So many of you spend way too much time worrying about your provider in the wrong way. You wonder or guess at whether she orgasmed, whether or not she had to use lube, how into it she seemed etc. Yes your provider should be into it, or be a good actor, if she's not don't see her again, if reviews says she not (within reason) don't see her. Its that simple. If you spend the whole time during and after wondering whether the moans were real, whether she liked the way you ate her out etc, are you even enjoying it?  
 
If you're the fuck and go type this isn't really for you, you probably don't care too much about where your Johnson goes as long as its warm and wet. For others, listen to your provider and her body, feel out what's good and bad, but most importantly enjoy yourself.  
 
I can't fathom ever paying for an experience and not enjoying it, it would be a waste to me. Stop worrying about whether she's a 10 of the hooker scale, stop worrying about whether or not your board buddies will pat you on the back for banging her, just do it and have fun with it!  
 
If you find you have a better experience when you actually take the time to know your provider, do a 2 hour session and grab drinks, talk laugh and get acquainted. The sex is 10 times better, on her end and yours.  
 
Get out of your head and enjoy yourself, respectfully of course.

It makes me too nervous to enjoy the session as much as I should

Well said!

I just wanted to add that aside from being on point with the whole post, much of this fixation on the provider's pleasure being real or fake and orgasm .... sidebar....

(ZOMG! She squirted! That must mean she had a HUGE orgasm!.... Not. Female ejaculate - unlike male ejaculate has exactly zero to do with the quality of her orgasm. A powerful female orgasm is alot more complicated than that and OFTEN AND FOR MANY WOMEN, has no squirting performance at all. Her ejaculate is the equivalent of your prostate fluid. Ever had a prostate milking? It feels NOTHING like an orgasm for you. Same with women, meaning the presence of one isn't automatically proof of the other. And sometimes, when you are doing it wrong, you are just making her pee. Congrats.)

.... comes from a general lack of understanding about female orgasms and female sexuality as a whole. Women have a very heightened and exaggerated sensual landscape that they operate with, and because of that, they derive their pleasure from the sensuality in an experience. An orgasm, once achieved, is basically a snowball effect of many levels of pleasure that is NOT restricted to such a small and limited geographical area as her genitals. Haven't you ever wondered why having the right "atmosphere" and "setting the mood" and "foreplay" are so Universally consistent with females as a pre-requisite when all you need is permission and a place to do it? Well, there you go, boys. Global mystery solved.  

With that said, when a woman experiences a man, she isn't comparing favorite body parts for their similarity to her favorite porno reel in her head nor is she focusing exclusively on her genitalia and getting off on a power trip about being "serviced" (although this does happen but it is typically not enough. She still has to LIKE YOU to be able to get off because of you, EVEN if she is using you as a giant sex toy).

This is why women are far more forgiving of men's bodies and handicaps. We derive our pleasure with you from the many lovely things we can enjoy about being with you, and any sexual contact at that point, is the cherry on the sundae.  

So does that mean a provider is faking it when you aren't giving her all those sensual and romantic trappings? Maybe but since sex (and the enjoyment of it) is really about what is going on between our ears, not our legs, (especially if you are a woman), her pleasure with you has everything to do with what she thinks of you. ....because.... all in our heads, first (male and female) ... but women acutely experience all of you, including your personality - not just isolated body parts that look like money shots from a porno reel.  

So if you want your cherry topping, you actually have to ask yourself, "If I were her, would I have any reason to like me as a person in this room, right now?" If you find yourself getting a little annoyed that this is even a consideration or a question, this would be a good time to examine all your relationships with the women in your life and start sorting yourself out. Life is too short to keep short changing yourself of some of the most exquisite experiences you could ever have otherwise.

Especially the parts about not worrying if she's a 10 and what your buddies will think. And even what you said about worrying if she's having real orgasms. I think some guys think about this from sort of a conceited perspective, wanting to feel like some badass lover. But some of us honestly just want her to have a good time too. But when we think about this to the point of obsession and the date isn't as good as it should be, you're right that's fucked up.  

To me, the best thing you said was "Get out of your head and enjoy yourself". Good advice. It's what a lot of us need to get better at. Easier said than done sometimes.

Like Avs said, sometimes some of us get stuck in our heads and we don't enjoy as we should.

Good post Ayana, thank you.

-- Modified on 10/15/2016 9:17:47 PM

Please do not refer to a woman you choose to be your fantasy as a PROVIDER
 Some are soo "brilliant" here just refer to her as a hooker... ( good point about hooker scale ..)

Please be a man we want to please and man who may please us.  

Woman is always would a WOMAN.  

Hear that and take it on the tip of your tong .. sound is very sweet warm and intimat

to buy a consonant?

tell if she O'd, then you just need to go back to pussy school.  There are phyisiological indicators that are difficult to duplicate when they're faking.

she doesn't know what a consonant is.  She think pooping is vowel movement.

