As we ring in the new year, I would like to take this opportunity to dump.

For every guy who calls trying to lowball when essentially he's broke, has no money.

For every guy who emails using different email names to just talk.

For every guy who sends me an email saying I'm fat.

For every guy who tells me I'm old.

For every guy who no shows.

For every guy who blocks a phone number.

For every guy who writes a review when he's never seen me.

For every guy who won't pay for the hotel.

For every guy who won't be seen in public with me.

For every guy who didn't remember I had a birthday some time this year.

For every guy uses up all my towels.

For every guy who tells me about all the beautiful young women he's spend time with.

For every guy who WON'T PAY $250 F'IN DOLLARS FOR A 1 HOUR INCALL BECAUSE HE'S "JUST A TEACHER"

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uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

THANKS.  I FEEL BETTER.

even though you're using an alias, phrases like "be seen in public with", and the fact that (you said) you're older, (assuming) you post occasionally here, charges 250...  (and a few other things mentioned in your posts) how many choices are there?  I think I know some of your other aliases too, lol.

Is this typical hobbyist behavior?  Or are you just drunk and making this sh*t up?  LOL  I know I'm pretty well plastered (Happy New Year).  I can honestly say that I've never personally done any of these things, but I'd love to hear from some honest aliases to know if they ever have.  

I once knew a provider who wouldn't be seen in public with ME (I mean, I know I'm fat, but I'm not THAT bad looking!).  No reason was ever given.  

I think I tried to negotiate with a provider only ONCE, after I arrived at her place and realized that I was $20 short, and had left my ATM card and credit cards at home.  I was embarrassed but she actually took offense.  I resolutely told her that I wasn't prepared to drive all the way back home to Brooklyn from her home in Suffolk County (Long Island) JUST to get her $20.  I was just about ready to tear the hair out of my head when she told me to leave.  If I'd known about TER at the time, I think I would have written a very bad (and very fake) review of her (she's now out of business).

You mean to tell me that guys actually email you to say that you're fat?!  Being Italian, I certainly don't mind a little extra something to hold on to.  Fatness is just the price we pay for big natural knockers.  I think it's cute.

Maybe you need some time off for yourself? There are times, when I need that time off, and I do take it off. There is nothing wrong with admitting it to yourself. I hope that things get better for the year, 2004

Sincerely,

Mel

Reumping

...welcome to customer service bascially,as you already know,but haven't already given these guys a category in which to put them,these guys fall into the category of "Time Wasting Idiot".

This class of individual,for some reason or other, has absolutely no clue as to how their behaviour affects others or how it,indeed,affects them and how they manage their time(witness the long end-of-the-month lines at Motor Vehicle Registration,bank,and State safety inspection facilities.)

You can,however,minimise their impact. And one way to do that is to have a personal goal with each visit. And that goal,IMHO,is to complete the trasaction;from the knock at the door to the kick in the shorts as they leave your incall. The donation must be in your posession once the client leaves. You win when this happens.

Sure,just TRYING to deliver customer service is a pain in the A$$. Learn to be proactive. When a client books with you,what he is mostly looking for are the "performance acronyms" you know,bbbjtc,hj,cim,et al. and he wants as many as he can get in the time booked. Even if the doofus wants and or complains/brags about all the emotional stuff(I've been with a lot of beutiful women,blah,blah)he really,in the end,wants all the acronyms he can get. That's it. These idiots will TALK about a million things but in the end,all they want is the action.

Your Birthday,towels(bring your own)your age,size? Fuggeddabouttit! Its really not important. What IS important is collecting that donation and staying safe and if your economic needs mandate it,increading the size of the donation.


All the other pain in the A$$ stuff hobbyists pull is just part of provider/hobbyist relations. If it is stiff as a diving board during the session and a limp noodle when its over and he is complaining about the colour of the drapes in the room,hey,who is the problem?


