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What's that old expression? "You can put
PenleyDuke See my TER Reviews 4708 reads
posted
1 / 50
Putting sugar on a piece of shit does not make it a brownie

For the Love of Pete learn how to take a fucking shower. Do not spray Polo on your balls and think I can't smell the funk.

Dr Who revived 642 reads
posted
2 / 50
Don't know who Pete is...

Why not just send him an email?

Sounds like he really likes you too!
Posted By: Aiobheann
For the Love of Pete learn how to take a fucking shower. Do not spray Polo on your balls and think I can't smell the funk.  
 

2648667 31 Reviews 693 reads
posted
3 / 50
LoL. Would old spice work any better? No, sorry you had to put up with that.

A gentleman always arrives freshly showered.

Your shit brownies analogy reminds me of another old saying.

"You can't take chicken shit and make chicken pie."

While we're on the subject of rants: PSA to any providers with fuzzy memory. When you set an appointment, write it the fuck down.

coeur-de-lion 400 Reviews 487 reads
posted
4 / 50
Never met a provider . . . .

who didn't like Polo, but of course, splashed on après douche.

JakeFromStateFarm 803 reads
posted
5 / 50
For the love of Patricia, stop wasting your time here.

If preaching to the choir makes you feel better, go for it sweety.  But when are you girls going to figure out that when you ventilate on TER you are talking to the guys who already get it and are not part of the problem. The guys who show up with BO and dingleberries don't read this board.
Suggestion:  just nicely ask your Johns to take a "quick rinse" on arrival. Put it in your web site. Problem solved.  Then you won't have to come here and whine.

LasVegan 618 reads
posted
6 / 50
What's that old expression? "You can put

lipstick (I know sense of sight NOT sense of smell) on a pig but it will still be a pig."

voyager-43 11 Reviews 556 reads
posted
7 / 50
re: sugar on a piece of shit does not make it a brownie.......

Is that an old Gaelic saying? because, I've never heard that one.  Slainte a luaidh

lopaw 29 Reviews 466 reads
posted
8 / 50
+1000 -e-


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Samois See my TER Reviews 799 reads
posted
9 / 50
I think the fact that you had enough presence of mind

to realize that you needed to camouflage something with fancy smelling cologne is a pretty good sign that you weren't clueless, you were just lazy.

Unless you have really short arms and just couldn't reach down there to wash better. If your arms really are that short, maybe you should save your money for surgery and prosthetics instead of dates and Polo cologne. In the long run, you would get laid a lot more often for a lot less investment if you went with fixing the problem instead of trying to distract from it. That's how it works with everything else. YMMV, of course.

ROGM 454 reads
posted
10 / 50
Not Showering Before You Play?

What the hell is wrong with some guys? Morons!

mrfisher 115 Reviews 603 reads
posted
11 / 50
Patron saint of penises. eom


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FreedaNipple 13 Reviews 624 reads
posted
12 / 50
It's hard to believe some guys still don't get it.

This day and age, I can't believe there are still people that don't realize how important it is to shower and have clean smelling balls before play time.. wow
But yea like Jake said, most likely it's guys that never read this board.

MatureGFE See my TER Reviews 612 reads
posted
13 / 50
Unfortunately there are guys here that don't get it! eom



-- Modified on 10/2/2016 4:22:55 AM

Han.Shot.First 392 reads
posted
14 / 50
Maybe she was just taking the lead of

The hobbyists who also whine in here about behaviors that are uncharacteristic of the ladies that post on and read these boards.

GaGambler 715 reads
posted
15 / 50
Actually what his point "should" have been

is that guys who need this advice are never going to think you are talking about them.

Coming on here whining about hygiene is NOT going to get the guys who have been on this planet for over half a century without learning how to wash their ass to read your post and suddenly think to themselves "Wow, I never thought about that, maybe I SHOULD start washing my stankin ass before getting naked with a woman?" Do you REALLY think anyone so clueless is going to change his behavior because of a board post?

BTW, although I am not a reviewer myself, nor does my board presence entitle me to a damn think, I find it rather amusing that you would come onto the board attacking the guys who pay your rent. Great marketing strategy. Maybe you too should try Twitter with the rest of the OTHFBC that hate TER so fucking much? I am sure they would love for you to join their ranks.

TrulyMsMocha See my TER Reviews 720 reads
posted
16 / 50
I can't find a proper 'I love this post' meme right now. But so much yaaaassss!-e-

Posted By: Cayden Vaughn
I've had plenty of TER reviewers and board posters show up expecting that their mileage wouldn't vary just because they are reviewers.  God, we should bend over backwards and hang from chandeliers for them because they'll ding us if we don't.  I'll tell you something, the funk comes from here, it comes from BP, it comes from Eros, it comes from P411. There's a well known reviewer from my area whose dingleberries are legendary which is the single most reason I never met the guy.  Kitty litter breath, BO, swamp balls and more are here just as much as they are anywhere.  
   
