Don't tell him face to face, but over the phone(not an email). Now if you have a regular incall instead of a hotel, then you may have a problem. Don't be rude. Just tell him that it is getting to close and end it. Do not elaborate on the closeness issue. Just say it and get off the phone.

I should know this... I've been a provider for a while.  But......

I have this client--  NICE guy!  He is so sweet and so patient and just a really nice person.

But, its been about a year that Ive been seeing him regularly and I have lost any remaining desire to provide for him.

I never felt any physical attraction towards him, and the sex has never been good (to me), but girls are pretty good at giving the allusion of passion-- For a while.

For about the last 6 months, I've dreaded our appointments because he is such a poor lover.  Im tired of faking it.  I am not even getting aroused with him any longer.  Saw him last night.  I was bone dry.

So my question is:  How on earth do I let him know that we've run our course?  Ive referred him to 3 or 4 other providers hoping that he'd get hooked on one of them, but he keeps calling me back.

We are friends and I do like him as a person but as I mentioned, I feel that we've run our course.

And before someone says it, no, Im not going to show up smelly or eat onions before the session.

SkinnyMinnie

I say you're stuck with him.

Personally I wouldn't let him go.  I would assume after this long the sex is not his primary reason for seeing you anyway.  This type is a challenge, but also my personal fav.  I could tell you how to modify your time with him to make it more pleasurable for you.  PM me.

You could always become unavailable, raise fees or time limits.  I could go on and on, but if he really wants to book he'll conform to it all...lol!

Best to you.  Just let em down easy!


X

It's like breaking up a civie relationship. Time to move on. Just tell him you can't see him anymore. Yes he will be hurt, but why string him along?

The bigger question; if you have been seeing him for that long and he is such a terrible lover, why the hell haven't you been training him insteade of faking it? You are the professional. You could have been helping him become a better lover, which would help him in the long run. So you have been faking it all this time and he thinks he is a great lover because of that, and will do the same thing to the next lady, and the next. It would be different if you were just going through the motions because you couldn't stand the guy but you say you like him.

This is going to bother me till the end..... minnie... i don't want to lose my ATF provider

can you p.m me some tips plz.... i feel like i can do so much better even if i'am the one hobbying.... i really want to make it enjoyable for both of us

and I don't think it is honest for her to say:  "..I am not doing this for me, I am doing it for you."

That is not true anyways, and is very transparent, and I, for one, would be hurt to hear it.  (I have heard it in civie relationships before.)

The:  "It's not you, it's me."  theme would be much better, though in truth if the guy really is hot for you, he's going to be shook up about this no matter what.

It's better than the "It's for your own good." approach, but he will still be hurt.

Sometimes there's just no good way to remove a bandaid.  Fast or slow, it's still going to hurt.  Fortunately, the sore will heal eventually.

Like a guy writing it?

Should you really be in this business?

I mean, I have a job, and it's one of the best jobs in the world, and it still sucks.  Why?  because the customers and a bunch of cheap assholes, and they also know that they can take their frustrations out on you.  Also the money isn't that great.  But it is steady work, I am in an office, I don't punch a clock, so I readily admit I have it better than 99% of the poor slobs I see everyday toiling away and being thankful that they have a job in the first place.  Such is life in America these days, but I digress.

So, here you have a long time client who pays you, seems to adore you, isn't abusive, etc.; and you feel that a condtion of being your client is that YOU have to be turned on.  Well, I guess if you have the wherewithall for that, then I say God bless you; but there is something about that that rubs me the wrong way.

Maybe I'm just jealous.

In any case, this poor client is going to be cheesed about this, and I feel badly for him.

I hate to say it, but we do not fit size-wise.  Not that I have a big vagina but he is well under-endowed.  I mean, the size of my index finger.  And I have small hands.  Also, after all this time, he does not know my anatomy, such as where the g-spot is, where my clit is, how to do oral properly, etc.  I dont need a guy to be a pro, but just to have a basic understanding of the female genitalia would work for me.  I have tried to teach him but he never caught on.  You name it, I tried it.  I've brought videos of guys eating women and told him to imitate the movie.

Nothing.  No improvement at all.  So I gave up.

He is so bad at oral, he gnaws at me like a rawhide.  I have to stop him.

This is not really the point though.  Believe it or not, I like the guy as a person.  Thats why I have put off breaking up for so long.  