Try not to make the business of providing anything more than what it is. Don't go looking for birthday favours,ect. It has nothing remtoly to do with your business.

My .02 cents

...aug5,that provider you stiffed for twenty bucks did exactly the right thing to you,asking you to leave. Hey,all you were trying to do was create your own discount,as far as i'm concerned. Now,I wouldn't be mean or anything but I would have terminated the session. The reason the gal is no longer in business probably has nothing to do with her business tactics or letting slackers like you get away with skimming the donation.

What you shoulda done,dingy,was count your donation before you got there. You shoulda kept you ATM card with you as no one can use it without a PIN. If all else failed,you should have apologised an rescheduled once you arrived a the providers incall.

THEEEEEEENNNNNN,MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE(LIGHT BULB CLICKING ON) ....BEGAN TO N-E-G-O-T-I-A-T-E.   SEEEEEEE!

Reumping

Although many might make a light quip about this rant I have heard these complaints before. The glitter is not all gold in this hobby, That goes for provider and hobbyist alike. The retirement rate would tend to back me up on this statement. It may be the "oldest profession" but it's far from the easiest and although we may call it a "hobby" there is very little to call relaxing about it.

Reumping - OK, so now what? What to do differently?..

Okay..since this post has spurred a rebuttal, negative post, I've decided to do this post. You can say the same thing, but saying it differently becomes more palatable. There are bad providers. There are bad clients. There are bad neighbors and there are bad spouses. Such is life.
What does that have to do with anything? Because you can't control OTHERS, you can only control how you feel about it, and what you do about it. The important thing is to be the best you can be, provider OR client.

So, here's a 'do-over':

As we ring in the new year, I would like to take this opportunity to dump.

For every guy who calls trying to lowball when essentially he's broke, has no money. CHOOSE YOUR CLIENTELE CAREFULLY. MANY PEOPLE DON'T HANDLE THEIR PERSONAL FINANCES INTELLIGENTLY, WHY DO YOU EXPECT ANYTHING DIFFERENTLY IN THE HOBBY? CHOOSE MEN WHO AREN'T LIVING BEYOND THEIR MEANS, OR WHO DIDN'T HAVE TO 'SAVE UP' TO SEE YOU.
OR, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GIVE THE GUY A CHANCE, ASK HIM IF YOU CAN KEEP HIM IN MIND FOR WHEN YOU RUN A SPECIAL, AND MENTION A FEE YOU KNOW THAT'S 'DO-ABLE' FOR HIM.
ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE WIN-WIN SOLUTION, AND ALWAYS ALLOW WORTHY GENTLEMEN TO 'SAVE FACE'.

For every guy who emails using different email names to just talk. THERE'S A BUTTON CALLED 'DELETE'. USE IT. THAT'S WHAT CHAT ROOMS ARE FOR. YOU'RE RUNNING A BUSINESS, NOT A CHAT ROOM.
DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME.

For every guy who sends me an email saying I'm fat. AGAIN, USE THE DELETE BUTTON.

For every guy who tells me I'm old. NOW, 'THIS' IS GETTING 'OLD'..DELETE, DELETE..

For every guy who no shows. IT HAPPENS. WHO KNOWS WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED. HIS SPOUSE MIGHT'VE SAID THEY HAVE TO RUN JR. OFF TO URGENT CARE - BOSS MIGHT'VE ASKED HIM TO STAY LATE AND WORK ON A PROJECT, AND THERE'S NO PRIVACY.
DOES HE GET BACK TO YOU WITH AN EXPLANATION? APOLOGY?
IF NOT, EASY SOLUTION. PUT HIM IN YOUR 'DO NOT SEE' FOLDER.
NEXT??

