I have never wanted any exclusivity, but I do have about 5-6 regular gals I see, and a few more traveling regulars.  I have been seeing some of them for over 20 years.

I've always want to me at least a few new gals each year as well.  

It keeps things spicy, and that's the way I like it.

so I was curious about the extent that others have shared my experience, which is as follows.  I'd especially be interested to hear from more experienced hobbyists, i.e., those who have been with 50+ women.
Essentially, when I first started, my curiosity and thirst for variety were virtually insatiable. I the first year + I was playing, I saw literally scores of women, and many of them were incredible and fabulous and I had an amazing time with them, and would recommend many of them to anyone.  Now, though, my interest has totally shifted. I now want to, and do, spend all of my hobbying time with one very special lady, whom I see on a very regular basis. She is amazing. I never expected for this to happen but it's very satisfying and fulfilling.

Just remember to discern reality from fantasy.  

Best of luck.  I'll refrain from quoting the robot from Lost in Space.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Do what you feel most satisfying..You don't need to feel guilty for not seeing variety of women, nor do you need to feel trapped if the quality of sex drops in the future - if that happens....

I have "gone exclusive" many times. Some times by conscious decision, other times I simply didn't want to see anyone else for a while as at the moment other women paled in comparison to what I was getting with that CF (current favorite)

What you are experiencing may or may not blossom into "real" feelings, it also may or may not be reciprocated. Either way, enjoy it while it lasts, just don't come on here in a month with a "I've fallen for a provider and I can't get up post" lol

Goes in cycles. Just depends on how long things can stay fresh with someone exclusive. No matter what, I still like the variety.  

I really like the feeling of falling in lust with one woman, of course with me the feeling is usually short lived and then I go back to my "flavor of the day" similar to others "flavor of the month" but I have a bigger appetite than most guys my age. lol

and for the record, yours was pretty good advice as well.

One of the great things about P4P is that there are so many ways to enjoy it. You can fuck five different women every day if your wallet and your libido are up to it, OR you can have the fantasy of having a single woman who rocks your world. And the truly great thing about this "hobby" is the fact that you never have to be locked into your decision. Some days you feel like a nut.....

I've had the pleasure of meeting a couple of ladies over the years who i saw multiple times--one such connection included 30+ visits spread out over a couple of years.  Another involved a pretty serious crush on my part that spanned perhaps 15 meetings.  None of them were exclusive but in both cases the sex and the emotional connection were great from the first to the last. The first lady left P4P and got married.  As for the 2nd I decided to stop seeing her when it was clear to me i was really enamored and she (very kindly) let me know she did not feel the same way.  I often regret cutting it off--she was a sweet,  sexy and grounded young woman and we could have had  a lot more fun together.  

So what does all that mean?  I think all you can do is enjoy what you have while you have it.  Don't try to make it more than it is or put the lady in an uncomfortable spot. As long as you're each up front with each other and enjoying the experience as consenting adults then everything else becomes just noise. Bon chance!

but it's dangerous. I myself am a very passionate person. I take great pride in everything I do and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. I am a very rational person, so I fully understand that this is a BUSINESS TRANSACTION. But that doesn't mean that both parties can't genuinely enjoy one anothers company. this is after all, an intimate experience. Especially when you're with a true GFE. It's difficult separating oneself from the emotional part of it. But you  have to.

Enjoy this time with her. But tread lightly and be cautious. Not of her, but of yourself. Don't let yourself get carried away or you will end up with a broken heart.

And I mean that with all RE2PECT.

The best clients are those who keep coming back. It's also less work and risk on your part, and you don't have to break up with anyone to do it!

 
If she offers arrangements, (usually non monogamous is a good place to start IMO,) ask about them. Have fun!!!

-- Modified on 11/19/2014 10:53:55 AM

fucking other guys for money, right? Might be fking one as we speak. Oops. Didn't mean to piss on your Wheaties.

