Going a little off topic of wives who don't want sex, let's go back a few steps.

but every civvie gal I ever went out with and had sex with always got a call back looking for more.

I'm just bringing up the topic!  I've heard a lot of guys complain about why it takes so long to have sex with a civie, but I don't think they know the womans perspective

as a woman who loves women I can tell you that none of the girls I dated were shy about having or asking for sex. But then again none of us were "falling in love" - we were all just looking for some action. If any of the gals I dated would have started using the "love" word, I don't think that I would have called her back either! The last thing anyone wants is to feel trapped and thereby obligated to call someone, especially if that someone starts looking for things (like commitment) that others are not yet ready for.

Most girls are looking for commitment, yet do not want to be in a committed relationship...

Betrayal hurts, yes. Professional victims are always betrayed and hurt.

Not guys that pick up bottles and save bottles they get with food stamps. polygamy or pearl marriage is for the woman who like the cow / bull effect.  

just not interested in sex with me.

On the rate occasion I found one who was, believe me, I called her, a lot.

I think this is a two-way street you are describing here.

When talking about spouses, we're talking about people making the ultimate commitment to each other.   For life.  Better or worse.  Til death do we go our separate ways.. Etc. etc. etc.   If you are suggesting that women may not want sex due to trauma at an early age, that is not something I could competently debate and will accept what you say 100%.  But chances are in this day and age spouses had already gotten past that stage by having sex before marriage and the man (and i'll use man only because it was in your example as obviously there are same sex spouses too) then committing to her for life (the eternal call back)... or so it seemed.    

I believe that after a month long barrage of non stop calls from him, any woman would long for the days of meeting "jerks" who never call.

If you have ever been on the receiving end of one of his PM campaigns, I am sure you will understand EXACTLY what I am talking about.

and then admits that "of course it was self serving bullshit, what did you expect from a whore mongering pig?"

My situation was a bit different from most, I more or less cut my wife off from sex as I quit finding her attractive, not the other way around. IMO, I did the right thing by her and divorced her, allowing both her and I to reclaim our freedom, and not force each other to live in a sexless marriage. My solution was not the same one that everybody in my situation would have chosen, but the last twenty something years of my life have been great, and I hope so have hers.

It appears that I haven't had the same bad luck with civvies that many/most of the other guys here have had. I have to confess that I almost always know whether a civvie chick likes me enough to fuck me after the first date or two at the longest, and while sometimes it might take an additional date or two before she "gives it up" I have rarely been "strung along" by any civvie chicks in my life.

Maybe it's because I am only interested in women who actually "Like" sex, and that even the term "giving it up" is an improper one in most cases as it implies that she is giving up something she doesn't want to, where in reality sex should be a mutual decision where both parties actually want to be intimate. and I guess women that don't like sex probably don't see me as a very good long term investment and pass through my life so quickly as to barely merit a foot note. lol

Keep in mind, most of the guys here are 50 or even 60+ year old married guys whose only knowledge or recollection of single sex goes back to the 1970's lol

I too am well over 50, but I have spent the vast majority of my adult life single, so maybe that gives me a different perspective of single dating.

That said, I still disagree with the premise that most civvie chicks don't want to "put out" That has not been my experience, and it's certainly not the reason I am here. I am here because I am a whore mongering pig who want's to live like a rock star, but was only blessed with average looks even when young, and I certainly don't have enough game to get a different twenty something into my bed every night.

Now am I guilty of "fucking and then not calling"??? I would say in the overwhelming majority of the time, NO. Have I ever fucked a girl and then never called her again? Well yes, guilty as charged, but that is really an anomaly for me and only happens when I either fucked some pig while drunk, (excuse my frankness here) and woke up the next morning with that "Oh what the fuck did I do last night?" feeling. Or when I just felt I was about to get into a very dysfunctional relationship with either a BSC, needy, clingy, or abusive type relationship that would be better off cut off at the beginning, saving us both a lot of heartache in the future.

The closest thing you will find here to what you are looking for would be Tiddles, but there is so much estrogen running through his blood and he has been so thoroughly feminized by being raised in an "all female family" that his opinion hardly speaks for other men of his generation.

But yes, sometimes guys are jerks. That is hardly a new phenomenon. If you are hearing that guys are "victims" your perspective might be skewed a bit by listening to a bunch of unhappy johns that love to bitch about their unhappy sex lives. I am certainly no victim of civvie chicks, but neither am I a villain who seduces and dumps civvie chicks either. That's what the hobby is for. lol

Very true.

I mean this sincerely and here my rationale. Once upon a time is was commonplace for women to "save themselves" for weeks, months, or even years before having sex with a guy, and back then sex was supposed to lead somewhere, namely marriage.

Fast forward to the 21 century era of instant gratification, I suggest that by making these guys wait, she is "mystifying" sex and creating unrealistic expectation on the part of her suitors. I think it's possible that the build up is so much, and the anticipation so high, that the reality of actually having sex can't compete with the fantasy of what is supposed to be some magical moment that turns out to be "just sex"

I think she may be setting these guys up for a let down as we all know that reality doesn't have a prayer of competing with fantasy. If maybe she would get the sex part out of the way before investing so much time on the part of both parties, there won't be this feeling of betrayal on her part or disappointment on the part of the guys she is dating?

