No problems with staying hard with masturbations and girlfriends (women I know), but when it comes to the providers, it's difficult to stay hard with stimulation or even blowjobs. It never gets hard enough so I can penetrate her, even though she is very attractive and I am very turned on.  

It's weird because it just stays soft. Is it because I am nervous?  

What are some ways I can stay hard for a period of time?  


-- Modified on 12/8/2016 1:57:13 PM

Try a shot of booze a few minutes before your date (Not enough to get blotto as that will end up making things worse.)

I used to do that and it was effective.

Most sexual dysfunction is a result of psychological impairment, not physical impairment.

In time, as you become adjusted to having sex with providers, the problem should abate

Viagra and the right girl works for me. Concentrate on pleasing her. You`ll be fine.

Since you're asking if it's because you're nervous you may not be able to answer the question, but if it was because you were nervous what are/were you nervous about?

can come from a number of causes, but is all about the big head, not the little head.  When I was younger, I had this problem when doing greek.  I was afraid I was going to hurt the girl, and it impaired my performance and stopped me from just enjoying the act.  Eventually fixed itself the more I did it.  There are guys that feel insecure around beautiful women; there are others who may have guilt feelings about cheating on their SO.  So you have to get the big head in the right place in order for the little head to function properly.  Or, you can do what many men do, and just force yourself to become more shallow with women in general.  Of course, I'm not referring to myself.  Just my observations in OTHERS.

You might try arranging a date with a provider you have already seen and would like to see again. First meetings are always exciting and can be a bit stressful if you're like most people. A repeat visit can give you the comfort of knowing what to expect and being able to just relax and enjoy.

Also, I've heard some say that using a female condom can help because you can slide in without being at full attention. Allows you to get your rhythm and you encourage max blood flow by not being restricted by a traditional condom. I haven't tried it myself, but it sounds like a possible solution.

Overall it def sounds like it's all in your mind, since you only have ED with providers.

I could be tired from a long day of work or from jet lag, or nervous about meeting a new person or wanting to have an awesome performance in the few short hours before I go back to regular life. Unfortunately a combination of these can overcome the benefits of the ED meds.
An excellent provider can make me feel that this is no big deal and we can have a wonderful time together, but it is still disappointing if I can't bring my A game.

Try sticking with the same provider a few times in a row...eventually you will become more comfortable around her....

I don't have issues getting or staying hard normally however, I have been with a lot of good looking providers where I had this issue. I do not have physical issues, and I am not a drinker. For me, I think it's a lack of connection with those providers, or a lack of her abilities. Usually good chemistry, bbbj or DATY, and erotic DFK gets me going. If she is pleased, I am pleased. Total deflate comes to me if she has a lazy attitude, upselling, rushing, her kitty is unattractive or smells, or any interruptions, or maybe even what she is wearing, or not wearing.  There are providers out there who do p4p because they want to get off as well and these providers want you to perform. They know what to do for you to perform and it's obvious when they will have many outstanding reviews

You could benefit from a viagra like aid.

Start there. We can talk about price modification after you take that first step.

I have the opposite problem, namely inability to finish, and I'm convinced it has to do with nervousness. Because on repeat visits I do fine; it's mostly first visits where I go right up to the end of the hour.

An old provider friend of mine used to say, "The sexiest part of the body is the brain."  
Sounds like yours is not taking you to that happy place you need to be at with providers.
You may want to focus on something that really turns you on, and think of that while the lady services you rather than zeroing on in her per se.
Good luck!!

My guess some suggestions may be coming from guys who don't have that problem. It's like people who get sea sick getting advice from someone who has never been sea sick.
  I have the same problem and have tried everyone one of the suggestions to no avail. I still enjoy the company of beautiful ladies and still enjoy a french encounter.

If the provider is all over you as soon as you walk in the door (or after you step out of the shower and mouthwash), sucky fucky kissy uninhibited, grabbing at your dick , I'm sure you'd get hard fast.
Sometimes less experienced providers are nervous or reserved, and that makes you nervous.  
Awkward tension, awkward small talk, doesn't help the mood.
vicious cycle. limp dick

My experience was similar.  I'm in my low 50's now and very healthy.  Not overweight, no cardiac or vascular issues.  Started hobbying about 9 years ago with no issues.  Then I started to get a little "bored" with the experience and began having this issue.  But never when masturbating or with my wife.  It was infrequent, but i happened.  About three years ago I began using viagra--from online / india.  It worked and cost about 0.50 each.  I just nibbled a bit and let is dissolve under my tongue.  12.5mg or half a 25mg pill.  Hard as a brick wall.  Would get aroused standing at an incall door.  And remain so even after the first orgasm. (which was delayed a bit by the V)
Then I started becoming a bit resistant to it, needed a bigger dose.  Never with my wife or masturbating though.  It worked for me.
Went on to an SB.  It worked there too.  But eventually I stopped using it.  Never really needed it with her.  Then just a couple weeks ago I went to provider, hadn't seen one in over 6 months.  Didn't think to use V.  Ah heck, it just wasn't happening!  Something in my mind about "cheating", more on my SB than my wife, just bothered me.  Well, she did a good job "handling it", and I eventually arose to the occasion.
Just yesterday I was hard as rock twice in close sequence with my SB.  Great sex.  Twice.  No V needed, as usual with her.
Anyway, yes, its all in our minds (some of us anyway).  And V will help.  But maybe we should just listen to what our body is trying to tell us.

OO

We can only go by what you wrote and our experiences and general knowledge. Of course, there's no guarantee anything whatsoever will work for you, specifically. But if you really don't have the same problem with women you know, then getting to know a provider, conditioning yourself not to think of the hobby as something special, and working on not psyching yourself out should do the trick.  

