I find these terms an attempt to pigeon hole the group.

I prefer to call them by the names they have chosen to be called, as in Lauren.

with those who are tantrikas, as that term is often used to describe themselves.

I've given up the search for the perfect name for providers and hobbyists.  It's often discussed, but nothing has come of it so far.

I like Goddess thhats great n u can be my *trick* lol

ok seriously I think the term used shows a sign of the state of mind involved in the matter.

I jthink of myself as a Companion and I have clients and some are dear friends. The term client I think for me is what the white envelope is for youj, it is a strong reminder of the line we have between us. Reminds me all along this is a job. Sometimes I have to slap myself back to realijty with some of my *clients*friends I have been seeing many for 6 plus yrs. We have shared more than a bed and a romp. Some I see weekly or bi weekly after 6 plujs yrs of a weekly visit or two i am bound to feel attachhed. If we go a week with out seeing each other I miss him, so *clients* reminds me that the line no matter how invisible it is Still there and can not be crossed.

A "provider" may be thought of as a "temporary girlfriend", but why put a label on it? If I've got a date with someone I use their name; makes it more like a real GFE than just a "short term encounter". As usual, YMMV.

For some reason, I have recently found myself in discussions about the terms hobbyist and provider. Have not found anyone who liked them.

One lady chooses to call herself a mistress and her clients husbands. Quite upscale, she.

Another prefers to be called whore or slut, and her clients johns. Surprisingly, she is a very sweet GFE, not cheap and not that wild - but she appears to be comfortable with her calling. She only shared this when I asked, of course, but now that I know, I am enjoying calling her my sweet whore, though I admit it took a little getting used to.

I am okay with the word hobbyist, but the term provider seems so commercial and limiting for the ladies. Poetically, one might call them "angels of elation," alliteratively "purveyors of pleasure" (still pretty commercial, tho), many seem to like the term courtesan, mistress is okay but does suggest a more extended relationship than is appropriate for many. Lovers is a nice word, except to the degree that it suggests falling - I guess the possessive can only be used with the plural? (So for example, "I am meeting a lover"  or "I enjoy time with my lovers" would be good, but "he/she is my lover" not so much).

Or perhaps you prefer the less romantic approach - fuck doll and old fuck might fit well for a lot of us (easily shortened to FD and OF, too).

I know some will ask what difference any of this makes. Easy enough: naming something changes it, defines it. Consider this - do our posting styles follow our handles, or vice versa?

So anyone up for word play? What words do you like, or dislike, using for the boys and girls who play our games? Why? I guess the truth is that I have not yet found a term I like for the (lovely) ladies, so my hope is that someone will offer me the perfect one.

Zig

But the actual words used are not as important as is viewing commercial sex realistically.

This includes providers as well as clients.  It is best to see things realistically.

When I first got into this business I spent what I thought was a lot of time on my name.. Mistress Jessica. Which I loved then and now. My only problem then and now with the name was that gentlemen had and expectation that I was A BDSM Goddess.. Don't get me wrong I can and do enjoy such games
But, that was never my intent. The term Mistress comes from the early 1800's era..... when Marreid men kept their mistress in a lavish lifestyle in exchange for pleausre. It was a very common and accepted practice......Needless to say being new to the business and having a name like that gave me all kinds of learning experiences.. The clients I expected were not the ones that called..

Then I choose DaytimeDistractions.. The goal, trying to convey the message that daytime is best. Meaning Married, discreet business men.......

What words do I like. Oh, that depends on my mood.... In the bedroom I love to hear all the dirty words.. Outside of the bedroom I prefer to be called your friend, lover, Therapist, or  business partner or really whatever comes to mind in a way that is comfortable for us both. Gotta say sweet whore is cute...  

I will never ever, refer to you as a John( tacky) I will usually refer to you as a friend, maybe a client,
I tend to give you nicknames in ways that I will remember you. examples are Cardaddy, PITA, Strawberry shortcake, and licks and nibbles...etc, etc...

Hate, hate the word Hobbist and when I hear it I tend to run in the other direction.........

Also hate prostitute. The stero typical image comes to my mind and that is not who I am
escort is ok
Courtesan, is one of my favorites.
I even like Lady of the evening.....

I have liked "Lady of Liesure" from the 40's I believe.  There is also "Soiled Dove" which was used in the South at one point.

I have no problem with whore: The English word whore derives from the Old English word hōra, from the Indo-European root kā meaning "desire".

I also don't mind the term slut, as I feel those terms need to be reclaimed.  However this is more appropriate during hot sex or kidding around then as a serious was to address a person. In ancient Greece we were Pornai and the Hetairai.   In Europe from the 19the century on Demimondaine was commonly used.

-- Modified on 3/16/2011 11:20:36 AM

Everyone knows what you're talking about when you use the term "escort" yet it carries a purely subjective sophistication that I prefer.  I regard it as a slightly more modern form of the term "courtesan." (which sounds insincerely archaic to me... like when Americans deliberately use British pronunciation to make themselves sound smart)

I also like "professional," which I use in circumstances where I wish for the listener/reader to make the additional mental connection on their own (i.e., less  specific than "escort").  Since the physiological origin of humor is a quirk that occurs when the human brain reconciles a subconscious pattern with an unpredicted/unexpected reality, I find that the term "professional" (or "pro") is handy in dry, humorous contexts because it breaks context patterns and forces that mental rewind.

