so when I did get married, it wasn't so much a case of feeling guilty but just worried about getting caught, which happened after about 15 years, and so now I'm divorced and loving it.

I felt more guilty when I started to hobby, not out of hurting anyone but rather that I just couldn't seem to connect with women, so hobbying was all I had left.  In time however, I came to find peace with that.

Some providers, knowing that I am Bev Fisher's lover, won't see me because they like Bev and don't want to do anything to hurt her!

Likewise Bev tells me that some potential clients have refused to see her out deference to me, which is even crazier.

Both Bev and myself believe in polyamory, and have a bond that way transcends sex; which we look upon as a gift to be shared and enjoyed with all whom we wish to.

I got a call last night from an old friend. We had a nice chat for about half an hour. I remember him as someone who was very popular with women. As a good looking guy, he didn't have much problem getting laid in college. He did have a steady girl friend, and first time he cheated on her, he was devastated. He promised me, as I was his confidant, that he wouldn't cheat on her again and was feeling very guilty.

A couple of months passed by, and he cheated again. And with a different girl too.

When were done with college, we met each other after couple of years, at a social event, and he was now cheating regularly. Good for him. But I did notice that he had no remorse anymore. I guess he had just gotten used to cheating on his SO.

So for all you married folks, when you first saw a hooker, how did you feel? Were you OK with yourself cheating on your wife? Did you feel relieved or you couldn't look your wife/gf in the eye.  Some people hesitate to have eye contact when they have done something wrong. Me stealing cookies from the jar when I was five.

Not judging anyone here, as I don't believe in monogamy, and would fuck another woman in a heartbeat even if I were married or in relationship. But its one thing telling the world what you would do, and another thing having done it yourself.

Lets hear your stories...Lets go !!!

everyday hobbyist. Like your friend, most of them were new, never having cheated much less used a provider for it. For some, that was it and others the guilt was less and less as they would use the wrong done by the wife to justify it. I would imagine if a guy had a wife who was doing her best to try and please him whilst he was out fkin around, the guilt would be more severe than a guy who has a wife that has not touched him in years.

Even guys in the hobby have confessed they feel guilty when so called cheating on their atf with another provider..that to me, is fkin hilarious! They are actually more worried about hurting the ATF than the wife!

I have read quite a few mangina reviews from Johnny boys who say the girl was great, but they couldn't enjoy the session because they were thinking of their ATF.

Happens when people are looking for hobby to replace their marriage. No...its just meant to replace SEX in the marriage.

I hobbied a little before i got married, but i was always single and not seeing anyone when i did. I got married and never strayed, then my wife cheated, got in that huge argument about her cheating so I left, kinda knowing it was over and jumped on a plane and went to Vegas and saw a couple providers. When i got back i got divorced and never looked back. So i guess that is my closest to cheating i got and its not much. If i'm with someone, i'm faithful.

I have to admit I did feel guilty when I first started hobbying almost four years ago. But as time passed and the wife continued to opt out of sex more and more, I came to view her continuous rejection as a kind of excuse, if you will. By last year she was agreeing to sex maybe once every six months, so I just stopped asking. Now I hobby twice a month with nary a pang of guilt. I would equate her refusal to provide an acceptable level of sexual intimacy to, say, my deciding not to work anymore, so that the family becomes homeless and hungry.

But here is my question to other hobbyists: if you are hobbying because the SO won't do the deed, and she suddenly began to provide an acceptable level of intimacy, would you stop hobbying? I know I wouldn't- the horse is out of the barn already...

I know of several provider/hobbyist couples who have similar arrangements and are very happy.  I don't know if it would necessarily be right for me, but I think it's pretty cool

in college and I couldn't stand myself.  And I didn't even screw the gal....just a lot of heavy petting.  Would be faithful if I was with someone, but don't have any problems with people who aren't that way.  I just couldn't handle it mentally.  

I do find the stories about feeling guilty seeing someone other than an ATF off the charts hilarious.  Now those are people permanently on fantasy island.  LOL

Posted By: CurlyW

I got a call last night from an old friend. We had a nice chat for about half an hour. I remember him as someone who was very popular with women. As a good looking guy, he didn't have much problem getting laid in college. He did have a steady girl friend, and first time he cheated on her, he was devastated. He promised me, as I was his confidant, that he wouldn't cheat on her again and was feeling very guilty.

A couple of months passed by, and he cheated again. And with a different girl too.

When were done with college, we met each other after couple of years, at a social event, and he was now cheating regularly. Good for him. But I did notice that he had no remorse anymore. I guess he had just gotten used to cheating on his SO.

So for all you married folks, when you first saw a hooker, how did you feel? Were you OK with yourself cheating on your wife? Did you feel relieved or you couldn't look your wife/gf in the eye.  Some people hesitate to have eye contact when they have done something wrong. Me stealing cookies from the jar when I was five.

Not judging anyone here, as I don't believe in monogamy, and would fuck another woman in a heartbeat even if I were married or in relationship. But its one thing telling the world what you would do, and another thing having done it yourself.

Lets hear your stories...Lets go !!!

I actually met one in Australia years ago and i don't think we even consumated the act as I was hammered. Then about 10 years ago I use to go to Vegas quite a bit and waste my money in strip clubs. I got one of the girls to come back with me and we met several times after. She kept charging more and more until I said enough. Felt bad about it and didn't do anything until about 16 months ago. Discovered TER and now I guessIi'm a monger. And yes I do feel a bit guilty about it.

I can honestly say I would stop. Don't get me wrong I love the fun of the encounter in meeting new women, but really the only reason I'm doing this is for the sex.