For every guy who blocks a phone number. AND, SO? THEY HAVE A LOT TO LOSE. THEY ARE SCARED. SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO EDUCATE, JUST AS DIMNDJIM'S POST ABOUT THE HOBBY IS TO EDUCATE. HE'S CALLING YOU WITH A BLOCKED NUMBER BECAUSE HE'S NERVOUS AND SCARED. IF YOU DECIDE TO ACCEPT CONVERSATION WITH HIM, GUESS WHAT? MAKE HIM FEEL AT EASE..

For every guy who writes a review when he's never seen me. OK, JOIN THE CLUB OF MANY. REPORT IT TO STAFF, AND LET THEM DEAL WITH IT.

For every guy who won't pay for the hotel. YEAH, NOW I HAVE TO ADMIT, THAT'S ONE THAT REALLY, REALLY GETS UNDER MY SKIN. I'LL GET A DATE ALL LINED UP, RIGHT DOWN TO A FEW HOURS BEFORE COUNTDOWN, AND THEN HE'LL EMAIL AND SAY, 'OHMIGOSH - DO YOU HAVE INCALL, I FORGOT TO ASK??', AND THEN I REPLY, 'NO, I DON'T.' TO WHICH, THEY EMAIL BACK. OH, WELL LET'S CANCEL, AND CALL ME WHEN YOU DO. IF EMAIL HAD A SLAM, CLICK, DIAL TONE, THERE WOULD BE ONE! I WOULD HONESTLY PREFER THAT THEY SAY SOMETHING LIKE, CAN WE WORK SOMETHING REGARDING THE ROOM, OR WHATEVER, AND YET I UNDERSTAND THAT'S A CATCH-22, TOO, BECAUSE THEN IT LOOKS LIKE PRICE-HAGGLING.
SO, WHAT CAN YOU DO? SAME AS #1 - NEXT?

For every guy who won't be seen in public with me. AND WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE THAT IS? AND WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT? DO YOU DRESS IN SUCH A WAY THAT IT'S A NEON SIGN SAYING 'HOOKER! HOOKER! HOOKER!?' ARE YOU RIDICULOUSLY YOUNGER THAN MOST OF YOUR CLIENTS, IN WHICH CASE IT DRAWS ATTENTION BECAUSE OF THE SHEER UNLIKELIHOOD THAT YOU TWO 'BELONG' TOGETHER?
MAYBE YOU ARE DATING ON HIS HOME TURF AND HE'S LIKELY TO RUN INTO SOMEONE HE KNOWS AND IS SPARING **YOU** (TOO) ANY EMBARRASSMENT??
BALL'S IN YOUR COURT ON THAT ONE..

For every guy who didn't remember I had a birthday some time this year. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN MARRIED?!?!
WAKE UP. IT'S NICE IF THEY DO, BUT IT'S NOT REQUIRED.

For every guy uses up all my towels. WE PROVIDE A SERVICE. HE DESERVES TO HAVE THE BEST, MOST COMFORTABLE TIME I CAN PROVIDE UNDER WHATEVER CIRCUMSTANCES.
IF I HAD AN INCALL LOCATION, THESE GUYS WOULD BE SO DANGED SPOILED, IT'S NOT FUNNY. I'D HAVE A SPECIAL BATHROBE! USE ALL THE TOWELS YOU NEED, HONEY, THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE THERE FOR!

For every guy who tells me about all the beautiful young women he's spend time with. YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS A COMMON ONE, AND I'VE EXPERIENCED IT, TOO. VERY TACKY INDEED.
THAT ONE TAKES SOME CREATIVITY - SOMETIMES SUBTLE SARCASM, SAID WITH A DELIGHTFULLY WICKED SMILE, CAN GET YOUR POINT ACROSS. HE'LL UNDERSTAND HE WAS JUST A JACKASS, BUT YOU WON'T HAVE MADE HIM **FEEL** LIKE ONE!
AGAIN, SOME THINGS YOU LEARN FROM BEING MARRIED..

