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she would have to offer a big discount to get me interested.

I wouldn't have seen her 3 times if I didn't really like her, so it would already have something good in it.

Called a lady that I had seen three previous times.  Seemed to get along good enough.  Told her that I was in a town about one hour away on business and would drive over if she could see me.  Sez she would love to.  Drive over, give her the choice of hotels.  Make the reservation, check in order dinner and wait for her text to tell me what time she will be there. tick tock, tick tock.........never calls or responds to the my texts.  Finallly three hours later, I check out and head back the other way.  Two days later I get an e-mail response to mine, saying that she was soooo sorry that her i-phone screen went down and to let her know when I would be back in town.
6 hours and a $$ down the tubes???

Would you call Bullshit??

offer to make it up to you somehow.

it is possible that there was a tech glitch. (unlikely but it can't be ruled out). BUT....

a provider with a professional attitude and an understanding of how it looks to you (like you got NCNSed for a more important call) would  make up for the lapse.

even then there is the question of why didn't she use another phone or email? a backup communication method? having all your business data on one device is risky.

Her excuse was of a cookie cutter variety. BS!! It's happened to me. As well as the cookie cutter "Let me make it up to you" response. I don't give a shit. In any service industry your reputation is going to be decided by your reliability.

I just don't believe crap like that.  

My .02

MVR

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kind of like this picture. Don't ever see her again.

I'd certainly be Pissed.  She knew you were getting the room just to see her, she knew what hotel you were in.  
You can not call her out as you have no proof of the BS, though if her phone went down, I'd expect she'd quickly get to a computer.
Whether you choose to trust her again is another story.  
skb

If her apology was accompanied by an offer of some sort of discount, say a 2 hour date for the price of a one hour, then maybe its legitimate. I have a hard time believing that her screen going down prevented her from calling you, but I don't know, maybe whatever went wrong really did make it impossible to for her to either get in touch with you or to see you.

Since you've seen her before, presumably with no problems, there is no reason not to give her the benefit of the doubt. But you should also expect her to go the extra mile to try and make it up to you as well by offering more time for the same rate, or a discounted rate, whichever you prefer. On the few ocassions I've had to cancel last minute, that is generally what I do.

I have been lucky, I only had one NCNS in 5 years but she had a good explanation.

This kind of thing happens all the time. Nothing new.

i may be a bit more forgiving... and it's OK, you can disagree, BUT... my experience is that once in a while a "cookie cutter" is for real and if you respond in "cookie cutter" fashion you'll miss out. SERIOUSLY miss out.

BTW i'm also not trying to talk the OP out of deciding that his provider was BSing him. in the absence of an offer to make good, i'd suggest a less anonymous post and the naming of names.

i can think of a very few ladies where "something happened" and there was an offer to make it up. i did not respond in a knee jerk fashion and afterwards it was all very good. there are also a few cases where "something happened" and i'm quite happy to not call on them. the difference?

if i am accorded the respect and consideration due to an individual and not treated as a "cookie cutter" client, i'll return the favor. then it is all easy and all good.... simple.

nothing and no one is 100% reliable.

She admits the problem was on her end, not yours.  I would expect a significant "I'll make it up to you" kind of offer.  The last two times this happened to me resulted in very different endings.  In both cases I drove to the provider's city, got a room, and waited.  And waited.  Nothing from either one.

Provider #1:  When I wrote asking if everything was OK she took a week to reply and then yelled that I hadn't given her the room number so how could she show up?  I had in fact left 3 voice mails with room number and my cell number.  I pointed it out to her and she never replied.

Provider #2:  Replied to me e-mail two days later telling me her phone died with my phone number in it.  Appologized profusely and said next time I'm in town she'll stay ovwernight for the 1 hr rate.

Somehow I'm far more understanding of the second woman's explaination.  the overnight was wonderful and I've already got a reservation to see her again next time I'm there.

Things happen, electronics break, little kids get inconveniently sick.  In my mind the key is how they respond.

a sudden change in the weather, turned the interstate into a parking lot, literally.  I called her, I was stopped in the high speed lane with 20 miles still to go & as much as I wanted to see her (really bad)...   Her schedule could not be changed, so we agreed to reschedule.  As luck would have it, I got free the very next day & left enough time that a flooded interstate would have still got me there in time.  

