What I'd really like to know is if anyone has ever injured themselves while doing the deed, hobby or in RL....

...Heaven forbid - an STD.

Both IRL and here in this world.  It does make for some very funny and memorable moments.

I also occasionally get terrible "sex headaches" afterwards...I keep meaning to keep a bottle of headache medicine in my purse but always forget to...other than that a few years ago I hooked up with a friend and he bit my shoulder so hard that I still have a faint scar.

then gashed my ankle on a sharp edge.  

and a few falls (from bed and other furniture) while doing the deed, my only injury has been the occasional one to my pride.  

I bet that is why so many read my post ha ha. Just to see what I was saying was burning! I did it on purpose, by the way, to get everyone's attention so they'd read and participate.

When you get old, you'll start falling off the bed, you'll get cramps during sex, and hurt your elbow masturbating, so don't listen to GaG.  You'll know yourself when you get there.  

Not that I am denying that I did, it's just that I am a bit senile too and don't remember everything I say here. lol

Uh.... yeah that all has already happened.

I am not into skinny types. I had that happen before with skinny guys. That hurts!

Has this ever happen to anyone..    Any ladies ever wanted to do this to a guy ?

-- Modified on 5/12/2017 10:11:45 AM

Turning an ankle walking to an in call hotel. If I had iced it down immediately I would have been ok. But didn't and the thing swelled.

Ive actually had to punch a guy in the face..he got on top of me...then he slapped me and spit in my face...i was so shocked..i instinctivly punched him..happened so quick..but anyways that was the day i discovered how strong i was...now im in boxing ,turns out im a natural

We should try to make that happen some day.

I'm sure almost all of the ladies have wanted to do that at some time or other.
And of course some dom's make good money doing just that

Though I must warn you all I've been kicked out of a strip club 3 times already...with this crew I'm almost counting on a fourth.

And she wasn't smiling....I can say that I didn't deserve back then, but looking back, Yeah I would have kicked my ass.

About twenty of us went to a strip club right after a M&G ended and I was "sucking face" with one of the hookers I had met that night at the party. I took a breather to take a sip of my drink and the next thing you know the girl I was making out with had her face buried between the legs of one of the dancers. Security frowned on that type of thing for some reason and kicked us all out, but it was a night to remember and got even better after the strip club.

Sure, why not? I can handle the "surprises" that may come our way (well, depends on attraction).  

...during playtime.

I was in houston with some buddies. Went to a strip club and was getting a very aggressive lap dance ehen I  felt a pop down there. Went to the bathroom  and my cock was black with blood. Funny. I got home from the trip and had no problem hiding it from my ex.

I had a favorite SB/Hooker ( I know what's the difference). I used to spends nights at her place, I even had some of my clothes there, so yes we had a "thing".
So I took off to Vegas for a few nights and I didn't tell her, maybe I should have but..................
Well the day I was coming back is the night she wanted to have dinner. Now it usually takes me a few days to recover from Vegas, if ya know what I mean. After dinner that night while we're having our fun, she sensed something wasn't right. I could tell by her look, she had that ,"Hum, what's going on here" look. After I went to freshen up, she found my phone and saw a message from a girl I was with while in Vegas. She acted like she didn't see it but she quizzed me on how's work been the past few days and of course I said that I've been busy and then voila, she show me the message and as I tried to calm her down....POW, a wicked right hand to the kisser! A shot that would have made Mike Tyson proud. Needless to say I didn't stick around and drove my sorry ass home. Things were never the same and a few weeks later, she told me to get my shit out of here......She was right and I didn't blame her at all.

We were trying this weird position where I had to lift her in a certain way. Now she was 5'4, 115 lbs so I don't think that's "spinner" category. But as I lifted her, it was fun till I felt a "snap" in my groin. Next day, the area was black and blue. Doc say it's a hernia. Happen in 2002, had it fix in 2012. Every time I see the scare, a smile comes to my face...she was fun.