Forget about faking it.  Is it possible for a lady to have the orgasm and the client not know it?Lol  I get the feeling that this is happening.  Have any of you ladies had an orgasm with your client but didn't Verbally or physically show it?

-- Modified on 10/15/2016 11:27:45 PM

I have been deceived! I thought I was having squirting orgasms!
What your saying is...that the electronic fields that swoops over my body and drizzels cum from my lips down to my thighs for those few seconds isn't real? I'm suing myself for sexual misconduct!!! How dare I enjoy an orgasm that soaks the sheets.

Not many understand how good it feels and how real it truly is to get off so easily and multiple times

One would assume that at your age, you would have been more familiar with Our Bodies, Ourselves but judging by the defensive snark in your response, I will assume that this is just a response designed to draw attention back to yourself and whatever special talent you consider squirting as it may appeal to some of the less informed males on the board.

We all need talents. Congrats.

What exactly are you looking for here from the provider? Olympic judging score cards as we announce your 1-10 rating?

 

No, that doesn't mean what you might think. We KNOW it's a service we're paying for and a performance on your part. We want the experience to be as emotionally honest as possible, we want the encounter to be fully what it is. Just like when you buy an apple you want the apple to be fully an apple.

So when you fake it and we know you're faking it, it's a let down. Unless the jump can be made to This is how it is when she fakes it.

But if you don't have an orgasm, then you don't have an orgasm. That's the emotional honesty of the moment, and that's what makes it real experience.

I hate walking out the door wondering if she is aware that I know she faked it. I'm not going to call her on it. But...think about it.

No offense. I think your OP was very enlightening. I liked your advice. Just voicing the other side of it.

"She still has to LIKE YOU to be able to get off because of you,"
"We derive our pleasure with you from the many lovely things we can enjoy about being with you, "

Note: SOME- Do Not Speak For All - females are this way.  
I believe the more ADVANCED a female is , the more she can separate FEELINGS from the SEX act  
and the more she can get her ORGASM/PLEASURE, no matter the situation.
It also takes Performance Pressure off of the guy.

 
"If I were her, would I have any reason to like me as a person in this room, right now?"  
Note:  We are Not Getting MARRIED.  We are having SEX.  
This is more what they should be thinking in regards to their Wife or Girlfriend.
We, escorts, are in a different category.  

Yet,
I have noticed in the updated version of the Whore Manual that the rules are geared more for wives, not escorts.

There are so many women, civilian and escort, that do not know how to Allow pleasure...do not know how to orgasm.
They anchor all kinds of emotional crap to their vagina and expect the next guy to fix it.

It is their responsibility for their orgasm and their pleasure, not yours.  
Do not take it personally.

Yes, escorts fake orgasm.  Yes, wives fake orgasm.  Yes, girlfriends fake orgasms.
They're doing it because that is what They want to do at that moment. They have MANY reasons why.
Orgasm is ultimately in their Control, whether they want to or not

Well, there we have some more human condition. It is interesting that some people have a belief that it is not possible for the human body to react differently than their own.  
Just as some people enjoy a hard spanking, and other's just feel pain. Some people feel orgasms differently than others

Keep in mind,
there are many different LEVELS of Orgasm for a female.
I think of them as LAYERS  of Orgasm.


-- Modified on 10/16/2016 12:42:24 AM

All I want to know is how good a job her lips and tongue are doing.  Not a problem if her hands do some assisting.

And that's a no-brainer decision.

-- Modified on 10/16/2016 9:56:07 AM

Brilliant, perfect, spot on

I know what you mean.
When I started to Learn my Orgasm abilities, I constantly worried more about the other person.

When you relax completely, and know deeply that you deserve this State of WellBeing as your Birthright,
then,  
you can go safely, to places in your mind where your fantasies exist
and you can truly enjoy and soak in the PLEASURE  that you deserve

Roflmao. Ok. Heu, I know! Let me go find some dirty douchebag who makes you really don't like being around and let's see how that orgasm thing works for you. I am sure there are plenty of schizophrenic homeless guys around that would be willing to volunteer for this job as much as any other job.

I mean, it's not like having an orgasm has anything at all to do with wanting to spend more than 5 minutes naked with someone.

You are right. Let's see how this works for you.

CGood advice.F**** fake paid sessions.

END OF MESSAGE

that an Orgasm is gotten from another person.
ORGASM starts in one's brain.
You are Judging so fiercely that is interfering with your ability to see another's point of view.

 
We are on the TER Board and you are wanting, desperately, to turn guys
into Feeling, Emotional, Lovey Dovey people , or else,  
They will not be Accepted by ESCORTS.