There is an additional element of humor to "professional," because the term itself originates from the traditional "professions" (doctor, lawyer, and clergy) which were called such because they forsook wages out of an altruistic desire to serve their fellow man -- in essence, selflessly "professing" their lives to the greater good of their community.  This, of course, has been twisted in modern times, where lawyers, in particular, are often highly compensated and often regarded as selfish.  But the original meaning loosely and humorously applies to escorts -- hence the now ubiquitous quip about "the oldest profession."

As for hobbyists, I am partial to "client," though I haven't given it much thought.

Because if you only meet someone once, it is a very different type of experience then if you, say, had regular appointments with someone. This might affect which label is used...

I, personally, do not really have a preference. They are all certainly different euphemisms for the same type of arrangement. I liked your "purveyors of pleasure" though- it kind of has a nice ring

Verbosity might demand something like, "The human embodiment of the Celebration of Life" - my view is - they are Ladies! As far as what we should be called, put a beautiful ass in my hands and I don't care if you call me Dick Nixon - I'll be happy!

I have no preference what I call providers except I don't like derogatory terms like: hooker, whore, payed bitch, slut, and the like. I also don't like to refer to them as goddess or lovers as the first is over the top and the second is reserved for my wife. She is my only lover. Providers are just people I pay for companionship and sex or may in some cases even be friends as well but never real lovers to me.

I basically try to refer to the ladies by the terms they refer to themselves. The most popular term seems to be "provider" in this game so that is what I usually refer to them as h.ere

As for what I prefer to be called as a hobbyist, anything besides a trick, mark, or lover. John, warmonger, client, friend, and the like all are fine by me. I just don't like trick or mark because it shows a lack of respect and a basic level of respect is important to me from the people I pay. I don't like lover for the same reasons I will not call an escort that. I am only one persons lover, my wife. I may have sex with others but I do not make love to them, there is a difference.

When I joined TER last year after 15 years away from the "hobby," I was amazed at all the new terminology.  I even posted that I thought "hobby" and "hobbyist," were incredibly weak words and that provider was little better.  I got flamed for my temerity and have ended up using the terms.  But I appreciate an effort to find something better and wish you luck.  I don't mind being called a "john" or a "trick" and even think the word "whore" or "hooker" is hot.  Then again, I think "cunt" is pretty hot, too.  There's also "companion," which is OK and "courtesan" is even better.  I'll have to think about it some more because I've got to go fuck a whore now...

How about "Companion"? Like in the old tv show Firefly? Can't wait for a future like that where it ain't frowned upon and companions are somewhat revered.

I recently accompanied a gentleman for two months on a trip, which was a bittersweet "gig" for me.  With that said, I considered my role and explained to my friends and family that I was a companion.  There's more to the story, and I won't bore you with more details, but "companion" fit the bill.  It does sound a little bit like one of those Golden Retriever dogs used to be a helper for disabled people, but....

Travel companion, sexual companion, conversational companion, dinner companion, shower companion, whatever the occasion, I guess that's what we are.  

I'm not sure I like it, though....

I always feel like I learned something new when you post.  
Or I discover a new angle I hadn't thought of before.

I can relate to that completely.

I enjoy colorful language and tend to like quirky, uncommon terms that are wry and witty. Terms commmon to other eras are also fun. I use the term that fits my mood. e.g. "call girl", "working girl", "whore", "pussy vendor", "courtesan", "lady of the evening", "special friend", "therapist", "ex-dancer", "bought woman" or a decriptor such as "she's not free but she's very easy."

I NEVER use these terms with a negative or insulting way, but since some terms are almost always used in the perjorative, I would only use them in certain company.

I do feel slighted sometimes that our society's double standard for men's and women's sexuality has given us far fewer terms for the men who buy than the for the women who sell. I'd like to adopt a colorful monikor or two for what I do, but alas...

With that being said, I am not offended by a tem that another might place on me, no matter what spirit it is used in. Even so, I don't like "john", never have and not sure why either.

I don't care for hobbyist. I'm not in a hobby when with a [fill in your term for female sex worker here]. I am a client, so I guess that's ok by me. Similarly, I guess I would use "escort" as a basic, neutral term. Even though I've never had a rent-a-girl accompany me anywhere other than the bed at the place we met.

I created a list of interesting terms both current and historical for these women who I adore. If I can find it I'll post some of the terms I found interesting.

In the mean time...

Anyone have more colorful terms for the MEN involved other than "monger" or "john"???


HH

And, I'll even answer to "Hey you," though being a customer, I've never been called that.

I'd much rather spend time with an escort than a "provider".  I've always disliked that terminology.

How do you refer to a group of people with a commonality without giving them a name?  When you are dealing with individuals, yes their individual name is the best way to go.  However when talking in broader terms, you need to name things.

Every-time you talk about a provider, do you really want to say "Women who earn a living by companionship"? It could make sentences unnecessarily long to say and write, and becomes painfully redundant over time.

-- Modified on 3/17/2011 12:21:32 PM

She once referred to me as a client when another provider was knocking at the door.

Other than that, we've never referred to each other as hobbyist or provider.

I've been called friend, lover, boyfriend, sweetie, babe, baby, daddy and even whore. lol.

In the end IMO it's whatever makes you feel better..... in the end the guy is still paying for play and the lady is being paid to lay or bend over....whatever lol.