I do my very best to be discreet. I don't want to get any of my friends n trouble. I try to remember to ask if my friends have a wife or go on the first conversation.

He had an appointment and was to be on his way, you were waiting for him. It is his responsibility to somehow warn you or not answer and tell you later. Such as the same if you were running late etc, he should be able to contact you or you to tell him what is going on.

...may find it weird or nosy if you ask about spouses or SO's in the first conversation unless you tell them why you're asking.

No problem with calling the first time, but probably should haven't made the second call. Did you recognize the voice when he asked who it was?  As for me, I have a hobby phone, and it is turned off when around wife.

generally, contact should NEVER be initiated by the provider, and this situation is a prime example as to why.  If he's late, let him call you and tell you.  If he's a NCNS, write him off until he contacts you and offers a reasonable explanation (hopefully with a rebooking).

I don't think it was wrong of you but I wouldn't hold it against him if he chooses not to rebook. Personally, this is why in my initial contact with a lady I always include along with my contact info a statement to the effect of I am completely single and it is always ok to text/call/leave voice mail if need be. But then again, if I weren't completely single, I also wouldn't be here.

But he called and said he was on his way.  
If I were the provider, I feel it would be safe to assume the wife was not with him. LOL

I am married and usually use e-mail till just before the date. i agree with the "I am on my way" means I am driving down the road to you. I also would have turned my phone off if for some reason I was unexpectadly with the wife. But as others have said you should probably not have made the second call. We all make mistakes though just learn from it and move on.

He is the one who didn't have his shit together, so what ever he ends up with is his own fault, not hers.

I would never "call" a client even if he said he was on his way, because of this very scenario. He could have been in the car with his child. Many men have to drop someone off, pick someone up, etc. before they make it to us, especially during the work week. The text or email might have been ok, but not a call. Then again, if his wife was there why did he even pick up the damn phone? Common sense would say turn the thing off.  

Amen. This is in the hooker hand book, Chapter 1, Page 4 lol.

Have to disagree with you here.  If a client says "I am on my way", a provider is right to assume he has "cleared customs".  If he had said "I am dropping my wife off at the mall on the way"...completely different scenario.

Scratch that

-- Modified on 7/11/2013 5:11:01 AM

. What you just desccribed was my dilemma. I try not to chase clients down either, but I had other people who wanted to see me. I didn't want to set a new appointment to have him show 2 minutes later.

I won't wait around on a booked appt. if he can't tell me he is late or not coming. I don't give my location until I get the call anyway, so nothing he can do.

. He had an hour travel time, called when leaving.

To both of you. But thank you for posting about this!  

I was quite happy when a provider made an exception to the rule and called me when I was late for my appointment with her.  Not having a smart phone at the time nearly cost me a great time with a great provider.  

I think he is full of shit.

-- Modified on 7/11/2013 10:00:23 AM

That was my secondary reason for posting this. If I can help someone else from having the same problem I did, I will.

with the wife in the car! lol.

Generally speaking my patience is superb , up to a point , though it's not as forgiving as in the past .
   Over the years those that  haven't showed on time have had a discrete effect on my willingness to wait .
 
    If I have a confirmed appt.  for a discreet affair with a provider pear ,  at a confirmed  time , if they're not there  within fifteen minutes without a call , I'm out of their hair .  
   

While you certainly have every right to know what is going on I don't really agree that it's OK to call rather than text just because someone is "on their way".  Everyone's situation is different.

Of course, he could have avoided the whole scenario simply by sending a quick text that he was delayed or even just texting that his wife showed up.  I wouldn't have called as you did but I still think that he was in the wrong for not keeping you informed of the situation.

He was able to send me texts bitching after I called the second time. But didn't do that before I called

I have had no problems concerning this post, I was just wondering.

Too bad he didn't think of that when he was first delayed.  It would have eliminated the whole problem!

BTW, I'm not making excuses for the guy.  I don't know how he plans his appointments but when I was hobbying as a married man I never created a situation where my wife could show up and ruin my plans.  He needs to re-think his approach.  My only point is that I think texting is better than calling most of the time.

He is a moron who is beyond help.

but yes texting is a much better approach than calling.

but if no instructions are given, then it's a crap shoot.

Either don't call and he is a NCNS; or call and risk screwing up something on his end.

He should number one...HAVE A HOBBY PHONE.
Two he should have somehow gotten in touch with *you*, not you having to get in touch with him...he was the one who was late/no show and coming *to you*.

I can use my website to send out "Happy Birthday notes"  and "newsletters"

RUDENESS of them no showing or wasting my time by the claim "on my way" that I have this VERY strong URGE to call and give them a lashing (whether they give a shit) it makes me feel better.  

coming, not bulshitting, and wasting my time.. Since I am lower volume, I can allow guys to show up late (no more than 30 min) as long as he's keeping updated.