Most of my encounters were peaceful cuz I don't like to cause trouble.  

One of the craziest provider ever was this bait and switch girl who accused me of something I never did as a revenge after I walked out on her.  Caused some  drama back then.

Another one argued with me and she cried for twenty minutes,  accused me of stuff,  I thought she was on drugs but she was just depressed.  
 I almost walked out.  oddly,  she and I made up and became friends

 I hooked up with one lady out of the Boston Phoenix adult classifieds.  Things were going great until she, all of the sudden, started crying hysterically, berating herself for a long litany of life mistakes she had made that I’ll never repeat, and then started rocking back an forth making strange humming noises.  I sat with that woman for a little over three hours holding her and doing what I could, all of the time wondering WTF is going to happen now, until her roommate came back and gave me a look that would melt lead.  I explained what happened, she said, “Oh, she does that,” and that was that.  

 Would have been great to have had a review on that one before I went. One of the reasons why I love TER.

-- Modified on 3/10/2014 9:09:28 AM

Crying must be common.

Not really a crazy story, but recently a client and I were spending the night in a hotel and I asked him if we could order a movie on TV.  We ordered Lone Survivor, the movie about the 19 navy seals who got killed in Afganistan.

I was fine throughout most of the movie, but once the helicopter got shot down, I couldn't hold back and just started bawling (and he quickly turned it off.)  That was absolutely the only time I have ever cried in front of a client and kindof embarrassing.

You should've seen me after Denver loss the super bowl.

I saw a provider who had her TS pimp greet me outside the apartment door. He knocked on the door to get her to lets us in the incall. She gave him the money and he laughed how crisp the 20's were. He left then when the session started I asked are we going to the bedroom. She said no on the floor. That is correct right on the carpet on the floor. She had 2 dogs in a cages in the living room a pit-bull and a lassie dog. Her boyfriend was in the back bed room watching us, lol. She told me not to kiss her because her boyfriend would go crazy.

Several other times different provider(s) would not let me use the bathroom. I had to use a empty water bottle or other container to pee in.

-- Modified on 3/10/2014 10:00:48 AM

END OF MESSAGE

I watched that movie twice so I know it was a good movie  
Kept me on edge the whole friggin time

END OF MESSAGE

Had an outcall and was seeing my date off at the door. She asked which way were the elevators? I couldn't quite remember myself so I stretched my head out in the hall to look and didn't quite catch the door before it clicked shut. Had to go down to get another key.

At least this happened at 2am so only about three people were exposed to the horror.

I used to live in Pennsylvania before I moved to DC.  That's where I got acquainted to  mongering. . Forget TER, in this small town in PA, I was glad that there was Internet. The people were sweet though. But that's for another time. I used to mainly monger through AMPs, an agency, and an illegal brothel that a woman operated. COPs must have been pretty cool too, since the place was in business for about 10-15 yrs.  

Upon getting new job, and moving to DC, I knew I had to find me some new hookers. So guess what. I did the brilliant thing. Y'all think Turdwell is brilliant.. I was twice that. I hit Yellow Pages, and found some stupid ass agency. Told them if they could send a nice Latina with a booty to my apartment. No I really said that.. "Send me a nice Latina with a booty". I kid you not. The lady told me it was $350/hr. "Oh no problem.." I got money.. I was so dumb.. This was back in the days when we could get a good provider to come to you, in DC area, for about $250

For 10:30 P.M. appointment, she showed up at 12:00 A.M. I had passed out on the couch already. Drool running down my cheek had created a nice wet spot on the carpet. Very geometric. A little bit of pizza was left from the dinner. Looking at the slice of pepperoni pizza in the box, she said, "Oh you must not be Muslim.."  This was about 3-4 months after 9/11, so there was a very high Anti Muslim Sentiment in the country. Way to start small talk and kill my boner...

