‘Twas the time before Christmas, and all through the land
Providers and Hobbyists were making a plan;
The stockings were fastened to the garter with care
In hopes that the Hobbyist soon would be there.
The Provider got ready and fluffed up the bed
While visions of ecstasy danced in her head.
The candles were lit, and the mood was just right,
The curtains were drawn to simulate night…..
Then the phone call came in to find out just where,
As it pierced the soft music, I got out of the chair.
I went to the window and the curtain pulled back
Looked down below and saw a car that was black.
The sky was all gray as the rain drizzled down,
Then he found a parking spot, without turning around.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a good-looking guy with a six-pack of beer,
He was older, but lively, with a kick in his step,
I knew then and there we’d have fun, by heck.
As he walked ‘cross the lot he looked focused and strong
And I thought, ”Get up here, you’re taking too long!”
And then in a twinkling I heard at the door
One little tap, and then there were more.....
I went to the door, pulled it open with a tug,
Invited him in and gave him a hug.
He was dressed very nice, dressed up for our time;
We sat and got comfortable, made sure he was fine.
Then my eyes started twinkling, I kissed him real slow,
His toes began to curl, his pants began to grow.
I proceeded to French, I didn’t use any hat,
Cleaned up every drop, he said, “Man, I love that!”
Then we went to the bedroom where the clothes disappeared;
Lay there and caressed, as I whispered in his ear.
Then the nice, warm, wet touch of my body and hands
Had his attention again, now on with the plan….
I rode like a cowgirl, both frontwards and back,
He was asking for mercy, but I gave him no slack.
Then on to Russian and Greek, every language was spoken,
By the time we were through that cowboy’d been broken.
One finish is nice, two times is a treat,
But the third time around just cannot be beat!
He showered and dressed and as he walked out the door,
He said, “Don’t worry ‘bout me, I’ll be back for more!”
So, if this holiday time has you feeling uptight,
See your friendly Provider, she'll treat you JUST RIGHT !!
