It means next to nothing unless you let it evade your conscience. Think of it as her loss. Sure, she might give your name and phone number to some of her cronies, but there are too many fish in the sea to worry about this prima donna. I wouldn't spend another brain cell on these types of providers.

I wouldn't worry about. Ask yourself this, if a provider won't see you because your name is on some blacklist for the reason stated above, would you even want to see that provider in the first place? I suspect the only providers that you will have trouble seeing are the jaded ones who you would've have wanted to see in the first place.

Unfortunately, there is a big problem of ladies blacklisting guys for any number of very petty reasons. If you have a lot of very good references for reputable ladies it shouldn't be too big of a deal.

Because of the fact that I know how trigger happy bitches can be when it comes to blacklisting someone for something stupid, I for one make my own decisions when it comes to choosing to see someone. There has been many a time a gentleman's name has come up on one of the blacklist sites while I'm doing my screening. And many times its been for something petty, so I take that into evaluation along with whether I've gotten legitimate references back on him, and whether the rest of my screening checks out, and go from there. No problems so far.

Fuck, one of my dearest friends/clients is on a couple of the blacklist sites, for something petty that I don't believe anyway. And this is someone that I speak to every day, and regularly go on trips with.

So I wouldn't worry too much. The ladies can make their own decisions about whether to see you. If you have good references otherwise, it shouldn't be a big deal. Especially as we take into account as well what lady blacklisted you. If its someone that seems shady, flaky, new, bad rep, etc then its not taken as seriously.

Good luck!

He should be sharing her name so the rest of us can avoid her.
She sounds like a total bitch. You don't reward bitchiness.

Anyone that would put you on a black list for such an offense, has snitch blood running through their veins. Beware

I had scheduled two appointments with a provider that had to be canceled. Both were canceled well in advance for good reasons. And after the second cancellation, she sent me a very hostile e-mail and said she was blacklisting me. I have multiple provider references and very good ones at that, so I am not some kind of flake. Nevertheless, what does this entail?

Thank you for the reply, sir. I will be more careful with my appointments in the future to ensure this does not happen, and I will try to be more selective of the ladies I intend to meet. At least I know now that if I had met her, it would have probably been a bad experience given her attitude.

had canceled either same day or less...


For some women that can really mess up their time. But if you canceled before that, I can not understand being blacklisted? Things happen. Life happens. I know it has with me.
The only thing I can think of is that she thought you were setting appts with no intention of seeing her after the 2 canceled appt. BUT then again, if you were doing that, it seems you would have canceled with very little notice, not with enough notice for her to find alternate arrangements.

I am sorry that happened to you

Love, Lust, and Licks!
Caitlyn

I tried to set up an appointment once and the provider said my phone number was blacklisted as LE. I texted her a few times. She said she did not think I would be a problem, but she was too freaked out now to see me. I think I was blacklisted by someone I gave a bad (yet honest) review on. This happened 6 months ago and that was the last I heard about it. I have been seeing quite a few ladies since then and none of them have mentioned it. So I would not worry about it.

I have this one lawyer who always make an appt with me knowing that I don't get regular incall in my hometown but I did provide before realizing I wanted to live here.  He cancels out due to his profession so he compensates me for the room the next time he sees me.  I try to always see an extra client when I do get incall but this lawyer has asked me to get a room on some rainy days at times.

Funny how the direction that the cash is traveling impacts your perspective.  You don't want to reward bitchy behavior but she thinks it makes perfect sense.  Hmmm.

Some providers go way over board with this. It is there loss, I wouldn't worry about it. It should mean anything unless you make it mean something.

I agree!!

Blacklists should not be taken lightly, that provider should not have blacklisted you for cancelling....That's just pathetic....Sorry it happened to you!

Val

That would mean free sex for hobbyist when a provider is no show. If retroactive, I would never have to pay again.

I was chatting yesterday with a girl who runs an agency, but also takes clients as an indy herself.  She had a guy book with her, and she booked a hotel room as a result.  Then he found out she was connected to an agency, claimed it was a B&S (having never met her) and cancelled.

The girl is legit.  The agency is legit, and they guy just freaked for no good reason.

She said she was gonna tell him to pay for the session or she'd blacklist him.  I don't know how it ended.

Is that any more or less justified?

I am not saying any of it is right or wrong.  Just pointing out that we are only getting once side of the story, and people advising this guy to "out the girl" or whatever is overkill.

Blacklists are a key tool in keeping a lady safe from the bad things in the hobby, and to abuse it over something small makes her dangerous and to be avoided. Especially if she used his real information like his name on a public blacklist site like Nationalblacklist.com which will show up if someone Googled his information and out him as a hobbyist. That depending on his situation could end very poorly for him. This kind of misbehaver hurts everyone provider and hobbyist alike. And to think some ladies wonder why so guys don't want to give there real name.

The lady talked about in the OP is a bitch if the OP is reporting the whole truth of the story. You don't reward bad behaver, you warn others.

Hirogen, I hate agreeing with you lets not make a habit of it.