Turned out, that I didn't need a boner because she dropped the 2nd bomb right afterwards saying that is only companionship appointment. She told me if I had something on my mind, I could tell her, and that prostitution was illegal. I felt like crying. After about 15 min of chatting, I asked her if there was a possibility of something more, if I tip her additional $100.  She said for another $150, she will give me a nice handjob. I said, if I was going to get hot shower with it, I would do it.  So we were having some fun in the shower, and she doesn't like the soap I have Another bummer. She says, its not her brand.. Ok whatever... FUCK YOU..  

Then she starts telling me how she can't get her hair wet, because she just spent $80 getting it done.. $80 bucks.. What is she Juila Roberts? I need some women to confirm this... I get a damn haircut for $15 plus $5 tip. The tip is for her not to ask me personal questions.. Sorry, I digress.  

So we are playing in hot water and there is a heavy knock on the door. More like a thud. It almost sounded like someone shot someone with a shotgun and the body propelled in the air, and hit my door. Now this is my very first experience guys.. So bear with me here. I go holy fuck..."COPS"..."MOM".... What the fuck.. She starts laughing.... She says.. "Its my driver" He always checks on me. She quickly disappears and calls him on his cell phone.. All good..  Back to shower.  

After shower, we head to my bedroom, where she proceeds to give me a decent hand job. I did not appreciate the taunt that she made after I came. She said the cum was too much.. I was saddened.  I told her I was backed up and very horny. Did I tell you guys, where I came.. I came on her stomach...  

So to sum  up.. $500, 90 min late, crazy driver, attitude like she shits gold, but nonetheless a decent handjob..

I knew I had to find something better. In next few days I found TER. The day I found it, I stayed up all night drinking soda (soda has caffeine and helps you to stay up) and reading reviews.. I even jerked off to a couple of them.... The well written ones.. What did I know, I was 22

-- Modified on 3/10/2014 10:33:38 AM

Don't want others in the room,  especially another dude

Got to the hotel, called in and got her room # 5 minutes later.  Went up, door's open, no girl, but Housekeeping is inside.  Back to lobby and call agency.  Told to wait 5 minutes and go back up.
Return to room.  No girl.  Housekeeping still there.  Back to lobby again and call agency.
As I'm talking to them, the girl from the agency's pictures walks through lobby talking to her agency, explaining she'd gone out for a bottle of water.  I tell the agency I see her and and am told to go up in 5.
I do, she's there, I go in.  Now it gets worse.
She asks me to shower, so I do.  Then she goes into the bathroom.  Comes out with blood running down her leg from a shaving cut.  I point this out and she goes back in.  Comes back with toilet paper stuck to leg.  Big turn-on, no?
Starts giving me mediocre head, but toilet paper falls off, she starts bleeding again, all over sheets. I point this out and she goes back to bathroom.  Comes back and blood is finally stopped but the mood is ruined.  Crappy bbbj doesn't help.  Dick now limp.
She looks up and says, "I'm not a miracle worker, you know."  Says we should stop and she'll give me back $100.
Asks, "You're not going to write a bad review, are you?"
And, yes, this actually happened.  When I spoke to the agency later they gave me $100 off my next session.

Yelp that is ghetto bp providers. One time I walked thru the living room and a providers brother was sitting in chair in a daze just looking as we walked by. Talk about a tense moment. While we were fucking in the basement (no heat) her 3 year ran down the steps saying moma. She jumped up and made her kid go back up stairs. She got on her sister and brother case for not watching the kids.

was apparently spotted on streets of DC in middle of winter in his underwear, drunk like a skunk, hailing a cab.  

Not sure if its true or not. Someone told me. I haven't researched it. Take it for what its worth...

-- Modified on 3/10/2014 10:42:35 AM

The day was far from total loss, I ended up going upstairs three different times with the same Chica during the game, so I least I was getting laid while I was getting fucked. One of the very few times I've done the same woman three times in such a short period of time.

hooker, her aunt flo, and your's truly, and while you may think it as weird, I truly enjoyed it.  

Of course, goes w/o saying that everything was protected. I also did not DATY.

I am getting my cup of coffee to write all this down...
Where to begin?

I recently re-started escorting. My high school bff started escorting right after high school, so I went hand-in-hand with her, bc ya know, that's what best-ies do right?