The mod's can probably verify this for sure!

to be honest lol I looked at my index finger and i just had a lil sigh of relief lol..... logically my hand has to be bigger then urs and my manhood is bigger then my index finger... WHEW...

but i LOL'ed when u said he is useless and gave up

a person.

Or at least I think so. lol

Alias posts are made for a reason, the poster wants to remain anonymous.

Does anybody here really believe that their curiosity trumps the OP's right to remain anonymous? Well if you do. TOUGH SHIT!!! because it aint gonna happen.

get you to have an orgasm? I didnt think that is part of the "pay for play" deal. So do you get rid of every client you dont have an orgasm with?
Very strange post indeed! It is your job to get your clients to orgasm NOT vice versa.

If he is gross and abusive has hygiene issues, then that is another thing, but you say he is nice guy etc. etc.   I don't belive most providers would get rid of a client because "he doesnt make me cum".  I am sure there are a lot of ladies I dont make cum but they still see me

Then he will no longer be a

poor lover

sometimes i dont answer my phone so i can go shoping for cloths and shoes. if they act like a boyfriend i dump them. i am to yung to get marride. just be honest and tell him goodby. i am getting mad.

Yeah, that's a hard 1. Humm... Well, I guess you can be honest with him. It may sound blunt, but sometimes it has to be that way. Don't make it sound worse than it already is--I mean, to him, so, let him have it easy.

You can say, "I like you as a person, but, I am not connecting with you as I did at the beginning. I have tried, and I love your company, and truely enjoy you as a person. But, this has been on my mind now for sometime. I don't want you to think that its you, its me. I just don't want to provide for you any longer because eventually my enthusiasm and performance will lack, and I don't want that to ruin our relationship. I love providing, but once I know that I will not be providing at my full potential, that is when I decide that I will not provide. Again, I truely enjoy your company, but I feel that this is something I must do, and if you can respect me for this, then our friendship will continue. Please understand, I am not doing this for me, I am doing this for you. I just want you to have the best experience possible. I respect you as a person, but this is what I feel in my heart. Please do not think any less of me. I will always be there for you. Respectfully,....."

Sometimes the truth may be blunt, but, if you say it like that, he'll understand. Don't worry too much about him, he will find others. Just satisfy your desires. Hope I was able to help.

i dont owe a hobbiest nothing. if she wants to dump him it is ok. this is not romance or 1920 you gezer. you are making me mad today

dont tell providers to be liers. you cry baby. you make me madder than the old man travler. you are not a boyfriend girls dont like you i am going shoping becuase i am so MAD i will screem

Minnie,

I have been there from the opposite direction, and it is a very difficult decision.  Also a very difficult thing to go through with no matter what you decide.

I am in agreement about being honest—but honesty is not the same as saying everything.  I would be a little selective in what I say, but everything I said would be the truth.  Raising the issue of being a bad lover is not helpful at all.

I would tell him that you like him as a friend and appreciate his friendship, but the friendship is starting to cross the line and confuse the business aspect of the relationship.  For you it doesn’t work to blur those lines—it has to be one or the other.  For YOU, his friendship is more important than his business, you cannot undo the feelings of friendship, and so for YOUR sanity you cannot keep seeing him professionally.  Let him know that from your side you would prefer to preserve the friendship but it would have to be on a platonic level.  Tell him it is his choice and you would understand if he walked away completely.

I wish you well in this.  I hope he chooses wisely.

Eventually he will go away or eventually you will feel adequately compensated. Either way, you will be happy.

Wasn't there a thread on this just a day or two ago? I of course can't say if this one is on the up and up but it's all the same ie., it's difficult..., be honest,...
This has the feel of satire.

If it isn't then I'll say what I said in the last one. Better to be honest and sooner rather than later. It really isn't better to wait because you don't want to hurt feelings. This can apply to most every similar situation.

No disrespect to the OP, but he's a regular. After all, this is P4P isn't it? If he keeps bringing envelopes then what's the problem?

I would think that if he's so small, it would be "easy money" you know what I mean?

Let's be honest here....If he's a nice guy, always a gentleman, practices good hygiene, and values you and your service enough to repeat with you continually. Why would you want to get rid of him?

To the OP, sorry to question your post, but there are some validity issues here.

I could be wrong, and if I am, my bad girl, and if you're a dude posting this making this up? You're a sad individual LOL

as long as that place is between her legs. lol

and no woman has ever complained about my oral skills, but somehow I doubt a woman would want to me DATY her after my tongue had just licked the bathroom floor, no matter how good I am at oral. lol

Sorry, no its not a fake post and Im not a guy.

