Ok I know some of you may think I'm crazy for asking this question, or even thinking about this stuff, but I'm a curious person by nature....

also I wonder about this, because before an encounter, I think about how I might want to interact with the girl, and how to have fun and make things exciting..

sometimes I like to talk really dirty and "treat her like a slut" (of course, I almost always establish the communication, respect and understanding line first - usually on the phone or when we first meet), and then other times it's more of a dirty playful thing, pretty much a GFE kinda thing..


Well some of these girls providing, especially some of the younger ones, are so damned beautiful and cute looking, that I get confused as to why they are doing this.

I wonder about this with every woman, but even more when it's the cute younger ones, that maybe have college plans or whatnot....    I've been with several, who were about to start college, or return for the next semester.

I wonder will they move on in life, and pretend they never did this, and make it into a skeleton in the closet, OR if maybe these days, things have gotten so open, to where it's not that big a deal?


Personally, I have a lot more respect for these women, then most, because one thing I've found about these women, is that they can't be gold diggers, cause they can't stand to be phony and play guys, in order to get a free ride, and that is what SO MANY other women do, many of which even do so even in marriage (they marry a guy for material reasons).


I'd like to get y'alls thoughts and feedback on this -  guys AND gals.

thanks

No reason to suffer from paralysis by analysis, the answer is simple... why does anyone start providing...money. The stories of what lead them there may take various paths but the common demoniator will be $$$$.

Now perhaps a better question would be why do those who keep providing stay in the game. There I would imagine you would get a variety of answers from the reliable $$$ to any number of personal reasons.

Of course I'm not a provider just a monger so WTF do I know? Frankly I don't care why, just how they do it.

Mostly it is for money, and financial freedom. The women can be their own boss, they can pay for school and support kids.

Yes, a lot of girls work because they are dependent on some addictive habit, but many of us are also savvy business women just pushing forward and we love our job.

When asked in the future about what I used to do, I would not be ashamed to say I worked as a provider.

I did it for the money. It was good and was able to invest it.. and moved out of the lifestyle. But, came away with a different perspective both good and bad. Now.. I have issues in trusting those to date lol Yup.. time for me head over to the Erotic Highway and ask LG some questions regarding on how to date and trust and again lol

And their favorite color is green.  LOL

I am a mature provider but I would like to say I like this work because I am very sexual and I'm single so when I see a gentlemen I usaully am very needy myself. Boyfriends and husbunds can not fullfill the desires I yearn for and the money? Well it a perk I hope this maks sense.

Your tone and attitude in asking this question seems to be that you think providing is "bad" or "negative" in some way.

You wrote:
"I wonder will they move on in life, and pretend they never did this, and make it into a skeleton in the closet, OR if maybe these days, things have gotten so open, to where it's not that big a deal?"

Something is considered a "skeleton in the closet" only if other people think it's bad or wrong. Frankly, I see absolutely nothing wrong with what I do. I feel no guilt. I make my own choices. I see who I like and don't see anyone I don't. The only reason I keep it private is because it's not accepted by society (and the law), but it is accepted my ME.

I have a (vanilla) full-time career that I absolutely love and can't imagine doing anything else right now. However, in our culture, the more you care and want to contribute to society, the less you get paid for your work. To me, I'd be "selling out" if I went to work for a corporation in order to make more money.

By keeping my massage business on the side, I can keep the job I love, supplement my paltry salary, and buy the things I need, pay for graduate school, etc...If I quit my career, I could make more in day giving massages than I do in a week! But that's not my goal.

Bottom line: Why do I do this? For the money and because I can. I don't see it as something seedy or negative. Rebellious, perhaps, but that's about the worst of it.

One more thing to keep in mind: More and more people these days are growing up in non-religious households and do not have the guilt that older generations have about sex and sensuality. They do not have a concept of "God" watching over them and making sure they don't sin. lol  I think this makes a difference.

Namaste,
Bella

In case you haven't noticed, sex is fun.

Also, what a rush and ego boost to have someone pay you to have sex with them.