She might be very special to you but you aren't likely to be very special to her. That's the problem with this kinda stuff, isn't it?  

Most guys imo, cant handle what you are describing but I know from listening to enough johns bc how this is likely to pan out. Her getting pissed and you being a mess. Are there exceptions? Sure. But everyone thinks they will be the exception don't they?

Be honest. You are already in love with this girl or will be within the next, oh, 5-6 hours?  

Am I right?

END OF MESSAGE

I see three ladies semi-regularly, all great. I do not see anyone new unless they are all unavailable. My reasoning is simple - of the 100 or so providers I have seen, these 3 are easily in the top 5, so the odds of me seeing someone new who will be better is less than 1 in 20. And even if I do see someone else who is as good, we will not have the rapport I have built with these three.

Sure I still lust after new women, but the 5 or 6 times a year I see someone new are enough to confirm that I should stick with them as long as I can.

Seeing one, even more only wanting to see one is risky. As everyone has said, it suggests an attachment that is not likely to end well. But we all have to work through that, each in our own way. I had the woman I wanted to see above everyone else, that I wanted to see for long dates, took on trips and generally tried to pretend was my GF. What I learned, and somehow have learned to accept finally, was simple - we did not have a lot in common outside the bedroom (and maybe not much in the bedroom in her view), so the more time we spent together the worse we got along.

The good news is that it helped me figure out what I like, how to recognize it when I got it, and how to be a good, appreciative client, and maybe even a little bit of a friend, when I find the right women.

There are benefits to exclusivity, of course, for both the client and the provider. She gets all your money, has a good degree of control over you and can budget based on what you will spend with her. On the other hand, she has to deal with a clingy client, often escalating and evolving demands, and pretending to maintain the same degree of interest and enjoyment in your company over a long period of time. And unless she really likes you and the two of you have a lot in common (which is unlikely to lots of reasons), it becomes harder and harder work for her.

For you there is the pleasure of increasing intimacy and familiarity (because if the sex is not continuing to evolve and improve, you sure as hell should not be doing it), the ease of it all, and the pleasure of her company. But that is offset by the increasing familiarity which either is going to make her somewhat less attractive to you, or you really have fallen hard and should run away. Then there is the time when she leaves, for whatever reason. Because this is a transient business and most providers do not last 2 years in the business. When that happens, if you are only seeing one woman, the transition is a lot harder. Much better in my book to be able to go see your number two for a perfectly enjoyable time while you are also searching for new and delightful friends.

Having sex with a beautiful, young and skilled woman, followed by an interesting conversation, and then going home. That turns out to be an ideal formula for me. And I have found that accepting it all for what it is, including understanding what each woman is willing to offer and accepting that rather than trying to find the woman you "like" the most and then get her to give whatever it is you have decided you really want, changes the whole dynamic into something that can be a lot more relaxed and friendly.

But as I said, everyone needs to work this out in their own way and time.

zig

Until then there is nothing wrong with a bit of infatuation with a hooker. I do this all the time. As a matter of fact I am seeing a lady this afternoon that I have seem maybe five times in the last two weeks, only seeing a couple of other ladies during that time. I am hardly falling in love with her, but she totally fucks my brains out and until it gets stale, I plan on seeing her MANY times in future.

I do agree that experience in the hobby is not bullet proof armor for "falling" for a hooker, but I am living proof that it can be done with no ill effects. Quite frankly, I have lost track of how many hookers I have been "exclusive" with for days, weeks or even months at a time. Well days or weeks at least. Months at a time are extremely rare, a provider has to have graduated to GF status, which means no money involved, for me to ever go that long only seeing one woman, but I will admit it has happened, and I am none the worse for wear.

So lets let the OP enjoy his moment, or moments, if his head gets sideways, a good knock with a bat will straighten him out when needed.

This guy's been doin this for a while. He doesn't strike me as being an imbecile. I'm pretty sure he knows the deal. He's just expressing some feelings and I don't think that laying the hammer down on him is all that helpful.