For every guy who WON'T PAY $250 F'IN DOLLARS FOR A 1 HOUR INCALL BECAUSE HE'S "JUST A TEACHER"
REFER BACK TO THOSE WHO CAN'T AFFORD, AND SPEND BEYOND THEIR MEANS. AGAIN, COMING UP WITH A WIN-WIN, EVERYBODY FEELS GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES THING IS PART OF THE CREATIVE FUN.

"WELL, I HAPPEN TO BE RUNNING A TEACHER'S SPECIAL NEXT WEEK - WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR IT IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED?"

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uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

THANKS.  I FEEL BETTER.
Me, too. But, more importantly, I hoped this helped YOU.

Sedona


-- Modified on 1/1/2004 6:57:48 PM

If a guy calls up & asks if I have a special rate, sometimes I ask him exactly what he thinks is fair. He tells me "X amount." I then say "Okay, that'll work fine. When would you like to come over?" He then says "Skank ass wh***, you ain't worth $10." Every single guy who tries to bargain, hasn't actually scheduled when I gave him what he wanted in terms of price. Instead, he calls me a name though I've been nothing but nice to him.

80% of the guys now are playing games. that number used to be 15% max. now, the majority are out to lie, steal or work a con. I have had a lot of cash and dash guys taking the envelope back on the way out and slipping it in their pockets and I paid my own money for the hotel. This year, I even had a guy try to choke me to death and he paid me well. I gave him back all his money and sent him away.

80% this year have been thieves, scam artists or violent. Everything changed when the economy tanked. They still want to play but they now want free and they do it by paying you and then sneaking the money back out or by threatening that if you don't give it back, they will kill you. If they know they can't get free, then they pay and take it out on you by trying to hurt you physically.

Thanks Sedona for giving me some ideas on how to handle some problems I'm having. You are really sweet and honest.

REFER TO THE LA BOARD FOR A PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHY I HAVE TO DUMP. AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS GUY HAS BEEN AFTER ME FOR 2 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Modified on 1/1/2004 4:25:57 PM

-- Modified on 1/1/2004 4:41:52 PM

"I think I tried to negotiate with a provider only ONCE.."

Once is one to many..negotiating is tacky.  Always know what the donation is up front.  Whether you were short  $10, $20, or $100, I would have kicked you out too..

If 80% have been scams, thieves, etc, perhaps it is your screening methods that need to be re-evaluated.

I agree. That's why I went to an appointment form just recently. I always wondered why some women screened so heavily. It seemed like an invasion of privacy but now I understand.

I can see why some guys get angry and start to hate women because they feel women won't trust them. "Come on, let me come to your home. I'm a nice guy." You might be a nice guy but there might be 1 problem case in every 20 and how do we know exactly which guy it is. We don't.

I just don't want the good guys who are kind, genuine and honest to get the brunt of the "caution/fear factor". But not all men out there in this are balanced. Some are dangerous and I want the good guys to have a better understanding of what providers have to cope with.

2003 brought one case in San Antonio where a girl was killed and another one in DC. There was also a problem case in Boston with a robber. These were all aired publically via newspapers.

It's no wonder many providers work under the radar or "retire" an identity and assume another. If you have a stalker, you can either stand tall and deal with what you have to deal with or you can run.  

My guess is this is largely a control issue. Some men who don't have it in their lives attempt to impose fear in a stranger as a means of empowerment.

Screening clientele is essential but just because someone holds a job at a decent company, drives a station wagon and wears  Polo shirts doesn't necessarily mean they aren't out of their mind. It's all a gamble. So if you ask yourself what is fair per hour, ask yourself what is the price of the possibility of a life lost.

If your wife was going to go to meet a complete stranger in a hotel room for 1 hour and you had to sit at home and wonder whether she would ever come home, would you think the risk was worth it for $150? For $300?  For $500?  For $1000?  Let's pretend the provider is your daughter, your sister or your beloved. How would you feel about lowballers if you had to sit home and listen to your wife talk about them. That's what you are if you are bargaining, someone's wife's, daughter's or girlfriend's daily agony.

