even if your friend is involved? It is up to her to tell your friend, not you. And what if you are mistaken? It seems to me your friend will never find out that you hold the information unless you open your mouth. Be happy that they have found happiness with each other
My dear friend is seeing this lady from eharmony.com. He's all crazy about her.
He showed me the picture and I recognized her as a provider who I used 3 years ago. He told me that she was a teacher in NC before and that's where I met her.
So now, should I tell him? I recall this lady was a fun person before, I had very pleasant experience with her. I would really wish her good luck for the new life if my best friend is not involved. If he found out the truth that I hold this information, I will lose this friend forever.
What should I do?
Definitely, tell him. She may have some issues which may affect their relationship. Plus, he maybe looking for a good wholesome lady. IF in fact he is a true friend to you. You shouldn't let him get involved with someone who may use him.
Just reverse the situation .. you meet someone on Eharmony or socially and your future blushing bride is best friends forever with someone u reviewed on TER.
Would you want her to tell the girl that you are not a wholesome person but instead someone who has to pay to play?
Unless the lady in question is known drug addict, thief or works for Goldman Sach, you keep your mouth ZIPPED!
Lina
PS Ever heard that whores make best wifes?
As usual, you nailed it, dddbabe.
Discretion is a two-way street.
It is part of the implied contract between the provider and hobbyist. She keeps his secrets, and he keeps hers. There is no time limit on this.
That is the operative principle here.
The contract cannot ethically be broken except in such cases where it has already been broken by the other party (i.e. through physical abuse, threats of blackmail, etc.) In this case, breaking the contract serves a greater good in protecting others from predation by a person to whom the contract is meaningless anyway.
Looking at other responses in this thread, I DO understand the other concerns. But I respectfully disagree with them.
The other concerns are basically that a provider is a skilled illusionist at providing an appearance of being in love; and thus could misuse her skills in order to trap a man into a very non-reciprocal relationship.
There are three reasons why this is not an issue.
1. Providers are not super-human with the power of the Shadow to "cloud men's minds." Their power of illusion is utterly impotent outside of a very narrow context.
Providers simply do not have mystical magical powers to manipulate men any greater than any other woman would have. As I have said before -- "Who's afraid of the big bad provider?"
2. Deceptive capacities are not unique to providers.
Many women (and men!) with various occupations are skilled at deception.
Politicians, used car saleswomen, marketing experts and others are ALL skilled at deception.
3. The fact that a person has a *capacity* to misuse his/her skills does not mean that s/he has the INTENT to misuse them. You have no evidence that the former provider has malicious intent. So the benefit of the doubt should be given.
4. Just as people pay to see a magician, they pay to see a provider. In both cases, it is understood there will be an element of illusion. The "deception" in these cases is being bought; and in no way indicates that either the magician or provider is inclined to deceive people for free.
Great post I couldn't agree more.
And because I have been an escort, I'm likely to use any man I may have in my future?
Given your presumptions regarding the women in this industry, I strongly recommend you reconsider your involvement in this hobby. It obviously offends your morals at some level and it may be you who is left with issues.
You are correct of course. Here's a different point of view FWIW. An escort sells illusion as much as sex, so she will look for the positive where others see negative and will whisper sweet nothings in a guys ear, in spite of his bush full of ear hair. Now here's where it gets tricky at least for me. Since she essentially lies for a living, how do I know that she's now truthful with me? I think that's more difficult to deal with than knowing she's out fucking & sucking for a living. So she quits the profession and takes the straight & narrow. I'm still outgunned in the sneaky department and I can't believe that would work out well.
Just my 2 centavos. And the alias is so I don't offend all the ladies that want me to run away with them.
... but men are pretty much always outgunned in the "sneaky" department by women, civilian or pro. We've spent our entire lives navigating other women... it makes us experts.
Do you always get tangled up in your friends life? You must like drama and gossip both kills normalcy and makes life miserable.
Some think the whole world is inhabited with bad people and shouldn't trust anyone and others think world is inhabited with good people and there are bad people amongst them and deal with it. It is your choice.
I despise, I am better than everyone else attitudes in men, women and children!
All I said is that I would have a tough time trusting a person who lied for a living. That means I would stay away from lawyers and salesman too.
In the question at hand, I think the OP should keep his mouth shut.
