I have trouble poping and think it is related to masturbating to much.  I read LG comments on giving it up for 30 days and how that should improve your sensitivity.  My question is how the hell do you do that!  I had a appointment scheduled with a provider in 2 days and just had to cancel because I just couldn't wait that long to cum.  Please don't tell me to just have some self control, cause that doesn't help at all.  I have to cum at least three time a week or I'll go nuts.   Also can afford to see provider 3 times a week.  Thanks for your ideas and help.

Hello there, long_duck_dong,

Sometimes you just have to give up something to get something! Yup, it's a simple as that...even if the agony is temporarily unbearable.

It seems you have to make a choice - having sex with live females and no popping, or popping left and right with Rosy Palm. As for "going nuts," no, you won't...it just feels that way.

Now, you are saying that you "can afford to see provider 3 times a week," or is it a typo? Does it mean you CAN'T afford it? Is there a "civvie" wife or S.O. in the picture who could assist, or is that one out of the question as well?

I'm afraid it's your call, and it's a tough one. As to self control, you could always avoid any form of sexual stimuli and engage in thinking or doing other activities. What do you do when on the job? I mean, I'd really resent it if my lawyer was thinking sexual thoughts as he was preparing a pleading...or someone operating sensitive and dangerous machinery while thinking of boinking [or whatever sexual stimulus gets you off.] Distract yourself...young man? Or not so young?

The goal with the 30 days is to stay off the self-stim and engage sexually in as many live acts as possible. Once the popping starts happening, it may become a regular occurrence which won't be impacted by the occasional masturbatory experience. The trick is to break the cycle.

I guarantee that you won't go nuts. You may get a little testy [haha, great wurd rite here] or really feel those hormonal spikes in the morning, but mental illness...far from it. Try this one: put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it really hard every time you think about jerking off. I know it sounds silly, but it's worked for worse problems than yours. Staying off the dong for 2 days won't kill you or make you insane, honest. Keep a calendar, even a journal if you feel your mind is going. Create a no-jack-off zone on your computer and put whatever thoughts, feelings and non-sexual items into it. And please, rebook with that provider! The penis was made for going places, not hanging around like a slinky,lonely wreck around your loins!

You can do it, you can do it, you can do it,
the Love Goddess

I'm with you Long. Two days and I can't sleep.
Wives are no help, LG... why do you think all these guys are here??

i hear you Crane, it's frustrating!  the wife/SO never really comprehends the frustration that comes with an erect ding-dong through night...aka BlueBallz. they say..just go to sleep, you'll be fine in a few minutes.. sleepless nights my friend.

LDD,

I just did a Search on this board to find out the date I started. Back at the beginning, I see I wrote that it felt like 'cruel and unusual punishment' to ask a man to stop masturbating, similar to how you feel now.  

But then I figured out I wouldn't really be giving up that much - I'd be seeing real ladies for a while regularly instead.  I had a little money to spend, and thought it was worth this effort, and felt I could make the 'task' very enjoyable.  

The trick was/is: have a lot of provider visits and regard LG's challenge as fun.  Hobby just as often as you can, particularly at the beginning of your time period.  A real woman: what a great motivator for no masturbation for a while!

Well, I'm shocked to see how long it's now been.  I kinda lost count after 30 days. I thought I'd been going on 52 days - turns out it's 59 - I somehow missed counting one week.  

LG had originally mentioned, I think, trying this out for 45-60 days, and now I'm just one day away from her maximum.

The point is: sex with a real woman, not Rosy Palm, is so extremely delicious and different - it isn't really hard to wait at all.  You're giving up one real pleasure for a much better, stronger one. So, if you will, it's really not difficult, like withdrawing from an opiate, but just moving on to a more powerful, natural inclination.

I haven't kept records, but I'd guess I've had maybe 12-14 provider visits over that time period, plus 2 HJs from the wife (unfortunately, all she's capable of, which is why I hobby).  I guess that averages to maybe every four days, which at my ripe old age is more than enough.  This  was front-loaded at the beginning - maybe even other day at the start, then tapering off to maybe once a week now, near the end.

