I've been seeing my ATF every month for the last two years. Over time we've moved our sessions from hotels to her place, and have recently gone on a few public dates. I occasionally travel to Europe on business, and she also likes to travel to some of the same places. We are starting to talk about extending one of my business trips so that she could meet me there.

Some women (not that I blame them) are purely mercenary and this is job to them, nothing more and nothing less. A woman like that is most likely going to want her "daily rate" times how ever many days you are going to be together, minus some kind of "volume discount" but plus expenses of course.

I should probably clarify and state that I know her rates by hour and day. I'm mostly questioning if those rates will necessarily apply as written if I am covering all expenses. So maybe it's partly a paid vacation and partly a client date?

20 years or so, and like in your situation, I knew them all very well, and was sure we'd be copacetic together.

I had a few providers, with whom I have spent considerable time and money, interested in traveling with me to warm destinations in the winter. All each of them required is that I pay all travel related expenses only. All of these providers are bisexual so included in the travel expenses would be daily threesomes with a local working girl. Alas while I have had agreements in principle, the providers have all retired and/or ghosted so I haven't pulled this off yet. Still working on it.

My good friend JackDunphy has a wonderful course on "Negotiation".  You need to enroll BEFORE you spend another moment on this.

But what is up with your spelling lately?

Her travel arrangements. If she is then given GaG's advice I would go that route. If you have her personal data then there is obviously a high degree of trust.  Just sayin.

You could stuff a Mack truck filled with Rosie O'Donnell Doppelgängers and still have room for further negotiations.

... it's possible for the provider to maintain her privacy if the hobbyist gives her the money to make travel arrangements for herself. Of course, that requires a high degree of trust also, as does the whole idea of spending several days with someone out of town, in close quarters.

There are literally hundreds of scenarios where this could be problematic. Besides in many countries BOTH parties have to sign in and show ID at the front desk to be allowed into the rooms.

I just said it's possible, to which you agreed. I agree it wouldn't be easy for her to keep her identity a secret, especially if they fly in first class on the same plane (which isn't always the case).  As for checking into a hotel, my traveling companion has never needed to show ID.  But I don't doubt there's some countries that require it.  

It kind of reminds me of a gal I got to know very well many years ago.  I knew the first name I knew her by was a fake because it was such an obvious hooker name; but after a few months she told me her "real" name and it sounded realistic enough that I figured it was.  Then we decided to go to Florida for a long weekend, and when we got to the airport she had to give her real name while I was in earshot.  She really blushed after that, but I didn't take offense.  It's just one of those things

If we can't trust each other with that info, we are not ready to travel together or spend that kind of time together. I have given many escorts rides in my car, and have gone to dinners and been out in public together without knowing real names, but even then I sometimes wonder what happens if we get into an auto accident or something? In any case I would never travel in a plane or spend more than an overnight or day long date with someone who I didn't know by real name.

and distrust breeds more distrust.  

They have their hooker names like Coco or Mimi, they have their "real" American name, which is also of their own invention, but is the name that everyone in their "real" life calls them usually including their Thai friends and then they have their "REAL REAL" Thai name, which is usually unpronounceable and unspellable to any American, including me. lol

First off, the issue of discussing with her the appropriate donation. This can be a touchy subject because neither party wants to misstep. The client doesn't want to make the provider feel like he is being cheap but the provider doesn't want to potentially alienate the client by asking for too large a sum. I have definitely dealt with this problem before and it's sort of a case by case basis.  

Personally, I appreciate it if the lady make the first move because her "asking price" tells me whether she considers 4 days with me "work" in which case her price in your example would be something like nine grand. Or if she considers four days with me in Europe more of a "working vacation" which would mean she might be asking half that much to cover part of her loss of income due to her being off in Europe having fun with me.

We've established enough trust with each other that we're on a real name basis now

You are totally on point.  I have had several overnight dates and the dates  were negotiated way in advance of the actual date.  I only do overnights dates with non "mercenary" types.  When you do this as long as I have -you know exactly who those ladies are in this business.  

Make her want to do it again. If not the full price on the website, I would still over something reasonable, otherwise she again may see it as a paid vacation.

...visit the same places you're going to.  Just because she wants to visit those places doesn't make it a vacation for her and doesn't have any effect on the stated rates.  You're a client, not her boyfriend.  However, your relationship with her may be better than with other clients and that is what could make her want to reduce her rates.

And these yahoo yeahoo guys do instead?  Seriously don't make it harder than has to be! Tell her you two need to talk about the arrangements of a trip like that.  But don't do if until you have a particular trip (with the dates) in mind. I have a feeling the two of you can come up with something that both of you feel good about.

and on a public board the OP does not get to dictate who can answer his question.

With names like John and Dana. Real names more like Ngyuen, which is pronounced sort of (but not really) like "Wynn."

The bigger reward, the better the job for anybody with any sense, if they want the job again. Reading some history on you, I suspect you are single. You are nothing more than "work" to a hooker if this is her job. If she enjoys her job, even better for you. I attest that she will enjoy her job a hell of a lot more with nine grand in her pocket. As will the people working overseas who charge much less.

I did not say 9 grand, you did. I simply said don't offer her one day's rate for an extended period of time. That's up to them to whatever they negotiate as fair.  

Just lay lay it down and let her pick it up....you're over thinking this 😉

You have already established trust, I am under the impression you really like this girl more than just a casual business relationship.  If I am correct in assuming this, do you think she feels the same towards you?

Thanks, Chloe. You are correct. I like this girl and think we have a great connection. I'd like to believe that I am at least a special client to her. I've never talked to her about money but that's just my hang up I guess. When I see her I don't want to be reminded that this is an arrangement. I'll just have to ask her about the donation for a trip. I think we both want to do this and I think she will be fair.

I have done "this" many many times.  

It's clear how little you think of providers and women as a whole by your posts. What is with this 'mercenary' term? I mean, a lot of people like their job. So you're saying that they should accept less of a wage because they like their work? If your boss sends you on a business trip to London you don't expect them to say "oh, well this is a great opportunity, you can see the city!" and pay you less, right? But you think providers should just be happy for an opportunity because you don't see our labor as "work".

He didn't say any particular lady should accept less than they could otherwise be making. So far as I can tell, he only said he wouldn't pick the kind of lady who'd look at it as strictly business.  

In the case of providers thinking of themselves as "on the clock" 24 hours a day on vacation, that's sorta like the "billable hours" everyone makes fun off lawyers for. Your mind drifts to the case you're working on for a couple of seconds while you were on the toilet? Bill the client. I can see providers breaking down their every action, teasing out what is for the client and what is just her natural reaction to the day. Lifted her eyebrow? That's worth at least 10 cents right there. Smiled out of the side of her mouth? Another 20.