It's important not to lose sight of the fact that, though they may be our ATF's, for them, we are often simply one of many. No, this is not always the case but it's pretty clear that it is the customer, not the provider, who more often develops feelings and expectations that are inappropriate within the context of a P4P relationship. When I get aggravated at a ladies apparent bad behavior I try to take a step back and remember that it is a job for her...and not a normal one at that.
Many of us guys experience enhanced delights with repeat visits to our favorite ladies, as do you. Occasionally, the delight detiorates as well. Normal. Quite sad and disappointing, part of the business. A sad way to transform yourself from a GFE to just another provider.
So, for you darlin's a reason for the decline is multiple NCNS. This has not happened to me for five years, but twice this month. 160 miles round trip, nada results. We guys do as much prep for a session as do you. Plenty of advance email schedules accompanied by follow-up VM acknowledged (clear your vm mailbox). I know that is part of our hobby, but is just not acceptable. Wonderful lady, but clear signal to just move on. How sad.
ATF is All Time Favorite. How can one possibly have 4-5 All Time Favorites??? That simply makes no sense.
But in response to the OP, I have had women who I thought I had a great time with (Multiple sessions over a extended period of time), completely disappear from the face of the earth without so much as a goodbye note.
I write it off as the fact that our "relationship" is very transient anyways, so why should ending it be any different..
and providers job is to make you realize your fantasies. As long as you keep this perspective in mind, you will be just fine.
I made this foolish mistake when I first ventured into the hobby costing lot of $$$$$$ in return. Learned my lesson and learned to enjoy the moment of fantasy. Nothing more nothing less.
Works better for all around. It is just like when you had girlfriends in high school and college. You are stifling me, I need my space kind of deal.
I have 3 girls whom I currently consider ATFs. Two others I no longer see, for various reasons. Why not have 3 or more all time favorites? That does give you the opportunity to enjoy yourself and keep enjoying yourself as one or more retires, moves, or whatever.
I do have one who is my absolute all time favorite, but so far that acronym--aatf--has not caught on. LOL
I have had the same AFT since day 1 of hobbying...as for secondaries, there has been no permanency. But #1 has been #1 for over four years...longer than any civvie relationship ever lasted. So ask me why I love this hobby!
It's important not to lose sight of the fact that, though they may be our ATF's, for them, we are often simply one of many. No, this is not always the case but it's pretty clear that it is the customer, not the provider, who more often develops feelings and expectations that are inappropriate within the context of a P4P relationship. When I get aggravated at a ladies apparent bad behavior I try to take a step back and remember that it is a job for her...and not a normal one at that.
If I feel a strong connection I enjoy my feelings intensely, understand the context and try to have few expectations. I don't always meet this standard but it is my intention. It's helpful in all human relationships to reflect upon the other persons point of view and what they have to deal with. Unconditional empathy and compassion are the best gift we can give.
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