Now, to be honest with you, I actually have little or no desire to masturbate.  I've lost that compulsion.  I still have just as frequent sexual thoughts and fantasies, maybe more so than before, in fact....but *want* to wait to act on them with a real woman. When I'm alone and feel sexual urges, I just lie down and think about past visits and my next one.  I'll thrust, fully clothed, and enjoy those sensations very much.  But the hand never touches me - because I don't want it to.

I still absolutely must have sex with someone at least once a week, which is something, fortunately, I can afford out of some $ my wife doesn't see.

The experiment was worth every penny.  Granted, providers are less expensive in Boston than in many other cities.

And I have a wonderful nearby provider, a woman I respect a lot, who is very understanding. She's about half my age, but she went to the same graduate school I did, and we have a lot to talk about.  It's easier to make this kind of 'sacrifice', if you want to call it that, when you're building a real relationship with a woman. A paid professional relationship, yes, but also one with very personal aspects.

This relationship aspect of hobbying is very important - maybe not written about enough even here on this fine Board, and obvioiusly hardly ever even mentioned in Reviews. A provider and a client can become important to each other, and truly help each other. Yes, keeping the limits of the relationship in mind is important.  But, as another hobbyist, whom I esteem highly, has put it, "It's not just the sex.  It's the closeness."

I want to stress: LG's challenge is not difficult, if you can afford it (and/or have a willing wife/SO to help to some degree).  The frequent real sex is no threat, just a treat.  

I think this is one of the best investments I've ever made: one in myself. I really do feel better, in every respect, that I did before.

If you want to try it, just start.  You'll see - it is not difficult, but a real pleasure.

Good luck,

BG

PS.  If I ever had any doubts about LG's wisdom, this experience has sure dispelled them. I could have spent thousands in therapy to discover this happiness, but I've paid her nothing.  What a treasure she is!



-- Modified on 8/1/2007 4:15:51 AM

I had a similar problem, but the opposite.  I would cum "too soon."  Trained response because of masturbation.

I stopped jerking off, stopped Porn, and only had sex with the SO or a provider.  I am having better sex because of it.  I am not interested in Porn or jerking off anymore, because sex is great.

Also on the SO/Wife issue.  You can "practice" having great sex with the SO.  Practice doing it "exactly as you want."  As a result the SO will love it, and you will be better at sex, so when you visit a provider, you can be as great as you want to be.

Anyone ever experimented with the Fleshlight?  I have heard this also can solve this type of problem.  Guess it feels real close to the vagina.  Just another idea.

On june 26, LG gave me her standard cease and desist advice because of my performance anxiety. First of all, I think that both extremes are not true. long duck says that he can't stop masturbating and bostongreg says that it's not hard to stop. I think that for most men, age being a factor, the reality is somewhere in between. LG, I've done it. I haven't masturbated since June 26. What I have done is controlled my urges by occasionally rubbing my penis as if masturbating whenever I am aroused. If I feel I may cross the point of no return, I have the will power to stop, but I am 54, so I don't recommend this to a young guy.
Anyway, being able to see as many providers as bostongreg is just not realistic for the common guy. Even if I had the cash, I couldn't sneak that much money past my wife. I've only seen 3 providers in the 35 days. That's twice a week and I'm straining the budget even now to do that. When having sex with my wife, I sort of hold off from cumming so I keep the batteries charged for the next provider appointment. I do that because I want to make sure that I cum. The results? First of all, I don't feel like masturbating because I look forward to real sex with a provider. I always cum with a provider, but only by oral, because I still get too much performance anxiety to get hard enough to do anything else so far.

Will this ever change with time? I can't continue to see providers every two weeks, but will have to scale down to once every 1-2 months.

Hard to say, infomike,
You can only continue to experiment. Who knew that you would devise a new method for "rubbing," but not "rubbing one out?" Also, you may end up coming with your wife if the provider visits go down to once a month. Which isn't necessarily a bad idea...after all, she is your wife, LOL.

We're all proud of you!
the Love Goddess