Well, a year later, she got a nice MIB scare, so I ended up switching services.

I started to work for this bat-shit crazy lady, Denise, for Sweet Cherries, in Wichita Kansas; this was her baby, her upstart.
Fair enough.

One night we went to do an out-call, 2 guys, ordering 2 gals, we arrived at a house- I went upstairs with mine, her downstairs with hers.
I deftly handled my client, to which he immediately became drowsy, so I tucked him in his bed & cut his light off.
I meandered downstairs, sitting on the sofa....
(This is where is starts getting good.)
Denise comes running out the room, butt-naked, "OMG OMG OMG."
I hop up, thinking , has she been assaulted? I go into panic mode.
She tells me, "He swallowed it."
Me: HUH????
She starts laughing hysterically- "Not with his mouth!!!"
She creeps the door open, and shoves me to peek in.  
I see this poor bastard bent over the bed, on all fours, gaped booty hole- and him sobbing & wailing....
"Get it out!!!!!"
By this time I figure it out.
She was using a vibrator on this guy, on the back door, and he.... swallowed it.  
Yup.
Then she laughs wildly (yes, this bitch had a look of pure sadistic glee written all over her face!)  
she says to me, "And I was using baby-oil! So now his ass and my hand is so slick, I can't grab the damned thing." I walk over to ass-es the situation, she tells me "watch this"-
She is snickering, and works not just a couple of fingers, but damned near her whole hand into this poor guys anus. He is bellowing by now...
"Get this out of me!!!!! I can NOT go to the hospital! My wife works at the hospital and she is up there right now!!!!" So this kind of sets me into sympathy panic for him....
So thinking as hard as I can, I say "Hold on I have an idea."
I go racing back to the kitchen, thinking, surely these people have some salad tongs or SOME DAMN whachamacallit that we can use to said foreign object out of poor basturds ass.
I start opening drawers.... Empty... empty.... empty....empty????
WTF????

The sense of panic starts to shift.
From panic, to paranoia.
I open the fridge, no food. Cabinets, no dishes, no food, not SHIT.
I start wondering if this is some kind of sting.
My hoe-dar is going off like crazy.
Something is just not right with this setup.
I race downstairs, again, tell him to go sit on the toilet & try to relax.
He goes in the bathroom, I pull her to the side- and tell her about the stage-kitchen with nothing in it. I am beyond freaked. I tell her we need to leave NOW.
(This time I am silently kicking my own ass for riding with her, because she is still giddy laughing & enjoying vibrator-swallowing-ass-man's agony.)  
Long story short, as I watched the second hand ticking, debating to leave out ON FOOT (we're in the middle of NOWHERE I mean, no cabs NOTHING) he sheepishly comes out the bathroom & holds up the butt-goo covered toy & asks her if she wants it back.
Ew. No comment.
She grabs her toy, washes it & her off, and I haul ass to the bat mobile.
And then this bitch says she wants more of a cut. Needless to say, she didn't get any of MY money.

This lady helped me get an apartment by hers by co-signing- then got mad because I have some non-white friends over (Arabic, Hispanic, Black- yeah I'm American like that), threatens to have me booted- which I disputed- because I found out NONE of the things she signed for her place or mine were her REAL name, all fictitious- huge blowout over her being racist-  
to which I quit.  
Not 10 days later, I heard the Feds got her because she didn't have an Escort Service License- (all of us girls in Wichita know we need individual  county & city licenses.) So she got a good 8 year sentence with the other crap to boot. Looks like I saw the snake in her just in time.

As far as My client?
Top 3 crazy things (fetish lol):
#1: Poo-poo platter guy. I squat, I poo, he eats. Nuff said. He would tip extra for fresh vomit.  
#2. Ping pong paddle guy. He picked 2 girls, we took turns spanking him so badly (SOUND OFF! 1! 2! 3! We took evens & odds lol) the material on the ping pong paddles is like a brand new basketball, rubbery with little round flat topped rubber nubs... His poor butt became inflamed, then the skin literally seeped tiny droplets of blood. That's when we quit.  
#3. Ballerina guy. Forced feminization, with tutu, makeup done sloppily quickly, with degrading talk "such a dirty little slut boy" then he would balance on the back of a chair, on a rolled up towel, on his crotch, toes up in the air, while getting talked shit to & tickle torture.... and yes, that made him get off.