Ok, I know my "index finger" comment was a little out of line but thats just my sense of humor.

It does make sense and I am taking some notes from what people are saying, and trying to come up with a game plan of how to deal with this once and for all.

If this were a harassment situation, I would get it, but this is a paycheck that that gives less than satisfactory oral.  If you don't want the work, you've got every right to kick him to the curb, but are we to believe that you only see guys that arouse you?

You may not be eating onions, but something smells funny...

I actually like my job a lot!!!

Just because a client pays and is not abusive doesnt mean all that much.  I have 100 other clients who pay and are not abusive.  (Ok, that was an exaggeration.)  

You said that a condition of someone being my client is that Im turned on.  Yes, I actually DO feel that I should be turned on.  Or else its fake-- and I won't look forward to seeing him.  Sure, if its a new client and I don't feel a connection at first, I'll keep the "GFE" going and see him for future sessions, if he requests them, but after 6 months or a year of seeing someone regularly you dont click with, from my perspective, it starts getting really uncomfortable.

I have obviously created a bad situation for both me and the guy.  My fault.  I take full responsibility for being such a pussy.  I know for a fact that this guy is going to have a hard time with this, so need to choose my words very carefully.

I am LOW volume.  If I saw 5 guys a day, sure, the smaller the better.  But I spend a long time with each of my clients.  So if im seeing someone for 2, 3, 4 hours or more, I want it to be a good time.

This is not to say smaller guys can't be good in bed.  You do not have to be hung to satisfy a woman.  Its just the one I am talking about is lacking in size and the other departments as well.

So, you've been taking his money for about a year now and haven't made him into a better lover or at least one you could tolerate?  Was your business much slower a year ago and now you've built it up and you no longer need this loyal customer?  

If you would've made the decision to nix him for whatever reason after seeing him a time or two, that is one thing, but you've strung him along for a year and now want to send him packing?  

Your prerogative of course, but don't you see how shitty this is?  When convenient, Providers always state this is a business and a business only, but when not convenient, then I don't feel any connection; the sex isn't good; blah, blah, blah....

The guy that changes my oil doesn't have to like me, nor does the lady that cleans my house.  Same fucking thing.

"I went to a whore
She said my life's a bore
So quit my whining cause
It's bringing her down"  


I feel for the guy who sees an escort and gets sent packing. One question though:
If you are a woman and all this is true, aren't you afraid he will read this? I always wonder when someone posts for advice like this on a public board if they think the men just don't read TER or are they just stupid?

Firing clients you want to fire is an awesome privedge. Can you afford it?  Fade him.  Slowly be unavailable.  And stop pretending you're "friends".  Feeling pity toward him is not friendship.  You get under ten friends in a life time.  Is he one of them?  On a side note, you and Fisher sound like the only human beings on this thread.  What's up with all the freaking bitterness and animosity around this place?  I admire your kindness in asking the question the way you did, but for your own sake, don't spend too much more time on this.

The thing is you owe him nothing, he was paying for a physical relationship, not a genuine emotional relationship.

Now find yourself a client that'll, fuck the taste out of your mouth.

You know what I'm saying... ; ) lol

Ok, where did I say I didnt want to see him again because he can't bring me to orgasm?  I said that I had no physical desire for him and I was tired of faking it.

Its pretty much the male equivalent of not being able to get hard with a provider.

Guys really have no idea what its like to be in our shoes.

And before someone else says, "Well the guy who mows my lawn probably doesnt like me but he still shows up to work", it is not the same thing as spending a few hours in the bedroom with a guy trying to create passion where there is none.

I am not a newbie provider trying to build a clientele.  At one time, it would not matter whether I liked a guy or not.  If he was paying, I'd be there.  But Im a little past that point now.

I dont want to hear one more guy saying I should be "grateful' that he pays me.

I have clients that I FANTASIZE about when Im alone at night, and once I get to them, I rip their clothes off before they can get through the door.

They are not all like this, of course, but that what makes the job enjoyable.  

Genuine, mutual, raw, animal passion.  Not fake moans and lube.

You gave her an eye roll like your in elementary school or something. She has to be professional about it. Not every1 can just blatantly to some1 to fuck off. She has already establish a yearlong relationship with this person. You have to be considerate of others, and how they feel. We can't be cold blooded reptiles. Sorry again man, the whole eye roll thing got me LMAO, I am just imaging it right now. I picture you telling the OP, then have this humerous attitude, then rolling your eyes like a queer. No disrespect, but I am LMAO.

