I have found that in selecting providers, TER coupled with P411 is the gold standard. I never see a provider who is not on at least one of these sites. Occasionally I will choose a provider from the site named after the Greek word for love, but only if she is on TER as well. I saw an ad on that site this week in my city that appeared to be for one of the most gorgeous porn stars in the business. She is a mixed (Asian/Black) woman with over 80 porn films -- initials H.D. She had an email address and a TER number with seven reviews going back a couple of years. I read all of her reviews including one of her earliest, which was written by the number one reviewer in my city.

and if something doesn't feel right, there's usually good reason for it.

She has every right to ask for anything she wants to feel safe and you have every right to refuse....to feel safe.  If the date doesn't happen as a result, c'est la vie.
And perhaps, as she contemplates the $$$ she missed out on, she'll change her MO.  i would never send anyone a selfie for screening, especially if she already had my P411 profile (and whatever else she'd been able to find on her own).

It seems as if part of your goal here was to tie in a clever line to what you say happened to you - and with that you were successful.  Still, while this may not have been your primary intent you, writing under an alias for some reason, called this woman desperate and gave enough information for someone to identify her, all because she asked for a pic?  

I disagree.  
Personally I'd prefer more guys tell it like it is.  
Reviews are garbage, for the most part.  
So info on these boards is SUPPOSED to benefit hobbyists.  
Him "outing" her for behavior that made him uncomfortable is exactly what more should be doing!
And using an alias is smart play on his part.  

I'd missed the "outing" part so went back to check and, yes, I'd say the OP outed the girl, and not "sort of." While I have no problem with him telling his basic tale, it wasn't necessary for him to basically name her in order to do that.
There are lots of times when a girl's ( or guy's) bad behavior merits outing but this was not one of them.  She simply went too far for his comfort level in asking for a selfie.  But it certainly doesn't rise to the level of needing to basically name her for it.  Anyone who had a level of concern locally could just have PM'd him for the info.
That said, I don't think the info the OP put out there did the girl any real harm so I don't think this was a major issue.

You mention her swift response times more than once. Is that considered a thing that looks bad/shady/desperate? I'm usually super prompt (just my personality) and I'd hate to think being so redflagged me in some way.

I think she outed her self a long time ago.

-- Modified on 8/27/2016 2:09:57 PM

She obviously didn't take the time to verify me before responding so quickly.She is not on P411 so she did not check my profile and she couldn't have checked my TER reviews that quickly  The purpose of P411 and TER is so that both parties can get some idea of who they are dealing with.

I will chalk your negative reply up to a lack of real experience on these boards. That is especially true since you have a single review that is 20 months old. BTW, I have 75 posted reviews over 5 years. I would suggest that you spend some time reading the TER guidelines regarding the purposes and uses of an alias. Perhaps you should consider using an alias so that you don't reveal just how clueless you are.

-- Modified on 8/27/2016 2:24:48 PM

I don't think it was a big deal but, as I said, I don't think naming her was necessary to make your point.  She didn't really do anything wrong, even though I wouldn't have given her the selfie either.  I don't want to repeat myself so see me post above.

Different dollar amounts, of course

And congratulations on the vast number of reviews you've provided.   I'll remember not to match wits with such an experienced man in the future. And btw, it's great to see that you get still get so excited before an appointment that you can't sleep and are checking your emails at 5 am. Wow, how tingly.  It never gets old, even for the best of us like you; how inspiring for the rest of us.  And as for an alias, thank you for the idea: I'm thinking Joe Xmas is perfect...so, keep reading avidly, Butch.  Clearly, it's what you do best.

I don't anymore - because of exactly this. If I can't tell who someone is, my auto reply directs them to my form. Usually people fill out the form, and if I happen to be home on my computer, I can check them out before responding. Otherwise, I very rarely answer someone unless there is some hint of who they are, and that I'm not talking to someone I shouldn't be dishing info to. But that took years to do, and some people do feel comfortable talking to the completely unknown stranger on the other end privately.

I understand that apart from TER's restrictions on the tone and content of these postings, people are free to express themselves using whatever language they choose. I will give your modest opinion about whether my "naming' her was "necessary" the weight that it deserves.  You too could actually benefit by reading more and posting less.

My post made no claim against the merits of P411 or TER. I asked a simple question. Your reply holds water maybe only with citing her initial 15 minute response, but you mentioned it again in the part about your ongoing conversation.

-- Modified on 8/27/2016 8:40:42 AM

I might have gone a different route. I've had new-ish providers ask me for selfies before and when declining I gently explain that this is called "demonstrative evidence," not effective/good for either her or I and then give her about ten other ways to verify me. Nine out of ten times they agree and back off the request.

and in both cases, they were meeting me at an airport terminal, so it seemed like a reasonable request since they would want some  way of identifying me.