I'd do it if some nice gal offered me $.

yea, it does cause I know at least one other provider who does it for the same reasons

I think this was the most honest and open reply so far.

I think some of the other responses are (very understandably) closed/guarded perhaps, or maybe over-simplified.  No offense!


I totally get the money aspect......

but that's not what I was alluding to.

What I was alluding to, was the fact that there are obvious effects to providing, and me not being a woman, nor a provider, was curious to hear the other side of things.

I know I feel somewhat guilty, at times... and it has an effect on my wallet. lol    There is also the aspect that once it's over it's over.  Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes it's a bad one.   Sometimes it's a whole lot less drama to get what I want, but then again, with a non-paid interaction, even if it's mostly about sex, you get a whole lot more out of it (again, sometimes a whole lot more good out of it, but then sometimes a whole lot more bad).  


but my point more than even that, is how beautiful many of these women are, and instead of taking different paths, they choose this one -  and I just want feedback as to why.

There are more paths than this, to get money - aren't there?

I mean, I see women using sex appeal all the time, to get all kinds of things....    they use it to get jobs, promotions, career positions that they are not qualified for, trophy wife, trophy girlfriend, etc, etc.....

First of all stop putting yourself on a pedestal. Most of us here are intelligent men and we treat the ladies we see with respect. You do not have a monopoly on that. Secondly, be careful not to put THEM on a pedestal either as you are bound to get hurt hobbying with blinders on.
Women provide because it pays well. It doesn't mean they may not enjoy the job part or even most of the time but if you spend a few hours talking with a lady about the downside of being a provider you will soon see that money is and always will be the primary motivation. On the up side, I have found that, with the right lady the money is the last thing that I think about!

about the society that we live in and we cannot live without and whoever pretends that this is not true, they are lying to themselves.

Petitebella, if providing was a normal work and if you really think it is a normal work, why don't you put it on your CV next time you apply for a position in the corporate world?

So, let us not lie. It is about money and money only. And it has always been about money ever since.

Thanks for the feedback, but you are mis-reading me (no offense).

Again, there are MANY ways to get money.  Taking THIS path is a pretty unique one, and I'm simply trying to gain insight.

Sorry if you feel I was trying to be condescending, but please allow me to clarify that is not my intention.

I'm simply trying to gain insight into the minds of the ladies...

I'm wondering how they feel about it.

Perhaps some feel that this is their only way to make money?  

Perhaps some are just cynical on life, and are doing this as a form of escape from the main?


What is so particularly curious to me, is how often I see attractive women getting all kinds of breaks and advantages..............  and so then, seeing some attractive women do something that is so straight-forward and obvious (giving their sex for money), it really just makes me wonder.

Maybe it's a good thing, or maybe it's a cynical thing..

I must say though, that it is a VERY sharp contrast, to the many attractive women I see, whom are so deluded with self, and so falsely conceited and uncaring and manipulative of others.

Don't get me wrong, this can be a form of manipulation to, but to a MUCH much lesser extent, because these women (besides the ROBs) deliver something in exchange for what they receive.


I've been on three regular dates in the past month, and two out of those three, were gold-diggers, who were very dishonest and deceptive.

"Again, there are MANY ways to get money.  Taking THIS path is a pretty unique one, and I'm simply trying to gain insight."

I'd like to know what options you think we have to make money.

Any job that pays decently requires a college degree(s) and well....that doesn't come cheap...

Men are often given more opportunities and scholarship money (sports & academics).  People will probably disagree with me on that but I really believe its true...

so unless a woman wants to graduate college and be chin deep in college loan debt, she escorts.  Escorting is really the only "job" that can pay tuition, rent, and living expenses without struggling.  Of course there is also stripping but that's not an option for women who are more discreet and/or can't work all night.

And for the women who escort as a career? College isn't for everyone and I don't think they should be judged for that.  I think the smart women work hard and invest their money in real estate, business, etc.  What other jobs could they do?  Waitress? Model? Hair dresser? If you know of something else let me know...but nothing I know of pays enough to keep you comfortable...