So, enough crazy for ya? Bad thing is really happened. This is the kind of crap I WISH I could NOT remember

The provider I met cried and told me her life story as well.  
It was depressing and she was having what appeared to be anxiety or panic attack.  Either that or she was on drugs cuz she wasn't making much sense. She was making all kinds of accusations and got hysterical.  I had seen her before but she would ask crazy stuff like if I' m a cop trying to arrest her, or if I had stolen something from her,  etc.  Lol  I just sat there patiently trying to calm her down.  We just kept drinking and I obviously have no problem with that even though I like staying Sober before getting started cuz it affects my performance.  

It's one of the draw backs of seeing a new girl who has no reviews.  Sometimes it feels like walking on a minefield ,  some are diamonds in the rough while some are just BSC.  I took a gamble and stayed cuz she was both hot and BSC but still "workable".   Glad I did.

I don't think I was impressing that night.

END OF MESSAGE

After the beating that Denver took. I had Seattle by 4, but who could've saw Seattle by 35 or how ever many points. At least your team has gotten there on numerous occasions and won a couple. My team hasn't even gotten to the SB yet, Hell I'd take a beat down just to get there.

I saw a provider I had seen before. Booked 1 hour. After I popped she told me I had to go to let her pregnant roommate back into the hotel room. I had walked by the pregnant woman sitting on the steps outside (in the cold), but not realize it was her providers friend.

I had been watching her ad for a while.  We had a good session when I popped I had one of  the hardest cums every, i squirted 3 times. Went to the gym afterwords and flat benched 275 lbs and incline benched 245 lbs.

and I also had a session where the provider started to cry (And no, I didn't get her to stop by placing a paper bag over my head, wise guys!)

It turns out her father had just died, and she was from overseas and had no way to get home in time for the funeral.  Her relationship with him was quite the complicated one, as well.  We had already been seeing each other for a number of years, an got along very well, so I just tried to comfort her and let her tell her story the whole time.  In fact I still know her some 15 years later.  I'll be seeing her this weekend in fact.

But that's not even close to the strangest experience.  That would have to be the day that I was waiting in my hotel room for a gal I knew well to come along.  I heard the knock and opened the door wide to find....my (now ex) wife.  

It seems she saw my car parked out in front of the hotel (Take notes newbies, don't park a large red car in your home town out on the street to save some parking fees.  Put it in the garage.) and decided to snoop on me.  So, she went to the desk, showed her ID and explained that she was my wife and for some reason the phone isn't getting through so could they just give her the room number, which they did, of course.

Oh, and the provider came right along behind her with Laurel and Hardy-esque timing.

Come to think of it, she started crying too.

Maybe I should place that paper bag over my head more often.

I had Denver for the 1st Half and on the money line to win the game, and yes it was a beating

And to clarify Denver's not my team, I like Peyton Manning.... so I was rooting for them to win

I decided to just let her walk, and made another call.

This time I got a PYT who only did massage with a HE.  I liked that fine and had her come back each night of the 3 nights I was down there.  Her rate was very reasonable too.

On the second night I talked her into letting me massage her, and by the third night we were in fuck-fest mode.  (All for the same rate, but I was giving her bigger tips.)

Nothing like softening up a sweet young gal.  And I didn't even have to wear a paper bag over my head!

Gals:  Be prepared; bring along a supply of prunes just in case.

Got caught not once but twice in the "I'm only here to keep you company" scam the 2nd time accompanied by a threat of blacklisting.  I can still feel the pain and anger. Thank the maker for TER.