Scheduling. So you were talking to her assistant.

Use assistants/agencies for booking, communication and even all of their online presence. I had quite a few girls with many reviews tell me they never go on ter or p411. Some had no idea what it is

something as benign as how many times he mentioned 15 minutes?

Had a date with an agency I had been using on a regular basis.  Never had a problem with them before and this was back in the day when agencies "made it up to you" if you got a dud.  At least that had been my experience in the Boston area at that time.  Don't think that applies any more for a number of reasons.

better safe than sorry, i say

what the op did wasn't rude and disrespectful to a woman, but was rather consumer reporting about a business.  it's not like he said boy this girl is ugly and can only s*k c&k for a living she's so stupid... what he did was say this business practice seems unsafe to me as a consumer, so i passed, what do you guys think?

That is, you felt uncomfortable with her asking the day of the appointment for your photo, and in giving your photo in general.  That would let her (and her assistant) know that you weren't cancelling for no good reason.  You might have also added that you respect her right to screen as she wishes, but it's not something you're willing to do.  

I was under the impression this was a discussion board, no? I've seen no responses that ventured into hostile territory, so I'm not really sure where you are getting "hot airs" from. I inquired about the multiple references to the 15 minutes in a non-belligerent manner so as to avoid giving a bad impression in my future communications, but apparently I was in the wrong. Good thing we have you here to police such behaviors.

And you could benefit from taking your head out of your ass.
Hint: if you don't like what your hearing here, don't post.

what is also called Santorum, the sludge left after bareback Greek that's a mixture of semen and feces.  This clown clearly can't take even the mildest of criticism and isn't cut out for this board.

how do you know she "couldn't have checked my ter reviews in that time"

yay for walking away from the phone & computer and living real life for a while!  +100!!

i am an actor (not famous but profitable) so i don't send selfies but i direct any requests for selfies to my professional acting website, full of pictures of me.

the guys are too broke to get dates and the gals aren't gettin the dates cuz we're broke!  so we sit on the computer all day and yammer at each other!!

nob was being snarky, just for laughs.  he's a good guy, wasn't directing anything personal towards you.

1. Maybe she wanted to get turned on by seeing what you looked like.
2. Maybe she wanted to identify your race and decline to see you because she does not like seeing guys of the race for what ever reason.  
3. She has seen other BP providers make this type of request and thinks it is in the SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) for screening new clients.

You say it much better than me, Jake!  And I love the Santorum reference; that was a riot.

Yes, I'm sure. Btw, aren't you two due for more mentions of your abundant dick sizes? It's been at least two posts since either of you shoehorned that into the discussion.

This isn't the first porn star who hasn't been up to par lately in many ways.
You want to be in a public service business expect to be "outed"
Isn't that exactly what Yelp does?

I agree 100%
Too damn many nasty opinions and comments lately.
Just because a person trolls the board doesn't make them an authority on any thing.
They are just time wasters with an opinion...wow.

but it's comical you just goy a public spanking.  

tho i can now see how you might think that.  i personally just took nob's remarks as an overall (if incorrect) indictment of the whole thread.

Isn't that what you use for mouth wash?

With a clean p4 account, and sweet reviews. Not to mention many ladies want more than that to feel safe.

Had a great cock analogy but I'll keep it in my pants for now.

For asking you to do something you don't want to do?

I really did ask about the comments on the times because I am prompt in my responses and worried that perhaps a prospective client would interpret that as a bad thing and the OP did seem to think it meant she didn't screen his reviews. These boards are for discussion, but also (for me) learning more about hobbyists and providers.

with your face blurred just like the hookers do.


-- Modified on 8/27/2016 8:38:56 AM

You can't even rank on someone without screwing it up.
LMAO!
-- Modified on 8/27/2016 4:47:11 PM

Keep up, Fattty!  What a joke.
Why do you even try?

Ewwwwwww

I prefer them when possible but understand providers have a life outside of the hobby and just might be unable. I'm really a rather chill dude. I've found patience and acceptance work well for me when I'm trying to meet someone for the first time.  

... but simple courtesy in communications with others. I know that's not something everyone believes in practicing these days. It doesn't stop me from doing it, though.

My thing is why tell people things they already know?

to point out a obvious typo, or admin wouldn't let you post what ever other nonsense you wanted to reply with.  

They thought it was "rude" the first three.
You just can't get anything right, can you SPOTY king?

Which I noticed it took you hours to modify your post.  

You go from laughing your ass off, to passed out snoring in a matter of minutes.

Bipolar = Manic (no second a) - Depressive.
The Zzzzzzz was meant to show my utter and complete boredom with your moronic posts.