If there is ONE constant in the P4P world IMHO it would be the endless amount of stories you hear (either from providers personally or on these message boards)  about how married women eventually seem to lose interest in sex altogether.

just yesterday. The lady said there is actually some chemical in the brain that begins to decline in both sexes after about two years of marriage. Didn't say why  as far as I can recall.

... did they lose interest in sex, or lose interest in sex with you?

‘Me and my husband are on different wave lengths re:sex now that we are in the ‘routine’ of marriage. He wants sex 4 times a week and it would take him about 15 mins each time to get there. I want GOOD sex which to me is about 2 to 3 hours of foreplay and sex each time. We don’t have the schedules to do that 3 times a week so we’ve hit stale mate but at least we’ve discussed it.’ I always wondered what happened from there....and how common this is? I will say that once  has to become ‘convenient’ it’s a dead fish in the water as far as I can see and I think that’s what she was saying...

Can be all of the above. The thrill is gone.
Menopause happens and effects a lot of women's sexual desires also. Not all.  

Thats a good one 🤣   but seriously  with women, and the man , ot take two ... all the above you mentioned ..and every day life  work  kids. .# well and keeping it  interesting  ..spontaneous...make a effort... spice it up..  little SexY vacation getaways o r how bout a sex therapist...😚

Married men go look at what's in the bed, then go to the fridge...... single men look in the fridge then go to bed

But since women are the focus of the OP... many reasons, some of which were already mentioned.  But many other possibilities.  Thus if you're in that situation and you're interested in working on it with your partner, don't assume it's one thing or another.  Talk with her about it. If she won't talk with you, see if she'll go to a counselor together--let her know how important it is to you and your happiness.  If she loves you, she'll go.  If not... at least you'll know where you stand.  

And for the typical hobbyist who raises that as their primary motivation for entering P4P land - you might want to resist taking their word at face value.  

Feminist answer: statistically, women are still pulling more than 50% of the weight in marriage and aren't even getting good orgasms. So they let other distractions, well, distract them.  

Its because they're married to old fat guys.  Send over a guy 20 years younger than them with a fit body and they will get interested again.  Don't know why its so obvious in the case of the husbands. but such a mystery when it comes to the wives.  

... if you're only looking for an easy answer to what is a much more complicated situation.

This may be true with some, but not in my case. It's me! This super hot, fit, muscular man, otherwise known as "Sir Fucks So Hot".

I can be nearly everything that a man can be as a Husband.

There is a economic upside to marriage ... if you can avoid divorce.

I have to say--your post IMHO is spot-on!! Men pay for sexual pleasure---that's just the way it is!! Marriage just seems like a bad "investment" relative to other options. Great response russ---I think you speak for a lot of guys regarding their true feelings about marriage--(especially the ones who've found themselves trapped in a lifeless marriage with no passion or sensuality whatsoever.)

If you really want an answer, find some couples who've been married 20-30-40-50 or more years.  Ask them your question about upside to marriage.  

TED talks rock!

I think a better way of saying it is this isn't the "only" place to ask that question.  But I'd venture to say (unfortunately) the bad marriage experiences outweigh the good ones---perhaps even more significantly than any of us realize.

Once the baby(ies) come, so does the stress. Little sleep, little time to have a moment to yourself, little time for friends, increased focus and stress related to finances and housing. Women with new babies dedicate 100% of their attention to the baby and family responsibility, with out ever making time for much else.

Going back to the biblical prospective.I don't think God intend for a man/woman to be unhappy and sexually deprived . King David and others had many wives (partners), they were   considered men of God ,and there is nowhere in the Bible that said they  were condemned or banished to an eternal punishment.Let's look at people who claim they interpret God's word and wrote their version of the bible.
King James was gay and his partner was Lord Buckingham (Buckingham Palace named after him).I understand that God uses different kinds of people to carry out his works.
But am also  of the opinion that people  have also invoked their own philosophy  in a effort to manipulate and  determine world order.

