Please understand that it's a very small percentage of potential clients & TER members who engage in fanatic/stalker-like behavior.  But the creepers here definitely give the site a bad rep, and make many providers reluctant to participate.  

You are preaching to the choir.  The kinds of guys that would benefit from your admonishment are, as you say, "lurker" types, so they are not likely to be a part of the community that discusses things on this board.  Why not just PM the latest offender?  Most stalkers don't think they are, so you need to get in their face and tell them, IMO.  

1) I've said it before, but because sex is the most intimate act two people can engage in, there are more neuroses connected with it than almost anything else we do. So don't blame TER for making this happen, it's called human nature -- the ugly side of it. This is the biggest site devoted to P4P so you see a lot of it here, but that's not TER's fault.
2) As a result, you are talking to the wrong people. The ones who REALLY need to understand what you're saying are totally unreachable, which is a shame. That said, I agree with you.
3) I have a rule: if we're having an email or PM conversation and you don't respond to my last communication, I do NOT contact you again until you contact me.  I will not be THAT GUY.

I think we had a brief conversation in inbox a couple years ago. I'm pretty sure you initiated the contact. I believe I asked you if you were once a stripper because of your body style. Hopefully that didn't put me on your shit list.

misunderstood the nature of the relationships I was forming with providers.  I soon noticed that if I send a text or email asking how they were doing that day, I often got no response or else the response was hours later.  If I emailed or texted about scheduling an appointment, then the response was usually within five minutes.  it didn't take long for me to figure out that chit chat was a type of "stealing" of a provider's time in a business where time is money.  I quickly evolved to the point that I rarely will contact a provider for any reason except to make an appointment.  However, if they initiate contact with me, I try to respond in a timely manner.  The exception is a TER PM about a comment or post they made on one of the discussion boards.  I don't consider that to be wasting their time because they chose to be here posting and have to expect feedback sometimes.  It should be clear to every hobbyist that this is a professional relationship, not a personal one.  You go see your doctor or attorney at the time appointed, but you don't follow up with endless texts and emails of what a nice time you had.  They will know it if you keep doing business with them.  Same with providers.  They are, for the most part, professionals.  

BUT what if a guy is so naive or trusting that he give you his REAL name for screening and then you don't see him.  Do you provide him with a reason if he asks?  That has never happened to me and never will because I would NEVER provide my real name.  But if I was THAT GUY that would drive me crazy and would weigh on me mentally.  THAT GUY deserves a reason.  Not knowing would be the worst.  What is the right thing to do in that situation?

I think that is the exact kind of mindset she is talking about. Just because she knows your name doesn't mean shit. THAT guy doesn't deserve shit except not to have his personal information used against him.

Shit, I must be creeping you!

but I could understand why someone might feel entitled to an explanation, but nothing more.  Is there something negative out there about him that he is unaware of?  Maybe someone "stole" or used his handle and did something inappropriate?   You don't know what you don't know.  A simple explanation would provide piece of mind.  And if there was something untrue or slanderous then you would be aware and could correct it.

The reason is because he was stupid enough to give her his real info to begin with.  NEVER do it.  Ever.  If you do it, don't whine.

"so naïve and trusting" should probably find a different hobby before they clean out their bank account and hand it over to the first girl that flirts with them.  

Now of course I don't expect she's talking to theclikes of you, me, GaG, Jake, dunphy, et el, who are active on this board, but the kinds of guys she is talking about may very well be lurkers here and read this board.

Explained rejection is not a must do.  
It's an opportunity for emotional growth.  

but you still won't get one in 99% of the time. Because no one owe's you one. A gal can choose to see you based on some of the same criteria you use to choose to initiate seeing her.  

and therefore I have nothing to get over.  People don't actually read what other people write.   I am merely using my alias to take a knowingly unpopular position in a feeble attempt to heighten the discussion.

you come back to the guy and say ... Sorry hun I can't see you because of x or y.   But I will give you another chance.  If you do z and show me that your behavior has changed then I will see you.   In the meantime, though, please don't contact me because I have a business to run.

by this thread, it will be well worth it.

Keep things professional and fun.

while I agree there may be some lurkers who'll read it, my guess is guys who behave this way are simply not available to her message and are unable to change their sociopathic ways.  Even when hit in the head with a 2x4.

Debra post original intent was a focus on people being stalker, the thread has then focused on just cutting off communication and why.

I once was PMing with a provider here because we had some previous geography in common (though now we were 1000 miles apart.)   We ended up sharing our life histories, transferred our conversation to email, eventually learned each other's real life names.  She even linked to me on LinkedIn.   This all happened in the space of a week or so.