And you may as well add everyone in the service industry that you wouldn't date either. Do you really think when wait staff bid you a "have a nice day" they actually mean it especially if someone under tipped them? Nah they don't, they have to say that. They would rather say something like, "trip on your ass you fucking tightwad and don't show your ugly mug back in here so I have to lie to your face and smile when I'd rather fart in your general direction" (having a little light hearted fun on a Friday afternoon).
So you see everyone lies a little in their daily life...some more than others. I admit I do at times lie a little(in this world)...it's part of the job but in my real life with people I am personally involved in on an emotional level be it friends or lovers, I am guilty of being a tad too honest sometimes and not applying the sensitive filter AKA the little white lie.
Guilty last night of the very thing...told a girlfriend of mine who asked me if I liked her current hairstyle or the one before...told the truth and pissed her off, but at least she got the truth.
My friends no better than to ask me the question..."Do these jeans make me look fat"? if they want the truth they ask me...if not they ask someone else.
Now if a client asks me is he a good lover I am going to lie and say yes darling you are (if he's not that is). Telling him no you're not and I disliked the whole scenario is ego shattering and he can get that elsewhere. For $300 he is going to hear what makes him feel good as my pleasure does not count and if he thinks he did well than let him. If he wants total honesty, ask his wife.
Some may see this as deceiving a guy but in reality this is a fantasy/illusion thing we are selling...it's not real life.
what makes you think you're entitled to specially good treatment?
don't have to say anything...Speaking for myself...I Only say what I mean...and I do mean what I say...I won't and I don't Fake it...it does afterall...takes two to Tango...there is No reason for me to lie to any of the gentlemen I have seen...Why...and besides..that would mean I would have to remember what I lied about...and I don't have that good of a memory...and besides...What is Wrong with seeing the Positive in Everything and Everyone...I think it's a Great way to Live...I personally would rather be Happy and Enjoying Life...rather than Negative and having a miserable Life...so my question to You is...how is being Positive rather than negative in life Not being truthful???
Agree with Miss Lyon, and I can understand her hostility towards that idiotic comment.
No issues here. Maybe it is a guilty conscience ?
I was stating the fact that. Women who throw shadows and master smoke and mirrors. May have a hard time distinguishing real from fake. They may find it hard to love a "real" man. Plus, be in a "real" relationship. I have heard many stories sweetie. Many aim for poor "beautiful" men. Since they are mostly around well to do "not so attractive" men.
Our dates with clients are just as real as a civvie date, just with a pretty enveloped gift at the end !
You are all "real" men, we just met under different circumstances...
This is not fair to say to all providers. I have normal "real relationships" with men that are "beautiful" and "not so attractive." You can't generalize saying that WE PROVIDERS LIVE A FAKE LIFE. We lives normal lives with jobs just as anyone else does, our job is just not fully accepted by society. I suggest you re-evaluate your relationship with women before talking US down.
Mind your own fucking business on this one.
Or...
If you are COMPLELLED to intervene...
Consider suggesting to your friend that he do a background check on ANYONE he meets on line.
Then, STFU.
Peace & Love To ALL 
LE you know women in the industry are in it
to get a little ahead of themselves . You know
fix the credit maybe they have kids . She may have reached her goal. She is educated and speaking of which I think its poor taste to even put her occupation on here.
The truth here is that YOU are NOT WHOLESOME.
And why hide under an alias? You men ask US
for discretion yet you never practice what you
preach.
Based on your descriptions you should get a serious case of amnesia about her. Especially if she is now retired.
even if your friend is involved? It is up to her to tell your friend, not you. And what if you are mistaken? It seems to me your friend will never find out that you hold the information unless you open your mouth. Be happy that they have found happiness with each other
Let nature take its course with the prospective happy couple. I don't see any way your friend would find out about your liaison with the lady unless you tell him. Like as not she may not even remember you and if she does and says anything to you, simply thank her for the experience 'back in the day' and tell her the issue is closed.
A gentleman would never tell.
Just my opinion worth exactly .02
MVR
her ability to be in a meaningful relationship with a man you can respect. You might want to contemplate that. As far as your friend and her, what's important is the interpersonal and intra-personal dynamics, and if those dynamics can maintain a relationship between them. That will become evident to each of them as they, one step after another, move towards ever deeper levels of intimacy, and commitment. Her past profession may or may not create obstacles to this process, but probably no more so than mere personality issues, or issues involving differences in getting personal needs met. Short version. Stay out of it, and let them work it out between themselves. If your friend finds out that she was a provider, just say you weren't totally certain, so decided to keep your mouth shut.