Gold diggers are just dishonest escorts. Escorts are smart enough to know not to depend on anyone but themselves.

I already wrote about how it's not accepted by society.

I already wrote about my personal career goals.

I already wrote that I don't work in the corporate world. I work in public service.

If you have something to add, READ what you're actually responding to. The poster was asking for personal opinions and thoughts, so it IS about me.

I do not lie to myself or others. In case you missed it, I also wrote that I do it for the  money. Geez!

PV is right on. Not everyone wants to go to college or finds the academic setting simply unbearable (not me, I'm a geek!). There are not as many options as one would think there are for women who choose not to go that route.


This was taken from the AFL-CIO website:
"In 2007, women are paid only 77 cents for every dollar a man is paid, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Economist Evelyn Murphy, president and founder of The WAGE Project, estimates the wage gap costs the average full-time U.S. woman worker between $700,000 and $2 million over the course of her work life.


And if they do decide to go to college, who will pay for it? If they are young (18-25), they must list their parents' income, whether or not their parents will pay for any of it. This affects loan and scholarship status. If they're older, they still have to pay housing and transportation costs, etc...If they have a child, it's insanely difficult to cover everything. (I'm not saying it can't be done, just noting the factors)

Whether it's accepted by society or not, people will do what it takes to live the life they want. It's a personal choice to take risks or not. Some people sell pot to their friends. It's a risk, but does it really hurt anyone?  Some women escort. It's a risk, but does it really hurt anyone? (And let's not go into any assumptions about psychological implications here without citing specific studies, please) If we keep placing personal moralistic judgements on what people do with their bodies, we will never grow as a society.

There is a very beautiful young (20ish?) barista at a cafe I frequent... probably she makes $8 or so an hour, plus tips. Standard job for a young college student. She shares an apartment with 2 other college students.

I know a 19 yo "escort" who just bought a house in San Diego.

That's why.

O.

Can you elaborate on what you're talking about when you say, "...how often I see attractive women getting all kinds of breaks and advantages..."?

I do agree that it is a personal choice, however I disagree with your question of "does it really hurt anyone?"

Yes, it does.  It can be quite painful for some, in fact.

I agree as well that people should be careful about judgements.  I also believe we need to look outside the box in order to grow as a society.  You may not be harmed, the men you are with may not be harmed, but does that mean there is no pain, or no harm to others?

For my pain, I blame my spouse as well as myself, no one else.  Your statement just prompted me to reply, because society today sorely lacks personal responsibility, and it would be nice for all of us to remember that our actions do affect others, it is not always about ourselves.

Hi Bella, I appreciate your feedback.

I want to ask you a question, but upon checking your site, it looks as if you only do massage.

Pardon me, but that is NOT the same as being a provider.

That is completely different.

Hi Victoria,

I appreciate your feedback, and please be patient with any ignorance I might have, because I definitely do NOT know everything!

Which brings me to the first question -  is college really that expensive?   I mean, I know community college is pretty cheap...   but I'm probably missing a big piece of the picture, because I never got my degree, so I'm not familiar with the whole process.


Your feedback though, is starting to help me to see the picture, in that young women are struggling to make it, and escorting provides a good source of income that they cannot easily get otherwise.

How much do escorts make?

What about the effects of escorting though?

Do the women who escort, later on in life feel twisted about their selves?

Again, I ask these questions, because I want to understand the mind/mentality of the ladies.  

I care about other people's feelings, and I also seek to learn from others.


Like, the last encounter with an escort I had, was pretty darn hott, but as I was enjoying myself, I started feeling somewhat guilty, or should I say badly, for the girl.

Should I not be concerned like that?

Or am I falsely concerned?


Oh and by the way, gold diggers are even less than "dishonest escorts", because many times they don't even provide anything.

The mind games these types of women play, not only mess with the minds of the men, but it also messes things up for other women, who are honest.

Good points Bella, but again - you only massage right?