If you are the kindhearted huggy teddybear who shows up with a smile looking to have a good time, and you don't lowball, you don't put her down, you don't play games, you become the opposite, a golden man, a memory left on her mind that brightens her day and her life forever.




-- Modified on 1/1/2004 7:09:49 PM

Was he a regular? Mine was short $100 this week and he's been trying to get it to me all week but I've been busy. Might get around to it tomorrow if I'm available. lol

Hey, come on guys!  We're talking about $20 on a $300 bill.  I didn't even consider it to be a negotiation at all.  I told her bluntly that I would give her the $280 and that I was deeply sorry.  You guys are obviously not from New York.  To get from the city to Suffolk County I had to drive for 2 and a half hours!  Christ, a little sympathy, no?  

I hadn't intentionally meant to stiff anyone; the reason I was $20 short was, however, my fault (to a degree).  I had gotten out of a meeting much later than expected; then I heard about some ridiculous traffic that was headed in the direction of Long Island.  I didn't want the traffic to make me late for the appointment so, once I got home, I showered quickly, took the donation out of my wallet and counted it to make sure; then I shoved it into my pocket.  In my haste, I'd left my wallet on my dresser.  

I hadn't intended to leave my credit cards or ATM card home, and I'm NOT afraid of being robbed.  (Oh, just for the record, my ATM card CAN be used without the PIN:  it can be used as a debit card at any retail location (but I'd be protected by FDIC, if it were robbed)).  Believe me, I wasn't aware that I had lost the $20 until I got there (I still don't know what happened to it)!  It's a long fuc*ing ride, and my opinion is that most retailers would have let the $20 slip.  Or at least they should if they want to keep a customer coming back.  I'm not saying anything should be given away for free, but being reasonable is key to doing business, especially when dealing with customers who have a very high degree of elasticity (read as:  lots of options and competing providers).  

I don't think I'm a slacker; I never try to haggle (other than that one time) and I usually even give a nice tip on my second visit.  Anyway, I think I learned my lesson:  Not only am I more careful than I used to be, but I have also sworn never to see a provider who is that far away, ever again.  I now stay strictly within the New York City limits (the five boroughs).

That is why you have to count those bills at least 3 times and put them in the envelope. Got to be careful at work with pants pocket busting out, lol.

Being from new york has nothing to do with this.

First it is your fault that you scheduled an appointment with a provider who lives so far away.  Second, it is entirely your fault that you miscounted the donation.  I'm not sure why you say it was only your fault to a degree.  It was entirely your fault.  If the donation is $300, then the provider should be expected to be compensated $300.  Not $290, not $280, but $300.  I can see if you were a regular client of her, but obviously you weren't.

And when you say "most retailers would let the $20 slip", tell me one retailer that would go for this?

No arguments here..It is your life and your business. Whatever makes you feel safe, that is what you should do.  If a guy is not willing to go through your screening process, then he is not worth seeing anyway.  Good luck to you.

Frankly from your post and the attitude that it displays I have great sympathy for your clients.

Since when is it a client responsibility to remember your birthdays?  In most businesses the vendor remembers the client's birthday not the other way around.

Is it mandatory that the guy appear in public with you?  Maybe he should take you on a date to the restaurant where his wife works.

Perhaps you should get a few more towels if you are always running out.

And I don't know about anybody else but my phone number is blocked all the time unless I remember to put a *82 in front of it.  And I can't recall the last time a provider called me using an unblocked number unless it was the number in her advertisement.


When the original date is scheduled incall or outcall should be specified and if a hotel room is needed who is paying for it.  I have heard of 1 or 2 guys who have rented hotel rooms and then been stood up by providers.  I guess no shows happen on both sides.