Take this secret to your grave. Also, if she recognizes you as a former client, which is likely, and ever mentions this to you, tell her that her secret is safe, and keep your word. Who knows, their kids may one day be playing with yours. Just make sure she keeps your secrets safe as well.
The only circumstance where you should say something is if she still active as a provider, and withholding this info from him. Even then, I would let her know in advance that what she is doing isn't cool with you before saying anything.
If she ever recognizes you as a previous client, deny it. Adamantly. If the day ever comes that she decides to disclose her past to your friend, she needs to believe that you weren't a client. And, if not, your denial will comfort her into believing that she is either mistaken or you don't recognize her.
Think about why you want to tell him. Is it really for him? Or for you?
If you say something you lose. Even though you may feel noble, your friend will be disappointed and embarrassed... you will be the cause and it will affect the friendship.
If he likes her you should not tell him...it doesn't matter what she does/did for a living
For all you know, he may have met her through the hobby. But there is an issue here.
Having helped a provider friend retire from the biz, I can tell you it is almost impossible to have every picture removed from every site everwhere. There is also the issue of someone who has seen her recognizing her in the future.
Does your friend have political aspirations? Is he super religious? Would this destroy him?
I am by no means casting stones here. I have had a LTR with a provider, so I see nothing wrong with it. But pictures and hobbyists who can recognize her will always be out there.
Perhaps if things get serious and he introduces you, you can pull her aside and let her know that you know and that maybe full disclosure is in order.
Like someone said, you may remember her from 3 years ago and probability she remembering you after three years is less than 1%.
I would talk to her first and let her know I do recognize her. I will let her know that he is my friend and that his happiness and friendship is important to me. I will tell her that he thinks the world of her and I want to believe she would be good for him. I would ask her to keep our encounter from him and that if she decides to tell him about her past, she should be gentle.
I see nothing wrong with this relationship she's as good as any woman. I know some of us tend to judge providers on moral issues and forget the moral delema of us as hobbyist. We see providers as good lairs and maybe up to a degree they are, and some of us forget how good of lairs we are. Just because she is or was a provider does not change the fact that she is a woman capable of feelings and wanting a meaningful relationship, which to all humans is a beautiful thing.
Just my opinion.
Unless you want to loose a friend, make two peoples life miserable by breaking them up or by instilling guilt and suspicion in their potentially happy life my suggestion is to keep the "trap door" shut.
There is now rule, custom or law that states one is responsible for one's friends actions or in their life or you need to be saviour or be the moral police in your friends life.
This is classic case where you use the wise saying "hear nothing, see nothing and say nothing", or you can do all three and make your life miserable.
When you think about this way, it is not a dilemma, is it? and you do know what to do! Just Amazing.
If she's retired - STFU & MYOB
If not, and she lying, that's a different story
If you are really close friends and you know you would lose your friendship over this then you need to tell him. I'm sorry for her if it "outs" her and makes their relationship difficult, that is truly unfortunate. You should not lie to him, especially if you know it will cause problems in your relationship. You have to place relative value on these relationships and in this case you need to consider yourself.
I don't know why folks think her well being in the relationship is any more important than yours is. This is your business.
We all make choices in life and some of them come with consequences, even if they are not "wrong".
even if he didn't ask; I am seeing this girl, I like her very much and do you think she is provider?
Your suggestion is stupid. You must like creating misery in others life.
You said; "If he found out the truth that I hold this information, I will lose this friend forever."
Only you know how strong a bond your friendship with him is and how this might affect him. None of us have a handle on that.
It would be interesting to know if your friend knows you are a hobbyist? Is he or has he been a hobbyist? None of my close friends know I hobby. They would not approve of it if they did. Screw them, this is about you and your friend, but it does apply different understandings to your story if he was/is and he knows you are a hobbyist.
How long has this relationship been blossoming? It's another missing part. Has he actually introduced you to the lady in question yet? Or was it just the photo?
Hey, you don't know but maybe she IS now a teacher in NC as he reports. Would that be so strange? Some gals do this business for only a very short period of their life and often it is a means to an end or a career.
I don't think you should meddle right this moment. Wait and see if the relationship becomes strong and is heading towards marriage. Let him report how things are going. No sense in bursting his bubble and perhaps hers as well.
