Discussing explicit sex acts for money is illegal and not cool. It IS OK to make certain requests like what clothing to wear but not the acts themselves. Try referring this people to any info on your web site or to specific reviews without directly confirming anything.

If the girl is profiled and reviewed on TER, refer them to your profile for what services are available.  I will usually ask if there are any changes in their TER profile that might affect a customer's expectations.  Its a yes or no question and is not offensive to ask.  This eliminates the need to ask explicit questions about specific sexual activities.

Ladies always have the right not to engage in activities that someone listed as an activity that they do. I have had over the past 30 or so years two providers whom according to reviews do BBBJ and CIM tell me that they not longer do those activities. I am sure many other hobbyists have had similar experiences. There are no guarantees in this world.

It's very healthy to be scared to do dumb things like talk about "sex acts" for pay over the internet with someone you have yet to meet in person.

 
And NO, ladies are most definitely NOT ok with talking about such things until they are face to face. At least the smart ones like yourself are not.

Some women bill themselves as "I am an open book, ask away!" but these ladies are few and far between. Even on the rare instances I have seen that, I still ask for permission to be "open and to speak freely" about our upcoming encounter, and always ask from my proton account to her proton email address. Several girls have said "sure, we are both encrypted so ask whatever you would like." But this is one of those things where I would tread very, very lightly as this can come back to blow up in the guy's face.

Every now and then I liked to live on the edge. I'll comes across an ad, P411,City Source or whatever ad site where their picture caught my eye.The ladies don't have reviews so finding a way to ask the do's and don't is gut wrenching. You risk the possibility of getting the "click" sound from the phone. But my jovial nature usually works and she'll open up, but sometimes she'll let off a vibe where you say, thanks but adios. You may have dodge a bullet.
But I think it's mostly how you ask......don't be a jerk and come off with the "Do you take it in the ass?" Really now.

Unfortunately LE asks those sorts of questions.  In doing so they are establishing the evidence of an offer of sex for money, which is illegal.  Basically that would set up a meet where money would be exchanged and verbal promises repeated and then the handcuffs would come out, and not for a BDSM session.
.
In general the type of festivities should remain vague until the first "illegal" action.  After that it doesn't really matter anymore, so discussion can occur freely.

I've seen a few providers who will mention something explicit/specific 1st.  Even then, I generally don't use explicit or specific language in return.  

 
Examples:  
- One of the Porn Star providers I saw sent me a message to confirm pricing and included the expected upcharge for anal.  I thanked her for confirming and left any additional discussion until we met face to face.  
- Another provider sent me a message after I'd booked that her friend was available to join for another $$$ and she liked to eat her friend's pussy while getting fucked. That one seemed too much like a LE trap to me and I cancelled, saying I wasn't interested anymore.  If her ad had mentioned a double was available, with pics, I might have asked for for it.  But seeing it offered unasked for with the explicit language made my Spidey Senses tingle big time.

 
I always rely on reviews to inform me of which services I should expect. Fortunately, I have only rarely started a session where the provider told me that she doesn't offer one or more of those services. When that happens, I make a judgement call to either go with it or decline and leave.  I never argue or complain - that just tends to ensure a lousy experience for both of us. But I will tell her before I leave why I won't repeat.  

 
Finally, this is a US problem. In countries where selling sex is legal, ads almost always list the specific services offered, and any upcharge fees as well.  I find that makes my selection process so much easier and I would expect it greatly reduces the stress on providers who can generally relay on a client knowing and adhering with all of her requirements or restrictions.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

I think the argument is stupid.  If the provider has reviews and they are recent, and even if they are not recent, they are consistent then there is no need to ask.  If the client has a proven track record i.e. multiple Okays on P411 or a catalog of reviews on TER, then I don't see a problem with answering simple questions like "are you GFE?"  Clients, and I mean honest clients are already at a disadvantage with lack of info and forking over a fee as soon as they walk in the door, then the what ifs.  What if she has reviews that say GFE but she tells you she doesn't do GFE after you've paid?  What are your options?  Make a big deal of it when you're already BCD and have paid, or go along with it?  

 
You could go with the advice of some and lean in for a kiss upon entering the room (LEO check), what happens if she declines?  Do you walk away, or hope things gradually warm up.  I mean what is the point of SCREENING?  

 
Maybe I am missing something here, but PM via TER or P411 should be fine for asking simple questions about service.  On another note, their are too many ladies out here that don't have reviews to begin with, and I advise not seeing them unless you're just TOFTT.  Also, there are a ton of providers who openly display their GFE/PSE menu on their websites, so if one is wanting to know then find those providers or stick to them if you've seen them.  

Each provider has their own comfort level.  When TER was in full swing, I would read reviews, and sort on what I’m after; that worked great.  When TER went down and P411 reduced its info content, I would just go broad, look at Eros, and text each lady I was interested in for rate, then services. Most respond with messaging apps or on P411.  

It helps to have history on P411 and reviews written on TER.  I’ve had only one flaky girl accuse me of being LE, and she was a noob.

I’ve learned through experience, if they won’t talk about it, then it’s very likely they don’t do it.  You can get lucky, but I’m not a gambler by nature.

Don’t do what you don’t want to do.