What's is the likelihood of a hobbyist to be able to book a provider when at any point during the email, or phone conversation, the guy asks: how much?
Uhm..... 0%? 😂 I can't believe people still do thiDon't get mad if you don't get paid.
I wouldn't know if this rule would apply to people who list their rates.
Also couldn't someone say that, instead of saying never mind?
I don't say it like "how much?" though. I normally just ask if $xx is the correct donation, or I will just ask them straight up what the donation is. I've never had a problem with that.
correct me if necessary. Do you wait until after you've been vetted
If it is the very first thing you ask before saying anything else, the provider wouldn't know who the hell is asking her, that would be a bit strange for her, I'd think.
In my experience, it goes like this: I text or email to say hi (insert her name here), my name is xxx, I saw your ad on TER, I have references with xxx, I would like to meet you, are you available to meet at xxx time? Then it goes from there with me answering her questions. (if she responds at all, obviously sometimes they don't) If my answers to her questions are all good and if nothing she said made me back out either (which happens sometimes), I then confirm the donation, then I commit to the prior discussed date and time as the very last thing. Orderly process, generally takes minutes start to finish, no problem.
I keep all conversations polite and professional. Saying something like "how much?" is not a professional way to ask somebody something. I also never use text shorthand, and I can't stand when people write to me that way either. I just think it is a childish way of communicating.
Like I said in my other post, if the rates are clearly stated I have no Readon to ask and will not ask. However if the rates are not clear and I need to ask, then it will be one of the first questions. I'm not going to bother wasting time on screening etc., if I am not going to see her based on rates.
i also like to confirm the donation. but i never ask how much.
If its someone I haven't seen before (and even if it is and there could be confusion about which package we're talking about) I'll just confirm that the donation for ## is as per the rate on www.???. Has never been a problem and once I've even had a lower rate quoted back to me. (I paid her the higher rate, in part because of her gesture and in part because that was what I'd been prepared to pay.)
But ya know, I eat out a lot and I'm amazed how many people I hear who don't bother to read the menu but instead bother the waiter staff with obvious questions. There may be some connection there...
Never ask a provider ANY questions of this sort until AFTER you've been verified and only then, respectfully and tactfully. And never to negotiate. That is something that would warrant a successful liason and a synergy that merits it's consideration. AND THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DO THIS AFTER A DATE OR TWO OR THREE. OK? 😎 I'm not saying I've never broached the subject, both successfully and not so. But the result never put a strain on the relationship, either way
Just putting a parameter on "if and when"
But I had good reason to, and I used better words.
First was a provider whom I had seen but her rate increased(500/hr) since I'd seen her, but her website said that she would grandfather (300/hr) if you had seen her before, her newsletter said that if you hadn't seen her within a year, you could get $100 off her new rates. Hadn't seen her in almost 2 years so I asked if I was eligible for her old rate cause her wording was confusing and there were 3 rates that I conceivably could've paid. Ended up booking but had to cancel as she was running late to her incall and I had no spare time.
Another time, provider had 2 websites. One had one rate (400/hr), the other had another (300/hr). Gave screening info, and then I asked. She said that the lower rate was an old website which would shortly be deleted (and it was). Set an appointment, with a date, and time, never got a confirmation email. Moved on, found another provider and the day after we were supposed to meet up, she texts me saying that she was available. I politely declined, since I made other plans (even though deep down inside I wanted to go off on her for being horrible at communication).
then I ask. It has never been a problem. I am not going to set a date with a hooker EVER if I don't know how much I am paying upfront!
I tend to mostly shop on BP, and if the girl doesn't specify a rate in her ad, and doesn't mention it, I will usually ask "donation?". Usually there is no real vetting before this. But I also don't discuss service details. Date/time, location, duration, donation, that is all.
may I ask what is BP,I am new,thanks
how else are we going to know how much to bring???? i am always respectful when asking, so i am sure that helps.
I have an appt this week where the provider has THREE different prices listed online. I will ask.
...there's a high chance they are hoping you'll say something lower.
I re-direct them to my ad which ALWAYS included some rates (or my website).
If for some reason they ask again I'll ignore because by then i'm pretty sure they care more about fucking with me than fucking me and I got other people to do.
-- Modified on 8/28/2016 7:23:06 PM
I have never been turned down for a date because of asking how much. Maybe it is 0% for you, but you are not "all providers."
Now if the rates are clear in their ads and/or website, there is obviously no need to ask and I can see a provider getting upset for being asked in those instances. However, many providers rates are not clear, or not even mentioned in ads or websites. Other times, rates are all over the place. (One price on p411, another on a website, different prices on different ads, another one on TER.) In other cases there may be rates but not for the time frame I am looking for. Now I never just phrase the question as "how much?" But there are discreet ways to ask about rates, and I have done it dozens of times without problems.
Don't you want the item that you are purchasing to have a price tag on it?
So there aren't any problems when it's time to check out.
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