Let's face it, if they met on eHarmony, she is probably looking for a new life and perhaps this is it. As someone already said she likely as not will not even remember you. If she does leave it to her to break the silence and ask you to stay quiet, which she likely would do. Then stay quiet and keep your word.
Back to him being a hobbyist or not.. if this gets really serious you probably should tell him and he would confide in you differently. He likely will not even let that phase him if he is in love.
If he is not a hobbyist, it is better to just stay out of it. Move onto your next date with a provider.
Do NOT Say anything to anybody!
It's not your business!
She was a provider. Most likely she has retired and is moving on to a new life.
If she is still working, it's still none of your business!
you are thinking to much about his finding out. do you have any reason to think it would be in her interest to tell him?
only if there are third parties who know that you've seen would i worry..... otherwise wish them well and keep quiet.
Tell your friend you want to go out for dinner or drinks with her. When he goes to the bathroom, or to get drinks, tell her you want your friend to know the whole truth, so if she won't tell him, you will. Maybe they have discussed it already, and he is cool with it. You never know, but put the pressure on her
There's not a person in the world who doesn't have something in their past. This includes you and me.
It's not YOUR job to be the referee or moral compass of ANYONE other than yourself.
You know nothing...you don't know her...never met her...know nothing about any "hobby"......
Just keep repeating that.
Let them be happy...and try it yourself. Let it go.
of STFU. he will never separate the message from the messenger. it could be her twin sister, or a look alike. it could be a former provider. so what, are providers not people too? STFU. sail.
I am sorry that I did not lay out all the facts in the story.
1.The first thing I did.
I went online and searched her information(every possible alias) and I found nothing. It seems that she quited this business for a while and it was a short part time thing. I remembered that I knew her through a low volume provider in NC before, so she might be a LV too. God I hope so, if I find out she's still doing it, I will rat her out in no time.
2.Is my friend a hobbyist? Does he know my secret life?
He's not. His family is very conservative, I would be very surprised if he is. I am 99% sure about that. He doesn't know I am a hobbyist, but he knows my personal life is always kind of messy. Back in our college time, I told him all about strippers or hookers.
3.How deeply is he involved in this relationship?
He sounds really excited and could not keep his mouth shut. He thinks that she is awesome. Why not? Good face,good body, well educated, good people skills. They've been seeing each other for a while now.
4.How close is this friend to me?
He is like my blood related little brother. We grew up together. His mother adores me and still calls me her "sunshine". His family loves us very much and I would do whatever I could to please them. That's why I am stuck here.
5. Does she remember me?
I don't know, I would agree with others that chances are pretty low.
We has "met" yet. If she remembers me ,then I hope she will put a knife on my penis and said: don't you dare to say a fucking thing. In that case, I would know how much she loves him.
Other providers, say something, let me know how you would handle the situation?
Butt out anyway, and STFU! He's all grown up and can think for himself, (unless you are the caretaker of your own version of the "rainman")
Of course on the other hand, he is your best friend in the world. What could be more satisfying than telling him that she's not a person, but a "whore", and that you have "used her" in the past! Could it get any better than dashing all of his hopes and plans for a lady that he has fallen for,and she seems to feel the same.
You sound more jealous than helpful. Maybe the best thing for your friendship is to end your friendship since you seem so hellbent on screwing this up for him. Let him find out on his own if this "can't" work!!!!!
Maybe write Dear Abby...you are not getting the answers you like here, and she is a master at bad advice! Let It Be!!!
Let me put it this way. Imagine it is your younger brother. Would you be jealous? would you feel that you should not even think about telling?
The more it looks like you are hoping to find people to say you should tell him. It feels as if you WANT to tell him but can't convince yourself you should.
Well, you shouldn't. Not based upon what you've said.
ever talk like this...but YOU..really are a Jerk...You are Jeolous of what Your friend has...You are a Hypocrite...You are an Ass...just because Your Life is "Messed" up....doesn't mean hers is..We All have are reasons for doing what We do...and people like YOU...I have No Respect for...and besides...how do You know she has Not told him...so my Hope is..that she has...and You do tell him...that then gives both of them the right...to tell Everyone You know...what YOU do...and BTW...don't be Sorry for laying out All the Facts...it just showed and proved You really are an Ass and Fucked Up!!!!!!!!!
He is a lonely soul. If his best friend hooks up to
fall in love and runs off into the sunset he wont
be single anymore and boo hoo his ASS friend will
go insane . Guys like him break relationships up.
