Just want to get everyones thoughts on this-I have been hobbying for close to 2 years now...and have seen some really wonderful women.....I have close to 30 reviews posted...my question is:most of the women I have seen have never asked for my real name or place of work when screening me- just a phone # and references etc. -the women I have seen aren't newbies(usually in the top 100 for their area), so I dont get why some providers still would require this info when screening.  I have passed up some really beautiful women because they have asked for this.  I dont feel comfortable giving this info.  I dont know the providers real name and place of work. I believe in discretion, I understand they want to feel safe, but isnt that why references are checked and there are provider boards. Love to hear from experienced hobbyists as well as providers.  Thanks.

It makes some of them feel safe (in their own mind of course) if they know your real name...

OR/ AND

It gives them weapon to blacklist you and put your shit on those infamous and dreaded lists. If they have your real name and employment info, how comfortable would you be posting a harsh review of the lady, should she deserve one?

This verification shit has always been a one way street and I will play with only those who will work with me on my terms..

-- Modified on 1/23/2013 11:21:28 AM

Have had to pass up some good clients, but ultimately they are simply protecting themselves.

I can't really find fault with that.

MM

stuff a provider's dead body in a suitcase. Does that answer your question? Regardless of how many other women accepted references, you just stumbled on some who want more info. You don't have to see them, and they don't have to change their methods to suit you. They are the ones running a business, and you are the one wanting to hire them. My doctor requires my name, photo ID, and SS number but there are clinics that don't require any of this. I can choose either one of those options.

usually higher the rate more info they want.

Cops have the most difficult job.... they stop some bloke for a minor traffic violation - and wind up dead, every single day.

now switch to escorts.  They have no idea of who is behind door #1.  I've given this info out to any number of ladies - including my business web site, where if they really really want, they can see a current photo of ME!  My work place and address for that.  Some even call my work, ask for me, and I speak to them.  When they call, all they say is "Hi, this is Sally, may I speak to mr Superdude?"  they put her to my extension (of course they use my real name).  

Never, ever had a problem even where I provide a less that 7 review.  Every year we hear about some woman who provides, and as London says winds up looking at the interior of a suitcase.

Whatever makes the cop or the lady more comfortable - just do it.

The provider having all that info is not going to deter a true asshole to do what he wants to do... A stalker from the Buckeye state has not turned into a gentleman just because his info is out there.

A gentleman will always be a gentleman. An asshole will always be an asshole.. If someone wants to go to the lengths that you describe, then nothing is stopping him.. May be 44 caliber will..

Wait till Cubbie jumps on this one with his leftist agenda..

Tis true, but for most guys, it does help. If they even think that provider may have told even one person, "Look girl, I am seeing Johnnie Boy on Sept 1, at the Hilton, in Room 2345," he will be less likely to do something stupid.

Our friend from the Buckeye state is a moron, who would be too damn stupid to get away with anything lol. The cops would know right where to find his stupid ass with his info ALREADY all over the net. Also, consider he has NOTHING to lose. No job, no wife, no life..most other men very well do have a lot to lose so their info. acts as a deterrent for future issues.

I don't know why many ladies insist on personal info. other than what I said above, and I certainly can't speak for the logic of women I have never met ha ha. Just giving a general statement based on the reasons I have heard.





-- Modified on 1/23/2013 11:58:40 AM

Identities are stolen every day ,  fake ID's can be bought or made to match the stolen name   .
   In instances of robbery or worse when the criminal is using a fake ID , name and employment is not a breeze to trace.
    I hope she also checks references and phone # . Screening with ID and employment only is risky .
 Her screening procedure is up to her .   Who you see behind closed doors  is up to you passing her own screening procedure , not yours ,  both here and the outside  world  .
 

Hi,

I have given them to agencies & Indy's, because I've done research on women I want to see & make sure an established hobbyist has seen them!! If everything is legit the ladies get my info!! I've been in this hobby for 10 years & have had no problems!! The key is research, research, research!! I can understand why women don't give out their real info, for there are some guys who have nefarious intentions & they want to be safe! If you don't feel right about giving real info out, then I suggest you move on to ladies who don't require real Info!  I just feel safer when a well established TER lady, or, in one case, a well established BP lady asks for Info!! I know that she screens well & I will not have any qualms about seeing her!!

even if he's not a violent psycho.  Maybe he's just a horny broke dude (and there are lots of them out there...and on this board!).  And maybe he starts to think he can get over on a girl by 'forgetting' his money (it's happened to me more than once, including from one guy who had references).  If the girl has his real name, her ability to find his wife's Facebook page, for example, is significantly increased.  And so the odds of his life being fucked over if he messes with the girl are also significantly increased.   And so the odds of him fucking with the girl are significantly decreased.

Are there flaws in this reasoning that can be worked around / manipulated?  Absolutely - no system is perfect, and there are no guarantees - we all know that.  But the odds of being safe and generally not fucked with do increase when the man knows that we can find his family or employer.

I'm not defending any bad behavior on anyone's part, and I understand that some girls misuse the info they receive.  I'm also not one to react rashly or vindictively, and I don't use the public blacklist sites.  I completely understand the predicament that a bat shit crazy girl can put a man in, and I am sympathetic.  But I've also been ripped off enough times that I need to do what I need to do to limit or preclude any bad client issues.  The bottom line is  I conduct my screening in a way I'm comfortable with, and I assume everyone else will do the same.  



-- Modified on 1/23/2013 12:17:28 PM

Have you ever posted a scathing review of a provider?

Hi Gun Nut ,

.. w/ the women i see!! There was a woman who refused to see me due to circumstances beyond my control! I could not write a review, but I talked about it on the boards & yes, I did give her my real info!! She
& I had a dust ip on the boards, but she didn't cause me any trouble w/ my employer! For that I commend her & I let the animosity toward her go!! There are too many "fish in the sea!"

plenty of fish in the sea, so if you don't like dealing with agencies, assistants and anything else that makes you uncomfortable, there are still a ton of people that will rock your world.

Don't focus on what you can't have because of your level of comfort, focus upon what you can and do have and enjoy it.

...they put measures in place to cover their ass.
Just in case he has the urge/impulse to bend her rules, not pay, short $, etc makes it all the more tempting when she has no recourse and he has no accountability for his actions.
Think about it,  If she's hell bent on retaliating/extorting a guy all she (or have a friend do it like that Zumba girl did) needs to do is walk out to the parking lot and jot down his tag number....jus sayin

Should you ever invite the wrath of a BSC provider, you would know what I mean...

Believer in 1st amendment so I will write the review if I feel that I have something of importance to say....

Who will answer your main work phone? Probably no one. Unless you have one in a million unique name you are one of many.

Let's suppose the call goes to HR (highly unlikely), they can legally only say you work there or not.

Large companies have  automated system for reference, salary verification, etc,. So, one could use it for one's benefit since, the caller never gets to speak to any human. You will have to setup the access and you can set it up for certain period of time.

"I conduct my screening in a way I'm comfortable with, and I assume everyone else will do the same"  is absolutely true.  That is your right and prospective clients absolutely have the right to accept or not accept your terms.  Seems simple enough, but I think the flaws in the logic of why it is done that way leave clients perplexed and don't really offer the protection that you ladies claim.  I have two thoughts on the issue, but let me first say that I have no issue with screening.  I have nothing to hide and no one to answer to, plus I am probably one of the easiest screens anyone has ever done.  So that makes it easier for me to accept the status quo than for many.  That being said, the reasons for real name, place of employment, etc. don't necessarily offer the guarantees stated in this thread.  Perhaps they improve the odds a bit, but as Curly stated above, a gentleman will be a gentleman and an asshole will be an asshole, whether you have his name or not.  All the screening you want probably won't stop a psycho, or even a plain old asshole, because they really don't care about that shit.  That is what makes them psycho assholes  My second thought is to put the shoe on the other foot.  Many threads I have read on this subject harp on the unfairness of "you want to know my real name, but I don't get to know yours".  Again reasons abound from protection from stalkers, to protection from being outed to family, SO, civvie jobs, etc.  And they are all very legitimate and reasonable!  BUT, if they are reasonable for providers, why then shouldn't they also be reasonable protections for clients?  Just sayin'  Without that, a client has little leverage if he unfortunately hooks up with a crazy or unscrupulous provider.  Get ripped off by a provider and the option is to write a bad review, or post on the boards... Ouch!  Can't find her or her husband's facebook page or anything.  She just changes names and goes happily on her way to rip off someone else.  Now, before everyone jumps on me, remember I said I don't have a problem with screening!  And, I know that none of the wonderful ladies here on TER would ever take advantage of any of us poor saps while we are being lead around by the little head  Just had some time to fill. Ha!

Excellent points, but you miss one tiny thing..you guys do not HAVE to hobby. Many women here use this as their sole source of income, and they can't just up and quit or they would be homeless left with hungry children. When you go into ANY business, you adhere to the terms set by that business, or you take your business somewhere else. I don't mean to sound condescending, but all a lady owes a guy here is the time he paid for, and discretion...we don't sign up to provide our real info. and you know that coming in. Once again, this is OUR business, and a guy's hobby. If a woman needs your money bad enough, she just might get lax on her screening, but too many have been busted or killed by doing that.

No, these extra precautions do not 100 percent protect us, but I see very few alerts about guys who up the info. I would say 1 in 100, and probably less than that. Any idea how many alerts go up every DAY and numerous times, about guys who did not provide personal info.? A shit load lol. Saying that because this form of screening is not 100 percent effective, that it somehow should not be considered, is sort of like saying we should not bother using condoms because they are only 99 percent effective too.

When I used to travel, I required TER ID and refs...now you have guys who refuse to even give your their damn hobby name, on top of not providing personal info. Fk that. It is one or the other.



-- Modified on 1/23/2013 10:33:15 PM

Verifying employment is a technique providers use to avoid an LE trap. Problem is, it's no guarantee. LE is known to set up fake "employer" stings and have nabbed a few in our area using this technique. If you called my work phone, you'd get my voice mail - again, no guarantee, anyone can set up a fake VM account. I once had a provider call my employer back in my newbie days when I didn't know any better, asking for my hobby name. They never heard of me so she NCNS'd me at the last minute. I learned a good lesson that day.

I gave my real name to a provider once. I saw her a couple of times and decided we weren't a good match. I could have written a BS review claiming she was the bomb but for me, she indeed "bombed" and the fact she had my real name led me not to review her. I have no idea if she would have remained trustworthy with a less than flattering review so I wasn't taking any chances.

My policy is to not give out real info. I have plenty of excellent references and if a provider won't accept an OK from providers I see on a regular basis, then I won't pursue her any further. Call my provider friends, they know me VERY well and if you don't believe them, we're not a good match anyway. Having said this, I can think of a few providers here who I'm positive I could trust so I'm not implying that all providers are untrustworthy. Still, the fewer who have your private information, the safer you are.

The most reliable screening method in the hobby is provider references.  Yet many ladies require work info, work phone, real name and home location for reasons that don't make sense to me.  All of that stuff can be faked easily.  Don't believe me?  Find someone - anyone with a good job - who has their work info posted on a company webpage.  Then contact a lady with it from a hobby email account.  Over 80% of the time, you'll get an appointment.

The reason why I hate giving out real info is that I'm scared of the blacklist sites and provider only boards.  You can end up on them for any reason whatsoever even if you've never seen the lady.  The blacklist sites are full of "timewasters" - people the ladies have never actually met.  Ladies who have never been inconvenienced by the client except for emails/texts/phone calls that can easily be blocked or ignored.  Yet they're going to ruin this guy's life because he emailed her too often or canceled on her.  What a f'in joke.  And because these blacklist sites and PO boards are unmoderated, you have no recourse to get your info off of them aside from retaining a lawyer.

All that said, there are trustworthy providers out there - many who understand clients' precarious position.  However you have no idea whether a particular lady is one until you contact her.  And a lot of ladies are completely and totally crazy.

-- Modified on 1/23/2013 8:44:59 PM

Not all providers are amateur morons either honey. So, you say you are Obama who works at the White House, and I should google you? Nice try, but I am calling YOU at work to speak with YOU, and I am running a whois search on your so called company website to see when that website was put up. Furthermore, if your business is not listed in the Treasury Dept. it is BULLSHIT!

I know how LE works babe, and there is little to no chance they are going to go through all THAT trouble to bust an INDY provider who is not suspected or A. Being underage, B. Using or selling drugs, and C. Has a Pimp who might be forcing her to do this. In five years not only have I never been busted, but I have pretty much never been bothered with by LE. I was in Nashville the very week the stings were going down two years ago, and they never even contacted me. Why? Who knows, but it's not so easy to get through certain providers' screening process, and you will know when you run into one who is thorough.

It really does not matter why some providers require employment verification...they know why, and it's not for us to judge them. Don't like it? Hey, move on. Done deal.

-- Modified on 1/23/2013 9:05:16 PM

Because in life there are more important things than money, such as my safety and well-being.
Being an independent escort comes with certain risks since we put ourselves in a situation where we are the most vulnerable. For these reasons it is important that I feel safe, reassured and protected.

Without proper screening, the following are the worst case scenarios encountered in the profession: violence, abuse, threats, robbery and harassment. On the more common end, ladies also have to deal with the pranksters, the time wasters and the hagglers.  A man who is not willing to provide a minimum of information may have malicious intentions or may simply not plan on keeping the appointment.

as opposed to other methods of screening such as well-known provider references. We all know the reasons for screening, what we differ on is the methods used. Every provider has a different comfort zone, we all know that.

If I was a provider screening a new client, I'd call as many of his references as possible and ask loads of questions about his attitude, behavior, level of respect, personality, whether he's ever gone off the deep end, etc. If you're truly concerned about your safety, this method will give you a much better sense of security than having his real name and verifying where he works, assuming the info he gives you is even correct. I've always thought that providers who demanded real name and workplace info were the ones who were looking for a method of revenge should he not show up or waste her time. Knowing his real name and where he works gives you absolutely no sense of safety but does provide an excellent way to blackmail or destroy him should you choose to do so. So are you really looking out for your own safety? If you are, call his references and ask them questions. Find out how many times they've seen him and whether he's changed over time. That was the point of the OP.

Very good London!  Again, please understand that I am not arguing against screening, but simply raising points for the sake of healthy discussion.  The hobby is a two way street.  If guys don't hobby, providers don't make money.  Granted there is no shortage of horney men who are willing to throw caution to the wind.  Oh, and "hobby" is a euphamism, by the way, for consumer of services.  It doesn't mean anything else.  Your BUSINESS is selling a service,  we are consumers of that service.  Without those consumers there is no business.  I also sell a service to my clients and I set the rates and terms of payment for those services.  If my clients don't like my terms then they can choose another vendor.  No different really. Still, the TRUTH is that women don't really HAVE to provide either.  It is a choice they make.   Admittedly, there are many uneducated or unskilled women that feel that there is no other alternative.  The sad truth is that those are the ones who either don't screen or screen very lightly, so not really relevant to this discussion, although they are the ones at the greatest risk.  They also are the exact ones that many ladies on this board refer guys to who don't like screening or giving out their personal information.  So who is putting who at risk?  Many, many times ladies have said "If you don't like my screening policy, go find one of the BP ladies who doesn't screen or request references".  The ladies who have strict screening standards are the educated ones!  The ones who generally make 6 figures or more, and should or do have other choices.  They are not really in danger of being homeless or not feeding their children.  In fact, many of these ladies make more than some the poor slobs who are paying them.  Some even have full time careers and chose to provide, for extra money or because they enjoy the life.  Others chose this career because it provides an excellent income, travel opportunity, excitement, and control of their own destiny.  You are right though, in that I have no idea how many alerts go out about dangerous or dishonest guys in a given day.  I'm sure I would be shocked.  I do know that there are also many stories posted of guys that have gone to an incall only to be beaten and robbed by thugs, or in one case I read about recently the poor dude was mugged by an over aged asian lady who took his money and broke his glasses, lol.  Don't mean to make light, but the point is that neither side exists without the other.  We all have something to risk, and really all we owe each other is what we contracted for.  The lady provides time and discretion, and the gentleman provides payment for said time and discretion.  Beyond that it is about leverage.  Fortunately for the ladies, the men have less self control and that puts ladies in the drivers seat.  So if they want to screen you to see you, then get screened or say hello to Rosey Palm, right?  Love ya!

Both sides need to be comfortable on both ends.  You can say your terms; she can say hers.  If you can't come to an understanding, walk away, instead of complaining about why.

Or negotiate...because sometimes if you are good at negotiating, you can get your way.

All that said, there are trustworthy hobbyists out there - many who understand the ladies' precarious position.  However you have no idea whether a particular hobbyist is one until you contact him.  And a lot of hobbyists are completely and totally crazy.

You see this is how some ladies might read this and why we need a tad more info. We all have various combinations of how we do this so a hobbyist telling US what should work best,  is well sweet at best...thank you for your personal insight.

Some will not provide any other info except "Yes I saw him and was okay" . Many of us use a few methods of screening, not just one.

I wish more ladies would be wiling to expand more on the guys, I will answer whatever questions are asked. Real life info does cut down on misbehavior let me tell you. Most of the guys on DNS sites are the ones that give no info that can be traced....so all they have to do is change email, phone and bullshit name and they move on to the next lady.

Then you get the guys that think it's bad that the ladies want more details about them passed on. Now you see why we do what we feel is right for us, and you guys certainly can do what's right for your level of comfort.

It will always exist, and so will screening for most of us. I personally do NOT require more than refs and a TER handle when I see men from out of town, but local guys who could know me or my family? Yea, they are providing the info. So many times guys assume the providers are the ones sharing their details, when in fact...it's them doing it! They use pillow talk time to gossip about other providers, where they live, what they do on the side, etc. all of which should never be discussed.