Maybe they would like us to be More FUN and Creative to be around,
and Not Depend So much on their Behavior or what they Look like for our own Happiness. (like a wife or girlfriend does)

We should not depend on them for our Emotional Wellbeing because  
they have another Life that involves their Feelings.

Orgasm is a bodily function that can be had with Lots of Fun and Love for Self.
No need to turn someone into something they are not, for our Satisfaction.

I guess she has never done any "grudge fucking" either.

I know this is a discussion board and people are free to pick their own topic as long as the meet the TER guidelines, but I noticed the OP tries to make everything about P4P cerebral instead of physical, could that be a compensation mechanism due to her shortfalls in those other areas where hookers are supposed to excel? just saying...

Oops, I said OP, but I meant Samois

-- Modified on 10/16/2016 9:34:52 AM

Nothing like some
Throw Down,
Animalistic,
Sex

 
Like the OP says,  "Get out of your head and enjoy yourself"

Fucking should be FuN!

I have been with numerous women who don't give a fuck about "atmosphere" or "setting the mood" to achieve an orgasm.  

Has Samois ever had a "quickie"? Sex for sex's sake, with no build up, no atmosphere, no mood setting? Raw, animalistic sex is often devoid of these things that she feels are prerequisites.

Sure, many women are as Samois describes but when she continually uses absolutes to place people in boxes is where her point breaks down rather quickly.

Her demeaning, know-it-all attitude is fun though. LOL

-- Modified on 10/16/2016 11:40:41 AM

An both times were as a result off having a super intense orgasm, or squirting cause a super intense orgasm, I dunno it was like which came first, the chicken or the egg?  While it was pleasurable I literally felt almost incapacitated or a few moments and that wasn't pleasurable to me, lol.

I've heard men say a prostate milking is a very intense pleasurable orgasm. I don't think one person here can say what another person is or is not experiencing.

And those two squirting episodes I have had...I got myself off so please guys, don't even think about it...

Steph xoxo

You aren't offending me. I am enjoying your contributions to this conversation very much.

 
I swear to god, I had a long and brilliant response to this written and then because I was half asleep on my cell phone typing it, I accidentally hit the back button and erased a lot of really time invested thought in my response. Arrggghhh!!!!

Is it really honesty, though or a sexual validation? Neither is bad but if it is the latter that is really being desired, the giant catch-22 here is this.

On the one hand, providers could be seen by some folks as a lay-expert in this matter by means of comparison through ample field experience, making their assessment have a more real value than some academic stamp of approval based on dry and limited statistical measures and sampling. That makes complete sense. After all, who would know better about something than someone who has extensive, direct experience with it?

On the other hand, the perception of providers is frequently dragged back down to being called liars (she's faking it. she's a hooker, that's what they do. You are paying her to act like she likes it/you) - as if the very idea that a professional might actually enjoy their job sometimes, seem like as big a far-fetched fantasy as Donald Trump thinking his toupee looks perfectly natural to other people.

Gentlemen, are you familiar with this? She demands the truth from you. Be honest, I want the truth!, she demands but in the same breath, it is clear that she believes you are just a big liar and anything you say is still going to be considered suspect. Does she ever get what she wants/needs from you? Do you ever feel like you can give her what she wants in this situation? And what is your typical response when you are trapped in this catch-22?

So, the catch-22, of course is that if you are, actually, wanting some kind of sexual validation or confirmation that you are competent, desirable or otherwise an acceptable partner for any woman/man in your life outside of this moment (and who doesn't want to be told they did a great job? We all want that and should want that. Its called feedback and positive reinforcement! Rewards come in many forms!), .... it is nearly impossible to want it from someone and in the same breath, believe that they are lying to you! No one can win this game and the person who suffers the most is the suspicious person because they can never get what they need the most because they refuse to trust it so they go around being needy and insecure forever. (Sound like anyone you have ever dated before?)

Sure, folks lie and exaggerate to make you feel good. And someone wanting you to feel good is a bad thing???? And some folks really do enjoy what they do and enjoy doing it with you. Don't let the jealous haters try to convince you that you didn't give someone an amazing time. They weren't there. What the hell do they know about your charm and mad skills in a magical moment with lots of chemistry and the right combination of multiple factors that day? Here's a secret. When providers are dealing with a genuinely sweet guy who really wants to be improve his game (and is trying) and could benefit from pointers, damn near every single one of us will step up to the challenge and try to help bring him up to speed because (surprise!), we want you to be happy when you aren't with us too. Happy men make great clients and it doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

A parable for when you aren't sure what kind of person you should see providers as:

 
The Town Up Ahead  

Once, a man pulled up into a gas station in the country, and asked the gas station attendant, "What are the people like in the next town up ahead?" The attendant said, "What were the people like in the town you just came from?" "Awful people," the man responded. "Rude, cold, hostile, abrupt, unfriendly. They wouldn't give me the time of day." "Well," said the attendant, "I'm sorry to say it, but you're going to find exactly the same sort of people in the next town up ahead." A bit later, another driver pulled in, heading in the same direction as the first. "What are the people like in the next town up ahead?" the second man asked. The attendant said, "What were the people like in the town you just came from?" "Wonderful people," the second man responded. "Friendly, warm, helpful, patient, kind. They went out of their way to help a stranger." "Well," said the attendant, "I'm happy to tell you that you're going to find exactly the same kind of people in the next town up ahead.

