if that much your reviews!

& really...how much are you really working for a BJ!!!

being new to the hobby, and having been deprived of sex for too long, at first i set about reclaiming lost time, and even my lost youth.  i pressed, trying to compete with the reviews, as though each session was a sexual multi-athalon.   i have avoided injury and tonight wish to report a nuance to my "game". now i just lay there, lazy, expecting to be thoroughly sated by the provider.  very relaxing, much more sensual -- though sometimes now the provider has to wake me up to send me home.  providers, which type client do you prefer, the athlete that brings his game to you making you cum and cum and cum or the wine guzzling sultan who expects to be fed grapes while you sit on his sword?  hobby-men, is there any way you can accept me now, knowing of this deviant, slothful behavior?  do you secretly long to try it yourself?  i have found that laziness is its own reward.

You're one of THOSE guys that walk in, put the envelope down, or the lady walks in and finds the envelope in the bathroom, what-fucking-ever.

She tells you to get comfortable, meaning take your clothes off, IF you didn't already have some kind of 'talk' beforehand where you could actually enjoy their company, have a drink or two and talk about anything under the sun.

Well, I'd expect that from the 1 hour guys. Mikey don't play that way. And know quite a few others that don't either.

You want a sexual multi-marathon? Book 2 or 2+ hours. And let the lady get to know your ass beforehand.

And don't treat them like a piece of meat. That all they have to do is cater to your stupid ass just because you gave them money.

I'm going to tell you right fucking now WTF is wrong with you, if infact this is a serious post.

You treat a lady with respect. It's her job, and she's there to please you. For a price.

But don't treat her like a plaything. Just because you pay her doesn't mean you own her.

You are RENTING her time. What she does with her time is up to her, not you.

I'm gonna make me another drink and see where this goes....

half or more of the fun for me is getting her in the game.  The get it in your head post a couple days ago that providers do not cum is against all that I want in a session.  I would be able to lay back if I knew she could but not in a first session. Of course I love to work.

... fast, slow, gentle, hard I like a mix/variation so with the guys it's the same. I told a client today sometimes I like the easy ones I admit it but sometimes like guys like him I enjoy those who can give me a really REALLY good workout. So... the ones who wanna make you sweat or wanna be the doted on i'll take both i'm greedy

Well on one hand, I understand your reasoning.

On the other, there is a reason why "She just laid there" is used to describe an awful hobby experience. The gender of the one who just lays there doesn't change the outcome much.

I hate guys who just lay back and do nothing. I'm not a mind reader, and I'm not going to spend an hour trying to figure out what makes you tick. Sex is mutual. When I say goodbye to a guy who spent an hour on his back just laying there, I am usually thinking to myself "why didn't he just buy an interactive masturbation device instead?" And chances are, I won't be seeing you again.

Just my 0.05 (adjusted for inflation)

and it was awesome!  Early in my ventures in the hobby, I encountered a local provider who completely man-handled me (or was it woman-handled? LOL). She was all over me as soon as I entered her room.  I was on my back for the entire hour, while she worked me over like the true fantasy nymph that she was.   When she discovered that I was a guy with a lower sensitivity level, it was like she found the mother lode.  Luckily I brought an energy drink for her, so she had plenty of gas in the tank.  8 O's later, she then finished me off for my first hobby CIM.  Damn, I thought I died and went to heaven, it was that awesome.  I didn't feel guilty about it, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to tell anyone about my encounter ....... but eventually I wrote a review ........ it was just to good to keep to myself. (I'm sure that the orgasm doubters out there are rolling their eyes as they read this, but I really could care less ........ LOL)  I instantly became a regular, and try to share more of the load whenever we visit ......... however, she still likes to dominate me, even though I'm a big guy.

For new encounters, I play it by ear, and usually end up with a shared approach.  

So, I wouldn't call you lazy or a deviant ........ rather, you are merely asking for the services you've paid for to be delivered in a certain manner (at least, that's what I tell myself ... LOL)  There are many lovely ladies out there are very giving, and like nothing better than to please a man (or deliver a very believable facsimile thereof .... LOL), so when you find one who is accomodating, then sit back and enjoy.  

I would caution you on over indulging, though, especially if you have a lot of staying power.  I recently encounterd a provider who was described as born to give head  (I took the reviews with a grain of salt ... LOL).  So when he got down to it, she began the sloppiest, most sensual and epic triple BJ that I had ever received .......... so I did exactly what you would do .......... laid back and enjoyed it.  20 minutes later, I was feeling a bit guilty and suggested that we don a cover and go for the gusto; she reluctantly agreed, but said that she wasn't through with me yet .... LOL.  After working our way through several positions, she asked if I was ready for a second round of french ......... her suggestion, not mine ........ so I eagerly (and selfishly .... LOL) agreed.  After another long period of pure heaven, she looked up, laughed at me and asked if I knew that my butt was sitting in this big wet spot (her saliva).  I then had to literally had to pull her off, as it was time to finish in my favorite position.  Well, this story didn't have the perfect ending ......... after a great finish, I began to notice some throbbing as I was removing the cover.  Damn, this gal had sucked me into submission ........ a first for me, as my dick was really sore, so much so that I was on the DL the next day.  No long term problem, but I did have to spend a day in Vegas w/o sex ......... truly a bummer.

.  

this isn't fricken eHoemoney!