So are you really PERSONALLY aware of the effects?


Also, I don't think we need to cite any "specific study", in order to speak on our experiences, and express ourselves.

This is not a court of law, just a discussion board.  There is no right or wrong, we are just sharing out opinions, and I am just asking questions.  

I'm not trying to make a case, nor prosecute ANYBODY.

As a matter of fact, I think I already admitted that I don't know!

I'm simply trying to further my understanding, not trying to judge anyone.


Personally I would guess that there is a HUGE trade-off, from doing escorting.

Yes it provides money (how much, I'm unclear on, and I'd like to get feedback from somebody on that), but what about later on in life?

Does a woman feel no effect at all, from escorting?

What about when a woman wants to pursue a relationship or love?  Will she look back, and not feel good about what she's done?

Or are people becoming much more cold and uncaring, to where we can do things, and be numb about it?

I'm not talking about if it's morally right or wrong.  That's for each individual to decide for their self.

I'm talking about the real impacts and effects.

See, on the one hand, I hear from women who act like they don't have any conscience about it, or don't have any problems with it (like you).

Then on the other hand though, speaking from personal experience as a man, you see the evidence of women not wanting to do this or that, BECAUSE THEY FEEL BAD DOING IT.


FOR EXAMPLE -

Why do more women provide BBBJ, but not LFK or DFK?

Don't try to sell me, that it's MORE dangerous to have your lips touch a man's lips, than it is to touch his dick.


What about facials?

Most men LOVE facials, but very few women provide them.

I think we know the MAIN reason why -  because many a woman feels very badly about herself from this.  She feels extremely degraded...  Yet how many women are totally cool with exploding on their tits?


How about dirty talk?

SOME women are totally cool with it, but then many others can only take a little bit of it.


Now if we go by your logic -  "does it really hurt anyone?", then things like this shouldn't be a problem.

I'd like to get a more in-depth response from you.


Well anyways, I'm just thinking out loud, expressing my thoughts.

Love to get your feedback as always, and again I mean no offense.

Normalize male/female pay for equivalent jobs, experience, training, etc, and the so-called "wage gap" virtually disappears. "Studies" like the one you referenced always depend on cherry-picked data, and are always the product of a political agenda.

Google "male female wage disparity" and you get hundreds of hits on articles from universities and gov't agencies, all of which are dominated by folks who want the wage gap to be true, in order to prove how unfair our male-dominated, evil, capitalist society really is, and how we need more government intervention to make things more fair.

Fucking for the money is easy - advanced degrees and devotion to a highly-paid career, or risking it all and working slave hours for slave wages to build a real business, aren't.  Hell, if you gals would pay me, I'd sell out my business that I spent a lifetime building in a heart-beat, and fuck for the money too.

Totally makes sense to me.  So, for argument sake, $$$ is a given.  You, as do I, add another dimension.  So, to actually experience why "they do it" I asked a  delightful 20 yr. old.  Her response was so candid it caught me by surprise.  "Because I like it, and you older guys know what you're doing."  Now, if you are a cynic, she had a practiced line to complete the session.  She could have been deferential to her agency's reputation.  The reality was we had a delightful time for both. Perhaps it fullfills the fantasy, but I do suspect that some ladies really do prefer kind, loving, competent silver foxes to pizzas and a quickie with selfish dudes.

