What charactar trait seems to make a GFE the 'real deal' with you? Is it just 'clikcing'? Time? Someone who knows and meets your expectations? I know it's subjective......but just the first thing that comes to mind?
Thanks for the help. J'

For me it's like we can read each others minds.... what I mean is ... don't wait for me to kiss you ... kiss me first if were talking ... roll over on top of me if were spooning .. don't wait for me .. it is as it states a girl friend experiecne .. don't verbalize everything .. "ok now let's do this or that ... there should be a flow to each action .. not a set routine ... it's not time or how many positions ... but a feel of intimacy. my .02  and might I add you look incredible ......

-- Modified on 5/7/2004 3:36:50 PM

You're right in assessing GFE as being pretty subjective.  I've been with women described to me as GFE, yet that was not my experience.  I've also described other providers as GFEs and gotten flamed for my assessment.  For me, eye contact, listening skills, and recognizing appropriate pauses and breaks in that first conversation that indicate that perhaps a GFE is possible.  Once the skin games have started, it's a lot like playing basketball with a new teammate.  Anticipating your teammate's moves and he yours, so that you can make a pass where you know he'll be...before he gets there; basketball players will recognize what I mean.  After that, it's just being recognized and appreciated for being a giving sexual partner and having that reciprocated.  In short, if you are a genuinely nice person who can feel empathy, that's more than the half of it.  By the way boys, why don't you make an effort at being a BFE while you're at it?!

Jai, I'm not particularly fond of labels like this because the definitions are subjective that the term is nearly meaningless.  The irony is that the subjectiveness objectifies the person so labeled.

That said...what takes the experience of being with a provider transcend the sterotypical?  Connection.  Pure and simple connection.  There is a Zen-like contradiction here, in that expectations actually make it more difficult to reach that level on a date.  

We start by really liking each other.  We spend time together that isn't about sex, and we share interests and conversation that have nothing to do with the bedroom.  Her thoughts and opinions matter to me, and mine matter to her.  We pay attention to each other the way lovers do, because for a while, we ARE lovers.  We openly and passionately respect each other.  We communicate, we care and we challenge each other.  Both of us gain more than the obvious from our time together; we grow as human beings.  

Also, she calls on my cell phone when I'm on my way to her incall and asks me to pick up some cat food and rent a movie for us to watch while we snuggle on the couch.

Yoda

I've been hobbying for a number of years and back in the late 90s when the escort business went "global" with the internet the term GFE was coined.  The official acronym for GFE has always been:  Girl Friend Experience.

At that time, many of us used the term as a way to rate or describe our session with a particular provider.  GFE, at that time, meant the provider was willing to provide you (sexually) everything you would expect from your girlfriend.  Which usually meant nothing was off limits.

Over time, the hobby world grew in popularity through the internet and website after website along with discussion forum after discussion forum kept cropping up all over. With more boards came more clients, thus additional tastes and preferences were discussed.  Those actively posting on the boards eight years ago were men who visited providers purely for sexual gratification.  Now, we are aware that regular posters see providers for such a vast number of reasons. As a result, the term GFE has evolved into something more encompassing than the previous definition... sex is only a small part of it.

What does it mean today??  I have absolutely no clue anymore.  What I do know is that I look for a PSE (Porn Star Experience) over a GFE.  This does not mean I seek appointments with porn stars... it means I seek providers who will do for me sexually what I see in the hard core pornos.

Willia has pointed out... being a gentlemen will get you a long ways as a client.  I won't call myself a BFE because I don't know anymore what that definition has become.

Ladies usually need the following to be happy and accomodating:

- To know that you will not harm her
- To know that you will not arrest her
- To know that you will not pass on STD to her
- To know that you will not rip her off

Cheerfully provide her with the safety from  these four dangers and she'll usually leave you with a smile on your face.

and it's my turn to empty the trash.  So in the context of a couple hours with a provider this seems, obviously, a fantasy term to mean the best bedroom time you can have on what in civilian life would be a really great day!  Heck, a PSE could be one fella's GFE, while S&M could be another's.  Granted, my girlfriend's have been in the same, distant, family tree as a Norman Rockwell painting so the term carries a strange "whore/madonna" context to it for me.
 love,
Jockeypants

If you make me feel like a new friend rather than a client you're half way there. Approach the sex as you would if you had found a very attractive man who you were trying to win over as your own.(you remember how to do that don't you?)
 We guys are pretty simple. If we feel accepted for who and what we are and the sex flows naturally and uninhibited we will find it hard to stay away for long from your charms.

