I got a comment on my blog (alex lieberman escort)about screening men for height and weight. Have any providers out there ever asked potential clients if they are over weight or for a physical description in the screening process?

Would hobbyist's be offended if it was asked?


Kisses,

Alex

why should we be offended? we are screening the providers.

Presumably to screen for SOMETHING.

Am I offended? No -- not at all. But that's just because I am weight proportionate and youngish.

BUT -- I can absolutely understand why, when a woman is offering herself as essentially a public accomodation, some portion of the public that might be excluded by her on the basis of height, weight, race, etc. etc. might be quite offended to be excluded for ANY reason other than whether or not he is a good customer.

Anyway, I know what you ladies do with the pictures. You print 'em out and tape them to the ceiling over your bed and look at them while using your vibrators.

Don't worry. I won't tell -- or charge extra.

I have seen ads from a couple of women who do this so it is not a new concept, just one rarely used.

I think men would rather know up-front that you are not into trying to deal with fatties.  It would save you the headache and them the money.  They might be offended but at least they wouldn't be offended and out $300.

No matter how well an escort tries to hide her disgust I would imagine that it still shines through her performance which is not likely to go over too well.

Your blog is funny and blunt.  Since you're in Atlanta it just makes me wonder if I've seen you or not so I can check off the "Had sex with a member of the tribe" box on my bucket list.

To a certain extent we are putting ourselves out there for the public to view, but because of the delicate nature of the business transaction(getting naked and then intimate), this business can and is treated somewhat differently to your ...say, shoe store, restaurant or car dealership, where service does NOT entail having  someone you are either very uncomfortable with or just afraid of, alone with you in a room with no means of protection and they want to have sex with you. Please consider this before placing escorts out there with the rest of the business world...thank you for your attention.

And you said you wouldn't tell a soul if I used your image in that fashion...sheesh, ya just can't trust anyone these days...

As nobody knows who we are!

I absolutely fully support a woman's fundamental right to control with whom, and under what terms, she will share her body. After all, if she doesn't control her person -- she is no longer free and has become a slave.

But my support for that notion doesn't mean that someone who is an otherwise good client (i.e. verifies as safe, pays, shows up clean, etc.) who is excluded on what (to him) will seem a capricious or unjust basis (height, weight, race, etc.) will have the warm fuzzies about it.

Like all of a person's rights; when a person exercises that right, that is no guarantee that others will be appreciative.

For example, the Supreme Court has recognized that I have a fundamental individual right to keep and bear arms. Yet, if I were to exercise my right to bear arms during appointments with providers, you would likely exercise YOUR right not to see me. So my exercise of MY right, would cost me something.

So, yes, I recognize that providers have a right to exercise ultimate control over their person. But the exercise of that right, particularly in a fashion that others might perceive to be arbitrary and/or capricious, will likely have adverse consequences. With rights come responsibilities.

Could not agree with you more..and very well put!

I'm not overly fat, overly ugly, or overly gross.  But I can imagine some men might be put off!


BTW I read that blog... .FUNNY!!!!  When does the book come out????

BTK

Speak for yourself sweetie. I am getting e-mail after e-mail and comment after comment on my blog from other providers who are just as disgusted as I am when I see an over weight hobbiest coming my way. They have applauded me for telling the truth.

Kisses,

Alex.

It is actually a discreet way to let a potential client know you are a sizist, and that men who are not HW proportionate are not welcome.

If a certain body type is something a provider cannot deal with with, then it is a very good way to let a BHM know in a non-offensive way.

It is now different than a provider posting that she is "curvy" or "the way a woman is supposed to be."

It is completely acceptable and reasonable for a provider to make a PERSONAL PREFERENCE CHOICE to exclude men of certain color or race, as long as it is done RESPECTFULLY. Provider should be able to exclude body types, just like they do hygiene types, personality types,(e.g. "I cater to CLEAN, RESPECTFUL GENTLEMEN") age groups, disabilities etc.

The key is how you say it.

Better to do that, than find out at the door, and continue with a seesion where you cannot deliver, the client is disatisfied, and maybe you be a bad review.

Fucktards who use terms like "fatties" for men or women are no different that people who used the word "n----" for black people back in the 50's.

Can you imagine, in this day and age, an ad like this:

"I am a young elite provider who who caters to the upscale gentleman who enjoys the finer things in life. Please, No fatties. No darkies. No old guys (You are as old as my DAD, for chrissakes!) No cheesedicks or stickasses, either"

Pretty redickulous.

Anything can be expressed with class. e.g.

"I prefer mature gentlemen over age 35"
"I do not cater to gentleman of asian decent."
"I prefer gentleman who are fit and healthy"
"I cater to gentleman who are Height and Wieght proportionate"
etc. etc. etc.