Obviously, no one provider can speak for the crowd but I think you'll see that we are all kind of saying the same thing.
I graduated Bemidji State University in 1994.  It was hard work.  I worked a midnight shift at K-mart and took out student loans, lived on campus or shared houses with many students.  Of course a BA in English and writing didn't really get me anywhere.  
So.. off to Alaska! I spent three years working on the fishing ships, paid off my student loans, bought a car and paid rent on an apt. in Seattle.  It was hard work, and yes I got a lot of breaks especially on the ships where there were 30 women and 300 men, (but I didn't get paid any more than anyone else)
Then life choices brought my back to MN where I spent a year and a half in Massage School, working at Caribou Coffee for slave wages and taking up the ass (figuratively) from kids who were ten years younger than me, but still my manager.. ick!  But I did it, and graduated from Mpls Massage and Bodywork in 2004.  Then came the frustrating reality that I still needed to work for someone else, grovel for clients, and admit that the competition in this field was fierce!
One day, after I had had enough at a St. Paul salon I was working at, I put a small add in our local Craigs list..  BBW Provider, massage and more.. something like that.. and got 80 replies my first day!!
Baby... my life has been easy ever since.  At 34 I "work" maybe five hours, three days a week.  I live in a very nice suburban home with a pool, drive a 2001 SAAB, and have time for what really matters...
family, and writing my first book.
To say it's about the money is not really saying everything, I made money any way I could in my younger days, but the ease with which the money is now coming... that's why I'm hooked.
You can check out my site too and you'll find that i'm not one of those young 20 somethings you're talking about, but, man If I knew then what I know now....  

Sorry Mr. Passion.  I think you're off the mark.  The original question asked about personal opinions.  By criticizing that poster you yourself are acting as a censor.  Attacks like that are downright unfair.  
Petitebella, your opinion, whether agreed with or disagreed with is your own and WAS asked for.  I applaud you for that.

You're asking questions that can't be answered. You asked for personal responses. You got them, but it does not seem to be enough.

You want "real impacts and effects"? Go do some research. That's what I was talking about when I mentioned not making assumptions without citing studies. You're looking single answers that apply to every woman, which is an act of futility. The factors involved are too numerous to count.


BTW, you can't apply my "logic" to your questions about facials and dirty talk. My statement, "does it really hurt anyone" is based on consensual acts and assuming that all boundaries are respected and cannot be applied to the argument that if one person likes a particular act, then the other should, too. That makes no sense. Boundaries are not something that can be defined for an entire sex, nor are the reasons for creating them.


Final thought (and then I'll stop, I promise!): I don't think a person is "cold and uncaring" for engaging in sexual acts for money, or in order to "be numb about it". On the contrary, without compassion, the act itself could be pathetically unsatisfying. I hold women who provide FS and take it seriously in high regard. As you said, perhaps FBSM is not exactly the same as FS, but it is still considered a sexual service. Because I create my own rules and see only the clients I want to, I enjoy the experience. Massage is a healing modality. A "happy ending" is a sexual act. Tantric massage is a way to connect our spiritual and sexual energy. Therefore, I believe that to combine the three is to allow sex to be a healing experience for the body and spirit. This is where I'm coming from and why I see things in a positive light, and why I don't think what I do affects me in a negative way. I don't think it means that I don't care. I just know how to establish healthy boundaries for myself.

Namaste,
Bella

Petite and Morepassion, I think you both make valid points

Again, people have to be reminded, that your thoughts are just about that, your thoughts and opinions. We can only speak for ourselves, and I don't believe that there is a right, nor a wrong in how we all feel. Also, we have no right to question each other's judgements. We all have our own experiences.

For example: For myself, I went in only for the money. Yes, it was a quick buck, and I will not deny, that I had a good time. But, there came a time when I wanted something more, so I did some research into investing (thank god I met up with a client who was also gung ho in helping me in this venture, for that is what he does for a living), and I was able to transition myself to another line of work.

Again, we all have our reasons for staying and for leaving the business. No one should be judged for either or.

Great thread..

But the world doesn't just hand you money because you are Smart, or college educated, or Beautiful. I have to be honest your whole approach here is a bit more naive than I can honestly fathom. You've got ten reviews so I'm assuming that you are fairly active in the hobby. Have you ever talked to any of the women that you have seen? I tend to prefer older providers and almost every lady I see has a college degree. They choose to escort simply because it pays better and allows them more flexibility in their lives while earning good money. An entry level position in most good company for a woman with a degree may start 25 to 40 thousand dollars a year. A good escort can make six figures and work a lot less than the 45 or 50 hour week that corporate America expects from it's new hires nowadays. Now consider the lady with a good head on her shoulders who maybe didn't even go to college...let's see, Wal Mart at six something an hour or escorting at three hundred an hour. Do you even have to think about this?
Obviously escorting is not for everyone. Some of the most intelligent and fascinating women I have known in my life are escorts. That just helps them to be better at the job. It is still a job though.

