What's ultimately pleasurable about being with a hot woman, is not that she is beautiful to look at.  It's that you are being desired by a woman who is beautiful; that she could have any man and she chooses you.

Not saying that there isn't a certain value in just having sex with a hottie, but it's a long way from being wanted by one.  That's something that a provider can never provide.  Sure some can act, but none can sincerely offer it: the fact that they'd sleep with anyone implies that they don't really desire the hobbiest they're with over all other men.

Awhile back I think they ran a poll on a thread in which the providers decided the average john was a "7".

So they aren't screening for looks.  And my ATF told me in general she hates sex with clients (second time I saw her, seen her 5-6 times since) so she is not screening for great sex.  She screens for how much money she can get from a guy.  IE you pay her initial fee, you pass screening, and you are good to go.

I've had 2 experiences with very hot providers who did a great job of acting - I enjoyed it during the hour (guess that's what it all about).  But of course in the end, it wasn't as satisfying.  Sure wish I could believe "I then went down on her for 40 minutes, she was sopping wet and came 3 times.  Then we did mish, doggie, CG, RCG and we both came.  Then round 2 ..."

Those lucky ignorant bastards.

Sorry, Finne, but I find your post to mix up so many things it's hard to understand what you're trying to say.

From my perspective:  Sex with someone you love and respect, and who reciprocates those feelings, is something completely different from "sex with a hottie."  I do not expect my experiences with providers to be remotely like sex with my wife, which is an act of love.  I don't think anyone expect that.

"Hot sex," on the other hand, is hot because of the chemistry between the two people.  In 35 years of this hobby, I've found that the temperature has very little to do with what the woman looks like.

If "being desired by a woman who is beautiful" is your measure of a good experience, then I respectfully suggest that you'll get a lot more out of your hobby if you try to be less narcissistic and more of a giving participant.  

In the last analysis, sex is communication; the quality of the sex is reflective of how well the two participants communicate, which in turn is reflective of how much they try to understand each other and respond to each other.  In many respects, it's not that different from other interactions.  Perhaps you are looking to sit back and be entertained -- it sounds that way.  Others are interested in having a good "conversation," and others are perhaps just interested in screaming.

"And in the end, the love you take
Is equal to the love you make."

                      -- the Beatles

I'm always looking for that provider who seems to want me as much as I want her.  And it happened.  I found someone who, while not saying that she had feelings for me personally, was so hot for sex that she would not let me go, talked constantly about how much she liked it and wanted more.  Flattered me with compliments, attention and even little gifts.  She is low volume.  She gets extremely high reviews from her other clients.

But still, it wasn't QUITE what I was looking for, and I moved on.  What's wrong?  I think I need a good impact adjustment in the head.  

And then, of course, there is my ATF.  I have strong, inappropriate feelings for her.  She is not low volume.  She likes me but maintains careful boundaries, because she is a lot smarter than I am.  My worst nightmare would happen if I got what I think I want from her.  

So what lessons can I learn from all this?  Just keep moving?

"I don't pay them to have sex with me, I pay them to leave after they have sex with me."  Charlie Sheen

Most of us are long past worrying about whether or not a woman chooses us.  Its nice when it happens (or not), but it tends to be a secondary consideration for most of us.

I look at it differently than you do.  "What's ultimately pleasurable about being with a hot woman" for you is knowing that she wants you.  This seems to indicate it is very important for you to have that reassurance that you are desirable, and in fact, it is the primary source of your pleasure.  The better looking the woman, the more reinforcement you get, the happier you are.  

This is very understandable, perhaps, but you should realize it is also a very self-centered, or ego-centric approach to interacting with women.  If that is indeed your criteria for having enjoyable sex, then I'm guessing you will never enjoy being with a provider, and probably won't enjoy too many of your civilian experiences either (since most women won't be hot enough to satisfy your psychological needs).

I approach providers just like any other women I meet.  I consider the circumstances of our meeting (I saw their web page and paid their fee) to be irrelevant, and no different meeting someone else in a random fashion.  Of course, the terms of our meeting imply we will become intimate, but that's not the point.  The point is, after I meet them, it's up to the two of us to determine if we like each other and enjoy each other's company.  

I don't want to be intimate with a woman that doesn't like me, either.  So I try to get to know her, and I want her to get to know me as well.  If we click, then our mutual enjoyment grows with subsequent visits.  If I feel she's not into me, then I'll gracefully exit.  