It it not the preference or exclusion that matters. It is how you communicate it.

Just look at her blog where she refers to it as a "fat fuck experience" and even in her posts here where she refers to fat hobbyists as "disgusting."

Hey, I'm totally with her right to have sex with whatever dude floats her boat. Especially since I am weight proportionate myself.

But as for *respect*? From what I am seeing, she has either no desire to express her preferences respectfully.

Now, I am absolutely NOT a "fat fuck," but even *I* find her fashion of expressing herself quite ... uh ... informative.

I especially like the way she speaks for all escorts on her blog:

"Bullshit! I don’t believe anyone who tells me that they love being a provider, an escort… a WHORE.  The truth is you have to be a little broken inside to do this.  There has to be some vacancy, some hole that wasn’t and isn’t being filled.  I never wanted to admit it to myself but it’s true.  Somewhere down the line I had become broken. "

She projects like nobody's business; saying that because she recognizes that SHE is broken inside; all other escorts must also be broken inside.

Maybe if she were a bit less broken inside, she could find a way to express her preferences with a bit more class.

IMO, a provider can pick and choose if that is what she wishes to do. This isn't a publicly traded company adhering to US laws about discrimination.

I can see it now, the screeners reading the EEO policy to you...

If she wishes to self limit her business, so be it.

I especially like the way she speaks for all escorts on her blog:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
IMO, I have seen all types of guys from short guys 4'7" to 6'0" .. some light weights to some around 300 lbs, and I wouldn't be sitting on a blog ragging on about these hobbyists either, So pls sweetie don't say you speak for me on your blog.. as you don't..AS NOBODY speaks for me BUT ME!!

A few escorts I know have their own preference for meeting dates.. mine is I don't see any guys under 35 that's my only quirk .. and yes i see guys who are height and weight proportionate as well. As long are you are in good health .. I am cool with you..

Thats my 2 cents worth
SweetPeach
Enjoying the Sun in NW Indiana today

Now I am beginning to like you too. Great post and I completely agree.

Hey KillerOfDreams... I hate to kill YOUR dreams, but if you read the comments I'm getting from other providers, not just on this particular post but my whole blog, you'll see that I'm not the only one that feels this way.

And BTW I don't disparage their personalities, but both men AND women who let themselves go to that extent are disgusting.  Leave out the REAL medically challenged who REALLY can't do anything about it, but obese men who don't take care of themselves are repulsive to lie with.  

Like it or now, that's how it is, and I don't blame any provider who won't tell you how they truly feel.  It's not in their best interest to do that.

This is a business that deals in fantasy, I just choose not to live in a fantasy world 24/7.  What I say here and in my blog is honest.  Maybe you can somehow respect honesty.

kisses, Alex

I am thinking that halfhour is referring to a ladies website. This blog you speak about is not her real name therefore she feels free to express her true feelings without the fear of wrecking her business..not particularly fun reading for the fellas, but her truth as she sees it.

I do agree that she is painting us all with the same brush. I learned my lesson on here to speak from my own personal experiences and not lump anyone in one particular category, good or bad. I am not broken, love the money I make and have a full time job to boot with a great SO and great friends. Nope...not broken.

I do temp to lump providers and hobbyists together.

But I also recognize that just as in life there are exceptions to every rule.  If you're truly happy I'm glad you're one of the exceptions out there!

kisses, Alex

Yes you are, however you are the one paying. And some men on here feel that because you pay, a woman has to see anyone with the Benjamins. Silly I know, but they do think that way.

Thanks babe...btw great reading

and if you are comfortable with how you look than that is all that matters. Just make sure your healthy too. I'm glad you can read my blog and take it as it should be....entertainment with a peek into the truth of what goes on in a providers head.

Kisses,

Alex

If they ask for a photo I send a fake one..
Usually after all the prep work she goes through, at the worst, she will put a bag on my head or only allow doggie while she's watching TV.
I have found most providers will accept a bait and switch,and think of something else while getting the job done, much like some of you guys..

of this type of information, but I have never asked. I don't see the point. But, I also know some do ask..

Or tall. Or thin. Or by color. Or even religion. It's her body. It's her business. I'm far from fat, but am quite tall and large in the penis. You would think that a good thing, but I've already had one provider (a stripper who does outside the club service) tell me frankly that she can't see me because of my pecker size. I've also had girlfriends have a problem with it, one to the point that we broke up over it.

Everybody has their shit to deal with. If a provider is unwilling to deal with it, so be it. It's her right. Just as it's our right to spend our money on one who will.

-- Modified on 7/9/2010 3:10:44 PM

Never been asked for height and weight, but if I was, and it turned out that I was outside the providers standards, I would just move on.