Ugh, I'm so fucking tired of agreeing with you, but damn! Standing ovation on that post, you nailed it. 👏

You are almost certainly correct, but there is a "chance" that maybe some of the BSU's who are entering borderline stalker territory might read this and take a step back. Okay, a very slim chance, but if even one guy steps back from the edge because of this thread it would be worth the bandwidth.

I am NOT saying that, therefore, no one should put up posts like the OP.  Even though it may be fruitless it's better to remind people, even those who may be unreachable.  Just don't be under any illusions about it.
But in general, I subscribe to the wisdom of my dear old Dad, who used to say about any effort that was unlikely to work:
"It's like pissing in your blue serge suit.  It gives you a nice, warm feeling and no one knows you did it."

I'm not particularly paranoid about revealing my real life ID to providers.  At least three local providers and one local booker know my real ID.    

Begging a provider everyday to put you in a four-point restraint is not the least bit creepy.  You love this hobby but just can't control yourself.  Lol

She might have found you as a "safe" sounding board and then had a dream where you went out and wrecked her life with all the info she shared with you.

I think that hits the mark pretty well.

ALL of your praise and all of your attention (of course, in return for their attention,) for the equivalent of 70 hours per month?

You start out paying good attention to them, but during the season that you can't give them your all because you want to be thankful to other people supporting you, it turns to anger. Not necessarily threats, but more passive aggressive. To where some people think everything you do, and every move you make is about them.

As someone who seems rather proud of her increased rates, I wonder why you would even dream of putting up with this kind of behavior? Do you really need "after a while" to cut off those kind of guys?

Do you know why, the retaliation can be extremely awful, especially if you're someone like me who does confront head on.  

Some girls put down the hourly guys as a bunch of animals just wanting wild monkey sex. So, they glorify extended dates, otc time etc. A guy who just wants to use their body for his own personal pleasure gets labeled a "misogynist." The lonely fool who takes them on extended (more profitable) dates is the "nice guy" that will suck the peanuts out of the whore's ass and wash it down with the whore's piss.

True GFE comes at a risk. and that risk of course is being so believable that some/many of the sad sacks who want that "connection" are going to misread the very mixed signals there are going to be getting.

it's because it's WRONG!!!

I would think that providing a simple straightforward reason would generally be the safest and best way to make the guy feel as though he got a fair shake and was treated consistently and therefore go away and not escalate.   With the few exceptions where doing so could place someone else at risk.  Maybe I am wrong ?  And it would increase his respect for you as a provider and more generally the profession if done correctly.  

-- Modified on 7/18/2017 12:53:28 PM

It all depends on the situation.  It could be the safest response depending on HOW it is executed.  That is the point.

A well thought out concise explanation would most likely increase his respect for you and your profession.  

Rates don't eliminate human beings.

Deter unwanted behavior and most effectively handle "stalkers" or undesirable behavior.  There isn't a universally right way that applies to all situations.  The safest way to handle a given situation depends on the facts of that particular situation and the personalities of those involved.

Why is responding "safer" than not responding to some love sick john who can't simply take no for an answer?

Either. Some of the things in the OP are things that a regular boyfriend or girlfriend should not be doing to their girlfriend/boyfriend. Being an escort that claims GFE shouldn't have to just accept that behavior, because it comes with the territory.  

I am actually going to agree with this guy for once.  Too many providers don't effectively either 1) prevent small problems from becoming big problems and 2) de-escalate.  While we may disagree on how that should be done, we do seem to agree on that.

Because I tend to snip it off pretty quickly.

It's really sad that the knuckleheads, and creepers have ruined it for everyone. Back in the day, on the local sites, many ladies and gentlemen flirted with each other. It was a wonderful ice breaker. It was so much fun. And if a lady flirted back with me, 9 times out of 10 she got a date. Of course, since TER is global, there's no point in flirting much here. But the ladies on the local sites don't flirt anymore either.  

Definition of nuance
1:  a subtle distinction or variation
Nuances of flavor and fragrance cannot be described accurately … — Scott Seegers
… these terms have certain nuances of meaning … — Ben F. Nelms

You have a good night and you drink some Jack and Coke, and you feel like chitchatting right? But then all of a sudden it turns into something where you talk to someone like they're your best friend on the first conversation.  

EOM

Bc I could be wrong. But just check August of 2015 in your board posts.

What the fuck is wrong with you? You are the prosecutor and I am the accused. Why don't you come up with the August, 2015 board posts and prove your case.?

(1) Find me multiple posts where providers denigrate any clients who follow her rules.  I'm not talking about a provider expressing a preference, real denigration eg., "these guys just want wild monkey sex" (if this counts as denigration).

If the thread was removed then how the hell could I find my own comments? You make no sense. You are just another part of the "crew" that like to harass "OTM" but you don't realize I really don't care other than the amusement it provides.