In business customers change there mind all the time and the business takes the hit it is a cost of being in business. Unless there is a prearranged and agreed upon penalty for a cancellation it is like a customer walking out of a cafe for any reason with out paying after ordering but before getting the food. It sucks but the cafe has no claim even if they started cooking the food. Just like the hobbyist has no claim when the lady is the no show after booking a room. Losses happen especially in business.

Abuse of blacklist sites to report minor things like cancellations is dangerous especially the public blacklist sites. It hurts hobbyists as they risk getting outed. It hurts providers as hobbyists are less likely to share traceable screening information like his real name for fear of being outed on a potentially public blacklist.

simply by googling your name and phone number, if it does show up, that means that other people who know you may find that you are seeing providers, maybe just by googling you.  My brother told me he googled me once for kicks, was a great conversation, nothing bad.

Assuming your version is accurate... I'd be curious to know how much notice you gave her for cancelling, and her situation. Was she travelling on tour from elsewhere? Did she incur expenses as a result of your appointment? All these things impact your responsibilities and her responses.

I am much less concerned about cancelling on a local provider with several days notice, and especially an agency. Same day cancellations (for pre-booked appointments) are a tougher call. For travelling ladies it is also a tough call. If she came to see you specifically, then we have a whole different ball of wax.

Still, blacklisting just for cancelling an appointment is pretty harsh. It makes me wonder if there were other circumstances. Of course, she may also mean her personal blacklist, as in she won't ever book you again, as in a personal DNS list. Very different from an online blacklist.

Will screen you and see you are blacklisted and NOT see you.  It may just screw you over big time.  

Here are some questions to ask yourself to avoid this in the future and to help explain her reaction.

1. Did she book the accommodations specifically for you and therefore couldn't recoup the loss?
2. Follow up: Did you KNOW (or request) that she secure the accommodations specifically for you?
3. What is your definition of "canceled well in advance?"  30 minutes, 60 minutes, or the day before?
4. Follow up: Did she or her website discuss cancellation protocol?
5. Did you book and cancel all within a very short period. A classic "time waster" maneuver.

The answers to these questions might help you understand why she sent the email.  In the end, respect begats respect and there are more fish in the sea.  Hobby on!

I am sorry you are in this position and I do hope she doesn't.  Keep googling your name and phone number to see if it shows up. If it doesn't your fine...

There's a right way and a wrong way to handle this situation. If she does this on a private level you will not have a problem nor will others even care if as you say you have great references.  To scar a man's identity for all to see is " wrong " unless he is a physical danger to all of us ladies.

Kisses Haley

Unfortunately public blacklists are full of outed men for reasons other then he is LE, a robber, physically dangerous or the like. Ladies who do such are dangerous. I use me wifes accounts on the public blacklist sites to screen out such ladies. I will not see them. I keep my quite about the ladies who blacklist for dumb reasons on public blacklist sites only out of respect for my wifes standing.

I think those ladies hurt both hobbyists and providers. Ladies that out guys for small stuff is the main reason many potentially good clients are afraid to give traceable screening information like their full real names. Time wasters are annoying and can even cost a lady money but it is not a good reason to destroy a guy.

I completely agree haley.... To scar a rep over a cancellation that most likely was given plenty of time ahead, is wrong...

Black lists should be for dangerous guys or guys who rip girls off etc

-- Modified on 1/22/2011 1:01:35 PM

I can see compensation if the provider books a room for specific hobbyst as is your case. Well in advance cancellation does not require compensation since the provider hasn't incurred any expense just because of the hobbyst. I never heard or experienced providers compensating hobbysts for cancellation at the last moment. Why is that?

Why??

I mean, if it's out there, shouldn't you want to know?

Is there any reason NOT to?

Please explain

xxx
Jinni

You got that part right! I am a provider and I can tell you first hand that there is no sacred black book floating around with your name in it. This is a tactic that some use for intimidation, but it means nothing. If a guy doesn't keep his appointment, a real provider would know better than to make such a bogus threat; just mark his # on your phone so that when he calls you know who it is and from there you just pick up, then immediateley hang up so that they can't leave a message. No threats necessary.

that cancelled 2 hours before our appointment!  I had told several of my regulars I was not available to see this guy and went shopping for an outfit HE requested. Needless to say I was upset! Even so I wouldnt blacklist him. I did however tell him because I actually LOST money that a cancellation fee would be nice but ofcoarse that wont happen!  This man was suppose to be on a flight down here and cancelled 2 hours before? He never even made it here at all! So IMHO I think this guy was just full of shit to begin with. I do think it depends on the situation though. If the provider has put out money then yes compensate her for the money she spent. A blacklist can be VERY serious though and should not be taken lightly. I have never blacklisted anyone as I do see how serious it can be. BTW this guy had good references but he canceled at the last minute. If he had a a good reason I could have understood but he had a lame excuse and at last minute. I appreciate when a gentleman has enough respect to atleast cancel well in advance versus a NCNS or last minute.
Hugs and kisses
TL