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everyday how badly she has let herself go over the last 15 years. Booze, pills, sedentary lifestyle, sits around watching TV and glued to her laptop.  Her greatest physical output is taking a walk.  If you ask me, 'walking' is excercise for much older or out-of-shape individuals.  I tried for years to join her and encourage her to workout with me; to no avail.  Always an excuse.

Hence, the reason I hobby.  The physical attraction is completely gone.  The only affair she could have at this point would be with a zookeeper.  Hate to sound crass, but I'm reminded of Fred Sanford's line about pushing someone's face into dough to make 'gorilla cookies'.

But there's an ass for every seat, so maybe someone will find her appealing.  Maybe not.  But I'll be out enjoying far more beautiful, sensual providers.

Wife & I got together (second marriages) when she was about 40...  had no sex drive then.  Rarely would agree to sex then...   Now  after 30 years, she's completely refused for some time & she likes it like that.  
I'm not ready to stop being sexual, therefor I hobby.

My ex is in her mid 50s and we've remained friends to the point where we share stories of our sexual  escapades.  She's still quite attractive, has been dating extensively, fending off younger guys who like older women.  One of her "guys" has opened her up sexually to an incredible extent.  I won't share the details but she's really "out there" in terms of what she does and her entire level of sexual responsiveness.
Of course, I'll agree she's kind of unusual and probably the classic "exception that proves the rule."

Chances are no one is fucking her. Unless it is for money, because your wife is hot.

 
I have no interest what so ever when it comes to an affair. Most likely be cause I have no interest with a relationship to begin with.

that would help her to open up and regain her sexuality... I would accept it. Nothing else I have tried (and I HAVE tried, so hard) has worked. It is not "all about me". Should I become the beneficiary of an awakened libido, I would be grateful, and my participation in this world would end.

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Fat old men bitching about their fat old wives, and who lost interest in who first.

-- Modified on 4/18/2014 7:53:46 AM

you do and it got to her. maybe she wont admit it but that's what most likely got her started . and funny how some women do this and not try when their husbands ask for a little more love .. heck if she got the hummingbird shed still want you. ironic isn't it ..  

and way to much info about the mrs.

..................your post is filled with generalizations and assumptions that may apply to some but not others, it's just that simple.  Many of the posters here and other threads on this topic have posted about their efforts to engage with their wives on sexual issues and have failed for a variety of reasons.  Why don't you take that broad brush and use it somewhere else?  

My ex doubled in weight from the time we were married until we divorced last year. When she's sober, and doesn't have bloodshot, puffy eyes and a drunk expression on her face, she's still attractive.  

As I've said before, we had a fantastic sex life. When menopause hit, things went south. When she started drinking heavily after I'd quit drinking, things came to a halt.

She needs a guy, though, so I suspect she's putting out just to have a guy. Whether he's getting as good as I got, I don't know, I don't want to know, and I don't care

Do you not understand If/Then statements? You're the one taking the broad brush and applying it to yourself and others, I am perfectly capable of grasping the meaning of "if you talk like an asshole, then you might be an asshole", as I would hope most are. Though I am aware that I generally give people more credit than they deserve. Case in point.

Don't TRY to be upset. If it doesn't apply to you, it doesn't apply to you. No need wasting board space with a million ellipses and a whine and cheese post over one calling a piece of shit what it is.

Or shall I say wifes, and their husbands have no idea about Armando!  Its funny because they sometimes have set appointments with Talia! Lol

Was a lame ABC plug for the site Ashl-y Mad---n. My SO (with my blessing) and I went on there so we could see if it was for real. Sadly, my anecdotally experience says it is mostly another scam. If a woman member is for real (she posted real pics with a blurry face too), she gets droves of responses. But I got only fake requests trying to me to pay for more privileges.

Who's boning my old lady ? It used to be some of you clowns and other PS'es. Lmao.

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Have the wherewithal to understand marriage and sex are two different things?

 
;Too many fairy tales.

I have no interest in a relationship either.

I do what I want, when I want, with whom I want as much or as little as I want.

The only thing I'm married to is my job, I could retire fairly comfortably today, but honestly I'd miss it terribly. And when I do retire I'll be much more than comfortable.

For the rest of my life, my relationships will be the hobby, I love it that way. There is no guessing what a providers motivations are, the simplicity in that is ultra attractive to me. Win/wins are great, and this is most definitely a win/win.

Lmaoooooooo

Who have relationship problems, have just that. Relationship problems, not an actual problem with other person in their relationship. They are addicted to being in relationships, not affection, not sex, not anything except the idea of the relationship itself.