As I have previously noted in this thread, I have no issue with any woman's right to choose her bed partners.

I realize that many providers have difficulty with fat guys. Hey -- one, just this week, posted about this OPENLY using her HANDLE linked to her reviews!

She could do this because she addressed the matter with full honesty AND respect at the same time!

Where you and I differ is in the crassness of your remarks.

Calling it a "fat fuck experience" or calling other providers (what are you? a licensed psychiatrist?) "broken inside" is just plain crass.

Look, I realize there is a segment of the population out there that thinks anything accompanied by profanity must be "real" and anything expressed otherwise must lack "authenticity" -- but I am here to tell you that at least MY segment of the population does not.

PLENTY of providers here, openly and using their TER linked handles, express the exact same sentiments as you -- only with a bit of tact. Men fully respect them, and continue to patronize them.

Maybe, if you learned to express yourself with tact and common human respect for others, while still being honest, you wouldn't have to hide your thoughts for fear of economic ruin.

As for killing my dreams? My dear, in YOUR wildest dreams, you lack the power.

xoxoxo

Yes it is true my blog is crass. That doesn't mean I am. It's called humor. Have you ever heard of the Farley brothers, or Chelsea Handler? You either have to lighten up or fork up some more cash and get yourself laid. I really have no idea why you feel the need to put me down. This is obviously your issue, not mine. I'm not hiding my thoughts. I am writing a story that is getting well over 2,000 readers a day. I am also receiving rave reviews and e-mails asking if I'm interested in writing a book, a screen play, and so on.  

I have no desire to kill your dreams sweetie as I am on to much bigger and better things than you.

I just like to have the last word. I guess it's all part of being broken. LOL

Kisses,

Alex.

yadayoda" "I'm far from fat, but am quite tall and large in the penis."

But I've never been told I have a Big Dick..
The best compliment I've ever received about my dick was "Not too big, Not too small, Its just right" ..I think she was a lesbian...   Usually they just laugh and ask me if thats a Dick or a Clit..
If you don't mind yadayoda PM me before you see your next provider..I would hate to be the appointment after you, and fall in .

I would be a hypocrite to criticize a provider for doing the same. I might be an asshole, but I am not a hypocrite.

Providers, and hobbyists have a right to decide who they are willing to fuck. I would rather have an impolite rejection than have a provider spend a session in obvious disgust. Now that would be a lot bigger ego killer than a relatively impersonal "I don't see ______ types"

To Alex

I'm overweight.  I am not offended by your making your preferences clear up front.  Whyever should I be?  I would not choose a provider who I found unattractive, or, if I knew beforehand,  was "unattractive" to me in some non-physical sense.   Moreover, I think that an aversion to one's partner would almost certainly affect performance.  You (unlike me), of course, have to balance your preference against the potential loss of business, but that's certainly your call.  I am comfortable with myself and how I look - not happy, but comfortable.  I suspect that men who object to your preference are not particularly secure about their looks or sexuality, but, of course, that's their call, and YMMV.

P.S.  Your blog is great.

Let me get this straight Killer, you agree with what she's saying but you're upset about HOW she's saying it?

Seriously?  Have you read her blog, I mean besides the current one?  Do you recognize humor when you read it?

So she's ok thinking these thoughts that I'm sure PLENTY of providers have (based on the comments I've read), but she dare not say them out loud?

This is not about profanity, this is about using satire to make a (humorous) point!

The fact that you believe men need to be handled with kid gloves (tact) just proves her point about ego.  I for one applaud what she's doing and HOW she's doing it.  And I have NO problem with her calling out us hobbyists every once in a while.

BTW, you DO realize that you're speaking for every guy here, ("Men fully respect them, and continue to patronize them.")just as you're accusing her of speaking on behalf of every provider.  Smacks of hypocrisy to me!

Lighten up.  Don't take yourself so seriously.  

First, congratulations on your success!  2,000 hits a day is a good start, and a book deal would definitely be sweet.

There is a difference between questioning someone's human value; and questioning their behavior.

Again, as I have stated -- I support your right to have any criteria for choosing clients that you wish; just as I can have any criteria for choosing escorts that I wish.

We don't differ there. Never did, never will. That is because I support your human value, whether you consider yourself to be broken or not.

You are the world's foremost authority on who you are, and what you intend. So if you say that describing your fellow providers as all being "broken inside" is actually humor -- I'll accept that. I'm not sure I could get laid enough to see the humor in that though. I guess it takes all kinds.

But one thing I want to make clear is that I am not in any way either questioning your human value OR your right to select clients however you choose.

I was not trying to put you down; but was questioning your *approach.* Sorry -- that's fair game.