MasterYoda and FreedomRider225 pretty well captured my viewpoint.  I'd only add that passionate kissing is important to me and the feeling that, for the duration of our time together, I'm the only man in her life.  

Put another way, I want to truly be able to "forget it's a service".  And that's much more about attitude than it is about specific acts.

I agree with most of the comments.  I like to consider the “total experience”.  Does the provider call me by my name or “honey”?  It is easy to call everyone honey.  Does she have an interest in me as a person?  Does she let me care about her as a person?  I do not mean that we are falling in love, just be business friends.  I have business friends and personal friends.  I do not mix the two.  Do we listen to each other or are we in another world or watching the clock and thinking about the next appointment?  Does the provider follow up the date with 1 e-mail thanking me for the date?  I always send a thank you note.  Yes, I want the provider to provide a total wonderful experience with a positive attitude.  Yes, I am paying for time in fantasy land.

It's hard to generically define what it is, but I definitely know when she's NOT a GFE-type provider. Clock watching, emotionless, all business, non-kissing, very limited touching, and generally phony providers are not GFEs. It basically boils down to the feeling you're left with when it's over. If you put her on your speeddial right after she leaves, she's probably a GFE.

most definitely kissing.  Gentle kisses which are at first affectionate and then passionate.  It is very nice if there is some light conversation during the act including her telling me where and how SHE wants to be touched and of course some time to unwind at the end...but this is rare, even with a girlfriend!

One who makes you feel like she is enjoying the "activities" as much as you are.  

One who makes you feel as if she is attracted to you as you are to her.

I'm not sure about the other gentlemen out here, but I'm already married and have a family.  I'm not really in search of another wife/girlfriend.  Although it is important to feel wanted and desired which is what you get from a GFE.  The worst thing is to make the guy feel like he is just another customer and that you really don't want to be there at all.  

I'm more likely to seek ladies who are friendly and enjoy the same "activities" that I enjoy.  I guess I would rather meet with a PSE who really gets into her job than a GFE.

BTW; You have an incredible body....Ever get to Boston?


     

-- Modified on 5/8/2004 1:39:33 PM

will deliver GFE, but a great provider will make you believe it.

For me it’s about a very relaxed and comfortable space you can fall into.  No one is trying to make the experience something it isn’t.  I’d guess the comment above about the provider needing to feel safe must be part of it. That something clicks which says “this guy is OK to relax with”.  Things aren’t strained or forced, there’s little conversational chit chat, giggles at awkward moments.  Eye contact is a big one for me. And when I look into the eyes it’s not a distracted, burned out shell.  It’s a person, with a smile who is very comfortable in this moment with me. I can’t imagine GFE without serious kissing, it’s more intimate than sex.  

It’s lots of little things, all of them feel natural.  Yes I suppose for each of us we need a provider that meets our fantasy of GFE, whatever that is, but it’s more than that, that’s just the opportunity for the experience.  It’s a zone of very comfortable wonderful sex and a friendly afterglow. Afterwards is very telling.  Remember once laying face down after a wonder session, totally relaxed and satisfied, she lays down on my back face up and starts just chatting away. That’s a GFE moment I remember.

Act like you did in that situation.  We will respond.  Stay in the moment.

Do kiss passionately
Don't count the money in front of me
Do tell me what you like
Don't tell me about your lousy day
Do make eye contact as much as possible
Don't pretend you're coming with one of those adult movie orgasms where you're tearing the wallpaper off
Do ask me what I like by whispering in my ear during a hug or backrub
Don't take my appointment if you'd rather be shopping, sleeping or anything else for that matter
Do make me your focus while we're together

See?  Simple.

it's all about attitude.
If a lady can make me feel relaxed and comfortable, by acting naturally, or at least acting, then she is my GFE. It is too often the simple things that I recall afterwards like the pillowtalk, setting the mood in the room, a soothing massage, an affectionate touch or caress finding my sweet spot for arousal (and no it's not down there), or a long passionate kiss. If we can pass the time without any forced chit chat, and conducting business ($$$), it makes a guy like me feel as though it was not planned or arranged, more like just sort of happened.

And the more you give, the more you and your partner get out of the experience.