I try and hobby once every two to three months . But my last several sessions have been rather dismal. Barely able to get it up and takes forever to pop. Last time I had a "good" session with nearly 2 pops in an hour was when I was 43. I am 47 now. My issues are:

Have you tried cocking rings, penis pump, role-play, maybe kink? I think anything different is worth a try. Get creative. Massage is fun. Milking…

Lay off the porn

Maybe you consider eating right and getting into a regular exercise program. That could make a big difference.

But first of all, relax this isn't s sprint. Your points are very telling.
Seems you're putting too pressure on yourself getting all giddy and all. Here is where you're your own worse enemy,
You feel you have to perform like a porn star (Sorry but you ain't) and second it seems that  because you have to act out this porn star image in your head, you're hoping to get the 2 bangs for the hour. Gotta get your money's worth, right?? Get that shit out of your head
And if I was you, thank god I'm not....do the little blue pill. Heard it works for all that ails you.
Now go find yourself a slump buster....someone who is inexpensive and ugly as fuck, after all it's 1:59 am and the bars are closing....lol

There many other options that are not on your list, but the best advice comes from Fisher . . . . lay off the porn.  I have asked many providers why they don't see guys under 35 and the most common response is that they don't function well because they grew up watching internet porn, so the only way they are used to ejaculating is with a hand-job, and when the provider ends up resorting to that for the finish because you are not hard enough for penetration, she gets a bad review for a shitty session, but if she does the same things on her menu for older guys, she gets high scores.  

Oops. Reply to QB, but directed to the OP (original poster). Good info from others, but I will just add:
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Check out the "60 and Over Board." They don't do an age check and won't know that you're only in your 40s. Pop in, read through some threads, ask (and answer) questions.  
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http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/60-and-over-64/trimix-bimix-injection-issues-29346
One of the recent posts near the top is about injectables to help with these sorts of issues. One brand name is Caverject; another is Trimix. You said you don't want pills. Are injectables OK? Read about others' experiences on "60 and Over."
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Another suggestion is to consult with a urologist who may know of some alternatives that better match your needs (or wants).  
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Sometimes it's physical / biological. Sometimes it's mental. Hence, another suggestion is to see a psychologist, psychiatrist, or sex therapist, not to be confused with talking to a group of sex TERapists like us!

Fortunately I am in excellent shape. Slightly below average weight and I work out most every day with running , walking etc..  

Laying off the porn is hard as it helps me sleep, is enjoyable and free I can give it up 4-5 days before an appointment. But giving it up longer than that makes me question whether it's worth it just for a "good session".. I guess a case of can't having your cake and eat it

I think you have pied ( porn induced ed). I had it years ago and when I stop watching porn everything came back. a good book to read is your brain on porn by gary wilson. he does a great job of explaining it. take a 60 or 90 day break from porn and you are on the way back. also there are many people who take the blue pill just for insurance.

On top of cutting back on porn (once a week is fine) you may have an enlarged prostate which I had as I'm the same age as the thread starter. Once I was treated for it with Finasteride my ability to maintain an erection and finish via peneration/bj returned.

I am very much in your boat as such last spring I completely stopped the hobby. about a month ago I started up again, and the most important thing is are you in the hobby to have intercourse and act like a young man or are you in the hobby to enjoy yourself.

Get off the porn as it is a fantasy and sets your expectations well above what regular sex might be like. $ 300 for a good provider is not gong to happen in todays world. You need to find someone who attracts you and you can see repetitively to work through this. I can relate to your issues as at 65 I love to see a provider every week.  I have found I enjoy it more if I wait two weeks. Waiting pays off in the end for me just like laying off the porn will for you.  If the blue pill does not appeal to you try Cialis as it stays in your system much longer.      

...fucking with a condom may not compare to your hand.  You could need that skin to skin contact.  BBFS isn't hard to find - try a K-girl.  That way you could still be a bargain hunter.

That will mess up your sessions.

smoke some pot, stop jerking off and take a break from hobbying.  I used my "take a break" money to buy some good bourbon.  I like eagle rare and mckenna (10year).  Blantons is nice too.  It'll help with the nerves also, but I'm not a doctor.  

Penis Pump, only AFTER you see a physician about your ED.  As mentioned earlier, you may have a health issue.  

As you only do this occasionally, maybe consider going up to $400?  

If you're 47, in excellent shape, and at a good weight, my layperson's guess is that the ED is not from physical causes, or at least not primarily. I'd check in with a urologist, though, if you haven't already, and talk it over with your primary physician as well. ED can, among other things, be an early sign of cardiovascular illness. Not saying it is! But if anything like that is going on, the sooner it's discovered the better.

Porn is cheaper lol. If your not enjoying it don’t do it?

Just in case ... "So. Now vee may perhaps to begin. Yes?" is the last line of Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portnoy%27s_Complaint
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The picture is a screen cap from the movie version, Portnoy on the couch:  
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portnoy%27s_Complaint_(film)
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"So. Now vee may perhaps to begin. Yes?"

Very interesting that you referred to yourself as Bargain Hunter.. Are you not able to perform because you are not attracted to these bitches?  Under $300 you are pretty much guaranteed to get some ugly ass women or Street Walkers.. This isn't like 20 yrs ago when I could get a hottie for $250.  No wonder if you are not attracted to them you are not able to perform.  

Like the last post, I’m curious as to why you’re not interested in the pill.  A couple of years ago I started to lose my stamina (I’m now in my late 60s)  so I gave it a try.  It helps. I hobby infrequently so I’m not worried about side effects or the cost. And today with the generics, the price is doable. If you’re able to get off on porn, then I’m wondering if the porn hasn’t colored your expectations. Like others, I would suggest a hiatus at least a week before. At least that has helped me have a more eventful time. Also, as others have suggested, try spending a bit more, at least when you restart hobbying. A quality provider can make all the difference. I would be up front with the provider. If she’s really good, she’ll be attuned to your issues and try to help. Why jerk off yourself when a provider will be happy to relax you and do it for you.

Check your testosterone. It could be as simple as bringing the number up.  
I am 60 y.o. and have none of these probs. Maybe the porn addiction but I would not call it addiction: I don't look at porn on my phone during work meetings. Now, that would be an addiction. I just like porn, especially the classic from 1980s

I'm sure providers don't care if you watch porn while they are working on you.  Just do that.

thisisalloneword1234,
 I have a few questions for you.  I'm asking these questions, because maybe you need to change it up (Different Providers in between each PROVIDER that you are seeing now).

Definitely agree with this. If you’re getting off on porn but not with a provider stick with the porn. As much as the quality in service has dipped pertaining to providers in the past several years you’re actually better off.

Dude, I understand your plight, the attitudes of some providers who don't understand us. I personally get prescribed Cialis by my female PCP, it really works great also the landscape of the hobby has gotten colder and more scammers and conveyer belt type providers.  

…was the same as yours once I got in my early 50s.  Several things really helped me: