I was reading some posts recently where guys wrote that they actually PREFER professional service providers to sex in "civilian" life, or "civies."  Really?  Seriously?  I mean, I have had some nice enjoyable experiences with pros, but I have always regarded them as the next-best-thing to a civilian girlfriend or hot date, and I always assumed that most men felt the same way.  What I enjoy most about civies is the mutual attraction.  She's with me because she WANTS me.  To me, nothing can replace that.  Especially when she wants ONLY me.  >)  I don't hook up with civies often, but when I do, they always rock my world ... a true GFE!  Some guys complain about the dating protocol (having to stay in touch, taking her out), but that seems like a small price to pay.  In fact, I actually miss intimacy.  Personally, I would give anything to have a hot girlfriend.  Meanwhile, here I am making the most of it with professionals.  Don't get me wrong ... I am having some good times with great ladies too!  But to me, it's just not quite the same, and civies are always top preference.  

So anyway, I was surprised to see some fellow hobbyists sing the praises of professionals over civies.  What is your take?  Opinions / insights ... both sides, fire away.

Most of us are married.  So, Pros are our Civies!

Personally, I like both. I like being able to be sexually selfish with a pro, and I like the whole GF really wants to be with me, no money involved passion of civvie sex.

Call me a greedy pig, but I see no reason not to have both.

Case in point about being able to be selfish. I was with a provider a few days ago, she always starts off with a BBJ followed by intercourse for a while and then finishes up with CIM which I fucking love. The point is, I stop having intercourse and switch back to a BBJ when "I" want to, I doesn't matter if she is right on the edge of cumming, I am the customer and it's all about me. Do you really think you can take a civvie GF right to the verge of orgasm, pull out and ask her to finish you off with a blow job? Not on your fucking life. lol

I recently discovered the Hobby.  I was a very active civvie dater since I divorced about 14 years ago. I did the Internet dating thing, and because I am a good-looking succesful guy, women pretty much throw themselves at me.  Now only about 10% of them look as good as our lovely Providers; and so many civvies will not swallow the load or even give an enthusiastic BJ.  I have had a blast with all my providers, who BTW sucked me dry, had great bodies, and treated me as passionately as civvie.  As for expenses, most civvie dates ran 2 bills anyway and sometimes you did not get the prize until date 3, 4, or 5 (usually 2nd date and some horny bitches jumped me at the threshold -- lucky me). All in all, I would spend just as much money to get the civvie naked as I do a provider.  Had I discovered the Hobby years ago, I would not be interested in civvie dating. I love women, there is nothing better than getting naked and being in a woman's arms. I want a casual relationship.  Let's face it, I'm 50 years old and for my cohort I am a prize.  I want young hot women; that's hard to find in the civvie world unless you want to be a sugar daddy.  No drama with the Hobby, no crazy women on my door step, no one blowing up my phone, calling my office, pulling a Carrie Underwood on my car, and so far I have gotten laid every time -- on the first date, LOL.

Of course, ideally, a Provider quality civvie 35 - 40 years old who would blow my socks off and rock my world everytime could work. Problem is, I love women. I've had a couple of 40 year old hotties fall in love with me, but I love women. I need to chase them, and catch them, and get them in the sheets.  Two farm animals put it well in a joke: Two bulls were standing on the hilltop admiring all of the sexy cows in the pasture.  The young bull said, "Wow, look at her, lets run down there and fuck that hot cow."  The old bull said, "let's walk down, and fuck them all."

I'm taking a walk in Hobby Land.  It may be P4P, but my cock can't tell the difference.

Happy Hobbying.

but there is a saying, if you want something done right, call a pro.

I think that overall the providers I now see can screw circles around most of the civies I knew (Save one, but she was my first.)

When it comes to drama and complications, you can't beat the hobby in terms of minimzing that annoying aspect of sexuality.

As for chemestry, I find plenty of that with providers I meet also.

But as with any other esthetic desire, YMMV.

I don't try to weigh one vs the other, each has  a purpose and a place in my life right now.

I'm still young, single, more financially stable than most guys my age, in great shape and have my looks, I'm outgoing and not at all shy about approaching anyone, so getting laid is still like shooting fish in a barrel. But it has more to do with how much I want to invest in it, and I'm not talking money.

The problem with civvie dating is exactly that - the dating. It's time consuming. Not that it isn't worth it. I agree completely that having a real connection with someone, which only comes from getting to know them, makes the sex that much hotter. But I'm much too focused on ME right now, still "climbing the ladder" so-to-speak, and being a daddy, are two things that take presedence over my love life at the moment.