 Oh and asking a client to take a quick rinse means he's going to jump in the water and jump back out without the benefit of soap and a washcloth.  That leaves you with the same issue but now the wet dog smell since so many men can't seem to figure out how to properly dry themselves with the towels provided. It is on my website and I still have clients from here, there, and everywhere showing up thinking that the shower they took 8 hours prior was good enough.  
   
 I'm sure your response will be to attack me and I don't care.  The thought that somehow TER guys are immune from bad hygiene is ridiculous.  It is not preaching to the choir, it's a god damn public service announcement. If any client is too dimwitted to realize that taking a shower and using soap is to his benefit then it's on him if his service was only so so instead of spectacular.  I'm done jumping through hoops like some stupid show dog just because someone is a TER reviewer.  You show up with any of the afflictions I mentioned earlier and your mileage will definitely vary, scores be damned.

TrulyMsMocha See my TER Reviews 792 reads
posted
17 / 50
Sometimes it's not even that. I've had guys look/smell super fresh just to find out...

...they had a shitty/leaky butt after they scoot up on my crispy white sheets.  
Sometimes it doesn't hit the air until it rubs the sheets. This one guy bless his heart his undies were even spotless when he took them off but when he got on the bed it was just a "lovely" long smear and the funk hit the air.  
I always have a spare set or 2 of my own sheets (and at least 2 bottles of Febreze) when I have incall and needless to say he had to hit the shower again to clean his poopy butt.  

The rest of him was so clean though....it's weird.  
So....sometimes lack of shower isn't the issue but probably anal leakage too.

-- Modified on 10/2/2016 3:14:30 PM

SoftlySarah See my TER Reviews 603 reads
posted
18 / 50
So timely and apropos, from Tits and Sass...


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Related Link: Sex Workers Are Tired of Your Literal Shit

TrulyMsMocha See my TER Reviews 636 reads
posted
19 / 50
Not just the balls/nuts but your ass too. I've had enough of clean nuts with musty butts lol.-e-


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20strojl 13 Reviews 667 reads
posted
20 / 50
Re: Sometimes it's not even that. I've had guys look/smell super fresh just to find out...

I`m a male newbie and wondering if I would score points with my provider if I`m totally "landscaped" down below? I want to make a real good impression with this 8-9 rated gal that I`m seeing soon. Does this matter with you ladies?

TrulyMsMocha See my TER Reviews 559 reads
posted
21 / 50
It would with me lol. Maybe just casually ask the lady in question how she personally feels.-e-


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GaGambler 510 reads
posted
22 / 50
You are quite welcome. eom


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dancebbq09 130 Reviews 730 reads
posted
23 / 50
hey providers do it too! forget showering. can providers take a crap before seeeing customers!!

this one chick sat on my face so i can lick her pussy and then she was moving her hips back and forth so i can lick her pussy from top to bottom and one time got her ass crack to my face and BARFO rama!!  smelled like something died!! almost puked and gagged that i just licked and smelled shit!!!

laides empty your bowels please before starting your work day!

JakeFromStateFarm 533 reads
posted
24 / 50
Good grief! Angry much?

1) Who said ANYTHING about reviewers?  Lots of members here don't review.  Only TER can say what percentage of members review vs. just post or even simply lurk.  So be careful about assumptions.
2) You are also reading WAY too much into my phrase "quick rinse."  But at least I can understand that so I'll explain that I mean jumping into the shower and washing your torso with soap and water, with particular attention to your cock, balls and ass.  This can be done in only a couple of minutes.  Hence, "quick rinse," while not to be taken literally, is generally taken to mean the above.  Not sure how you missed this.  Also, this is actually a phrase I learned from you girls (As in "How about a quick rinse, honey?").
3) Why would you assume I would attack you?  If you consider the above an attack, well, best of luck.  And, good lord, who suggested you jump "through hoops like some stupid show dog just because someone is a TER reviewer?"  Wow! Please take a deep breath.

-- Modified on 10/2/2016 6:54:55 PM

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 688 reads
posted
25 / 50
Bad Hygiene - I just make that our last date and call it a day.

I just don't feel like talking to a grown man like he is a child. I would hope someone would know to take care of their hygiene when booking a date, and I can't process why someone would not want to be clean when they are getting a piece of ass. smh

-- Modified on 10/2/2016 6:46:26 PM

Jstgttnstrtd 18 Reviews 398 reads
posted
26 / 50
How about creative problem-solving?