I feel kinda bad for the guy if you ditch him just cuz he has a small wang.
Personally, I've never been in that situation so I wouldn't know what to tell ya...

Maybe you can have him use a strap on?  Hmm that won't work.
Seriously, maybe use some toys so that he can get you off.

19inch-Drunk Asian

it,s a great cover, couldn't find the whole song

So what kind of guy do you like?

she also said she gave him extensive pussy-eating lessons and he was clueless.  Despite your giant 19-inch hose I bet you eat pussy better than that!  LOL!
nick

Just click on "More" and it'll drop down.  It's where providers can go and dish on us...and each other.  It would be a frightening place for a monger to go.

-- Modified on 10/20/2011 3:36:03 PM

LOL!  

He IS grandfathered in at a lower than my rate.  Not that this is the issue at all.  But I see your point.  

You are right.

Thank you.

There are some very bitter people on this board.  It started as just needing some help on how to let someone go.  Then it turned into "Providers should be damn grateful for any business they have and HOW DARE YOU "fire" a client?"

Anyway, I got a few good pieces of advice and now I know what to do.

and after that, learn how to think—it really is beneficial in life.

The original post, and my reply, had nothing to do with what she does or does not "owe" him.  She said she wanted to stop seeing him professionally but try to keep him as a friend.  Your suggestion to dump him does not exactly fit that bill, does it.

I do not know which I admire more: your grammar, your reading comprehension, or your interpersonal skills.

There is no "good" answer, only those that might be less bad.

1.  You are not going shopping now, you are going to wack off in the corner because you are so proud of your cool posts

2.  You are a guy pretending to be a woman

3.  You intentionally butcher grammar, punctuation, and most other aspects of the English language when I am sure you know at least a little better.  No one on here can be as illiterate as you pretend to be, can they?  Even Hirogen's Mom can communicate better than you do.  But then again, the way to make no sense with your posts, contribute nothing of value, and are fixated on age, you may well BE H-Boy.

Nothing gets some of them going more than wanting to "put you in your place.". And at the same time, they'd lick a bathroom floor to get at your cootchie.  Crazy.

just like the op's post. difficult to tell if it is fake...

learn how to eat her out, pinky.

lmfao

isn't that right dantanasnot?  
so why are you whiteknighting for the op?

or tell him next date you want to try a strap on, on him.

if he agrees, at least you don't have to worry if you're turned on or not !!! win win situation !

who knows, maybe I am, or will be someday.  

I recommend being basically honest,  but on the very nice side.  Like, "sweetie, you are very nice and I like you as a person, but we just have no sexual chemistry whatsoever, and, while this is supposed to be about you and not me, my business is good enough that I find I want to have some chemistry with my partner in order to go beyond a few dates.  It's not a factor of "you" or "me", but the sexual "us" just isn't working for me.  So we have to end this."

Yes, do it by phone call, as a previous poster suggests.

The whole "stay friends" thing is very tricky, except that I would guess that she has no interest in maintaining contact unless paid for her time, and that he's not going to keep paying unless sex is involved.  I could be wrong about either.

If she has a couple of nice friends who she thinks would do better with him, she might refer him to one or more of them.

If I now get an email from my ATF quoting the above language, I am going to be depressed, but ok, and I think your guy might be, too.

To my ATF-PLEASE don't now give me the above speech as a joke;  I know it would be suitable revenge for my sense of humor, but. .

Sorry about your situation. That said, I have difficulty sympathizing. If I were you, I'd be happy to have a polite, clean, non-stalking gentleman who doesn't ask for discounts or stay over the paid for block of time. He likely know's he sucks in bed and pays you to make him feel like a rockstar. If you must "dump" him, please be polite and avoid hurting his feelings. Say you're superbusy, need time away from providing, etc.. Best of luck.

Not sure how good my pussy eating technique is but I guess it's good enough not to force them to write a post like this... lol

You say you like him as a person, he is clean, he is respectful, you just don't "click". You are going to destroy him. Informing him he can't even pay for it after you have become friends is going to hurt more then if you just met.

You should have cut if off early if "clicking is required, or not faked and been straight up with him from the start so maybe he would move on or become a better lover, now you will crush him. There is no way not to do so and cut him off. Best to be honest if this is the course you choose to take. Be prepared for him to hate you, you earned it. You set him up to take a fall.