To follow some folks logic,

 
if you didn't squirt, you clearly didn't have an actual orgasm.

 
Just repeating what other people seem to be determined to believe.

I find it interesting to see what is pushing your buttons here.

Thanks for the revelations.

"Raw, animalistic sex is often devoid of these things that she feels are prerequisites."

Umm. Not to confuse anyone with technicalities here but those factors WOULD be considered part of the "atmosphere" or "mood".

LOL

 
 

... "Honesty is the best policy."

One of the reasons my ATF is my all-time favorite is she's honest with me.  She's a self-described hard come-er. And she responds to only certain kind of stimulation.  Some things that most women seem to like don't work with her.  Over time I learned what she likes, but if she doesn't come that's fine with her and me. She's more focused on my pleasure, and her knowing she's pleased her client is what makes her happy.

If I go deer hunting, get a buck in my sights, fire and miss...okay I feel disappointed for the moment. But I'd try my luck again before the end of the season. If EVERY TIME I hunted, somebody came along with me and killed the deer for me so I would always see it drop on the first shot, I'd probably quit.

When a woman fakes an orgasm and I don't know she faked it, okay she put one over, I believe her and as far as my reality of the experience goes it was a real orgasm [TRUMPET FANFARE].

When she really has an orgasm and I believe her, best of all worlds.

When she fakes and I know she's faking, it's like she wants it to be over.

When she doesn't have an orgasm, okay maybe next time. She probably enjoyed the experience on some level. This might sound cold, but with a girlfriend, if she doesn't always get off, I feel more comfortable with the honesty. With an escort-- don't take this wrong-- I feel she'll probably have that glorious experience with somebody soon enough, so I don't feel bad or that I let her down.

I know that people want to please their partners, and even with small things they sometimes pretend to be enjoying an experience more than they actually are. For me, sex is an experience where emotional honesty is more essential than watching a movie together or spending a day at the zoo.

I'm not really arguing with you. In fact I think we're in agreement. If we're doing role-play and my secretary is seducing me, of course I know the woman I'm with is not really my secretary and I know that she is not really so hot for me that she has to have it right there on the desk. But, for example, if I held her in such a way that it caused pain, I'd want her to say, "That hurts," so that I would not cause her anymore pain. Isn't that what anyone would expect? So...when people are touching each other and physically exploring what they like, we want--or at least I want--honest responses as to how they feel.

Everyone involved in P4P has separated sex from the promise of a lifelong love. Of course. Some of us don't want to separate sex from romance, we like a slow dance of getting to know each other and gradually revealing ourselves to each other. Okay, to some that might not be too important. But separating sex from pleasure makes no sense to me. So pleasure required a free and honest expression of how it feels.

Maybe I just see the whole thing upside down. Maybe it's just a suspension of disbelief like sitting in the audience and watching a stage play. But in a session, as I see it, we're both the actors interacting, reacting...not just performing for each other.

Thanks for taking the time to read all this. I just writing this post I clarified something for myself. Who says you can't learn by talking?! lol

It's refreshing. If they know they don't have to hit the moon in order to make the client happy they can just relax, take it as it comes, and get into it.

I've never "given" a woman an orgasm, I have quite often provided the stimulus that she needed to allow herself to have an orgasm.

END OF MESSAGE

Seeing you scramble to either not be able to defend your silly statements, or in my case, weasel out of your obvious non sequitur I pointed out to you, is hysterical.

But keep up with your know it all condescension. THAT, you are VERY good at! LOL

Thanks for the giggles.

Good hard fuck ASAP so we can analyze this shit even more lol!!

-- Modified on 10/16/2016 4:14:45 PM

I loved every word of this response. Thanks for making my day!

END OF MESSAGE

I did figure this out a few months back. Once I did I started to enjoy the session a lot more and so did she.

It is good to hear it from a provider point of view.

I also had three ladies tell me that if they did not like me they would not come out to visit me. That is when I finally figure it out. Just enjoy the session with a beautiful twenty something lady nothing more.

...but I don't worry about it. I do want her to enjoy the session and I put some effort into that. However, that's because IME I've found that a happy provider makes me an even happier client.

Ex-plosive  

And Jake bellow is his post - he is master in the de coding  fkhm  
 Want have a prove he Is a pro in stpd ( I bet and in stds as well) see? How well he knows a subject? Hahah follow what he will pst now