you havent any idea what TEAL is either

that is very funny Mr. Hotair haha!

i never ask anyone a question i wouldn't
want an honest answer to.

i don't care how often you leave the seat
up>>>>you best git your ass in bed with me! its
MY TIME haha!

Dear Nikkey:
In this day and age with built in Navigation systems and GPS most of the time we don't. That is the benefits of directions. Most of the times you don't need to make that required stop at the gas station any more.

THE MAN RULES
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys side of the story. (it's pretty good.)
You always hear the rules from the female side....
now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note… these are all numbered "1" on purpose!
1. Men are not mind readers. (first & foremost rule)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. if it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or hockey.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I  am in shape. Round is a shape!
1. Thank you foe reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.

Men on average utter about 7,000 words a day, women about 20,000.  So if we don't talk to you when we get home, don't get mad.  We've just run out of words.  The tank is empty.
Now, compressor, if you'd only make this much sense on the P&R Board we'd be pals!  LOL!

Ahhh, come on.. admit it, sometimes you guys DO need directions, lol.... I know you may enjoy the adventure of making a 30min trip a 3 hours adventure, but come on... what's the harm in asking for directions, or listening to the co-pilot who actually knows where you're supposed to be going?

The rest I agree with. That's funny... for years my mom & I said our mini-van was grey, but my step-dad swore it was blue... men are more likely to be color-blind than women(they see blue instead of green,etc), which would explain the only seeing in 16 colors, lol.

an honest remake that those jeans really DO, in fact, make your butt look fat.

So I guess you are spot on!


HH

-- Modified on 11/4/2011 10:33:22 PM

Wow, what a message that hits the hammer to the nail. If I could, I would put this message on black velvet and hang it in my garage, the second last refuge for a man. The first would be the bathroom (thank you Al Bundy!)

J.APPLESEED

I guess there wasn't a rule #2.

talk about a good nights sleep.

She: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
He:   "No, dear, it's your huge ass that makes you look fat."

I am putting this on my website.  Lol

The part about sleeping on the couch is like camping is priceless.  LOL!   My ex would wait till I fell asleep then try to climb back in bed.  I guess he did not like camping.

Dear DuplicitousLust:

In this day and age with built in dictionaries and thesaurus in our computers and phones, most of the time we don't need too much help deciphering your posts. That is the benefit of dictionaries. Most of the time you don't need to make that required stop at the thesaurus anymore as long as you write like a sane human being.

Of course, there are people I met on these boards who can talk about the intricate details of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle related to the ambiguity in the limits of what can be known versus the accuracy in which a certain other characteristic of the said object can be known in detail. Your post certainly dwells in the realm of what can be deciphered with certainty because h/2 of the time, when one thing is understood about your post, the other half is quite incomprehensible. Not that it's a bad thing... just sayin.