I question ANY and ALL "respectable" institutions--marriage being one of them. The older I get, the more I realize that most of our social systems are nothing more than control devices which keep us enslaved in some way. They do not promote freedom and creativity at all!!

Duke of Buckingham (not Lord ) thanks for the correction.And he was just one  lover of James who was also married with children.So James was basically playing on both side of the fence (so to speak ),..talking about hypocrisy.

It was the opposite for me with both of my ex-wives (5 years for the 1st, 10 for the 2nd).  Neither of them could get enough sex with me (and no, I don't have a big dick).  It was me who lost interest after a while.  I don't know why, but my sexual interest of them just fell off the charts.   I did feel badly about it.  It really wasn't fair to them.  But my sexual interest remains in younger, thinner women.  I didn't cheat on either of them, and didn't get into P4P until after the second divorce.  Is there a doctor in the house?

...will say that the woman i married,who passed 3 yrs ago,is reason why im in the hobby now...we met while i was on tour..married for 14 yrs...she loved women and thought that the best way to satisfy both of us and keep me "in line" was to seek out providers in each town,who were "open" for after concert meetings-she lead me to TER...listen....having ur wife find women she wants to share w you is not a bad thing...if the woman u married is losing interest in fucking you...maybe you married the wrong woman....or......

Women generally only enjoy sex when it’s new or when it’s wrong.  If it’s a new relationship or when they’re cheating they really like it. Otherwise, they lose interest.  There is an old adage that if within the first 6 months of marriage you put a marble in a barrel each time you have sex, you’ll fill it up.  If you then begin removing a marble each time you have sex, it will take the rest of your life to empty it.  So true.  

Yes, I would say children.  Women have children and it then seems that the offspring become their whole focus in life.  It is unfortunate that more married women do not understand the physical and psychological importance that sex is to men.  Wait.... never mind.  That would put me out of a job!!  

Married women lose interest in their men. Not all men. Just theirs. The reverse is also true. How many men reading this are married? You're cheating in your wife. Of course she doesn't want to fuck you anymore! Think she doesn't know you get it elsewhere? Stop deluding yourself.

One of my married lovers told me that his wife was never into sex! She did not give or liked to receive oral and that she just liked intercourse in missionary only and in bed. Not on the sofa, floor, car, kitchen table, leaning over the sink, etc. She never initiated. They mostly held hands but she never pressed for sex. Not long into his marriage the sex completely stopped. He makes very good money and took good care of her and it's like once the ring got on her finger, it was over. They have not made lover in nearly 20 years but that is what I was for!

My wife was completely self-centered.  If she wanted it, we did it.  If she did not, I just had to do without.  She would not make herself available to me unless it was to satisfy herself only.  When she lost interest in sex, it stopped completely.  She said we didn’t need it and that was that.  If she has been available to me the way you were to your husband, I might never have entered the hobby.   Of course now that I’m involved in it, it’s very difficult to stop.  

I completely understand your point.  I’ve had similar feelings before.  I’ve concluded, however, that marriage provides financial and familial stability and emotional comfort for many.  If you have kids, marriage makes it harder for the parents to split and can keep some relationships and families together as they work through tough times.  But, make no mistake...marriage can be tough and finding someone  compatible for life is a crap shoot at best.  I think providers may keep more marriages together than they realize because they provide an outlet for a spouse to get needs met and remain with their sexually disinterested or now physically unappealing partner.  

They like different dicks..

Gives quite a perspective.  

First of all I had paragraph breaks in my post lol! I don't know why they did not show up, wow!! I am a believer in those so it was not a huge paragraph. I apologize that it looks that way. Could it have been that my post was too long? Don't know but second thing, I never had a sex drive until my 20's. My ex and I had chemistry, well at least sexual. Hell we did it on the floor with his parents in the next room and they walked in on us and we didn't stop! This was after our first child. During the pregnancy, his dick needed batteries! I had that thing working over time!! I went to his job once when I was feeling that tingle and we did it in the stair ways. With the subsequent pregnancies he was like oh lord cause he knew he had to have that dick charged up at every time!!! It could be true women without the mother gene have a high self drive but some milfs are mybf!!!!! (mothers you better f&ck!!!)