Now lemme get this straight.  She was a SB/Hooker but she had the right to be mad at you for getting some strange on the side?  Am I missing something?

have sore legs for a few days after one of my long masturbation sessions  Or sometimes my abs are sore from all the contracting after a lot of orgasms - especially a long DATY session. It's sooooo worth it though! A great reminder of a fun and sexy workout

Do you know why they give 100 mg Viagra to old guys at bedtime in a nursing home?

I once asked a girl to give me a BBBJ.  She said that she only gave a CBJ.  I told her that I had a strong preference for BBBJs because I usually couldn't feel anything when a girl gave me a CBJ.  But I didn't pressure her to give me a BBBJ.  When she put the rubber on and went down on me it felt like she was chewing on my cock.  I had two little red/black dots on the tip of my cock from her teeth for a few weeks.  And I was inoperable for about a week or two.  

Where a girl wearing braces was giving me a BBBJ, got carried away, and cut the skin on Mr. Johnson.  The last time, somewhat recently, I jerked when it happened and caused another cut in a second place.  Blood was everywhere.  Both times, I had to stop the session and leave.  Both girls offered a full refund, but I only took half, and both asked me not to put it in a review or tell anyone, so don't ask for the names.  Kept me out of the game for 10-14 days.  I have decided not to see any more girls who wear braces.

That can come up in a strip club that can't be fixed with a little cash.  At least that's the way I remember it.  Its been a few years.  Lol

And the context of the message. Plus her daughter never liked me and had warned her about me. But there's more, I got no beef with it.

Picked up the bartender's girlfriend at my favorite bat one night. We went to her place and as I sat on the floor against the wall, she moved towards me and I grabbed her arms and pulled her towards me ... and slammed her face first against the wall. Let's just say that did not deter her from fucking my brains out  

the revelation that you actually have real orgasms, although maybe you had those orgasms in your civie life because I was always of the impression that most of you girls in the biz are only faking it to create some kind of fantasy for the client. Perhaps the source of your abdominal pain is due to the size of the dicks I know you must take on the daily as well as the force at which he thrusts his way into you.

It can be very 'lib'erating, and put you in the proper mindset to let go.  Looks like a lot of tension was released.   Next time you'll probably lose track of time as well.

Rushing from my couch in the living room to the bedroom with a hot, new provider that I really liked. I stubbed my bare toe on the corner leg of the couch an heard a "Crack"
I went on to the bed and continued as best as I could (it hurt like a bitch and was distracting so I didn't "finish") However, I really liked the provider and I didn't mention the toe until much later. Now I have a crooked toe and I try not to go barefoot.

So have you ever injured yourself?

One provider was so delicious, and enjoyed DATY so vigorously, that the pressure of her pubic bone on my teeth cut my upper lip inside.  Took a week to heal.  
And I never got around to fucking her, between her luscious blowjobs and her enthusiastic responses to cunnilingus.  What a woman!  

One evening, when I was standing behind her caressing her fruit (melons and peach?), I asked for the 10th time if she let me eat her pussy, hoping she'd give it up. Instead, she spun around and bit me on the nose so fucking hard, I thought I was bleeding.

especially one with a taut nipple. Ummmm.

It's a great wake me up. And seeing that I'm a lover and not a fighter, (I've never and would never hit a woman), I have taken a few good smacks to the side of the head in a BDSM session or two.  
Just gets the adrenaline going and puts a smile on my face.  
Packing down a scrum with a few beautiful ladies is so much fun.  
And for disclosure sake, I played a position called Hooker.

...I know who to pay off to let any and all outrageous behavior be overlooked

Was in the opening minutes with a lady at a house party.  The mattress was way too soft, and as I pivoted to do DATY after her great BBBJ, the lack of support and sudden movement caused a grade 2 intercostal muscle pull in my rib cage.   If you've ever suffered that injury, you know it's almost end of the world painful...professional athletes often are out 4 - 8 weeks when they have that happen, and all it takes is a sudden, awkward movement.  In my case, I was unable to continue, and it took two months to heal.  The flight home the next day was nothing short of hellacious, and when I visited my Dr. a couple of days later, he was ready to prescribe Percocet.  Thanks, but no thanks...420 to the rescue!  Just don't inhale too deeply!   The pain from this injury is comparable to breaking a rib, and coughing or sneezing with it... is an understatement.