Given the choice, I'd certainly rather be genuinely in-love and intently focused on that person. But having spent all of my 20's in a LTR, I missed out on a lot of things that I should have done for ME because I had to take HER needs into account, and I'm not talking sex - my ex did shit in the bedroom that few women would, pro or otherwise, plus we were swingers so variety was a non-issue. Honestly, "variety" seems over-rated to me sometimes. That's not what I'm here for.  

The point that escapes you is that we all aren't willing, or able, to make the kind of investments into a civvie date that you are.  Providers give me one thing I can't get elsewhere - convenience. I can get my rocks off on a whim and I don't have to jump through all the hoops, and I don't have to feel any remorse if I never speak to her again.

This can be done with civie girls too with minimum effort, but you don't get to decide by yourself if it's NSA or not - she has something to say about it too! And always having to play the part of the asshole who should have - but didn't - care, isn't fun.  

I tried to do the FWB thing but I've found that such familiarity leads to certain expectations that I have no desire to meet. It always ends up feeling like a REAL relationship before long.  

Random bar hook-ups are fine, but do you always want to be fucking someone who's pissy drunk? That shit got old back in college. And lets face it, your odds of going to the grocery store and getting a girl strait into bed without any formalities are nill. We can't all be "Hank Moody" - and I wouldn't want to leave a trail of burning bridges like that anyway.  

The bottom line is, sex, if that is ALL you want, is just an act - insert penis into vagina (or other orifice). The quality of the act itself, is all about the other persons skill set and willingness to please, and obviously enhanced via your level of physical attraction. Envelope on the nightstand or not, doesn't change this.

YOU sound like a single guy who doesn't want to be single. So it's no surprise that your need to feel genuinely desired detracts from your experience with a P4P girl. It's probably about as emotionally satisfying for you as watching a porno - same here. But the difference is I don't give a fuck. I don't show up with any emotional needs or expectations that she has to want me for me. In fact, I show up specifically because I know she won't - that's the beauty of it!

It's always nice when I meet one who I can find something more to like about than just her tits, but it never changes my reasons for being there - and you can apply that to civie and provider alike. I have no problem shutting down the emotional faucet and focusing entirely on my hedonistic needs - for you, maybe it's not such an easy thing.

Although it's possible to find pros who combine the best of both worlds- intimacy AND NSA sex. In fact, at my age (mid 50s), it's a little easier to find professional ladies who can more easily get past the age thing.

I guess many here are just incapable of having civvie relationship so they simply do no know how it is like. Pros get you off that's all..they are with you for the money.

Reality is better than fantasy.

Of course, all fantasy relationships have some element of reality and all real relationships have some element of fantasy. Both can have both benefits and consequences.

In general, I have found sex in a civie context to be better but to be accompanied with more complications.

Sex with a professional can nevertheless be very good; and usually has far fewer complications.

My personal sexual menu is more limited with professionals than with civies because professionals have a larger element of the unknown. However, with civies I have to be much more careful of their emotional wellbeing.

There is room for both.

I am pse/gfe and what you said made me almost melt in the heart. What a sweetheart.

if you happen to have a submissive GF or wife, then of course you can be as selfish as you want. i would be sorely disappointed if my Husband were ever anything less than 100% selfish in our sex life...that's what i need, that's the energy that's most natural and comfortable for me. one big surprise for me upon entering this hobby...how rare it's been for me to find men who are truly comfortable being selfish. a big part of my screening is weeding out all the guys who want someone to worship like a goddess...(eek!). and still, with most of my clients have to be gradually eased in to unleashing that raw, selfish primal masculine energy...WITHOUT guilt! so in that respect i wish more men had your attitude.

There are wonderful things about both, and no need to second guess yourself about which is better. Sounds like you really want a lover, so take a break from the hobby and you will find yourself forced to find that lover (unsatisfied desire is a great motivator).

If I had to give up one, it would be the hobby for sure but they are completely different experiences. It is sort of like asking which one is better - your normal working day, or a day at a five star resort. The resort is better in a lot of ways, but no one can live like that full time unless they have a bucket of money and no desire to do anything useful. The hobby is a vacation from the reality of your life, and not something you should ever compare, or equate, to real life.

Or maybe a real relationship is like a balanced diet, and the hobby is candy? I do not want to give up candy, but I could - the balanced diet is not an option.

Sometimes, in a world permeated with messages teaching men that even the slightest bit of selfishness is a bad thing, men need to learn how to be selfish.

One of my favorite books was written by Ayn Rand. It's title? "The Virtue of Selfishness."

Teaching men to accept a certain amount of selfishness in themselves sans guilt is an admirable task.