For the record, I would never wine and dine a woman for months in the hopes of "finally" getting into her pants. Either it comes naturally, I dump her well before months go by, or I put her into the category of "just friends" the type of female friend where I schedule a session with a hooker right before or right after our "real" date, so I know I will still be getting laid that night. lol

I wasn't talking about married sex.  I was talking about single sex.  Is there anyone under age 100 here?

To my original post.

My best friend who is a gorgeous young civie girl (super hot, fit, smart, has a great career), will go out with guys who wine and dine her for months and when she finally sleeps with them, they go totally cold on her.  Occasionally, they DO NOT CALL HER EVER AGAIN.

sometimes guys are jerks.  

What woman with a "modicum of self-respect" would debase herself to see him in the first place?

and for him to find any of this so called self respect of his own, he would need to be looking with an electron microscope. It's funny how the guys are always talking about the woman's self esteem issue, he is a prime example of how that works both ways.

It happens both ways. In the pre-sex part of dating, everyone is just displaying the best part of themselves and I think people get carried away by their fantasies of what-could-be along with their hormonal desires. Then the sex finally happens and it's somewhere along the spectrum of awesome-to-eh-to-awful. And when they wake up in the morning they're able to reevaluate the relationship with a clear mind.    

Hallmark is hiring! Holy crap Batman!

If you keep talking like this, I am going to have to remove you from the BSU contenders list. lol

and to add what you said about sex becoming either a reward or trophy. The shelf life of sex as an enticement for commitment seems to be a rather short one. and the longer one waits, the less likely one is going to think it was worth the wait after finally "scoring".

How would you know if you're being punished by some gal?  

I can certainly relate..its quite a dilemma

I can totally relate to this. Being single, I date a lot in my personal life. In NYC there is no end to both Indian and Non-Indian men who appreciate Indian women and so I end up going on a lot of fun dates in an attempt to meet "my beloved".  
In the past I have experienced times where I got caught up in the moment, did something physical a little sooner than my intuition instructed me to do with a man and he disappeared soon after. After much confusion, sadness and heartache I have learned some valuable lessons in dating and intimacy. In my personal life I've learned to give the man some more time and space to chase me..I find that men often value that which they have to work just a little hard to attain.  
 
As a provider what the above means for me is that I actually get to let loose and express my sensuality and sexuality with a lot more freedom and virtually no emotional fear with the men I see as clients. The best sexual experiences for me are with clients as I do not have to worry about if the guy is going to call me tomorrow, if I should slow down, or what judgements a man is making about me. This frees up my headspace to just enjoy my sexual beast and enjoy the erotic animal deep in my body that longs to come out and play.  
 
I think that dating can be tricky and I'm just grateful that I enjoy my work as a Courtesan since I get to have an outlet to unleash my pent up desires and make a fantastic living while providing a really valuable service in the world.  
 
--SD

Men and women both use sex as a weapon.  

I've found the lighter my  kiss at her door the first time out, the better my  chance at  her hoping I'll call for a second date.
 
   Most civilian women, if they're worth the pursuit, will be turned off if a guy tries for sex on the first or second date, especially if she's  gorgeous .  
 
 Many women will have a suspicion the guy she is dating must be Homosexual if he doesn't go for her booty or at least grope her bosoms by the third  date.  
 
  I don't care what she believes, the longer she's  guessing the better she plays the  game,  
   and the less inhibited she'll be on our fifth date, tenth date if she's a stunning beauty .  
 
   Most guys who complain a lot about women never figure things out on their own.  
 

For being able to relate.  We are in the same generation.  Yes, it's a dilemma.  If you let the guy court you and chase you and finally have sex, he may immediately dump you since the chase is over.

The thing is, there's not so much a sense of conquest or having to have sex with her. Sometimes it just goes that way. By the time I'd get tired of her, no longer found her that attractive, or had my eye on someone else, by that time we were connected enough that there was a "relationship." A relationship I wanted to get out of.

and my civvie-limit on waiting is not that long. I don't need the games or the trophy either.

Maybe someday during your travels, if you have a layover in the real world check it out, it's not so bad

I can trust that if I don't hide the Pinwheels they'll be gone before I get back from the bank. Trust means knowing what a person wants, what they assume is the wise way to behave, and how they see the world and their place in it. If you take time to learn all that about a person, you'll have a chance of predicted how they'll probably react to whatever comes their way, and to some degree you can TRUST that your understanding of the person will bring some calm acceptance of what they do. Or you'll decide you don't want to play any role in their life at all.

If you're looking for someone's true self you peel away all the roles they play, and at the end, you find there is nothing at the core. They are nothing more than the roles they play, just like the onion is nothing more than the layers you peel away.

WTF?!

WTF am I doing here??? Meddling with Morons!!! Then I realize it takes one to know one and I'm at peace with the world.

Grow some why don't ya.

Or maybe your friend is a lousy lay?  My guess is that 99.8% of the ladies here do not have that potential risk.  

Hot young ladies put SO much pressure on me to have sex that it's just not fair... and then sometimes don't even send me flowers the next day.  I'M NOT A MACHINE!