Well, I'm detecting a little bit of contentiousness from you, so I don't really care to elaborate too much....     just to say that if you haven't noticed attractive women getting advantages then you might not have your eyes open.

I don't want to get sucked into a back and forth about it though, because I know I'm being honest, speaking my own opinion/perspective from my own experiences.

If you disagree, then you disagree.  I don't wish to debate though.

Call me naiive, but to consider having sex with random men every day as "just a job" seems strange to me.

This is why I said maybe some people are comfortable being cold/closed, and perhaps that is why you were so defensive with your previous response.

Either way, I mean no offense, and I DO appreciate your feedback.


I do accounting, so I TOTALLY see the money aspect (though I still haven't heard any responses as to the particulars of the earnings...   I wonder how many guys the average woman meets with per day or per week), but to discount the other aspects and their impacts, seems kinda like "looking the other way".


Personally I think about the lady, at some point trying for love, and then perhaps getting married, and then on the honeymoon, having all the memories and experiences of her past.............

I'm not ignoring anything. What I am saying simply is that women would not escort for free. Anymore than you or I would do our jobs for free.
The money is the primary reason for doing it.
You can keep asking the question but I doubt the answers will be any different than they have been...

Funniest thing, was that yesterday we finally proceeded to add a person in my department for some help.....

the fact that the person we got is a young and nice looking girl who wears a shirt I can look down while I'm working with/supervising her, I'm sure hasn't hurt her chances -  oh wait, I'm the boss!  

So therefore, in this case in particular, I can speak on personal and direct experience, that being an attractive female, has definitely given her a BIG advantage.

She dresses professionally, but you can see her nice rear in her slacks, as well as her wonderful middle-sized rack down her low cut shirt.

She is in there, as long as she does decently.


I'm thinking this is common knowledge to MOST, but just wanted to share, because this just happened yesterday, and I was thinking about this very thread.

Thanks again for your feedback.

Would like to hear from others.

I had this subject in mind, with a recent encounter I just had last night....

I asked several questions, and also did a little research and made some observations...


From what I see and hear (last night, as well as previous dealings), I think that these days, moral standards and principles have really loosened up to a great degree, and some of the young providers starting out, see this as kinda glamorous and exciting.

I think they intend to do this for a certain period of their life, and then lock it up in the closet.


So there's my own observation I just made today.

NOT for the money, as so many seem to assume. for me the financial aspect of providing only adds to the excitement/kink of it...this is the realization of a fantasy for me, as well as a very real long-time desire to make myself available to physically and emotionally serve men who are in need. and yes, imo it truly is a NEED. this is why i'm so selective with clients, because i have zero interest in seeing some guy who's just horny and wants a new piece. i wish to see those men who have been neglected by the other women in their life, who have suppressed desires waiting to be explored, who are stressed to the max and sorely need a reprieve. and by serving as an outlet for all of those tensions, i truly feel that i am performing a much-needed service for the world in general, and i only wish more women were willing to do the same.

no, it is not about the money. my rates are low, especially considering the quality of provider i am and all that i offer...and even with that i see very few clients, an avg. of 2 a week. so this is not a business venture for me...it is a passion. once i feel i'm too old to comfortably provide (right now i'm setting it at 30), then i'll gladly continue servicing the men who need me, for absolutely free.

btw...i'm a college graduate, and already very happily married.

Thanks for sharing that Lilli!

Nice to hear from some other sources...

This is a serious question, and I am very curious, and not trying to be a smart aZZ wench here

But, would you do it, if the money wasn't there? Would you just simply stop escorting let's say right now, and just do it for free? Again, I am not trying to put down anyone, but just trying to understand smile.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,292591,00.html

Wouldn't that just be called "sleeping around"?