If this is a truly a big problem, then why not make a fun shower WITH the gent be a standard part of the date before the fun begins (like it is with many of my lovely Thai friends)?

I get the frustration, just like I do when my employees complain about various things or other people.  But what I REALLY like is when they stop whining and pining for a reality that doesn't exist, but rather figure out the best way to deal with current circumstances.  Hey, if X% of guys are just dirty pigs (just for the record, not me), then if you figure out a way to deal with that with grace and a smile then that puts you at the top IMO.

And yeah, a guy showing up with dingle berries is a repulsive thought.  Nasty.  But nothing a fun little scrub in the shower can't handle I would think.  Granted, you've taken a lot if care in how you dressed, and your hair, etc., but to me I would think dingle berry concerns would trump any downside concerns about a different routine.

Jstgttnstrtd 18 Reviews 445 reads
posted
27 / 50
That is NASTY. Remember that show Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe?

Sounds like some of these dates you ladies have had would make for a good episode!
Or at least be ripe for a funny-as-hell parody!

Debra_Hollander See my TER Reviews 523 reads
posted
28 / 50
Actually, doll, venting here CAN send a subtle message....

Quite a few of my clients read EVERY. DAMN. POST. I write.    

Occasionally, I have mentioned that someone is a spastic lover, or smells like urine, or whatever-the-case-may-be and you know what?

At least a half dozen guys will either contact me, fretfully asking if I was referring to THEM; or they'll ask in person the next time we meet.

So if I were possessed of a passive-aggressive nature, then "whining" about an issue I have with one of these guys would indeed be a great way to get through to him.  ;-

camote16 34 Reviews 472 reads
posted
29 / 50
I wanna smell so nice

I wash it all twice. Mileage tends to go up

JakeFromStateFarm 464 reads
posted
30 / 50
I actually am really sorry you're so angry.

It drips from everything you write.  And just for the record, I disagree with almost everything you said, not because it's all wrong but because you're twisting the intent of my words.  It seems to me you've been in this business too long.  Peace to you, too.

JakeFromStateFarm 462 reads
posted
31 / 50
I'm sure you weren't intending to respond to GaG that way.

No one has ever called him "doll" before.  I can only assume you didn't intend to either.  At least I hope not. LOL!

Debra_Hollander See my TER Reviews 682 reads
posted
32 / 50
So we all have to do an enema prior to seeing clients?

Even when we're NOT doing Greek?  That's a new one on me.  

That's pretty time consuming, you know.   I suppose I'll have to have a lil' chat with my bowels, because they're typically not in the habit of emptying on command.  

Unless you somehow specifically communicate with the lady that you intend to DATO or TUYA or whatever....... I think expecting her to have that area completely vacant & clean is a bit unrealistic.  ;-)

JakeFromStateFarm 459 reads
posted
33 / 50
Somehow the K-Girls manage this.

It's SOP in any Korean house for the girl to lead her date into the shower and clean him thoroughly.  It seems to work for the girls and their tricks.  And they barely speak English.

Jstgttnstrtd 18 Reviews 647 reads
posted
34 / 50
Re: Some ladies look adorable wet

Don't sell yourself short - I'm sure you look great wet!  Nothing sexier to me than a naked woman with wet, glistening skin.  I love the playful showers, but I fully understand your take on this.  Heck, even for a regular legit massage I make sure I am clean from head to toe, so it hard for me to understand why some would think this isn't important before engaging in all the intimate acts.  Is it cluelessness?  Or perhaps it's a feeling of entitlement ("hey, I paid, now you provide the service")?

MatureGFE See my TER Reviews 504 reads
posted
35 / 50
Can you at least post a Stank Face meme?

Don't make me beg...

;-)

Steph xoxo

Debra_Hollander See my TER Reviews 285 reads
posted
36 / 50
Completely intentional. ~eom~


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Sidney Starr See my TER Reviews 513 reads
posted
37 / 50
Re: For the love of Patricia, stop wasting your time here.

Posted By: JakeFromStateFarm
If preaching to the choir makes you feel better, go for it sweety.  But when are you girls going to figure out that when you ventilate on TER you are talking to the guys who already get it and are not part of the problem. The guys who show up with BO and dingleberries don't read this board.  
 Suggestion:  just nicely ask your Johns to take a "quick rinse" on arrival. Put it in your web site. Problem solved.  Then you won't have to come here and whine.
   Those guys with BO and dingleberries as you said are also on these boards. The awesome guys and the not so awesome guys are both on and off these boards. I would never say who but not sure why you think they aren't on the boards? Even when reading these posts some don't get it, are not self aware and some just don't care.