Nice rant, but I saw nothing in the OP's post that indicated a lack of respect for the providers.  Actually, I took it to be a bit tongue-in-cheek, all the while presenting a worthy topic that would engender some meaningful and light-hearted discussion.  Try checking in with your sense of humor ......... having a good laugh now and then does a body good!
 

Can be refreshing.

As for the type of client I prefer - One who is clean, polite and pays. As for everything else, he can be active or lazy. His choice. I will adjust and do what it takes to make him happy regardless.

Don't take that tone with Sweet Dick Danny!  A ride on me is magical, Disney fairy sprinkles and all, pal.  The gals are never the same, even if I just lay there!  Oh yeah, I'm doing the world a favor just being alive.  You can hear the cries of ecstasy at the north pole and I'm not even tryin'.  Sweet-Dick-Danny, don't forget!

Re: .eom.. Yeah Right

Your man comes to the rescue to tell the other that he thought that was Mikey's way of humor.

That is just plain fucking stupid and wrong. For you to put up the shit you do and in your drunken stupor I suppose, then claim or have others claim for you that it IS JUST YOU, is plain fucking lame.

There is nothing wrong with the OP's post and the information he sought. What he did not seek is the moronic, self-gratifying comments and insults that you threw at him with no just cause other than to be the same old dumb fucking drunk you have always been.

Then YOU of all god damn people are to give advice on how to treat a lady? Jesus Christ fool, you forgot to tell him that he needs to learn other quality traits of a top notch hobbyist. That would of course be manipulating the ladies time after you did get the pleasure of meeting her, and calling incessantly and ad nausea. Please inform the OP how many girls turn you down now that you’ve exposed yourself as a cyber-stalker and time waster. Please do not tell me to not go away mad but to just go away. As long as you keep acting the fool and insulting people on these boards, I will be there to knock your shit down and put you in your place. You can have all the fellow drunks you want to defend you, but they know you for what you really are. They just want to be friend is all.

You’re a nuisance to this board and The Erotic Review. There have been plenty other ass-hats before you. It just takes someone with enough balls and end of patience with you to can you for good. That would mean banishment.

You post this shit and then say something like that under an alias?  Gosh!  What big balls you have!  Balls about as big as mine to flame you under this nice, new alias I invented just for you!  The difference is, I'm just responding to your fucking gutless alias, which is all you deserve.
As for MP's post, I was confused by it, and by the response.  The difference between you and me is, my reaction was, "Who cares?"  I don't think either of us really knows who/what MP is or isn't.  The difference is, you pretend to and I don't.  
I wonder why?  Perhaps it's because you've forgotten you're on a fucking hooker/john board and not some civvie dating site.
Now please STFU and go away.

"Enough balls" indeed. It was quite nice of you to be so stupid as well as to misunderstand the writings of another. The comment of "It just takes someone with enough balls" is referring to someone in authority, which is NOT either you nor I. I'm talking about the powers that be. Perhaps that got lost on you.

As for "Who Cares?", why the quote? Those are your original words not mine. This however represents a quotation on your "Who Cares?" comment.  But look, English not being your first language, perhaps you can tell me/us why you chose to leap on my post of all others.

You can chose all you want to ignore and and claim "Who Cares?" all you want. Stick your head in the sand that is okay with me. I choose to jump on his fucking pathetic ass each and every time in his drunken stupor, he feels the need to bitch-slap some poor OP who is asking simple questions attempting to generate simple discussion. Perhaps too simple eh? He is always going to punch someone in the throat, or meet them in a dark alley or even drive to their home town. lmfao, what hard can he do when he does not know where anyone is? Not the point though. There is no excuse for his behavior on this board even if it IS a "hooker/john board". See, that's how you use quotation marks. Oh, and it matters not if this is TER or Match.com, there is always room for civility and natural discourse.

My gentleman's discourse to you would also be to "STFU and go away" and do so soon. lmfao

I read your post quite well and my response works either way for anyone whose first language is English.  You talk about needing someone with balls when you have none yourself.  Do you get it now, asswipe?  As for the rest of your half-assed whining, you are waaaay to over-involved in what I or anyone else post on this board.  And talk about bullshit: "there is always room for civility and natural discourse????"  ROFLMFAO!  You didn't like the guy's flame so you turned your own flame-thrower all the way up.  But I guess when you do it it's OK.  Fucking hypocrite.
So, yes, STFU and go away.

Yeah, it's always cool to see some fuckheads get their panties all in a twist. Huh, 'ImCallingBullshit'...

Actually, I'm diggin' on SweetDickDanny's reply to my post to his thread. That was cool! Not as cool as FellowDrunk gettin' my back, but cool none the less.

*sigh*, but just another reason why it's UNcool to attack someone from behind an alias.

I dig romeogolf and mrfisher's take on the subject, which I'm going to try very hard to adopt....

'If you don't know who the ass-hat is that is talking shit about you or to you, blow 'em off'.

They're just crying out for attention and don't have the nerve to say who they are because that would make them worse than me.

But I do admit, ICB, calling me a stalker then coming out with, in your own words, 'I will be there to knock your shit down and put you in your place'. Yikes! You've basically made a threat to me infront of everyone. Not sure if 'the powers that be' that you so vehemently pray to ban me would take too kindly to that if say, I did a problem report on you?

At least if something happened to you on the boards you'd know why and whom it came from.

I think that's a great fucking idea!

Said it before, and apparently I have to say it again. Anyone want to know MY version of the story, send me a PM. Email me. Call me. Ask by carrier pigeon. I don't give a fuck.

Please. Commence. Mikey would like more ammo... lol!