No, we can see our responses if they're removed. So you would be able to see yours under My TER-My Board Posts

You know I hate to be supporting OTM on ANYTHING, but he is absolutely right. Just please stop already.

Did you see any other women joining in with Court to falsely accuse you?

Honestly, TheNudeOpera has been on a mean streak lately. Not really sure what's crawled up her ass, but it's went from being funny to being sad.

I know in apology doesn't make a wrong right, however I apologize for posting that. It was probably somebody else.  

I'm not going to go have a drink. but. *gulp*

Probably the most balanced response in this whole car crash of a thread. Valid points indeed 👍

I can't do any better than GaGa, in explaining why you are entitled to nothing following a rejection.  It should be obvious.

It pains me to say it but you are right. Still, it proves that even a seemingly level headed well reviewed high priced hooker can go BSC.

but yes you are correct that even a seemingly "level headed, well reviewed, high priced hooker" can go off the rails, and that is the point I try to hammer home when the conversation is about "giving personal information that can be used against you" to a hooker, even the ones with great reputations. You just "never know" and it's not worth ruining your life over.

If you even remotely follow the thread then you could see the following:

Agree 100%.

It's your clients who filled out the field set form on your schedule the date portion of your website. Who are second guessing your potential to go BSC with their personal information.

I can't quote you now but I remember your hostile nature to Court. To say they were disconcerting is an understatement in my book.

You've got it. Those are exactly what I'm looking for.  

Once again a fuckin whore accuses me of something but "can't quote." There is a big difference between being "hostile" and printing a URL to somebody's personal information. Posting a URL that led to somebody's personal info is what I was falsely accused of.

and I know few that have done this in the past..  

and that is ringing true right now. I have no idea if you posted anyone's personal info so I left that part out. So I'm not "piling" on so slow your roll. and I'll refrain from calling you names since I'm not BSC. You should try it sometime!

That's a capybara, they're the largest rodent. They don't make good pets really, and you have to have 3 of them, minimum, otherwise they get depressed and die because of how herd oriented they are. They're also super moody, so one day they're cool as a cucumber, and the next day they'll have the rage and bite everything that moves.

A guy requested to be accepted on my twitter, but he stated he found me on P411. I naturally was like great PM me. He didn't PM me but messaged me again to be accepted. I didn't respond. then, he eventually PM me and I accepted him. The message was simple hey i'm the guy that wants to be accepted. Now, I guess he wanted to catch up with my twitter and started liking every pic and some post...I didn't think anything of it. Until, he asked for pictures which I stated are under my portfolio. Then he asked for my selfies which are for gents that I have seen. Now he's a ghost on my twitter. SHRUGS but WEIRD especially if he doesn't plan on setting a date.

Never have I heard my very own kinks described so elegantly.  

is not enough. You should have let it go. Anybody who clicked on your website and glanced at your requirements to book would know that my post is not ridiculous. You ask for full name and last name on ID, city and state on drivers license and registered phone number. Yet you have shown you have the potential to go BSC as seen in this thread.

You at least tacitly agreed with Courtney. It was piling on because you knew that I was accused of a bannable offense. You read the thread. You never said "Well he may have been "hostile" but he never posted a link to somebody's personal information. Instead it was "I can't quote you now but,,,,,,,,,,,,"

You should have listened to Gag. When you find yourself in a hole on the internet don't keep digging. Based on what happened anybody would go full tinfoil hat with you.

All the reason to refrain from giving out your real life information to a hooker.

Omg, was just reading the WordPress on it...loved it.
I agree, small number.

I honestly don't feel too bad about it honestly. You're very mean and degrading, and I honestly don't think you have any feelings whatsoever anyway, so seriously. I'm losing zero sleep over this.

You can't possibly be serious. Please tell me you're just trying to troll the thread. If so, you need more practice. If not, I'd guess you're just about exactly the type of creeper that Debra and some of these other women are talking about, making them feel like they're always being watched. Or, perhaps more likely, you're one in the making; whether you're aware of it or not.

They both wiggle when you eat them.

Someone get this girl some chocolate.

The internet appears to create huge balls, even an asshole like me never goes quite that far.

She piled on and after being put through the ringer I was in no mood for anymore crap from the "crew."  

(I've had OTM on Ignore for ages, so I missed it.)

Your post reeks of butt-hurt.  You try to come on like such a tough guy but I guess that's just a thin veneer.

I will confess, I like "fucking" and I like "whores" , but somehow when you put the two together in a sentence it loses it's allure and reinforces the impression that most of us have of OTM which is that he really does look down on the women here. AND that he is rather mean spirited, even if he is often right about the specific acts of "some" hookers and johns, or "whores and tricks" if you prefer.