  I have politely asked some clients to take a shower before, and some I grab a towel to clean them up. There is always a nice way to go about things. And I take great care in my hygiene before and after an appointment,  I expect everyone too. Clients and providers alike!

TrulyMsMocha See my TER Reviews 872 reads
posted
38 / 50
Cayden your posts on this have been awesome sauce. And 40 people on your 1st reply agree.-e-


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TrulyMsMocha See my TER Reviews 438 reads
posted
39 / 50
Dirty Jobs yeah i've seen a few episodes. And speaking of ripe lol well ...

What happened is a bit funny now but the memory is still a bit cringe and dry heave inducing.
A parody in this case might be a little traumatizing though lol.

-- Modified on 10/3/2016 10:33:27 AM

TrulyMsMocha See my TER Reviews 379 reads
posted
40 / 50
This pic is a nice mix of side-eye and stank face ...

... good? lol

GaGambler 578 reads
posted
41 / 50
Hi there "voice of reason"

What's worse than talking to a grown ass man like he is a child? (even if he is)  

Talking to an entire board of men like they are children.  

Threads like this really show which hookers like their jobs, and which ones can barely tolerate it, but do so because of the money.  

Board posts are like TER scores, high scores won't entice me to see a provider, but low scores will disqualify her. Board personality alone will not get me to book with a woman I don't find attractive, but BSC or MHB behavior will DEFINITELY get a hooker on my "must miss list" as will constant whining about how much she dislikes her clients.  Does anyone really want to fuck a hooker who hates her job and makes no secret that she detests her clients? Great marketing move ladies.  

BTW I have PAID to see a few hookers over the years who also didn't know the first thing about personal hygiene, but to date I haven't felt the need to come on the board and whine to the whole community about how hookers don't know how to wash their twats. Like you, I simply make it my LAST date with that woman and "call it a day" Tomorrow is another day.

MatureGFE See my TER Reviews 418 reads
posted
42 / 50
Thank you!!! eom


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Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 599 reads
posted
43 / 50
Gambler, Gambler, Gambler - I would not say that if I dealt with this on a regular basis.

I am extremely fortunate to very rarely deal with this issue, and I believe this is because during the screening process, I can tell when someone is considerate of the current status in our "relationship".  

Which, upon first contact, it is non existent until mutual respect is established. No idea how to explain the process, but I'm learning washing of the body parts you expect someone to ravish with hopeless abandon should be pleasant to put your mouth and nose on. That's simple respect.

I feel my posts are pretty cut and dry, pretty equal, and most definitely not aimed at every person reading them. They are just my input. And I am being honest - I tend to maintain long lasting, regular people who remain regulars because things like this is  

Now, you say "I have PAID to see a few hookers over the years who also didn't know the first thing about personal hygiene" (a tad out of context but...) you know as well as anybody on this board, that having trouble with a few does not equate to the majority you have seen. You say a few, but we all know that you admit to having a very large sample to go by lol!

One reason I try not to "vent" about hygiene - is because I have very little problem with it with the people I see. This is not a bragging, or anything - it is very true - and I think a lot of that has to do with simple respect.  

There are some issues such as health stuff that you know a "scent" is different than the lack of hygiene however, and that's not what I'm talking about. BUT - again, I don't deal with it, or bitch about it - I just simply am conveniently unavailable. I'm sorry - I'm not going to teach a grown man to wash his nut sack, I just can't bring myself to do it. lol
 
Posted By: GaGambler
What's worse than talking to a grown ass man like he is a child? (even if he is)  
   
 Talking to an entire board of men like they are children.  
   
 Threads like this really show which hookers like their jobs, and which ones can barely tolerate it, but do so because of the money.  
   
 Board posts are like TER scores, high scores won't entice me to see a provider, but low scores will disqualify her. Board personality alone will not get me to book with a woman I don't find attractive, but BSC or MHB behavior will DEFINITELY get a hooker on my "must miss list" as will constant whining about how much she dislikes her clients.  Does anyone really want to fuck a hooker who hates her job and makes no secret that she detests her clients? Great marketing move ladies.  
   
 BTW I have PAID to see a few hookers over the years who also didn't know the first thing about personal hygiene, but to date I haven't felt the need to come on the board and whine to the whole community about how hookers don't know how to wash their twats. Like you, I simply make it my LAST date with that woman and "call it a day" Tomorrow is another day.
-- Modified on 10/3/2016 1:05:08 PM

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 635 reads
posted
44 / 50
P.S. I like my job - and I don't think this post was directed at my post

specifically - but I like my job, and part of the reason for that is that guys wash their nut sacks. And if they don't it's only a one time deal. lol!