I was just getting fucked lol

I do remember you telling me If I played long enough there would be days where we'd get fucked.... but I'm sure there's no pain a beautiful Chica can't eas

END OF MESSAGE

In early 90s, I had very little knowledge about sex..lol

Thanks for the kewpie doll ^_^

I deserve something dammit for all that! lmao

On a much later note, at the age of 33, coming back into hobbying- I have been getting such NICE normal guys who act timid about even touching my boob. Seriously? If these guys had any inkling the far-fetched crap I was exposed to as a "baby-escort" at age 18....*sigh* I am so very thankful for the hobby men in my life now that I can enjoy damn near as much as they do me. They are so Vanilla- and I like it. I already had too much sprinkles n prune juice hazed experiences, I am personally turned off by it. I like sex, but some of that shit was beyond the beyond.
Not saying I wouldn't go there again for a nice stack of ben's, but I discovered on this adventure called life, what my limits are to my morbid curiosity & now know better. It ain't "for me."

I could handle it if thrown my way though

Lol I think I met the same girl from the same agency lo

There have been many over the years but two of them come to mind right now. I have written about both of them on the board previously.

1) Many years ago on a car date with a SW: We were in a medical clinic parking lot. (After hours, dark, no other cars, nobody around...or so we thought.) Right after CIM, she opens the door to spit it out and almost opened it into some guy! I don't know if he just happened to be walking by at the wrong time, or if he had been standing there watching us, or if he was about to rob us, or if he was her pimp. She screamed at him, "Get the fuck out of here!" I jumped over the seat naked to get into the driver seat, started the car and hauled ass out of there. I drove about a half mile away, both of us buck naked, until I found someplace to pull over where we could get dressed. While we were doing this, she tells me that she got robbed, at gunpoint, in that same parking lot a week prior! Geez! Thanks! You couldn't have told me that before we parked there and got naked?!

2) She fell asleep: This just happened last summer. Mid DATY she fell asleep on me. I was thinking I must really either be really bad at DATY or really good to put her to sleep. Eventually she awoke, then started on a BBBJ, and fell asleep again with my dick in her mouth!

I started a thread on this one and it turned into a train wreck.

And she was from Europe.  Worst hooker I ever met.  By far.

Glad he shitted it out in time without needing tools lmao

 
I don't really get why some guys are into those things but whatever floats their boat. Maybe cuz I am a bit on the conservative side and traditional in some ways

END OF MESSAGE

if you want a little adventure, and are not terribly going to get bent out of shape if you don't end up getting laid.

END OF MESSAGE

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I think that might have been her , looked nothing like her pic .  
She also complained to me about being arrested !
Lol I got the 100 dollar credit also.  
Also my worse experience by far

END OF MESSAGE

ut that's not even close to the strangest experience.  That would have to be the day that I was waiting in my hotel room for a gal I knew well to come along.  I heard the knock and opened the door wide to find....my (now ex) wife.  

I'd love for that to happen to me, after all she is your ex. I'd tell my ex in that situation "excuse me, I'm about to get a blow job" and usher the provider in. That's beautiful!

Very few reviews and some were mediocre.  But I'd already missed out on a date and let me little head do the thinking.  I think the girl was Czech, or something like that.

Was with a lady I liked a lot and had seen a few times before and her partner, who worked in the second story of the townhouse they were in.  Her partner was 20 years younger, had the same hair color and you guessed it, turned out to be her daughter.

Luckily (?) Mom cancelled the day before and retired.  Mother and daughter together would have been just on the far side of my perv-o-meter.  At least I didn't know.  A friend here on TER tipped me off, although I should have picked up on their similar features.  But the little head was doing the thinking.

Been seeing the daughter though...  Not as talented or as much fun (yet, she's shy) as Mom, but gorgeous.

END OF MESSAGE

you could forget, and I am glad she got hers, There is room for every one but a cheat

Go Tribe!

END OF MESSAGE

ATF...  possibly former ATF after last stunt...  been seeing her on & off for 6-7 years.   Seems like every year or so has another high drama incident.