You saved me from asking, something I didn't want answered.

...which you edited to tone it down.  You started out by throwing a brickbat at many and didn't like being called on it.  I'm proficient in English.  Your original post is here to see and if you wanted to make an if/then statement you would have begun by saying "If the woman stuck by your side...." but you didn't and now it's edited out anyway, so I agree, no big deal.

My ex couldn't be alone, I know this now, after the fact. She needs to be in a relationship, and she'll stay in a bad relationship just to be in a relationship. I think she "settled" for me, and I know I "settled" for her. I am very happy and content being alone, I don't need anyone in my life anymore to feel complete. And, my hobby is the best hobby, when I need companionship and intimacy, I get it, with really hot sexy ladies who are professionals at what they do.

Fucking perfect!

(@you)
And paint your ample ass with it? I for one liked her unedited post. Raw, honest and of course too much for you and few others. So if you don't like generalizations, then in her experience. Hope that works for you. And for the record, generalizations are built on a modicum of truth, same with stereotypes. If you're not one the guys she was referring to, then her generalization should not bother you. Clearly it did.

(@RLBD)
So how about describing yourself for us, especially the ladies. Let us see what your wife has to deal with physically because we all know what she has to deal with personally. I saw that glowing description you gave.  

Sometime it's too little, too late. Once the switch has been turned off, well you can see how well it has gone for guys getting it turned back on.  

Just fuck your hookers and leave out the disrespectful wife descriptors. It says way more about you than her.

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-- Modified on 4/18/2014 9:22:18 AM

I've also seen pictures and "other evidence."  So whatever her motivation, she's not bullshitting me. I even brought her to a party so she could meet my ATF.  She had a blast.

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Wouldn't it have been easier to skip the marriage?  

 

Sure, if you got married to advance your career that's understandable. I would also assume the wife can fully understand what her marriage to you entails.  

 
...So, why would you care if she is having an affair?

I guess you don't.

really ? did you wear purple velour and drive a caddy there . wtf did they talk about , I don't want to know ..you must have been 1 horny kid that's for sure .. hey Minnie , wanna go to a party with nick , imagine her there she wouldn't shut up I bet ..  

Interesting. Problems with being in a relationship, or addicted to relationships, seems to define loneliness.
Also, it says something about one's emotional life. How many emotions are felt aside from those experienced in relation to another person?

Are you inquiring about the individual's emotions, as opposed to the emotions shared by both individuals of a relationship?

I don't really care about being called on it, because I still stand by it, and you're still "calling me out" on something that, honestly, comes down to you deciding that you're going to get butthurt about this particular thing today. This "broad brush" that I'm using isn't even that broad. In fact, it's pretty specific, if you just read it for what it is, which is a response to the assholes out there, whether you want to admit they exist or not.  

The only reason I changed it was because I am aware that there are three main groups on here. 1) Those who try to offend everyone 2) Those who try to be offended by everyone and 3) those who show up too late to get their panties in a twist and have to settle for reading the trainwreck. Didn't feel like dealing with group number two today is all, but obviously I must...

I do realize that this can be confusing: "And before you tell me what a great husband you are, if you're talking about her like this, like she is some subhuman being, you fucking aren't." It's hard to tell exactly who compared their wife to an ape and who didn't here, especially with it clearly typed out in the above posts. It's even harder to figure out if I'm talking about that guy, or the ones who "tried" (it's all relative, right?) to fix things. I totally understand the mix up there, subhuman is a very borderline word. Who really knows what it even means anyways?

I also realize that "Maybe if you spent half the time it takes coming up with pussy ass insults for the boys in the locker room on treating her like your PARTNER, you wouldn't be dealing with someone who can't stand touching you for free in the first place." can also be really confusing. I mean, how does one simply KNOW if they are insulting their wife? How DOES one figure out if something actually is or is not mean to say about a woman who has dedicated her life to your betterment? When there's someone comparing his wife to an animal, and you're talking about therapy, long talks, long walks, and lots of experimenting, how can a guy be sure if he's not the asshole going out of his way to talk shit to impress a bunch of other Johns? Truly, I am not sure how you guys do it.

Whatever dude. Like I said, if it upsets you, then read it and decide if you have a reason to feel like I'm talking to you. If not, it's cause you obviously get what I'm talking about. As for me, I will work on short phrases and small words in the future

And is capable of ending a romantic relationship because of something besides driving the other person to hate him. Sometimes it really is as simple as two good people not being good for each other, know what I mean?

Don't they mean anything?  