Oh, but it's more dignified if there's money involved - is that your thinking?

If you're responding to Lilli, you need to re-read her response.  

She already answered that for you.

...i do believe Nitescape is correct, i more or less answered that in my previous post. but if you'd like a bit more detail, here goes: if by "it" you mean serve men, then yes i would, and do.

from my teenager years on i always had a reputation of being easy...a slut...the girl who never said no, and did all the things other girls wouldn't. it was painful for me at the time, but only because of other people's perceptions and judgements. but i never felt any shame about my drive to please men, and i never had the typically female issue of emotionally bonding through sexual activity. i was never sexually aggressive or forward...quite the opposite actually, always very shy, quiet and submissive. the submissive nature and the slut nature can be very closely entertwined.

i do spend time with men outside of the hobby, and for these men i am a slut, not a whore. but i enjoy being a whore as well because frankly, it's erotic as heck! i posted before about it being akin to a man paying for the other necessary services in life...getting the car washed, hair cut, suit tailored. and that is what i am...another service, they pay and expect to be satisfied. that makes me feel very objectified, which is a headspace which is very arousing for me. i know many women feel very empowered in this profession, but for me it is just the opposite, i feel very powerless and subservient. also, on the practical side, money serves the purpose of creating and maintaing a bit of emotional distance. not that i'm cold with my clients, but in this hobby it is understood (hopefully) by the men who partake that they are not the next great loves of a provider's life. when you engage in the same activities on a regular basis with a man in the civvie world, he can start to feel that he owns you, and that leads to unnecessary drama and negativity. and who needs that?


but Ms. HA, are you really saying that $$$ and self-interest is your major motivation? don't you have a passion for what you do?

another awesome post..   if only everyone were so honest and open, when posting anonymously on a discussion board...  I mean, that's what it's supposed to be for right?

Anyways, I'm feeling the last part of what you said especially, because that is exactly one of MY motivations from the other side...

In the dating scene, so many women are trained to USE sex, instead of letting the relationship being about who they really are....  it's funny, cause so many women are always pointing the finger at men, but this is really slick, because so many of those same finger pointing women, are the same ones who use sex for power and control.

Anyways, I have found that this can make things very "messy", in that you don't know where you truly stand with a woman, once you start engaging in casual sex.

Most of these women don't want casual sex with no strings, but if the notion of some kind of relationship is mixed in, so many will be all for it.

I think because they know with MOST men, they have the advantage in manipulations, because of how men are with their dicks and sex, and so this is very appealing to the selfish and self-serving women, who don't give a damn about others, only their own ego and amusement.

Rather than go through that big maze of smoke and mirrors, I only do two things -

1)  Strictly friendship with a woman, to see where things lead (relationship or not)

2)  Sex that is totally arranged (ie paid for), so there is no drama afterward.   I can leave when it's over, and don't have to waste any time or energy on any fake bullshit.

Yes, at the time that I was escorting (now retired), I did have a passion for making money, that I will admit lol I did have some good times, but I only went in it to make the money (which I am not ashamed to admit), and did make my goal and retired. I had invested my funds, where I am able to live of of it and also work part time now in the civvie world

I was just curious about your post, and wasn't meant to be a put down or anything like that ;0 winks.

the original question was -

"but Ms. HA, are you really saying that $$$ and self-interest is your major motivation? don't you have a passion for what you do?"


You kinda tried to go around it, but the answer is that money and SELF-interest was your only motivation.


Now on my OP and several times throughout the thread, I've stated that I'm aware that money is the motivation for the most part.....

what my question is asking though, is about the reasons women choose to do something they otherwise wouldn't do, and how do they feel about the consequences afterwards?

THAT is what I'm trying to get to, but most seem to want to avoid that...

I guess I can understand why, and I guess that answers my question, in a way.

