Today's report said that wives are using surveillance software to monitor their husbands' computer activity for signs of infidelity. So, for the love of God, what's next? Tiny remote cameras and microphones that they plant on us disguised as cufflings or tie-clips??

Anyhoo, see me (Bill Maher) tonight on Larry King Live (9PM EST) and also don't forget to watch me on HBO whenever you can. In fact, just keep your remote locked on HBO at all times. Between Sex, Sopranos, Softporn and ME, what else do you want?

And yes, the rumors you have all heard are true. I am a philandering whore-monger just like the rest of you hobbyists. But it's not just providers and pornstars that I drape across my arms when seen out in public. I love all women, especially interesting ones.

Then as I'm reportedly fond of saying: "Back that ass up!"

ABC just called, they want to talk about a new sitcom with Kathy Griffith!

your spouse that you are spying on.

There are legal sanctions for a lot of things, but using them is another matter. What are you going to do, sue your wife? Unless you're divorcing her anyway, that wouldn't be to smart or make a lot of sense.

illegal spying on password-protected information, if she is of a particular temperament.

Seriously, I was looking at his website today. A direct quote from him says, "And yet, in the Q & A after each Broadway show, some woman would always stand to ask why I was anti-woman. Heck, that's how I met my new bride." Is this true? I've done lots of research on it, and I cannot find anything. Now I totally understand why you men don't want to hear about providers' boyfriends or husbands. It ruins everything!

God Bill Maher is homley. He should be glad he's got a show or he would never get laid with the Playboy quality women he gets! Trust me, I've seen him upclose.