Should I tell him. Should we tell your wife?
If you do this karma will bite YOU so hard you will
regret it and wind up alone and more miserable even more. And who do YOU think you are posting her
occupation ? How about if someone did that to you ?
GROW UP you are too stupid to be in this industry.
You said she appears retired. Them let that persona stay dead. You'd be amazed how many young school teachers escort on the side because of starting salaries a lot of places.
What you still have not said is why you believe you should have any right to ruin a relationship like this. Your first description of her was positive. Your description of him is positive. Unless you had a reason to think she was going to act poorly towards him why do you even consider telling him anything? I don't understand.
someone recognized You and said something to Your wife...this is a secret life for most of us...and besides...What is Wrong with being a Provider...We are people too...I personally don't see the difference between going out to a bar and picking up on someone and doing it for free or doing this...I just get a little bonus package...if You are going to out her...then You are a hypocrite...or You should out yourself to everyone first...then her...I would like to know what is wrong with us ladies that You would consider doing this...You are the kind of Man I Would Not want to see...because You think something is wrong with us...and that makes me mad!!...and You can Not say different...otherwise You Would Not consider telling Your friend...so in other words...I believe You look down on Us..You have No respect for Us...ugh...I Would Never want to meet someone like You 
what you are talking about Ailey? We already met! In Milwaukee, I am Allen. Remember?
I SAID F'IN TELL ME!!!!!!
were a jerk...How Could You even think of doing something like this?????????????? What Are You thinking....This Thread Really Has Upset me...and to Think I thought You were a Really Nice Guy
You just shot my "providers lie to be nice to a guy" premise.
Now I want to marry 5 different providers. Think that they'd all go for it? We'll have to live in Utah, if that's not a problem.
making me smile and laugh again...I don't like to ever get like this...however after reading this thread...it made me realize and think...when I retire...am I going to have to be in Fear of someone like Allen...I am single...what if I were to meet a Great Guy...and I fucked his best friend...I honestly Never thought I would Ever have to worry about a client outting me...I guess I am just Nieve 
Your friend may already know, May not appreciate your forthcoming, He may be very much in LOVE that won't just go away overnight, even if he did walk away could end up also resenting you, and if he doesn't he may end your friendship for the fact he wants you no where near her, because you were intimate!
Do you have a SO, Would you appreciate if she shared your experience with them?
To many what IF'S...
You had a Shared Moment Once Upon A Time Ago, you mentioned it was pleasant, Leave It As That, An Experience!
that an intimate experience with you WOULDN'T go away over-night. It could into an over-night. lol
Not that my wife was a provider. Don't mean to give the wrong impression. It is up to her to say anything. Look at it this way...none of us were virgins. The past is the past.
I didn't tell my now wife about my hobbying days.
And there you have it...your last sentence says it all. And why should you...she wasn't part of your life then. And how bad would you feel if a friend of yours found out about your hobbying and wanted to tell your now wife? People should mind their own damn business and stay out of other people's lives.
I don't think anyone is talking about "outing" in a greater sense. It's not going to be advertised on billboards or that he would even necessarily be trying to ruin their relationship.
If you were close friends with someone for 20 years and discovered that a secret you had could tear your friendship apart would you really want to take that chance? What if he already knows her past and she remembers his friend? Then he could be the one being "outed".
He's the only one who knows if it will truly tear his friendship apart, but if it will then he has to seriously consider if that secret is worth keeping to him. Again, we're not talking about him deliberately trying to ruin anything for a former provider, we're talking about trying to keep a close and important relationship.
Greater sense..because this could be the One....and he is talking about ruining there relationship...the only way I would tell a secret to a friend of mine is if I knew it would cause them harm or destroy there life in some way...for example...did You know he was in prison for murder...it would have to be something to that nature...extreme...it's hard to find that one Great guy/woman that is Perfect for You...and what I can Not understand is Why bring up the Past...it's the Present and Future that are the Most important...is she going to cause him harm....is she going to destroy him...I'm thinking No...I'm thinking she is going to Build him Up...bring Happiness to his Life...he is Crazy about her....so why take that away from him....and the other thing is...what really is the difference between a civie going out every night and picking up on a stranger and having a one night stand...or being a low volume provider....right now there is nothing wrong with Allen's and his friends friendship...how Will he ever know...it was three years ago when he saw her...maybe she recognizes him and maybe Not...relationships are already hard between couples...then to add a third party...ugh...let the two of them develop and grow and let them see where it leads....if he is really a friend...he would be Happy for his friend and leave it at that...because the only thing I see coming from this if he says something...is DRAMA...and the OP said his life is messy...maybe it's because he lives in a lot of Drama...who needs that...Live Life...Love Life...and let All that is Good come Your way
I hasn't said anything yet! If you want to nail me on the cross just because I have a hard time to make up my mind. I have to say, honey, I am not the nice guy you thought I was.