First one mid session, has to answer personal phone so family does not come beating on the door.  It's her sister, who's using her trailer (yes, trailer) and supposed to be paying the bills on it...  except sis has neglected to pay the lot fees & now landlord is proceeding with eviction.  ATF, proceeds to have emotional argument while I'm cooling off.  I get my naked ass up & am heading for the bathroom...  to give her some privacy & wondering if I can get the F*** out of Dodge.  But my clothes are in the bedroom.  She demands loudly "Where the F*** do you think you're going?"  In a moment of weakness (and she still had my clothes) I lied & just said "bathroom".    
After it was over...  took her 1/2 hour to get calmed down...  we resumed but even then her head wasn't in it.  Glad I had plenty of time that day.  Not the best but I did get what I came for.

A year later, she had the same argument with the same sister...  ruined another session.  After all the tears, she kicked the sister out & surrendered the lot.  

We're having a post session lunch...  neighbors proceed to have a drunken picnic (ATF said drugs)  in their back yard...  with huge speakers aimed at her place & sets her dogs off.  So she proceeds to duel with them, repeatedly tripping the panic alarm in car with the remote.  Jesus!  Draw attention or what?  I tried to calm her down so we could eat...  & get the F*** out of Dodge.  

The latest...  the last couple of years my sessions had to later because I couldn't get out of the house as early.  I stopped & bought us fixings for a picnic lunch before getting on the highway as I've been doing.  I always call just as I got on the interstate.  I call & she goes off on me.  Where am I?  Why aren't I there already, etc?  If I hadn't already promised I was on my way, I would have scratched.  It's another hour's drive, I get there & she's still fuming!  Honestly I didn't do anything I hadn't in the last 2 years...  buy lunch, same arrival schedule.   She really had a melt down...  was very abusive.  As best I can figure, she'd forgotten the schedule & neither of us had thought to confirm it.  Shared blame.  Because of the abuse I was about to walk out.  Eventually I got her to listen to my explanation...   we had a session but it sure was off.  Come to find out...  her daughter had an important event scheduled in a couple of days & had neglected to do the organizing so ATF was trying to get it done.  I had no way of knowing & we could have rescheduled if it was a problem.  We could planned a tighter schedule if she'd let me know.  She really was abusive & she crossed a line...  and she knows it.  She never apologized for it...  and she's not a girl, a mature woman.

crazy clients for me include:

1.  a guy that brought over a painters tarp to put on the bed because after being told to drink four bottles of gadorade he wanted me to pee in his mouth

2.  a guy came over with a diaper bad wearing diapers and wanted me to feed him a bottle and call me mommy and change his soiled diapers

2.  a guy came over wearing a french maid outfit and wanted to clean my house with me ordering him around, yelling at him and degrading him.  then he wanted me to fuck him in the ass with a strapon and take pictures of the whole thing and at the end he asked me to email the pictures to his MOTHER.  

3.  a guy came over with a cock cage (male chastity belt with a padlock and key) and wanted me to beat the shit out of him, pee on him, spit on him and drag him around the house on a leash and eat dog food out of a dog bowl.  then he wanted me to keep the key forcing him to wear the cock cage for an entire week before i gave him permission to come back and give me more money

4.  i had a young guy show up with his real mother and wanted a threesome.  not only did they look related but i checked their ids and yes they were mother and son.  i did not got through with it but another time i thought i was going to meet a couple and when i got there it seemed to be a 20 something girl with a 40 something man and when it was all said and done he points to the girl and tells me that she is is step daughter and mommie/wifie is out of town on business.  Yikes.  I just had a threesome with a guy and his step daughter and did not know it.  totally freaked me out.

5.  had a guy who wanted to be my human ashtray and he lied down on the floor on his back and had me put lit cigarettes out on his bare chest and he came like a machine gun.  needless to say there was a huge second degree burn in the middle of his chest for weeks.  

6.  had a guy who wanted me to put my face next to his dick and yell insults at it like, "your cock is so small it does not deserve to go inside."  "look at your pathetic little worm of a penis" and stuff like that and then he wanted me to kick him in the balls and step on his dick wearing heels.  