When dinosaurs ruled the world

Well, maybe not quite that long ago...but nearly 35 years back was my first hooker experience.  Not married at the time, but the future wife was moving in with me right around then.  Off to Vegas for a little trip...asked the bell captain to send up someone blonde...$ 100 later I had my first hooker experience.  Yea...$ 100 with all the bells and whistles...and she was a HOTTIE (nope...no reviews back then either  LOL).

And I kept on playing for the next 35 years off and on.

And only recently have I actually thought twice in seeing anyone.

Must be Obamacare  LOL

She shoved her tits in my face. Then I remembered why I made the phone call in the first place and life has been good ever sense.

of my first escort encounter.... it was the olden days, when men were men, and the sheep were SCARED!  Before the internet, WWW, twitter, facebook, heck, even before "myspace!"  I went to a "massage and relaxation center!"  This incredible looking blond greated me, called the other masseusses into the "waiting room" and asked which I would like - I asked if she was available, she stated yup!  we went back to a private room... and she said it would be X for a massage - I figured that was all there was to it, nothing special as the rate was standard for a legit massage... I agreed, paid and she turned me over on my stomach - and proceeded to give me a massage (clothes were off me but not her).  after about 5 min she asked me to turn over, and proceeded to  massage my front!  Next- she has her face near my cock... then stops.... she offers that the massage is over!  by the look on my face she knew she had me... she asks if I would like to tip her, and that she found me  attractive, and would like to hang out with me..... off the clock... I say sure, whats a fair tip - to which she responds 2X... I fork it over, she askes me to sign a release stating that I received a massage for $X but whatever we did after, was our own business....  I lie back  down, and well, it was a pretty standard escort - hobbiest encounter - so you see, I had no time or reason to feel guilty - as I was not married, seeing anyone or anything else....  Ahhh, the good old days!

I've never been much of the "hobbyist" per se - perhaps until I parted ways with a provider who became very special to me, or rather she dumped me for getting too carried away with my emotions for her. But then, like I said, I wasn't a genuine hobbyist or a player even though I had been with several other providers in my adult life, so what did I know about P4P and never getting emotionally attached.

Before she came along, for my few other visits I did feel pangs of guilt on several occasions but had always rationalized my conduct by recalling how my wife had insulted/criticized/humiliated me and/or had withheld sex....and then, afterwards, I'd come home to a wonderful meal waiting for me on the table. Boy, did I feel like a heel. But more often, I'd think of cheating and would call around to different providers as the urge and the rationalization struck me. But, at the same time, I would pray for strength to resist the temptation to stray from my marriage vows to my wife. I would usually end up not liking the sound of a provider's voice (perhaps too gravelly, or as though she were high on drugs, or she sounded like a low-class street walker) and I would give up the idea for that evening. Or else I wouldn't be able to successfully get through to and contact a succession of providers I had set my sights on. I would feel like my prayers were answered that evening, that at least for that night I had successfully resisted temptation and sin once again. And then I would go home only to walk into a sh-tstorm with my wife over nothing. And then I felt like what a fool I was; I should have gone ahead and had my fun if I was to catch hell anyways. The next time I was with a provider I felt less and less guilty. And then I met the provider I now refer to as my (now former) ATF. I didn't feel guilty at all with my wife
for my times spent with my ATF. After al I had been through emotionally over the years, perhaps I was subconsciously
looking for a way to part ways with my wife. I had had both love and lust REALLY BAD with the ATF. I would have sold my soul for her. I could understand why Adam had bitten of the forbidden fruit when his beloved Eve had handed him the apple. It was that bad...Strangely, I couldn't force myself to see other providers even though I knew I was getting too emotionally involved

-- Modified on 11/14/2012 7:46:01 PM

Most providers will tell you, as will most women, that they especially hate cheaters and liars. Many providers are, themselves, divorced after having been lied to and cheated upon. Which makes it all the more hard to believe that they would then go on to work in a profession that subsists on lying and cheating by many if not most of its clientele! They are, themselves, complicit and culpable in encouraging and enabling other liars and cheaters. It's the height of hypocrisy, but then anything can be overlooked for money, for greed. We know we Johns are in the moral gutter, but then perhaps this is also why the term whore has such a pejorative meaning no matter how much our gals here try to sugarcoat it with such nice-sounding terms as provider and escort. Just saying...

I have a married friend and his wife always tells him you can fuck or have sex with another women just don't fall in love.   Sex is sex.  It's like masterbating but feeling better.  Making love and being in love is a different animal.

My two periods of playing this game were when I was separated.  I never cheated when I was fully in a relationship.  Now that I'm single again I plan to remain so and expect to party til I drop.

Just because hookers are not stupid enough to let you cheat for FREE, does not make us hypocrites...it makes us SMART! IF you want to cheat on your wife, by all means drop the cash, but don't tell me that just because I take part in YOUR affair that I also should lie to a man I choose to marry. Does not work that way. We don't enable shit...YOU are here looking for it honey. If you were not on this website or looking for hookers anywhere for that matter, you would not be affected by a damn thing we do. Nice justification though.

I will be the first to admit that I play a part, but you're crazy to think I give a shit if you or any other married man sees me or not. I did not put a gun to your head and tell you to lie did I? Did any other hooker? Alrighty then...deal with your own issues, but don't pass the buck on us. I could give two shits what you or anyone else does in your relationship, but you won't tell me that because you chose to break a vow that I must also break one. I did not promise your wife a damn thing...you did.

A hypocrite is defined as someone who preaches and puts down the very things they do...please show me where I broke a vow to MY mate. Show me where I said I would be faithful to that person and cheated or lied after doing so. You can't.  If I were cheating on my mate and calling him out for doing the same thing, you might have a point...not the case.

-- Modified on 11/15/2012 9:28:05 PM