Just throwing a bunch of "What If's" to consider,
People will do as they please in the end!
to the cross...however I just really have a hard time understanding...how You can Enjoy the Hobby and then Out an Ex-Provider....would it had been better if she just Fucked everyone for free...is she Not entitled to Happiness...again...why is it ok for You to see many Providers and Not say anything to Your SO....it's like You are saying You are better than me...because You pay for it...rather than get paid...We are All the same here...we All do what we do for our own reasons...and when I decide I am ready to retire...I Will...and I would hope...this would be an enjoyable memory...rather than some gentleman from my past...come and twist it and use it against me...it's just wrong...how will this harm your friend...and how would your friend ever find out...unless You say something...I usually remember a face and forget names...after three years would I remember You...maybe...but I don't know if I would remember how I knew You...and I do want to apolize for getting soooo angery with You...I am Not usually like that and I don't like hurting peoples feelings...but I just really believe what You are thinking about doing is wrong....let us know what You decide to do and please include why You came to that conclusion...
You still don't get it. It's not about that former provider and me anymore. Personally, I wish her all the luck and thank her for all the pleasure that we shared indeed. Am I look down on you and the others ? I am look upon you gals. A client is far more worse person than a provider generally. We so called gentlemen, but we have no way to justify what we did in front of our family. Pro is a job, having sexual encounter with a provider is not a job.
There is a world outside of our circle. There is people that we care dearly. Did I tell my SO all the erotic experience I had? No, but if she finds out, I would get burned in hell, and I deserve it, I am fully aware of it. But she's doesn't, and he doesn't know what he is getting.
I am pretty sure he doesn't know her history, I know him well enough to tell.
If they get any more serious later, I will confront with this lady privately. How is this be done? I don't know, but I will handle it in a gentle manner.
Ailey, I am a jerk. You are right about that. I lied about meeting you in the past. I was trying to make my point in a disgraceful way. If yourself could not be sure who you have seen, you are under risks unless you be honest to your future partner. I am sorry for I did, and I hope you have a good luck for your future plans. There are good men, you may haven't seen a single one all through your career, but keep looking, he will appear.
Years ago I had several best friends. We grew up together, started dating and eventually one by one started getting married.
Girls in Russia marry very young and usually start families very young as well.
When my one of my best friends got married, her husband pretty much told me that he does not want me around her due to my behaviour.
Stories that I could tell him about his "virgin" wife would probably qualify for 10 in performance review here on TER.
I just kept my mouth shut and made sure her marriage does not suffer.
They are still together , have 2 gorgeous kids and he is still genuinly convinced that he got "wholesome girl". Does her past make her bad person and bad wife?
Not in the least. But if he found out .. they would never have the life together.
Irony of story is that between her and me I was the less experienced one 
Lina
would it be different if "he" is your best friend?
Which is
1) Past does not define future
2) Loose toungues don't ony sink ships .. sometimes they kill what can be wonderful lifes.
3) This is not about you, this is about your friend.
Finally something else to consider
What if she did tell him everything? And that he is OK with it? In that case you are letting him know that THEIR secret is no longer a secret.
I am sorry but it seems that you are not asking for advise but rather confirmation of your decision
Lina
How do you people so certain I intentionally try to ruin a relationship? Don't you have a best friend, ever? Don't you know that you should do whatever could possible good for your best friend? Can I just consider it as a possible action need to be done?
Follow some of logic to be held against my thoughts here, I am taking the risk to rat myself out and put me in a difficult situation too. But I would scarify it if this needs to be done.
Past doesn't matter, did I said it matters? Should I be the one to make the judgment call?
your post actually helped me make my decision.