I would like to take this as an open door to say "Thank you guys, for washing your nut sacks, your butt cracks, and for making your body a non-hostile, and pleasant place to "work" lol!"

-- Modified on 10/3/2016 1:51:05 PM

GaGambler 722 reads
posted
45 / 50
I have to agree, trying to "retrain" a grown man who doesn't know how to wash his ass

That just seems like an incredible waste of time and energy. Do some women REALLY think they can retrain a man who after 50+ years hasn't learned how to wash his own ass, especially when something as important as pussy is on the line?

and no, like you a "few" out of the number of hookers I have seen over 40+ plus years is hardly a "problem" It's kind of disgusting when it happens, but my cure is to leave early and find some other woman who is super squeaky clean and tastes that way to put the skank right out of my mind.

Why is it that "some" hookers, like "some" johns just seem to have huge problems whereas the rest of us seem to go about our business here, have a great time  and rarely if ever run into the same problems that these other people seem to have on a daily basis? If so many of us do NOT run into these problems, wouldn't it make sense for these people who are having problems to look inward for the solution as it sounds like they are doing something to attract these kind of people if so many others never seem to have these very same problems.

Or I suppose, some people just like to whine on the internet. personally I have whiners and when a provider starts looking like a serial whiner, I lose all desire to schedule with her.

GaGambler 688 reads
posted
46 / 50
I think the MHB's should take a page from your book

Posts like yours are what makes guys WANT to come fuck you, Does anyone really read the rants by these whiny hookers and think to themselves "Yeah, I want me some of that whiny bitch!!!"??? lol

If I wanted to listen to some whiny bitch ranting about how horrible her customers are, I'd go get married again. And I can't imagine that the married guys who have a whiny bitch of their own waiting for them want some other bitch nagging at them too, especially not at several hundred bucks an hour.

GaGambler 723 reads
posted
47 / 50
OK, there is a MHB way of dealing with this, there a BSC way, and there is the "right" way

Thank you for choosing door number three. lol

Yes, being a TER member doesn't make a guy the perfect john, actually it sometimes seems to have the opposite effect as "some" TER members are a bit (or more than a bit) entitled kind of like Yelp reviewers on steroids. lol but yes there is a "nice" way to do things, thank you for choosing the nice way.

BTW, no one has accused me of being "nice" lately, but then again, I don't make my living at this, I can afford to be "not nice" much of the time. lol and although I am not "nice" I do try to be fair.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 657 reads
posted
48 / 50
O lord. You know I'm not trying to throw anyone under the bus

My initial response was to put my spin on dealing with these men. They do exist. I remember di-"stink"-ly the day I decided I decided this problem was not going to be a part of my repoirtere. The guy showered but obviously didn't wash his butt crack. It just came out and he was asking me to lick his butthole. Which that was the day I decided rimming was off the mdnu. Lol!

It was so bad, it took me three days until I could work again. Three days of showers three times per day.  

The guy was a last minute guy, middle of the night, and he shorted me a whole hours of pay. (I didn't count beforehand back in the day too)

I felt judgmental and bad for it until I counted the envelope. That was the day I realized it has to do with respect. And part of that is self respect. I.e. "You should accept me as I am" is disrespect to one's self. Which translates to disrespect to others.  

But I definitely want to express that my intent isn't to rip on ppl who encounter this. I admire women who have that kind of patience. I do not have that kind of patience. But what you say is true. When it comes to attracting who we attract, it's on us. It's our responsibility to do what we need to do to eliminate clientele we don't want. And we can! Same with benefactors. (Love bugs).  

I simply don't. This is the only place I get ass. Lol. Clean ass is good.  

Definition of insanity is....
Posted By: GaGambler
Posts like yours are what makes guys WANT to come fuck you, Does anyone really read the rants by these whiny hookers and think to themselves "Yeah, I want me some of that whiny bitch!!!"??? lol  
   
 If I wanted to listen to some whiny bitch ranting about how horrible her customers are, I'd go get married again. And I can't imagine that the married guys who have a whiny bitch of their own waiting for them want some other bitch nagging at them too, especially not at several hundred bucks an hour.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 570 reads
posted
49 / 50
I want to write a song called "Gambler, Gambler"

Not 100% sure why.  

Is there good money in Georgia? Lol!!

JakeFromStateFarm 342 reads
posted
50 / 50
"awesome sauce?" What are you, 15? eom


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