Actually after having made this post I read the thread on the Los Angeles Discussion Board where you identify yourself as Heather. For those of you that are interested please read the thread on the LA discussion Board entitled "Special Rates for LA" by HeatherBarronxxx. Additional information can be gathered by doing a search on her name.  Her previous posts will speak for themselves.  Heather I honestly hope you will find the help that you need.


-- Modified on 1/2/2004 1:31:48 AM

-- Modified on 1/2/2004 1:35:43 AM

-- Modified on 1/2/2004 1:44:40 AM

Not all days are bliss. And there is a fair amount of stress in this business. If I've had a bad week, I'm just going to express myself in an orgasmic fury of thoughts. Then, I regroup and move on.

You fellows express your feelings every day of the week.  Why can't women?  Or is there a double standard?

Oh I get it...I'm supposed to sit here in a cotton print dress with a painted smile, lick a lollypop and act pretty and never once express my feelings.

So what you really want in a "relationship" with your provider is a woman who is going to keep her thoughts to herself? Well, that isn't real person. A real person has thoughts, feelings, good days and bad days.

I have no issue with some guy dumping on a board. That's what the boards are for, expression.

And I don't think one single phrase of Happy Birthday is asking too much. Clients birthdays are not posted on their Tshirts and some clients make it clear they don't want us asking personal questions so we don't invade. Our birthdays are posted right on our websites. It's just a nice gesture, to remember, ya know. It's not required or anything. A simple email or a mention of  Happy Birthday would have done just fine.

Disclaimer: Dumping is aimed at the problem cases. It does not reflect the wonderful men that treat us with kindness. None of them remember birthdays either but oh well, so be life.
I know, I sound like a ball and chain.

Picture this. Your "out of town client" is a well planned setup. Let's say there are drugs stashed in the room, something you are completely oblivious to. You assume he's a nice professional family man when basically again, this is a setup all designed to get you on something...

So, you start to have fun. The doors burst open and BAMB! Off you go to jail for drug possession.

Heather's rule for providers: never walk into a setting you can't control. Vegas and LA are different animals. But LA, outcall is bad news unless you know the person well.

So, you are safe since the hotel is registered in his name. You're also in jail for dope you never knew was there and again, it could all be a setup. Guys, same deal. If you don't know the girl and she doesn't have reviews and she's a dope user and it's at her place, you are in the same position. IN PRISON.

Guys, see no unreviewed providers. Ladies, if they won't allow screening or a reference, pass.

HB

So I am persona non -grata with you if I am takin' a toke?

Or are you talking about other more horsey of meth-y things?

Are heroin trffickers really ordering up extra room service?

I offer incall, as well as outcall, and I see only a few men a week by choice.  I prefer and encourage longer engagements (I have never even offered one-hour sessions).

Perhaps it just wouldn't be profitable for you to offer incall, because of the added expense of an apartment to work in.  I receive guests at my home.  Partly because I am low-volume, I have never attracted the attention of or had trouble with my neighbors.  

I do love spoiling my visitors.  I get to create the atmosphere and treat them to the best of everything I can offer (I do wish I had a giant roman tub, though--ahhh, someday).  I feel safer on my own ground than I do walking onto that of someone I don't know.  Still, visiting someone I do not yet know at their place is thrilling.  That's why I do both.  

-- Modified on 1/2/2004 9:47:03 PM

I guess I really don't see it as a fantasy, at least not all the time. I get a lot of guys who come to me to dump out their feelings, problems, issues etc. and I try to use the real stuff in my life that I have learned to help them. I really don't mind the dumping session. When both people dump, there is nothing left do do but...

THE EAST COAST/WEST COAST DIFFERENTIAL

NY
How was you day Mary?
Sucked.
Yours Harry?
Sucked.
Hey, you ready to... now?

LA
How was your week?
Great.
Yours?
Super.
Whatever your name is...let's...

-- Modified on 1/2/2004 11:33:44 PM

Cool beans. Good night Nicole.  I'm signing off to go snoooze. You are very beautiful and very smart.

HB