You don't get treated for sea sickness by other victims of sea sickness, by the way. You go to a doctor. Think of your fellow posters as hobby doctors.

I share similar problem, what I do and seems to work is
I take 100 mg of Viagra and usually It does the trick unless I get overheated  
then I go limp . So my question to you is do you get overheated during the sexual act ?
If you do this could be a problem .

I have tried Cialis 20 mg unfortunately I don't like walking around with a boner for 3 days  
and when I am with a provider my dick is half way erect on Cialis and on 100 mg Viagra I'm almost  
at 100% unless the room is too hot and I get over heated then I go limp
That pisses me off , so what I do right before we start the session I make sure heat is off or I  
turn up the ac if its summer , and then we get to it. I also have learned to spend more time  
with foreplay, this usually gets me excided and I can avoid getting too worked up during sex which will cause me to get overheated .

Another reason you maybe having a problem is like someone already mentioned , anxiety.
I don't know how long you have  been hobbing , I don't see any reviews attached to your name  
so if you are new to this , this overload of sex with so many women of your dreams will do this to  
you . I know I had this problem at first and Viagra or not I was way too stressed out over the encounter. But the good news to this is that the longer you do this , the more comfortable  
you will be with any woman . Shit , take it from me , I got so damn comfortable with the providers  
these days that when I fuck my wife and sex was good I wana leave her a tip.... hahahaha  

 
Anyway , If  we could expend on this thread if you guys don't mind ,I really would like to hear from anybody from a medical background on the  topic of overheating , Is there anyone else that shares the same problem ?  Is there anything that can be done ?

whenever I'm with a girl , I focus on her pleasure  
and make sure she gets an O or many Os , this will excite me even further  
ultimately resulting in me having an great orgasm.
Time is up and I leave happy :

END OF MESSAGE

I'd go out with a young woman, go back to my place, get all hot and bothered, and then it would just go limp. It was, as has been mentioned before, performance anxiety. My doc said to concentrate on the woman, not on me. That did the trick. After awhile, I was able to stay hard for a very, very long time.

Then came age, and with it ED. The pills don't necessarily work if you're nervous.

Maybe easing into the P4P with a FBSM or 2 or .... Less pressure to please her and a more relaxed atmosphere in my experience. DON"T GO TO AN AMP.
Search for a well reviewed gal that you find physically attractive and go for it. Make sure she's upper 20s or older in age as the young ones often don't have the patience.  

I had some psychological issues about 5 years ago for a couple reasons. Asked my doc for V, he warned it wouldn't help if it was all in my head and he was right.

Don't feel bad, it happens. I had testicular cancer and during the last operation down there they damaged some nerves. I had to learn the best ways to stimulate things given the dead zones in little me.  

I mostly learned how to overcome that issue, but I still get nervous with new people. Things like will they think less of me because I am missing something? If I can't get it up or keep it up' as sometimes I just can't, will she take it personally or be offered? That has happened? Will she take offense if I give her pointers do to my difficult unit? Will she think less if me as a man because of all this shit? These thoughts haunt me with new ladies, and it affects me down there more then my damaged nerves or what I lack, especially when it first happened. I was so ashamed.

I am learning that I have to let go and accept I have special issues as a lover and that it is OK. I can still please and be pleased. I am having much greater success both getting mine and giving her, her's. I also find by repeating with the especially understanding ones my success rate goes. Familiarity reduces nerves and nerves are the biggest  enemy of errections.  

You may need additional help. There are plenty of herbs, and drugs available. See your doctor and get checked out. Low testosterone, high/low blood pressure, sleep apnea, high cholesterol, high/low blood sugar, depression, anxiety, and drugs/medication can contribute to the issue and there is treatments and ajust for much of that that can help.I personally need hormone replacement therapy to function properly and use supplements. I didn't have much luck with the oral drugs and poking myself with a needle for P4P didn't seem wise.

One last thing, I function better if I get regular exercise, eat right, drink lots of water, and get 8 whole hours of sleep the night before. Being well rested, well hydrated, and the best shape YOU can be in helps a lot. And trust me on this even small amount of healthy weight loss can have a huge effect down therevery, physically, mentally and emotionally. Of course always consult your doctor before starting any weight loss or management program.

thats why I try to converse and later massage my date into comfort.... try to relax next time you spend time with a provider... clear your mind and enjoy the time.... thats the time to use the head below..yes you get to think with the "other head" enjoy it (: hope it works out for you if you decide to try it again (:

I see a lot of older gentleman who have issues getting hard. Occasionally the younger man who's also been hit by ED a bit early. As a trans provider, this is something that affects most of us (unless that girl isn't on hormones, but that's another story). So it's something that can be used as a means of comfort. I'll often tell clients of mine that is not just them, and that I have trouble occasionally, even on film, as well as all of the trans girls I've ever gotten in front of the camera for the company I direct for.  

That little bit of comfort and understanding goes a long way toward rectifying the issue (if it's psychological). I'm also a fan of cock rings in any situation. Short when I'm shooting a scene (where it would still be nice to have), I always have one on, as it take the pressure to perform off of me in a given situation. I ended up buying a couple dozen to give to people a long the way that even remotely appear to be having an issue. Even if it's not absolutely necessary, it often gives that extra pstchological boost that I, as a provider, may not be able to provide (a placebo if you will). I think when Simone see me wearing one, and I ask if they would like one, it makes it easier on everyone because that pressure starts to disappear.

There also ED meds that work amazingly well (recommendation of seeing your healthcare provider for low dose coal is, as it has minimal side effects).