 
...if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. I think the miserably ever afters like being miserable, or they are afraid of being alone, and rather be miserable together.

 
IDK? since I have no skin in the marriage game.

The concept of a humanist marriage ?... Marriage sounds fairly inhumane to me.

As if marriage didn't exist before someone else told us what to believe anyways?  

I might have it mixed up, but if it is the one I'm thinking about, I think it's honestly not that different than a more traditional wedding ceremony/marriage. You're just not involving God in any of the promises that you may or may not keep, which would be my personal preference, lol

Whatever you want to call your particular brand of faith in someone being able to promise to feel a certain way about you forever, I think it's great. I really do think that the idea and the potential is beautiful. My issues are with the typical practice of marriage, not the act, mostly.

I agree that there is a large portion of the population that is too lazy to even make themselves happy, let alone someone else.  

I am not sure if I could ever trust someone enough to bind myself to them legally just because we like each other right now. Maybe when we're in our late sixties, and we're like "fuck it, we deserve those tax breaks", but until then, nobody had better be expecting anything from me other than treating them the way I'd like to be treated. Honestly, it's in big part because of this hobby. We ladies know the true meaning of "You never know".

When it comes to relationships. Driving, I will probably be an "asshole".

...if you don't need the church's blessing, why do you need the state's?

 
Aside from the legalities, why have a marriage contract to begin with?

It was a birthday party my ATF what throwing for herself.  She knew about my ex and told me to invite her, too, if she wanted to come.  She did and it was a gas.  She loved my ATF and also a big chubby domme gf of hers.  As for Minnie, not a chance.

my ex and I are good friends.  We were just really bad for each other as spouses.

No - the purpose of our marriage was to have children.  I don't believe in having illegitimate children.  Never would have gotten married otherwise.

At the time we got married, we did have a good sex life - but that's not why we got married.  It's all about having children and providing for them.  Children did slow it down and a later hysterectomy finished our sex life  for good.  Not certain how "skipping the marriage" would have worked.  The marriage worked - we have three children, all gainfully employed, making their way in the world.   Somebody will come to my funeral and actually mourn my passing - even if its just to attend the reading of the will.....  The only form of immortality we have.  Don't see a point in getting divorced - I still love the woman and we work well together as roommates and partners.

If an affair would get her engine going - then by all means...  It's really not all about me - just like ZenMaster stated.  Hence the +1 EOM...   Hell, perv that I am, I would get a charge out of listening to her describe it in great detail (interesting role play idea now that I think of it... - bad slut wifey confesses and does ANYTHING to make it up...)  - or even an MFM threesome with the guy.  

Like all guys - I just gotta have sex on a semi regular basis or I get mean as a snake.  So since the wife ain't on the menu,  I get to have sex with some very lovely ladies - but sometimes, like a lot of married guys who monger, I really miss making love to her and yes, I would give it up in a millisecond if she would give it up to me...

Do I tell her about my mongering - Hell NO.  I don't drop trou and fart in her face either.  

Bottom Line - You and other posters are absolutely right that we married guys whine too much about it.  It's a cliche around here.  But unless you have been there....you really won't understand.

and still remain monogamous(or not). I can't quite follow your reasoning, for marriage.

hate , no strong word . hate = love
and two good people should be good together and become one great couple .  
sorry I get your theory but hope you get my point , know what I mean?

dammit nick I want to get those invites , minus the big chubby dome gf .  there are a few I wouldn't mind celebrating birthdays with . and id be the damn present with pleasure  

faith in their beliefs and hope that their faith will guide them . however many find that their faith wasn't as strong as their hope and without the two its doomed and usually one always has hope until there is no more faith .  

marriage is nice some people aren't .  

The gal throwing it had just made about $5K over the prior three days hooking in Manhattan and blew it all on a suite at the Trump International on CPW.  She'd been a domme, a stripper and a hooker and invited her friends from all three worlds, which rarely overlap.
My ex got all dolled up and was looking good.  We were getting out of my car in the hotel garage and, right in front of the valet she asked me, "So, do I look like a hooker?" He almost peed his pants. I told her she'd pass.

Not that it's any of your freaking business - but it's a slow day and the topic amuses me.

With regards to raising children out of wedlock -  I know a number of single, unmarried Moms that do a great job raising their kids.  I know some married couples that do a spectacularly poor job raising their children.  It's not the reason I got married.  

With regards to monogamy - I have never stated that the reason that I got married was to enforce monogamy on my wife.  That is patriarchal BS that I do not believe in.  I was, as it happens, monogamous before my marriage and for the first twenty years of my marriage.  - but not because I was married - but because I really was not interested in others.   I am still not interested in others from a relationship standpoint.  I believe she was and is monogamous but I really have no idea - nor do I really care.  Not the reason I got married.