Now you come off and put up a holier that thou attitude when guys think you should be a little grateful when I guy lays down for most a days ay for an hour of your time. You should be grateful any clean respectful guy pays you! Damn, good thing you used an alias as you would lose business over this post.

Now I do think you have the right to do dump him. I even think in his shoes I would want to be dumped as I don't want to be with someone who does not want to be there, but it going to hurt hurt more then a kick in the balls.

Please note though you have never been honest with him, you have never been a friend to him. Friendships are not based on lies and that all you feed him with your faking. To make thing worse you published it, so he will read it and know you are completely turned off by him as he will figure it out after. Great move there. Friends don't do that to friends

Tell you what if I ever try to book with you, tell me to fuck off before I ever have the chance to be a poor lover, I have a small dick too so, you won't be happy and in the end I will be better off never meeting the likes of you. Deal?

I really think you are in the wrong profession. Maybe you should find a job where you don't have to get turned on, I think McDonald's is hiring. And by the way, I am often tried of my job too, guess what I still do it and often I am not treated with respect from some I have to deal with. Sounds like you have it better than I. After all I have been literally hit and spat on in the course of building my business. At least he was respectful.

One last thing,  you should be grateful that he pays you. Even if it isn't working out, you should be grateful you are in demand and can make the kind of money you do make. I know you don't want to hear it but it is the truth. Truth is I think you are a spoiled princess. Please turn me down, I don't like spoiled princesses.

Zowie!  For a self-admitted proud mangina you sure did rip her a new one!  But I understand if you're cranky, scoed.  Peace out, bro.
nick
PS: I outed this alias months ago.  It ain't news.

-- Modified on 10/20/2011 9:34:27 PM

she doesn't have a job, she has a business, which is all about working your ass off (in her case, literally) to have the freedom to call the shots.  "ownership reserves the right to refuse service, etc".  The "friend" is fired, because he chewed on her like a rawhide chewie toy and because he refuses to learn how to use his little weeter.  and if he's so weak it "hurts more than a kick in the balls", using the same logic that she should change professions, he should give up on life and jump in the river.  Your post is riddled with self-pity, shame, "obligation" -- all dirty words.

Hell, after she gets over all that and unceremoniously kicks his ass to curb, i'm gonna make a video with "skinny" on how to fuck her right and send it to his sorry ass!  how do you like them apples?

I get it. You're done with me. It hurts, especially since we're friends, but it happens.

You think I don't read the Boards? That I had NO idea you weren't really feeling me? I tried, but hey, I failed. You were great at faking, but not perfect.

At least you could've done this in private. A simple phone call. Surely you've broken up with somebody in your civilian life? But no, you basically smear me in public. I certainly won't commit the same mistake, won't hint at who you are, won't say what we did in private, and what you asked of me in addition to the cash. You led me on, and dumped my ass hard, in front of everybody.

Thanks, love you too!

God, damn it, you got to be the biggest white knight on the damn boards. Is she your girl friend or something, or don't you think she could handle the truth? I am very protective of providers and even I don't try to coddle them like you. Telling a guy he should drown himself because being told he can't even pay for it? Real classy. So go fuck off if you even have a dick to fuck with.

We pay to avoid drama, guess what, he got ripped off. I to own my own business, several in fact. Guess what owning a business is a job. But you are right, she has the right to refuse service. In fact that is the thing she should have done after she realized they wasn't "clicking" if that is a requirement for her long term. She did not instead she carelessly and cruelly led him on. She was not ethical in her business dealings. For that she should be ashamed.

Deal?  What kind of twisted logic makes a guy who pays for fake intimacy into a victim when the gal can't stomach him anymore.  Women are fucking crazy scoed, paying them wont change that.  In fact, it makes them crazier.  Being an emotional victim of a call girl is crazier than letting a civvie get to you.  Listen to you.  Maybe the guy's sick of her and relieved because he's too weak to tell her.  You don't know.  Talk about drama.  If you have 3 businesses or whatever, then you have better shit to think about than this.  Wait, me too.  All right, done here.

tearing every one

REALLY???  Pinydick?  come on guys.....couple of questions come out at me when I read some of these posts:

1.  Does this guy really have a penis the size of her idenx finger?
2.  Does Pinkdick really need to post that message?
3.  Does this guy really have a penis the size of her idenx finger?
4.  It's friday....Lets be HAPPY and all get laid.
5.  It's friday....lets be Happy and ALL get laid.

The real question is why are we all here:  TO GET LAID and have NO drama and to make money.  We all have our reasons.