So I'm with this young asian lady who has a solid set of B-cups and she is trying to provide russian. The ratio of breast to penis simply isn't working and at one point she utters in very broken engrish "too small!". My head pop-up like WTF lady, did you just call the general small? When she noticed my surprise she then pointed to her chest and said "these small". Oh, we both laughed and then moved on.  

Anyone ever have something similar happen, I'm sure there are some wild stories out there.

she said to me "you too much beaucoup".....

Oh wait! brain fart... That was a scene in Full Metal Jacket where he mentions his "magnificent specimen of pure Alabama snake"

Wish it had been me

Later, as she was delivering a stellar BBBJ, she looked up at me and said, "I wanna be your ATM."
No, not THAT ATM!

I don't get asked back there any more

BED!

I shared this story here in the past, but it's relevant to this thread so here it is again:

 
I booked a hotel room in a small local hotel that I had used several times in the past, to do an outcall with a provider who I had already seen a few times. In the past the rooms I booked there all had two queen sized beds or one king bed, so I never even thought to  request a certain bed size. Just a simple room for a night. When I got in the room I noticed it had two tiny single beds (or twins,whatever you call them). I probably could have complained and changed rooms to get a room with bigger beds, but it was late and they were pretty full, and I was thinking they stuck me in there because they probably didn't have other rooms available, so I thought I would make do.  
 
 I got undressed and lay on the bed, while she was getting undressed standing next to a mirror. As I was laying on the bed alone, I realized just how small it really was and I said, "I wish this bed was bigger!" She replied, "Don't worry about it. Size has nothing to do with it. You're fine. Besides you make up for it in girth!" I guess she misheard me.

-- Modified on 11/22/2013 7:00:43 P

END OF MESSAGE

Brings to mind the old story in which a couple is undressing.
She looks at him and says: "Who do you expect to please with THAT?"
He replies: "Why ME, of course.

A man's dick just has to be long enough to reach the ground.

Or something like that anyways

A wannbe client sent me a text with a photo of his hard cock and a request to meet.

I texted back:  "no, it's too late", but somehow my spellcheck changed it to: "no, it's gross" and I hit send before I noticed

Sounds like your subconscious  or autocorrect intervened

Oh, no.  That was.......