Before he puts a ring on her finger, I will go
talk with her and let her know I am ready to burn in hell with her if she plays him. In the mean time, I am not going to say anything and I will keep distance although it is hardly impossible.
if I were Your Best friend...and You came to me and said this....I would be angery with You...and then go tell Your Wife...You are the one who does Not get it...You just said..."Past doesn't matter, did I say it matters?" Well then...why are You bringing up the Past...she is retired...she is Not a Provider any more...You are just creating Drama in Your Life and theirs...Everyone has a Past...why don't You go talk to Your own parents...and I bet You would find out they too have a past....to me...it's almost as though You do Not like seeing Your Best friend Happy...are You wishing You had what he has...and once again...my question to You...Why is it soooo important that he knows this...what is the difference between civie one night stands and this???
I am glad that my best friends are not this way. Can you really sit there and say you would rat out your best friend for trying to help you? What kind of person would that make you? Words like spiteful, vengeful and loathsome come to mind, but those are just off the top of my head.
Once again I submit that she may destroy their friendship just as easily as he can destroy their relationship. If it is as he says, that this will ruin his relationship with his best friend, then he must consider every option.
Is it going to be the right thing to do? I don't know, I'm not there. I can tell you this, I will not willingly and knowingly lose any of my close friends over a budding and uncertain relationship. If you were willing to sacrifice your close relationships at any possibility of romance then you'd have no one close to you.
You wish her nothing but the worst. You don't know that she is a provider and are prepared to break
up something if YOU see them getting close.
You know what I thing? I think you are an evil lonely bastard ! History is the past .We live for
TODAY. Get over yourself . You are such a little bitch .
HOW DARE YOU! i
??????????????????????????????????????????
f they get any more serious later, I will confront with this lady privately. How is this be done? I don't know, but I will handle it in a gentle manner.
?????????????????????????????????????????
What the fuck did you come here asking what you should do for if you already have your revengeful mind made up?
Boy I hope I never meet you . You are a time bomb.
Terror. Evil selfish creep . Find a friend because
obviously you cant stand seeing him happy and if you open your mouth I hope he pulls a Mike Tyspn
on you and walks away haha!
-- Modified on 5/23/2010 11:45:53 PM
the way I would handle that is approach the lady.
Tell her to come clean with your friend so she can explain it in a favorable fashion.
He gets the info and makes an intelligent choice from there.
Why? Should any man confess to the woman he finally finds and falls in love with, that he has seen hookers? Those things are best left buried deep. There is something to be said for sparing some information from one's past.
Oh and while your on the confession bandwagon, why not everybody on here tell everyone about this little corner of their world and stop lying to their loved ones so they can make an intelligent choice as to whether they want to remain married/in a relationship or divorce/end it.
If she is no longer an active escort what the hell does it matter what she did in the past...before she even knew he existed.
And I think the so called friend is crying sour grapes because he had to pay for what his friend is getting for free and wants to really only hurt her.
The OP should be damn careful that he doesn't piss off any more women he has seen (and stupidly owned up to) as he might be outed for being an ass.
that you may be wrong, and it's not her at all. This is a very real possibility. What then???
You are assuming you can predict others behavior. What if she has already told him? If she does and they talk it out you are still the bad guy. If they stay together she will be no fan of yours. Don't think you cant loose your friend over something like this because you can. It is not your business and you should KEEP OUT. I told my best friend of 25 years that he needed to get back to the states rather than re-enlisting for another term because his wife was getting friendly with a surgeon were she worked. He came back to the state to save his marriage and was able to put a stop to the affair. They are both very happy now. He is not allowed to see me anymore, wife's orders. Do not under estimate a woman that you are backing into a corner or your friends ability to understand past indiscretions. You could very well end up scratching your head saying WTF without a friend.
Doc
You said you visited her a few years ago, but then basically condemn her as an unfit person .."I would really wish her good luck for the new life if my best friend is not involved."..because of what she was doing for income a few years ago?
You need to look in a mirror and tell yourself you are as worthless as you think she is. You say you would lose your friend if he ever found out she was/is a provider and that you knew? How do you know that he doesn't already know that information?
People like you make me feel ill, you see providers and enjoy your time with them, but then turn around and make them a "non-person" and degrade them.
Please just leave.
b-
One reason I wont and many other ladies WILL NOT
show face on net. This post would really tick
me off just knowing that you're thinking about it.
NO YOU SHOULD NOT TELL HIM YOU SHOULD MYOB.
It isn't any different than if you met her
and slept with . Please stay out of it.
Its is an ADULT world walk away and never
show a lack of discretion. And FYI its a
X providers are better lovers.
Angela