Paragraph test.  

...quite a few seem to be REALLY into sex!!!...a lot of times its the husband that loses interest...work stress/cute secretary/cant have "wings&beers"with the boys,etc...many of the "non hobby" women i've seen, i found out the next day,were married...when i found out-stopped seeing them,but all had the same story..hubby stopped finding new ways to fill the hole...will say...i was married,14 yrs...wife passed 3 yrs ago...BUT...never lost interest in sex....she was bi...when she met a gal she liked,she asked me to watch,invited me to join...then we would spend the next few days reliving what we experienced

its a trap once you are married, give them kids, a house

A FRIGGIN MEN!! You sir, have written one of the greatest posts in TER history IMHO!! EVERY syllable is 100% truth!! BRAVO!!

Paragraphs display differently on smartphones vs PCs.

He gave me what I wanted to I said I would give him what he wanted. I always made sure that I was looking my best too and well I could fake it when I needed to. I never denied him as I was truly grateful of the life that I was living.

marry her.

I think a lot of it stems from the idea that monogamy is the only way a marriage can survive. By seeking pleasures outside the marriage, you deflect boredom  and regain appreciation for your spouse. You feel the difference between casual sex and making  love. Each is wonderful in its own way but if you only have one or the other, you can easily lose interest. If you think of it like food...if you had nothing but tacos for dinner, even if tacos are your favorite, wouldn't you crave something different? If you have spaghetti one night a week or sandwiches once a month, you still love tacos, but the monotony goes away  and you appreciate your tacos more!

A lady who writes on the subject of why women especially married women lose interest is Rebecca Watson. Check out her site hightmarriage  

There are a few reasons that my male friends have shared with me about their partners. Medication, depression, and other medical issues (such as cervical cancer). A lot of women experience life changes that kill their sex drives. Having children is another reason but I don't understand exactly the two are related.

2-3 hours of foreplay....
Translation: clean the house!

and turns out that women lose sexual interest for their male partners earlier in the relationship than men do.  But that doesn't mean that their sexuality is dead by any means.  Esther Perel, a Belgian psychologist, has written 2 amazing books  and given numerous talks (including TED talks) on the topic.; fascinating staff, especially her first book Mating in Captivity. Highly recommend.  

I agree.  Marriage is comforting.  After much consideration over years, and particularly over the last couple of years, there is something ineffable about marriage that I really can’t imagine living without.  It’s like saying, why buy a house when you can rent and move to a new place whenever you want.

With you there....my ex was the same way. Except she would give it to me if I wanted it, but being able to see she didn't want it just made me lose any desire for her. Should have walked a long time before the end came on its own.... only fucked around once...for about a month and a half. I was 40 and the woman was 27, what 40 yr old man is gonna turn that down? Especially when there's no play at home! Ex still doesn't know to this day it happened, although she started to get a whiff....thats when I shut it down.

If you tell her you will give her $500 and then promise to leave in an hour, she would have rocked your world.  

NIce response. IMHO there are many reasons why people stop having sex with their partners; primarily because it's natural (the lust phase has a shelf life) and add to that routine, familiarity, domesticity, complacency or boredom among others. For people who cannot manage a dead bed situation and cannot envision the idea of some form of non-monogamy  or active work on rekindling desire by themselves it is going to be a challenge not to build resentment over time, especially is sex is used for bargaining on the lower libido side and/or felt as a  "right" by the higher libido side. One factor that I see very clear around me is this idea of merging with your partner into one, the Brangelinas of the world. The moment you merge with your partner into "one" then desire is doomed. It is hard to desire what one has so close that is almost oneself. Desire breathes in otherness, so it is important to respect the partners individuality and autonomy and  work on creating scenarios where she/he is seen that way (i.e dance parties, or seeing him/her in his/her personal environment which you are not part of).  That helps create this degree of separation where desire can reemerge. That said, it is not a one size fits all.

I read it three weeks ago! :-/