Well nitescape,  very good post.
I would like to add, in that some say, hey this
does not hurt anyone, well I have to disagree with
that line of chit, there are providers present in
the hobby, who engage in mind fucking with the
clients, for the effect of getting the client
emotionally dependent upon them.
If you disagree, then go over to the erotic highway, and read of some of the many posts, in
which provider have intentionally played with a
clients emotional welfare, only to insure that
the income keeps coming in.
There are Golddiggers in the hobby as well, so let us not fool ourselves to that fact, and the fact that they hurt others, by emotional abusing
a man via head games. Which brings me to observe,
that there are some providers who have some issues, be it emotional, or personailty disorders,
who are using the hobby to not only get money,
but also satisfy, some need to control, or abuse
many innocent clients.

Excellent post.

I TOTALLY agree with you.

What's amazing to me, is how some folk are so scandalous, that they keep up this kinda agenda even outside of direct encounters..  in other words, many folks can't even be honest on a forum, like right here.

I think this is EXACTLY what's going on, with many of the women...   and I think it's also why there have been some very contentious replies here, and on my other thread.


That aside, I'm even more curious as to the women's issues...   I mean, many women are manipulative by nature, but just because you are able to manipulate others, doesn't mean that you don't have your own issues.

I find that similar to the man who is caught in a never-ending conquest of women, because he is running from his inner self, and can't face any TRUE intimacy, are these women, who use their wiles in a conquest of men.


Frankly, I'm amazed at the responses that act like there's absolutely ZERO consequences to deal with, or the others that have experienced them, but yet can't even share their experience to help others.

It really makes me sad that people can be so self-centered and uncaring of others.


I TRULY think, that many of the young women doing this, aren't thinking clearly about their futures, and the effects/toll this will take...   I think they are only attempting to run away from their current situation, or looking for an easy way out.

Unfortunately, even here, I don't think there are many people willing to be honest and open about these consequences, but rather want to be dismissive and cold, and pretend that there are none.

Did I have passion for it? Yes, at the time I did, but again (not to sugarcoat anything and straight from the heart), I never did it unless I made money. I came in w/a goal and I completed that goal, and just moved on to something else. No shame in my game at all :0

There you go

I appreciate that Ms. H, but would love to get you to elaborate, either here or via private message.

I'd like to know the specifics on how ladies feel about it - the pluses and the minuses.


I've created a new thread to ask that specifically.


Thank you again for your feedback.

I've been providing for about 3 months..i started because I needed the money. I have a family and lost my job and I'm a single parent.

I have my college degree.  I'm looking for a job.  In the mean time, I needed more money to pay my living expenses.  Not for extras...

I'm a beautiful full figured woman, about size 14..I've never had an issue meeting men.  
When I started I was amazed that these men where paying me money to have fun....It makes me feel good..

I've met so many amazing men. I also learned that attraction is so very different for everyone.  

The reality is...it makes me a bit numb. I do wonder how it will affect me in realtionships.... but at the same time I've learned so much from the men, and the experience..

It has made me understand sexuality better.  

But your marketing yourself, and delieving a product..some days i'm ok with that...other days it makes me sick....
but when my electric is about to get cut off, or I need to get my kids school supplies and clothes. I just put on a smile and do it..

I couldn't do this for a lifetime...i can do it when i need the money...My morals and my financial situation don't match....

I don't know what to think about that..so i try not to..i avoid realtionships..because i'm scared someone will find out....and i don't want to explain myself..cause i don't feel like there is any excuse that could make someone understand..unless they've walked in your shoes...i'm not ashamed..but its also not up for discussion.


I'm a simple nice regular gal.  I never dated a man, for how much money he had or made..or displayed..i dated him because of who he is as a person.  I didn't care if he was missing legs, arms...what ever, if i was attracted to him,,and i perceived him as a good person thats all that mattered....

I love that about me...i don't want that to change..i'm scared cause now i think of my time with men as $$$...

since i started I've had sex 2 without out being paid for it.....I use to love sex...playing...talking dirty..its different now...not bad..just different....


so thats why i do it...and how i feel about it... just sharing