You are sadly mistaken if you believe that. Many times it is the more experienced guys who let their guard down and get caught up in the hoopla.

Not sure how being straight up with him is "hammering" him. He is free to hobby any way he wants. I just have a lot of experience with numerous johns who go down this path and it generally ends badly for the guy.

He specifically asked to hear from hobbyists who have seen tons of women and I weighed in. You can pump rainbows and unicorns up his ass if you wish.  

I gave him something else to consider and a huge helping of reality.  

 

-- Modified on 11/19/2014 1:30:15 PM

Your "friendship" was only based on money. He took a chance, probably misread your signals, and paid the price.

That said, he did find out if your feelings for him extended past the envelope, in your case they did not. He had to find out sooner or later and the only way to know for sure is to take the money out of the equation. He might not have liked the answer he got, and I am sure that you miss the money, but what you describe was NOT a friendship, it was a business transaction, it appears that you have confused the two as well as he did.

That's just one of the things I love about P4P, I don't feel obligated to spend time outside the bedroom with a hooker that I pay. I have had several civvie GF's where we could only be together for a day or two before things started going downhill.

I will also agree that everyone needs to work out their own way of doing things, as long as you are happy with your method, then it is the right method, for you at least. It may or may not work for others.

the unicorns would hurt A LOT. I would never pump one of those up anyone's ass, sir.

I do appreciate Jack's advice and am glad he spoke up. No doubt he speaks a truth of which I am indeed quite cognizant. I do understand the risks and for now am just enjoying my time with her.

Lots of limp wristed softer types here just crave to have something jammed up their ass. Of course they will tell you "but a GIRL is doing it JD, so that makes it straight!" Oh...........ok.  

Yeah...and I guess taking some johns jizz load on his face is straight too, as long as his Johnson just exited a cooch? lol

If people wanna play that way that's there biz, bit to come on here and say it isn't gay/bi, well I call bullshit on that.

This dude is already saying there is some truth to what I say in general so I think he is closer to the "falling for a hooker" stage than he is to the infatuation one, but time will tell.  

I should charge for my services as I have had to be there for quite a few "in love" johns who had their little john hearts broken with unrequited hooker love. Then I have to "man them back up" to get back in the game. It aint pretty, let me tell you.  

Its always a red flag to me when a guys starts seeing a girl extensively, to the exclusion of other gals. But again its their biz and most imo, don't have the same attitude/experience level as you.

will regale you with 5, 10, or more stories all with the same ending:

Her getting creeped out/annoyed with his "attachment" and him getting his feelings hurt/crushed.

Yes SOME people can handle this, ime, most cant.

Dude I am with you 100% on this.

You gotta "love" the provider who makes you wonder. That is the ultimate GFE...but splash cold water on your face, then remind yourself, quickly, she is making some other guy, perhaps several, feel that same way in a day, a week, an hour? All of the above?

We're not special. generally speaking, of course. There are exceptions.

Guys wanted a GFE session, girls provided it, and they were/are heavily compensated for that style but if a dopey john thinks the girl is "into" him because of her acting skills, well then its his bad, not hers.

I remember getting a dose of this medicine early on with a very popular agency girl. (I don't see agency girls anymore for LE reasons.) I only booked an hour but wanted to pop again and asked if could pay her for another hour.

She said she could see me tomorrow. lol. She explained she had a different john coming up in 5 mins and one right after that and that she was actually "booked" for the rest of the day as well.  

That's all I ever needed to hear to educate me that this was a business first and foremost. I do have several girls I am VERY close to, including two that left the biz that I still see as buds but part of that is b/c they know I wont go down that "I fell in love with a hooker" crap that 99.9% of them dread.

Asking a hooker to basically give up her career for a few peanuts to be with a guy she's met in person twice is downright nuts IMO.

