I know this subject has been posted before and I feel like a fool for not taking the advice offered by the wiser counsel provided on this site.  I fell hard for a provider, she was beautiful, fun, and the sex was incredible.  Being married the only thing I could do was provide her with gifts.  At first it was I need money because I can't pay the rent, and I would give it to her.  Then for her car window that was smashed, and for her trip to Atlanta.  All the time the sex became less frequent, the demands for money more frequent and the time we spent together less fulfilling.  Now she won't even talk to me.  Be careful fellows.  Falling in love is a wonderful thing when two people do it together.  Falling in love when only one person is committed is painful and hurtful.  Perhaps, there are providers somewhere who would have returned the affection and I don't mean to paint with a broad brush all providers but I've learned a very painful and expensive lesson.

Sorry you've had such a hard time, it's painful when that happens no matter how you met.

In any relationship if one partner (male or female) is doing all the taking and less and less of the giving - not just sexually or financially but on an emotional level - the alarms bells should start ringing loudly.

I've spoken to providers who find the idea of having a relationship with a client almost disgusting - which makes me wonder how they can have sex with the guys in the first place.

Believe me, it does happen and when it does it's just as wonderful as falling in love with somebody the provider met in another way.  Well, for me anyway!

IMO, if a Provider excepts money, other than a regular donation, she's a player plain and simple. OK...Flame away...but I feel very strongly about this. Everytime I see one of those "Wish Lists" I cringe...The sites with the links to BMW, Mazaratti( I can't even spell it)Tiffany's, etc. makes me want to puke. I'm sorry guys, but the sex CAN'T be that good...Having the need to rescue is not a bad thing perse, but when your all used up and wondering what the heck just happened, feeling like a fool can't be fun.I treat my clients like my friends, I don't borrow or loan money, since I value their friendship, I don't want money or obligation to become an issue. We as Providers, are paid well for what we do, so if money management is an issue for your ATF, than buy her a course on budget management. All of you "White Knights" out there, aren't really helping anyone by allowing this kind of behavior, but rather creating emotional cripples, that once done with you, will move on to the next enabler(sp?)while learning no valuable lesson, other than how to manipulate and suck the life out of others. Women who are taught early on, to use their physical attributes to survive, make miserable older women, since not much time is devoted to anything deeper than the superficial, they are not fun people to be around. Palm Springs, as well as Beverly Hills and other high income areas, are full of these gals. They drown their sorrows in booze and pills and keep the Plastic Surgeons in BMW's. But when it's all said and done they have no future, because they have no substance. So when you guys don't incourage your ATF's to become strong, balanced & caring human-beings, but rather, concience-void, shallow, users, your doing her more damage, than your ego will suffer if you just tell her NO...!!!Just my $.02 worth....

I really applaud her post!
I can't stand women like that - users! Don't give in to them!
And they will always have 'situations' - broken windows, short on the rent, car problems..but so do we all, and we figure it out.
Wasn't it Loverofwomen who said one of his ladies reported to him that another of his lady guests had been heard to say that she (proudly) planned to take him for all he's got, etc? Kick those types to the curb!

Just goes to show you how astute so many of you folks are on this board!

-- Modified on 5/28/2003 7:57:40 PM

pick up that "brush" and paint an even wider swath on your bedroom wall. that way you'll remember what happened and why there's NO EXCEPTION to this rule

[sigh]

sorry, i couldn't resist

Excellent post Silky. One that would have been greeted differently if stated by a hobbyiest, but coming from you I think will make more people think greatly and be accepted on a much larger scale.

As Marcane pointed out ,I hope not all people paint with that broad brush either as I imagine there are legitamte situations out there that can be based on other circumstances. As Carrie said, it happens in all walks of life, I know I have relatives so much like that and sometimes the deception of a family love cuts even deeper. It all cuts, but some worse than others.

So glad to see one of the ladies being so open and frank. Very refreshing.

As much as people would like to disagree with me (and that's fine) providers are not like other women.  Most have trained themselves to think of this as a business and that its bad for business to get involved so to allow yourself to care too much for a woman like that is dangerous.

As far as what Silky said about giving them money, that is something that shouldn't be done.  You said the sex was less, why should she give you sex if you're just handing her money?  

I do feel though that it depends on if you are dealing with a provider or a SO and if it is a SO, what type of relationship you really have..  My ex and I are the best of friends to this day and if I need any monetary help or if he does...we are they to help each other

As far as providers with wishlist and links to BMW and such it depends on exactly how its put.  I have a wishlist (the things on it are in no means as grand as a BMW) however I would rather receive a gift rather than a monetary tip if a tip was going to be given.  As I have stated several times on my site, tips aren't required nor are gifts but sometimes a guy wants to do that and with the list he would know what I would like.

These are only my thoughts...that is all lol

I also did the same thing I sarted seeing this one provider only for 2.5 years and after the first 8 or 9 months I really did fall very munch in love with girl. She was going to Collage and I started paying for her school and all of her other bills. An we would travel weekends and on one night on a moon lit night by the ocean in Cancun, Mexico I asked her to marry me and she did say yes. So some times these work out to be good and other times they can turn out to be a living hell. It does not matter how a person meets someone or what they do. Providers are just people like you and I but at the end of the day we all are not perfect. So my point there is nothing wrong with falling in love with a provider if she returns the love from the heart no pun there is good and bad in every case mine just turned out to be good and still is.

Silky couldn't have said it better. But dude, you are a married man alley catting on his wife. I guess karma is a mo fo. What did you really expect? I guess being a single man it is for me to say huh?

http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?BoardID=1&SortBy=DateCreated%20desc&SearchType=1&Author=Dell7&DayFrom=30&DayTo=0&Submit=Submit&MessageID=73360

-- Modified on 5/30/2003 1:03:54 AM

Robyn seems to be a big fan of mine, and I think I'm becoming a big fan of hers. I do appreciate her frank, common sense approach to the gig. She forgot the part about a lot of these ladies forking over your dough to their pimp, but that should be implied by the post. She's right about one thing, I see one of those wish lists and cross her off my list.

When I go to an MP or dial up and escort, I just want to fuck. Oh, don't get me wrong, I will probably end up liking you, and if you want to go for a drink or snack afterwards, I'd be up for it. But I don't fall in love with my mechanic, what makes you think you're so special?

Robyn is right about one thing: White Knight Syndrome is pathetic to watch in action. If only you could know the truth about many of these ladies...

Are you still married and why are you still reading this discussion board?  Obviously none of my business but this is worse than waiting for the new TV season to find out what happened to your favorite character

Silky,

Of all the posts I have read on this board, your response is by far the most well thought out, perhaps even inspirational, to those of us who have a tendency to let our emotional attachment issues get in the way of having relationsips with providers.

Thank you so much for your insight.

I have another name for White Knight Syndrome.  I call it being a wuss.  In my experience, women are not particularly attacted to overly needy, please be my girl friend, I loved from the moment I first saw you, et.  Need I go on ?  Be a man.  Sure we have the feelings but we can't show 'em too much.  Being a real man is hard.  But if you can become one, all women, straight and providers, are more attracted to you.

Don't be abusive.  Do not denigrate them at all.  Show respect but not in a needy way.  It's a tightrope for sure.