So - why get married....

There is a reason that gays want gay marriage legalized... and most of those reasons apply to heterosexual couples as well.

The state (meaning the federal and state governments) and insurance companies make it MUCH easier to deal with taxes, life insurance, medical insurance and leaving your property to your family without further taxes if you are married.  In some states, you can now get health insurance for your 'partner' and children of your unmarried partner - but twenty five years ago that wasn't an option.  Income tax treatment is much better if you make much more money than your spouse does.   Further, if you are married, you can deduct your wife's children and get health insurance for them, even if they are not yours genetically and predate you and your marriage..... Yes - your wife can file separately as head of household but.. you lose the married deduction that way.

As a further example -if you leave property to your wife it is not subject to inheritance taxes, for example.  You can use your wife's estate tax exemption or vice versa to leave more money to the kids and less to the federal and/or state government.  You can even avoid probate if you have all your ducks in a row depending on the state and the power of their lawyers union.

Now - if you do not have significant property or you are not going to have children - honestly, no reason to get married I know of.    But if you do have significant property or you are going to have children - you really ought to get married.  A prenuptial agreement is always a good idea - but you can't have one if you aren't married.  But you can find yourself responsible for spousal support even if you don't get married.  So -- if you have money and you start living with someone (especially if you are going to have children...)  - it's best to get married - preferably with a prenup.  Much less messy if things go pear shaped.

Nearly every thing else - Medical Power of Attorney, for example, can be dealt with if you have a decent attorney or you are willing to go through the paperwork yourself but....    

Further -  I am old enough that the idea of having children out of wedlock is not something I would find to be honorable.  Yes - an old and outdated concept of no real use in the modern world simply established as an excuse to continue the oppression of womyn.  Tsk, Tsk.

Wedding is an explicit acknowledgement of your responsibility before the rest of society (most importantly both sides of your family)  that this woman and her subsequent children are your responsibility.  Certainly this can be done with a court order - but thats sort of trashy..... and about as classy as chewing tobacco.  Patriarchal oppression - Yep.   But you will get along much better with the in-laws if you are, in fact, an in-law, instead of, for example, Baby Daddy Number 4.  It's just the way people are...  Getting along with the in-laws will make your life easier - trust me on this.

With regards to the religious part of it - I could give a rat's ass -  

You can make a very good logical argument that only the state's involvement in the institution of marriage makes marriage a reasonable choice and that it is essentially just a financial issue - more power to you.   But anybody who doesn't think money isn't important... honestly why are you on a P4P board anyway...

I don't make the rules, I just use them....

Back to you.....

If not, how about minding your own fucking business.  Do I owe you an explanation ?  Does anyone ?  And who exactly is the 'we' you speak for ?

that's funny , but really nice . and that's why you da man ..  
your all right nick !  

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learly Mr. sulky pants didn't like it. Okay, take your ball and piss off. Yeah, you must be a real looker to go with the asshole attitude.  

A zookeeper? Really? And you are GQ material right? Don't blame your wife for 100% of the downfall of your sex life. You are in the marriage too. How about putting down the donuts and hitting the gym. She possibly finds you as repulsive as you find her. And she is possibly very happy with her laptop and so freaking glad you are not up in her grill trying to dry hump her leg.  

Happy Friday DB

.........she's my 'ex' and for very good reason; but next time I hear from her I'll let her know that you've bravely defended her honor.  That will likely help improve her sense of dignity and self respect.  Thank you.

And for the record, at 55 years old I'm a lot closer to 'GQ material' than 'not GQ material'; but I work at it very hard because I'd like to live a long, healthy and fit life.

....simply wrong in my opinion and that's about what I said.  If you are really a provider, you must be quite an actress since you have such disdain for so many married men (and I'm not one).  I would increase the meds, they aren't working.

-- Modified on 4/18/2014 7:17:10 PM

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There are no assholes in this world, only angry hookers.  

Yuuuuuup!

I am sure she is far happier with you out of her life.  

And all johns look more like GQ than Jabba the Hut,. I read that a lot on a fuck board. That's what makes it even funnier. Your side of the truth, there are two others.

but I hope at least someone is still fucking her. I don't have an ounce of ill will remaining for my ex wife, I hope that she is enjoying her life, but I don't really care enough to look her up to find out. I bought my freedom, and it would have been worth it for twice the price, but that doesn't mean I wish her any ill.