She was most gracious... took a chance on me (also not our first meeting) and she remains a Favorite to this day.  
skb

Not fair but this life has it's ups and downs. I have been in the position where I have booked someone and refused a booking from another to accommodate the first booking and they have not shown up or canceled at the last minute. That means I have lost $300 that I cannot get back.

Do they offer my fee or part thereof? No ,so in this instance it's quid pro quo. You win some, you lose some. I don't see why the provider always has to "make it up" . Yes I know it's a service industry but if I don't cancel within a certain time frame no matter what my reason is, certain other services will charge a cancellation fee .

If there was a charge for both parties I could see fit to pony up but when it's one sided, I won't and nor do I expect a client to either. It's part of the game

Try that at work after a 2 hour lunch.



HalfHour

Until the make up session takes place, and exactly what it includes, it's hard to say just how much bs was involved in the ncns

That is BS no other way to call it.Okay,if that is true her phone went blank/didnt work fine things happen but 2 days later a response.Seriously?!So,she has no way to communicate besides that 1phone.She's a provider her means of having business is to be abe to communicate with clients,so if the only way she can call,email,or text is w/that 1 phone sounds weird to me.She already expected you to be in town so if the phone went down she could've went to a cyber-cafe,kinkos,somewhere that has a computer to let you know.This is not the business how unprofessional.Legitimate things sometimes comes up and a cancellation has to be made,but this just says that some people are really not about business and respect for others time and money.

I have never NCNS a lady but one time I did cancel at the last minute. (My kid got sick.) I did make it up to her when I rescheduled, I put an extra $100 in the envelope for the last second cancellation as it is only right and fair pay something for her time lost. Her rate was $200 for the hour I booked. I own a business that is in part service oriented and if I NCNS a customer I would rarely if ever get a chance to make it up, and would love that chance. I would lose a customer and most likely the business of those they told. If they NCNS me I have little recourse. But that is how it is, the seller must cater to the needs of the buyer not the other way around. I always have let people have a second chance if they try to make things right. But they must TRY TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT. If they don't there is no incentive to give them a second chance. If your client NCNS and did not try to make things right then you are well with in your right to put him on your DNS list, in fact you would be a fool not to. But in life things are often one sided. And taking loss is part of every business. If lady NCNS me she would have to offer me something to make it up to me or lose my business. No one is saying that she should offer a freebee but maybe extra time or a discounted rate to make up for his loss to show sincerity. After all he lost six hours and $200 bucks. Trying to make it up is the right thing to do both from a moral stand point and a business one. But I guess that is beyond your understanding and why I would not want to do business with you in or out of the hobby.

But, if she wants to make it up to you, let her get the hotel the next time you make an appointment.

Some additional thoughts.....I told her that I would be there and checked in by 5pm.  Reply was "could we make it a little later".  I said sure let me know when you will be there.  Earlier in the day she had said that "anytime" would be great.  Something came up, since I never recieved a reply from her again. The next day I e-mailed her, asking to let me know that she was OK.  The next day is when I got the answer posted.

Yes we had seen each other 3 times before over a 12 month time frame, the last one was about 1 month ago.  The fact that there was NO urgency to communicate does not sit well and then the reply was a bit flippant.
Sure I know that this happens, but it's called taking care of business.....anyway I'm not bitching, just throwing something out there.  By the way the average "gift" for the previous three visits was a G note per visit.

Thanks
Slippery

If her reply was flippant I would put her on my DNS list real quick and warn anyone who contacted me about her. That is not cool.

..."But I guess that is beyond your understanding and why I would not want to do business with you in or out of the hobby..."

I look at this business very differently than the other business I run. Why...because the other business does require what this one does and since it's my business model and I have not suffered over the years I see no reason to change what, in my estimation, is not broken. I am the seller but do not follow the "customer is always right/ I have to do all the making up" methodology. I just let it go and move on.

It is not beyond my understanding, I do things differently in this business. My other one...let's just say I have a different business model for that one more in line with what you're talking about. You have every right to disagree and that disagreement is duly noted and I'm pretty sure we'll never cross paths and if you by some stroke of fate contact me and use your board handle I will delete your email out of respect for you.

And maybe you forgot about the latter portion of my post where other businesses(who offer services) require a cancellation fee. I guess you avoid them too. Again, your choice.