I'm far from good looking, in fact, I'm only that "7" mentioned in a post above on a good day.  But women like me, just the same, because I like them.  It doesn't matter if you're talking about wives, GF's or providers, no woman is going to enjoy the company of a man whose primary interest is just in himself.  It's a sign of maturity to have your ego under control and to be able to relate to people without it always revolving around your needs.

Someone might respond,  "It's my money, so it should be about my pleasure" and that would be understandable.  But those same people never seem to understand why their pleasure isn't very great.  That intangible of "chemistry" is pretty hard to achieve when you only think of the women you're with in terms of your pleasure.  

Escorts are women first, and the respond like anybody else.  Most of them are very good at getting a sense of a client within just a few minutes after meeting them.  The reality of YMMV and the session that follows is usually based on how they feel about you based on what you're projecting.

And by the way, they like to feel desirbable too, and it's not just about the money.  It's about how you treat them.

Are you confusing your attraction to a hottie with what attracts her to you.  It may not be looks that attract her to you.  You can't say that she can't possibly want to be with you and desire you, especially after a couple of dates.  She can look forward to seeing you, she can desire you.

Or are you trying to say that she won't desire to see you exclusively, above all men?  

Is anyone out there having sex that is completely satisfying all, or even most of the time?  Tell us all the secret if you are the provider or the client.  

I see providers because I have little expectation that sex with my SO will be even moderately satisfying -- ever.  I have not met a woman I want to have an affair with.  

That does not imply that every encounter with a provider rings the bell for me either.  The reason I keep hobbying is, to quote Jerry Lee Lewis "... you know you never can tell".  Sometimes it's great: even bad sex with a provider is a good physical experience -- it just isn't emotionally satisfying.  The trick seems to be finding providers who are friendly, intelligent, and experienced enough to be the kind of woman you would like to spend a little time with.  The reviews help.

Sex with a woman who wants to be having sex with you will always be heads and shoulders above sex with one who's there for the cash.  So sex with a hot provider can never be fulfilling, no matter how hot she is.

...to make the 7 to a 6 in my case, but I seem to manage to get by just fine---which only serves to add more substance to the rest of the post.

It's the old "chase is better than the catch" syndrome... So don't fight it, just keep chasing and enjoy!

You are still assuming that no provider wants to have sex with you.  I don't think that has to be true.  I've said on this board that I have gotten calls from 20 year olds who want to get together so the can get off.  And I'm old, a 7 at my very best and not all that well hung.  So don't sell yourself short.  There are a lot of providers you love the sex.

The day a 20 year old calls me to get together to get off I'll believe you.  And I'm a 9.

You're absolutely right, I don't desire you over all men. I DESIRE all men, period. I don't want to be your girlfriend, your one and only, and you are certainly not mine... you're one of my many, you feed my need, and you gratify the HSE in me... and if that's nt what you're looking for you can go to another lady.

Hugs*
Tamara

Well I'm not a 9, at least in the looks department.  And I'm not one who just falls for the GF Experience hook-line-and-sinker.  But I think that I have been with providers who want to be with me.  

My ATF is a real looker.  Whe she comes over for a date, I know she is looking forward to it.  I truly believe she enjoys the time she spends with me, inside and outside the bedroom.  

Do I think she loves me?  No.  Do I think if she had to pick one guy for the rest of her life she would pick me? No.

But for that night she could basically have any guy and she has choosen me.

I have a wonderful time seeing the ladies I do.

One of the reasons I do hobby is for companionship.  I enjoy talking with an interesting, intelligent woman before and after.  To me...intelligence is an aphrodisaic.

Another reason is for the sexual gratification (obviously).  I laughed when I saw that someone ranked the average hobbyist as a 7.  That's me...with the wind at my back LOL.

Some people use sex as a substitute for love.  There is a very distinct difference.  For me, sex is better when you are in love with the person.

However, I also enjoy meeting many different ladies, as I don't have a particular "type."  

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being with woman who knows what she is doing and enjoys doing it.  Some of the greatest sexual experiences of my LIFE have been with ladies I have met (not with my ex-wife).  And the sex with her was awesome.  IMHO.....

... about being with a hot woman is that she responds to you when you are with her. And that she would enjoy seeing you again.

That completely satisifies what I am looking for in this hobby.

You and BeBeDoll Seem to Like the Phase.

You think girls never desire thier clients!!???!!!
(you haven't walked in my shoes!)