I also support your right to question MY human value; though I find it more odd than offensive. Telling me that you are on to "bigger and better things" than me ... is obviously an attempt to make me feel small or inadequate. Or maybe some sort of strange humor. It doesn't offend me, I just find it strange.

I'll leave the last word for you, Ms. Lieberman.

xoxoxo!

Thanks for the banter.

Kisses,

Alex

-- Modified on 7/9/2010 7:04:35 PM

Well. Since you asked.

I have never been asked about my height, weight, dick size, whatever.

But, I do have a habit of talking with the ladies before we meet and feel it's only fair to send them a pick of me seeing as how I see them from their sites.

I'm not ashamed. I'm about 5' 10", 170-175, probably not as good-looking as I profess, and as far as dick size and performance you have to ask the ladies I've seen.

I can be charming and be an asshole.

Like people here don't already know that...

But in the context of the original question, I wouldn't be offended.

Don't WE screen ladies we would like to see?

I think it should be mutual.

It's their 'time' we're after. I believe they should enjoy our 'time' as well.

But that's just me.

Not only was I pretty tough on Ms. Lieberman, but for a very long time I have been tough on fellow hobbyists.

When they have been just having well-intended fun by using aliases to call providers fat, etc. -- I've seen this as very uncouth and inappropriate behavior.

It is clear that not only did I misunderstand Ms. Lieberman's intent -- I also misunderstood that of my fellow hobbyists.

I thought they were using aliases so that their behavior wouldn't cost them opportunities; when really, it is all just good natured fun.

So I'll lighten up on Ms. Lieberman and my fellow hobbyists as well.

Well it would be more understandable if you did.

I hate to burst your little bubble here, sugar, but your comment about men and women "who let themselves go" is way of the mark. Obses people did not let themselves go, any more than my black family members let themselves get too dark.

People who let themselves go may become 30, 40 or 50 lbs overweight. If they are a real dozie, amybe a bit more. That puts them, for an normally average size person, at maybe 160-175lb for a woman and maybe 200-240 for a man. These "curvy" big folks are commonly NOT thought of as obese by other people. Not just because of the AMOUNT of extra weight they carry, but the way they carry it — the way they look. It's different. These are the folks that can lose the weight and keep it off again, IF THEY DECIDE TO.

Folks who tip the scales at well over 300, and typically have been that way all their lives are usually what people mean by "obese". Their bodies are literally disfigured by the disease. If you don't have someone in your family like this then you probably don't know jack shit about it, other that how their outward appearance repulses you.

So, be repulsed but keep your fucking mouth shut when it comes to disparaging comments about them.

I personally have within in my family closely expererience the intolerance agaist race,  intolerance against the disabled, and intolerance against the obese. There is very little difference. These loved ones did not choose NOR CAUSE color, their disability (cerebral palsy), nor their obesity.

RARELY do we hear "n-----", or "ccon" but we do. sometimes we here "cripple" and "gimpy". But often we hear "fatass" "whale" "pig" "blubbergirl" and so on.

In my personal opinion, people who use ANY of those epithets agains othe folks are the lowest of the low.

Get educated. No matter what self-righteous know-it-all may spout off, the scientific and medical expert worldwide using the best and latest technolgies and reseach, that when it comes to obese people:

* Genes help determine the body's "set point," which is defended by the brain. * Weight control is not simply a matter of willpower. * Dieting alone is rarely successful * Moderate exercise, too, rarely results in substantive long-term weight loss.* Intensive exercise (far more than is normally sustainable is required to loose weight. *Relapse rates are high (brain controled setpoints at work) * Obesity, is almost impossible to cure.

Having a personal preference is not the same as using hate speech. Unfortunately, the last two groups in the US that it is still socially acceptable to use hate speech against are the obese and the unattractive.






-

Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Like I said in my post, some girls have problems with it. More than you might think. And this might only be my experience, but the ones who were turned on by my size the most have also been the ones I've found myself least interested in getting serious with. Sometimes I feel good about it, sometimes I'd much prefer one that was "just right" or even a little smaller than that. Besides, most seem to think it's more about how you use it than what you're using.



-- Modified on 7/10/2010 9:30:45 AM

I always ask for a photo just so I know who I'm going to meet. It doesn't have anything to do with not wanting to see clients who are overweight or of a certain race. I just feel better if I know a little bit about a new client so I don't feel like I am meeting a complete stranger, even though I am lol. Recently a potential client sent me a picture and he looked *just like* my dad! Only time I have ever declined an appointment based on appearance, but I think it was understandable in this case FYI Alex, love your blog.

many have asked for a physical description.  No problem, but when you are built like a greek god and hung like a horse, that's easy to say.  But for me it's always a gamble..