I've ordered and then make a decision about it. Even if I don't order it now it is nice to know about it. Thanks again.

Huge study on adverse effects of childhood maltreatment came out not long ago.  If you want to read a bunch of things on general effects, then google "ACE study on childhood" and/or "Adverse Childhood Experiences study."