It's like being a chef -- sure you have ingredients you can cook at home and it'll be a fantastic meal, cheaper, probably healthier but it takes time and also your choice is limited by what you have in the fridge.

Going out to eat is more expensive but it's relatively quick and the menu is pretty much up to your fancy.

In my humble opinion, which is also biased, and slanted, etc.,
Wifes -> you do it for a purpose = procreation, make them shut up and let you watch TV, or help you fall asleep.
Civie -> to show you are virle, and possible marriage material, etc.
Pros -> to get your rocks off, enjoy yourself, try something new and variety and most importantly, to get that positive excitement or butterflies going in your stomach as you walk up to the door as if it is a first date.

Wife, Sex, wife always sucked.  But she would suck my cock for a long, but not swallow.
Civie GF, well, good, never great sex, sometimes some increadible BBJS's, most of them treat cum as toxic waste.
Pros, always had a great time, usually an increadible time.

Best pros-- I've done more semi-professional strippers who combined the best of gf/pro.  They don't watch the clock, call you, have fun, etc.  You just need to find the right ones.  Most strippers are seriously into the money, so need to find the horny girl  looking for extra money but not a fully committed pro stripper.  Otherwise, it just won't work.

what you are saying is true.  I'm not married, like most of the "hobbyists"..........It's kind of a ying versis yang thing for me.....   I get it fairly often from civvies......but really enjoy the time I spend iwth a provider.   I wish I could find a civvie that could act like a provider occasionally......or vice versa......   bottom line....I just plain like sex....and like to partike in my "likes" several many times a week.   If I can find a civvie...that's good. It's alway comforting to know that I have providers that can take care of my hunger..................

LuckyIrishPrick makes sense. Pros also have discretion, don't fall in love, don't call, don't text, don't want to be with you on holidays, don't want you to leave your wife etc, and that's worth paying for in itself.

Plus you get variety if you choose (I choose), and if you want variety, the hobby probably works out cheaper, especially if you add to dinners and dates the value on your own time needed to invest in getting a string of women into bed and managing the accompanying drama. I'm still relatively young and not overly repulsive  (I think / hope) so the hobby really is about convenience for me, but in time I'll probably appreciate 20 year old spinners even more.

As for intimacy, at least in the physical sense - which I think is what you're asking - you're not seeing the right people. YMMV from person to person, but from my own experiences, it's there if you want it and are prepared to pay for it.

Ms. Jolie, you look like an incredible girl!  I'm afraid you're a bit out of my league when it comes to the price range.  But I will definitely check out your DangerousEnvy site!  

Good answers!!  That was an interesting discussion.  I have to agree in the end, I love and need both aspects, and can't even imagine life without them both.  Each aspect frames the other.  I don't put up with relationship drama, but I also don't put up with cold providers!!

I still ultimately come out preferring girlfriend sex.  It's not because of an emotional connection, as some of you suggested, but because I believe the sex experience can only be fully explored when her desire is 100% and when there is no time limit (bear in mind, I can't afford to pay for more than an hour).  Examples:  building up sexual tension throughout an evening or even over days; marathon sex for hours; a girlfriend who's horny and begging for it; making or watching her come (which has happened with some providers, but not a lot); taking pictures and videos (which I've only done with one provider); trying to meet girls together (both for free!) ... .  

My perspective might be different if I could afford a provider for a whole day or weekend.  Bottom line, one hour is just not enough to satisfy me!  

On the other hand, wanting variety and having professional options helps make me a much more patient and discriminating dater.  I don't have to rely on my dates to "put out," because if she's not ready, I can always keep hiring pros.  And I'm not interested in civilian dates at all unless they're either very hot or very sexual / bi.  Why settle for ho-hum?!    

I think that our preferences also have to do with our civilian situations and experiences.  I can imagine that if you're married, it casts a whole different light on everything.  In my experience, escorts are the rule, and relationships are the exception.  My GF's have been low in quantity but high in quality -- young, cute, and eager to do just about anything.  I never had to see a provider because of a boring relationship.  In fact, here I am fantasizing about a girlfriend when the providers get unfulfilling.  How ironic is that?!  >D

Ultimately, I've decided that my true fantasy is a hybrid situation, the best of both worlds:  I have one "regular."  She's hot and horny for me, we meet once a month, we have an incredible weekend together, and then we go our own ways until next month's date.  I don't really care if I pay for her or not, as long as she's got the fire.  Meanwhile, I also enjoy the occasional girl on the side (most likely pros to keep things simple, or girls I meet with my regular).  Reliability plus variety.  Nice!  

Now, if only I could just double my salary, LOL .......