I know providers' real names all the way in LA, because of what a hobbyist felt was funny to spread around....no, i don't need to know all that shit! How many threads do we see about a GUY forgetting to erase his history? Leaving his phone out where the wife finds it? Posting on TER from his work computer? Yea, it is clear to me that many of them have no cause to worry about their info. being outed by a provider...many were stupid enough to take care of that for us.

You're correct that references are the only way to let us know how a guy is going to be whilst alone with us...his name and work info. will not do that.

Still, how many alerts do we see about guys who have references and solid ones? A ton. So, it is obvious that a guy can use his reputation to hurt us, in the same way many providers have also done. They guy who just wrote that fake review of me, has been a hobbyist for 10 years....didn't stop him, did it? If he can write a fake review, what else is he capable of? He has already proven to be a liar, and a cheat for VIP credit, so I doubt him being a rip off would be a stretch.

Real info. does not tell us how a guy will behave in the bedroom, but it DOES 99 percent assure us, unless he is a total idiot of course, that he is not going to get stupid knowing we have that recourse. When you screen a guy through only refs, what's our recourse if he robs us? Blacklist his handle? Big whoop. Put his fake email and phone number in the powder room? Again, big deal...he can simply change all those things and start over.

so have you met bob? they are like huh? um yes twenty . so i mean for screening sake it can get awfully hairy askin ladies if they know jim. or bob. as far as if i save or cyber stalk or whatve um i could care less, i use the form for screening only. I dont care where they work, hopwever if they have no other info i may try n see if i can google the work number n get some form of re assurance from an employement reference thats not l.e. . the work thing i d only care to check if they were lacking in the reference providers section.
in addition if they send me thier dc account ino, or p411 onfo, thats also more than enough to re assure me, for screening purposes, a dc account and some oks and i am ok with out the first n last, however if i am emailing providers personally or calling them,
i dont see any that accept just a first name bein run by, all i have encountered are not remebering you as tom or bob, hence they have seen oribly alot of "toms " or "bobs" soooo. in response to your butching on the info, theres my reasoning, for whgat its worht, if you had a preferred 411 id, on other hand, or dc account, i d totally accept thaT WITH OUT THE FIRST N LAST,  but i mean i dont know, i mean if some ones been reviewed for 2 years straight, u think they r gonna pull a maine zumba on u?
that girl i am sure wasnt reviewed. that did that, if you think any the escorts r like usin the first n last for anything other than to screen n have some re assuraNCE ON YOU, IT IS TOUGH TO RUN U BY LADIES VIA just a first name. u know.
me personally the work info only would be helpful if some one was like lacking in provider references n i am just trying to re assure myself one way or another they r not l.e.
i mean its not safe any way u slice it, i mean every escprt realizes they could get sliced diced n dropped off charles river in a bpdy bag any given day, realistically, most serial killers r actually kind and neghborly and unsuspecting, so whos to say they slay every 7th date? i mean no one cares about a murdered prostitute, itl go in paper missing dominatrix n no one will care trust n believe, so i mean if some one is tryn to like i do pretend i am re assuring kyself this is remotely safe which its totally not i mean whatver ritual these ladies do or voodoo dance pre waltzing into a hotel room, i mean if its gonna ease the jitters n fear a tad, then hey thats what the fuck they r askin for so. yeah definetly dont do it if its causing u to get uneasy on your end cuZ i mean we all just r doin this for fun so i mean if its gonna sketch u out then totally dont use those ladies that request that.
its a free cpuntry,

I guess having your real info is helpful to them if you misbehave and try hurt them they will have something to give LE not just a ter handle. If you go in a session with fake info you might be more likely to misbehave because you think you are untraceable.

to LE or psychos, so they put on their site that they need certain info but will really work with you.
It doesnt hurt to send the screening info you're comfortable w/. she might respond, otherwise just delete your email.
no harm done.

I guess it depends on the quality of the references and how much they're willing to say. I try to choose refs who know me well and have seen me for a long time. But I know that a lot of guys change handles and refs and play all kinds of sinister games to hide their bad behavior. I know the hell you ladies go through, I've heard stories from providers about these guys. Hell, I've had a few providers accuse me of having something to hide because I wouldn't give out my real info. Yeah, I'm hiding my real info, not bad behavior but she has no way of knowing. Some pass, others trust me based on my refs and reputation. I think providers who have been around for a long time have excellent back-channel info just like the guys do and I hope they make use of it to screen me. Some have rigid rules and others may be too lazy to put in the extra effort. Most have plenty of connections to find out what they need to know and those who use their connections end up "intersecting" with me (as crazyshit says).