Thanks for your perspective on this...always nice to have to think about ones position and have a sensible discussion.

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about your course of action or whether to believe her, or not. Some ladies lie like dogs and some are true blue = no different from their clients...

yes this is full bs.  I drove three hours to see a provider.  she gave me location and told me to meet her on a certain floor of the hotel.  i got here on time, and she said to look for her, which did.  After ten minutes, past time of appointment, i called her, left a message.  Waited another fifteen minutes and left.  Called her again and this she said, "oh i left my phone in my room."  PLEASE this is pure BS.  Never saw the provider and drove three hours home.

I can tell you honestly that I've never done that to a hobbyist and it's very rude to say the least.  I'm very sorry you had to go through that.  

When you're back in town, give me a call, we'll have a grrrrreat time!

T

Exactly, literbike, there is more that business model in use in the real world.

The "indy" music business is much like the hobby. People may not show for performances for various reasons, and people may show but the performance is cancelled. None of those are guaranteed deal breakers for future business transaction. I think the similarity between the two is that each is highly dependant on the specific people involved. If a certain promoter wants a certain act, they will be understanding and vice versa. You can't be succesful either as an artist or promoter if everytime something happens you just say "fuck it! move on! there are plenty of others who will..."

Personally, I think that men who take that viewpoint in the hobby truly look at women as pieces of meat, no matter how much they spout off otherwise. To me, the hobby, as a business, is one of those that requires a bit more understanding, flexibility and acceptance to mishaps than other businesses.

The typical goods and services buyers or sellers may look at it things differently because of what is customary in their trade, there is more that one business model in use in the real world.

'Yes, I'll have the funburger extra sauce, an order of thighs, and a cherry pie. for here.'

HalfHour

HalfHour, I do realize there is more than one business model in the world. I also realize that this hobby as business is much more personal, and that there is much greater risk, than almost any other businesses out there. But because of that I feel it is much more important to treat each other with much more respect than any other business. Part of that respect is respect for each others time. I never implied that you should think, "fuck it! move on! there are plenty of others who will..." I think you should be understanding to things that come up, but that does not mean that my time is not of importance. I always contact the lady if possible to give her a second chance, which is something I rarely do when dealing with other businesses. At the same time, I am hoping she is going to treat me with the same respect and show in some small way that my time is also important to her. I value the time the ladies in this hobby spend getting ready and screening not just the play time. That is why the one time I did have to cancel at the last minute I paid half the fee for the time I booked and  booked anther session. It was a sign of respect for her time she spent on a appointment that did not happen. When a lady cancels at the last minute or is a NCNS, I expect her to respect my time and I spent. I do expect her to try to make it right. There is lots of ways she can do this and not all of them involve discounted or extra time, altho, I feel, they are the most sincere ways to make things right. If she takes the time to write a apology email or calls me to apologize in a timely manner and explain herself it does go a long way to prove that she takes my time seriously. After all life happens. I do realize that my reply to literbike was a little harsh. I do stand by what I said in that reply except that last line. It was out of line. And for being an ass to her that day I have already apologized and she accepted my apology. I was upset and more than a little drunk that day. I will say this I do regret the last line of that post and recant it. Your comment, “ Personally, I think that men who take that viewpoint in the hobby truly look at women as pieces of meat, no matter how much they spout off otherwise.” is just as harsh. I know based on that statement you will not believe this but you could not be more wrong about me, and in my opinion many of the other hobbyists that share my view point. I have as much respect for many of the ladies I have seen in this hobby as I do my doctor, and I trust him with my health. I even married a lady who was a provider when we met.(And, no, I was never her client.) You can't say just because I feel that I should be treated with the same respect that I show them that I “ truly look at women as pieces of meat.” No, I look at them as equals. And to expect less of them than I do other professionals would in my opinion would be demeaning to say the least. I know I will not convince you of my point of view, but that does not give you an excuse to say that I “ truly look at women as pieces of meat” just because I see things differently. I see the ladies in the hobby as professionals and treat them as such. How do you, HalfHour, see them? And by the way if I booked someone to play music and they NCNSed on me, I would never ever book them again no matter how good they are because they are not reliable enough to count on. And so everyone knows I have no problem with cancellation fees. I think they are fair to cover the loses of the person canceled on. After all fair is fair.