I apologize for inferring too much about the situation when reading your last post. It sounded to me like you had been seeing a guy for years professionally, it grew into something more in his mind, and THEN he asked to make it "real" and take the money out of the equation, which could actually make some sense if you had been sending out those type of signals to him, or if your GFE was so convincing that he simply invented them in his mind.

What actually happened I suppose is that you lost a pen pal, I guess while you never want to lose a friend of any kind, losing someone who really wasn't much more than a penpal isn't as bad as someone who was a regular that you had to kick to the curb.

Exactly. And that is exactly what the metaphorical cold water is: that steady stream of guys waiting in the wings for their turn at that sweet piece of ass. It is absolutely not the woman's fault for being good at it, nor can a guy faulted, at least the first time, for getting caught up in it. It's human nature. Who wouldn't want some super hot chick you just fucked to like you? Not raising hand! But you HAVE to remember what you're doing!!! I

t doesn't make us smarter for being wise to it, it just makes us more aware of the situation. I have a hard time believing a 50+ guy isn't coupling the feeling of mutual attraction with the cold water portion of the equation, and seeing they don't add up

Now that you mention it I do remember a few relationships IRL that seemed to get to a point when the bloom was off the initial lust, and the only thing that replaced it was annoyance.

On the flip side, I discovered that even though it is P4P and she surely feels at least a little relieved when I leave and she does not have to be "on" any more, you still can't say to her that she gets on your nerves if you spend more than an hour or two at a time with her. She may not really give a fuck about me, would never see me again if I stopped paying her, but that still stings.

zig

He fell for you meeting twice, living across the country, and emailing for several years?  Never thought  long-distance GFE would work, but you may have uncovered a new niche in the hobby.

they way it's said that there can never be  happy ending.
i.e. the provider friend becomes a wife and lifelong partner.
and the client somehow single or unbaggaged in the present. ( well many of
us are actually single, probably )

Incredibly, my favorite two ATF's I've lost had done just that, gone to civvie relationship
with to different "ex-" TER guys where supposedly both dropped the hobby and burned all  
internet bridges.

Like some said, who knows how long it lasts, or the best is to wish your former ATF friend well in life.  
But still, it freaking happens like lottery wins, despite all that's said here to "never expect" otherwise.  

i.e. maybe some rich players here actually use TER to date providers who are borderline
"too good for providing" as well.

Well said Phunhog. After having experienced my own crush with an ex-atf/ex-provider.
It's fortunate enough to find a good relationship with an ATF where the provider doesn't really
care or at worse despise a client. Yet, then it's like lottery chances the provider feels
the same way as strongly as a client with a crush. Maybe there is no such thing as
soul mates or soulmate relationships. And all this hope is doomed to limited hobby sessions
and that's all it is in life. so it's like a theme park. A roller coaster ride. But one just rides
a roller coaster a limited number of times, a limited number of days, on limited trips to the park.
Not living there at the park and cleaning up spilled popcorn after hours.

can't OP dream or wish for the same experience, either no PvP OTC time, or graduated to gf time, and not just knocked down immediately by the 2x4?

I recall an ATF I had, where I saw her several times. Then one day she showed me a new Mercedes her "part-time" bf bought her. On questioning her she said he was initially a client but from "overseas" and started to see her more often from out of the clock. Then later on I had to endure her pointing out certain artwork sculptures what have you, were his own work he'd given to her. As for myself a few times I'd ask her for a dinner meeting or such OTC. She said it was ok, of course during a session. But then when I tried to call her up, she'd always lie and give me the excuse she was with her ex-s kids or such. This lady was 48-50. hot looking, decent, great service etc. Then one day she just disppeared. Completely. email, phone nothing worked. I have no doubt the playboy from Eastern europe had picked her up off the "market".

-- Modified on 11/19/2014 9:25:34 PM

You do write unusally well, so I think I can see it now.  Sounds like you were really sincere about the long-distance connection you had - sorry it went sour from his end.