I can understand now the aggravation, frustration and let down of trying to find a provider who just does it for you. who is what you are absolutely looking for.  
You look at ads, read websites, read reviews and make sure her reviews state she likes no lo es the certain things you want.  
You discuss your fantasy and she seems all excited and she seems to be totally what you are looking for.  
You get to the date, and she is NOTHING  at all what she claimed as far as in sexual prowess or she is not the tiger and nympho the reviews claim. She is not the pse or kinky provider you wanted. She is more like passive, and not much into sex it seems and just lays there or barely does much.

Posts from ladies trying to understand the male side of this equation are relatively rare.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

It sucks to be disappointed like that after all of the ritual that we typically go thru to set up play dates. I have been very lucky so far - no bad experiences. I screen prospective providers almost as thoroughly as they screen me! I always gauge a prospective provider by her enthusiasm during emails and/ or text messages. The more lukewarm her response to my queries about all-girl play, the more likely I am to pass on her services. So far I have chosen well- we gal hobbyists have to go the extra mile in searching for just the right playmate.....but doing our homework can have a tremendous payoff

Caitlyn,

If they are good, you eat them up if not you just spit them out.  And the only way to tell the difference is to taste them.

1) Good
2) Better
3) GOD DAMN!!!!!

... is a great way to better understand them and build empathy for them.  

and the subject of a lot of jokes.  

Consider that back in the bad old days you would have had to troll some sleazy bar, the ads in the local alt paper or Heaven forfend the Yellow Pages.  Yes, some of us are old enough to have done that. At least here you can get some reasonable sense of looks and propensities, accounting of course for personal taste and hyped reviews.  As recently as 15 years ago most of the providers  I encountered who would even consider a 3some were--how do I  say this delicately--ball busting unattractive shrews.

is to focus on the strengths that a gal has, while avoiding the minuses.

Sure, no one can be everything to everyone, but almost all gals have enough positives to be fun to be with.

As I am once again searching for a third/ doubles partner for my upcoming travel. OMG! I have searched TER, read reviews, and tried to find the best fit for what he likes and the experience. While some girls claim to be "couples friendly" they really want to just show up for big bucks. Trying to wade through the hobby BS and knowing too much about what really goes on leaves me bummed. I don't get how you guys do it, the little head persuasion must be strong! Lol

It's not really pain CK, it's the learning curve. And the most important thing a gentleman learns is that in this hobby, there's no such thing as 'a sure thing'. So you set up a detailed system of screening, do your homework, and hope. You finally find an ad that does something for you, and you send an intro. Remember, you've already discarded 97% of the ladies, based on your screening techniques. The learning curve comes with the other 3%. Sometimes she doesn't write back. Sometimes her reply is a one liner. Sometimes she writes back months later. Sometimes she asks questions that you've clearly answered in your intro (you know how much you ladies dislike redundant questions). But then, sometimes you get a thoughtful reply. You jump at the chance to set up a session. Sometimes your schedules don't match. Sometimes one of the two gets sick, and has to postpone. Sometimes she's so late, you can't wait anymore. Sometimes she doesn't show up. But then, sometimes a session actually happens. During the session, sometimes she just lays there, as you well know. Sometimes there's a knock on the door. Sometimes her phone rings. Sometimes it seems like she doesn't want you to touch her. Sometimes you catch her watching tv. Sometimes you catch her thinking about her grocery list. But then, sometimes you both seem to enjoy yourselves while making love, and basking in the afterglow. A novel idea! When that finally happens, you've found an atf. She goes on the repeat list, to be seen whenever possible, depending on how many other atfs are on the list, time, location, etc.  

Don't go by "claims" or even "reviews" for that matter.

And while I sympathize with everyone's difficulties it is kind of a hoot to hear a woman's experience trying to find a play date. Awesome! Unfortunately I think a couple other posters nailed it, guys have the advantage that sooner or later, the little head will take over and make something happen! One of the funnies I read once said that a hard dick would take a man places he wouldn't go with a machine gun.  
Like most folks, there have been some times better than others. But if I were to add up all my p4p experiences, the percentage of times that it has been great or better would be a big number. 95% maybe? I would imagine that if I had been actively pursuing fun in the civvie world there would have been a lot more less than stellar dates

... a simple old-fashioned, one-on-one, male-female roll in the hay.
So no sympathy is needed for me along those lines - I've been having a ball with the vast majority of ladies I've met.
Where I DO need sympathy though, is for my poor pocketbook!  I might have to delay my retirement by 5 years if I keep this up lol!  So please keep the specials coming... President's Day, Valentine's Day, MLK Day, St. Patrick's Day, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Columbus Day, Arbor Day, National Free BBBJ Day, etc...  

Things don't always work out as planned.  I have been able to adapt and make the most of each situation...with mostly good luck.

you'll find a person you truly connect with. I have been with many ladies. My ATF, though, is just magic for me, and has been from our first date.  I wouldn't change a single thing about her, in or out of the bedroom.

Man, you are in love. You drop the ATF thing in every post you write.

Some guys really blur the ATF/love thing. I have had my share of lengthy bc chats with the ladies and with more than a few dudes I have tried to help up off the floor after there hooker ended it. LOL

I know it's none of my business....and I am not sure why it even rubs me the wrong way...but it rubs me the wrong way. And yes, when you mention your 'ATF' EVERY post in this glowing , 'magical' fashion as if you found the love of your life...it's a red flag. The line has been blurred. Yep.

Hence the "need" for gift giving, flowers, and the ATF moniker.  

Sex is like pizza, even when it's bad it's good.

Well not my world anyway. It's been many years since I was let down that badly but then I'm very picky and do a lot of research before I request an appointment. I have a suggestion - let a well-known hobbyist you trust find a truly bi girl for you. Most providers who claim to be bi aren't - big news huh? I gave up looking for that combo a long time ago after some so-so 3 way sessions. But I'm sure one of your hobby buddies knows a bi girl and can help you out.

You are having review issues, providers can say anything they want about themselves and often do. Most guys don't really put much credence in a providers own self praise. Which brings me back to my point. You are experiencing review issues.  

and where did you ever get the idea that the OP was looking for someone to "connect" with???

She isn't looking for a connection, she is looking for someone who can provide some mind blowing sex with her and he SO, who I assume is really the one she has a "connection" with.

You make TidWit or even ROGM look manly in comparison to your lame, sappy posts. sheesh

about "Most providers who claim to be bi aren't", because that has not been my experience at all. I look at a provider's personal website to find out her sexuality, and so far my experiences with their claims have been spot on. I don't bother with the bi girl reference on her TER profile since it isn't filled in by the provider so I never trust its accuracy.