7.  had a guy who wanted to lie in the driveway and drive over him in my car.  i got half way over him and freaked out because i thought i killed him.  i got out of the car and he he had tire marks across his chest and had his dick in his full of cum.  i was totally freaked out and never did that again

8.  i had a guy who brought over a wooden paddle and wanted to lie naked on his stomach while i stood over him and beat him with it until he cried.  his ass was beet red when he left and he could barely walk and my next door neighbor said she could hear the slapping of the wooden paddle and a grown man crying.

and talked to herself for 5 minutes, among other things.  If you're VIP read my review of Candy...bad experience but it's a pretty good story.

-- Modified on 3/10/2014 10:50:40 PM

She was also pretty tall if we r still talking about the same girl

Did she scream at him to get out or was she telling you to haul ass?  I'd think she'd add a 'Lets' if she was talking to you, but not sure what she meant.  

IMO, there's little reason why he'd be THAT close to your car unless he was 1) security 2) police 3) trying to rob you

END OF MESSAGE

I hope she's no longer trying to provide because she really, really sucked at it.

She was actually screaming at him to "get the fuck out of here," but I thought it was best that I do likewise. Lol.  

END OF MESSAGE

After attending three EWS parties, you'd think that would be enough.  But...

There was that week-end odyssey with my friend Piper that started in White Plains, to some hick town in upstate NY, to NYC, and then Philly.  That has to be the craziest one.  But I did get to have her four times that w/e...  Oh, and she was at all of those EWS parties...  Another

Then there was that trip to Vegas three years ago to hit two M&G's at the absolute last minute, after getting NCNS'd in NYC.  When I got home that night, I had an e-mail from Chloe Wilde, a friend from San Diego that I had written to that day expressing my regrets about not being able to make AVN that week-end.  She said she hoped I would reconsider, and after reading that in the wake of the NCNS, I just said fuck this shit, and made my travel arrangements that night for the next day.  Looking back, that was one of the best moves I ever made...what a great week-end.  And a friendship that bonded that w/e and lasts to this day was made...    

I would also mention those crazy parties that the Pleasure Concierge has been throwing in Florida the past couple of years.  I once went swimming in the canal with some hot blond from Miami named Hollie, who promised me that if I could catch her, I could have her,  Well, she was a better swimmer than me, but I had already been with her night, so .  Plus that, the hostess and I have been friends for nearly ten years.  That get together in May is going to rock...

There's alot more, but you get the point, I hope

END OF MESSAGE

Quite the story that review.  That is the reason why I always bring a sealed 3 pack of condoms to a meeting.  Usually they stay in my jacket pocket...

But in retrospect I'm glad I didn't that day, nothing good was going to come of that session.

A gentleman refused to lock his dog up during the session.
I was having fun with the gent in bed his dog started licking out feet and he still
refused to lock the dog up.
Needless to say that's not a fetish i'm fond of.
I have not been back since

A gal couldn't get her dog out of the closet...  his bed is in the bottom...  damn dog watched every move.  She calls it by it's color name, but it's just a nice colored Pitt.  I think it remembers me...  lays on my feet when we're on the sofa.  Damn big dog like to knock my cane out or trip me, so damn friendly.  I'd never dream of any aggressive love grabs with doggie watching.  Says the dog has not hurt people...  I crack joke about not letting the dog eat me...  but she's still paying off the vet from the Second dog that Pretty Pitt chewed up.  

She said she had some cash go missing of the top of her dresser...  freakin dog ate it!  (She says)

This guy started pulling out a bunch of paper towels and laying them next to me. (After he had just said two minutes of me walking in the door, "Well, are you gonna' get naked?"

The napkin thing freaked me out so I got up and told him I had diarrhea all of a sudden and I didn't want to use his bathroom. I even did the little dance, lol. He asked if I was going to come back and I said, "I'll call you and let you know but I have to go NOW."

It seemed like a dangerous situation, so I decided not to be a bitch, but instead I acted like I was going to poo all over everything in his place if he didn't let me go lol. The guy was very weird and thank God I was taught how to screen and got the hell out of that agency. That lady sent so many ghetto people, (of different colors btw,) that I was sending them away left and right.

-- Modified on 3/12/2014 1:09:02 AM